Corrupt-a-wish!

[Substitution]

Granted. But it's all Monopoly money.

Wish I had more patience.

 

[Jason the Yoshi]

Ok, very well, but the veteran you want most will be the last one revealed

I wish me, Sonic, Mario, Tails, Luigi, Amy, Shadow, Rouge, and Peach could form a baseball team

 

[Substitution]

Granted, but you have the worst season of any team.

Wish I was stronger.

 

[Jason the Yoshi]

As you wish, but there's always someone out there who can bench press more than you.

I wish I did not suck at F Zero Maximum Velocity

 

[PATH O__o]

Granted. You won't suck, but you'll be forever mediocre.

I wish I got a discount in every store.

 

[Substitution]

Granted. But now you pay double for theaters and restaurants.

Wish I wasn't so forgetful.

 

[KingofPhantoms]

Granted, but you remember so many things that you begin to suffer from headaches very often. Oh, and be careful not to run into anything you may wish you could forget.

I wish I was better at cooking.

 

[Jason the Yoshi]

As you wish, but all you can cook is soup

I wish I wasn't being made fun of for supporting Moderators all the time

 

[PATH O__o]

Granted, but you'll be made fun of for not being a mod instead.

I wish I could teleport.

 

[Jason the Yoshi]

As you wish, but your first teleportation gets you sent to the principal's office

I wish I was a better guitar player

 

[Substitution]

Granted. Hope you like playing the Ukelele.

Wish I could play fighting games better.

 

[Jason the Yoshi]

Granted, but you will suck with Little Mac

I wish I would stop being dragged into stoopid arguments

 

[Substitution]

Granted. But now, you'll drag others into "stoopid arguments".

Wish I could dance.

 

[PATH O__o]

Granted, but every time you dance you must simultaneously sing, to the top of your lungs, Barney's theme song.

I wish for a cup of tea.

 

[Substitution]

Granted. But you still have to make it.

Wish I could skate.

 

[Link2thelost90]

Granted, you can skate well now but the gods of skating strike you down with a pillar of ice for cheating the system.
I wish I could try my hand at conquering a small planet.

 

[PATH O__o]

Granted, but when conquering, you're only armed with a pen and a frying pan.

I wish for 3 more wishes.

 

[Substitution]

Sure. But by some loophole you've used them up.

Wish I could run fast.

 

[Link2thelost90]

Granted, you run so fast that you are unable to really control yourself when running. So you now force yourself to walk for all eternity for fear of running into things like walls, cars, other people, etc.
I wish I could use magic.

 

[Substitution]

Granted. But you can't control it.
Oh, and trying pyrokinesis only makes sponge cake for some reason.

Wish I had a Playstation.

 

[PATH O__o]

Granted, but it has some sort of virus that infects all your electronics, animating them, and they begin a life of crime because you don't pay enough attention to them.

I wish my headache would go away.

 

[Link2thelost90]

Granted, your head explodes. No head, no headache am I right. *highfives myself*
I wish the whole world was like Paper Mario

 

[Substitution]

Sure.
Just, try not to be near precipitation. I hear it's bad for paper.

Wish I had some pie.

 

[Jason the Yoshi]

As you wish, it's just not Apple Pie

I wish I knew Lucahjin in person

 

[Substitution]

Granted. But it's only a second.

Wish I could jet ski.

 

[Jason the Yoshi]

Granted, but Sonic can still outrun you on foot.

I wish I was invited to dinner by Fox McCloud

 

[Substitution]

Sure. Though good luck getting past Star Wolf...

Wish I could make music...

 

[Jason the Yoshi]

As you wish, but Jun Senoue will probably boo you

I wish I could differentiate between all of my dad's weird music

 

[Blaziken]

Granted. Now you can't differentiate any of your music.

I wish I got a letter to Hogwarts.

 

[PATH O__o]

Granted. But you got it by mistake.

I wish I could climb walls like Spider Man.

 

[Link2thelost90]

Granted, but you're physical form changes to that of an actual spider and people now only greet you with paper towels, shoes, and the occasional cries of people telling the someone else in the room to "Kill it, Kill it" while they nervously sit idle and move only when A. the spider is dead B. close by or C. the other person failed to kill it from the ceiling and it fell back down into the room generally behind or near the couch and they swearing off sitting in the general vicinity cause they think it's gonna be out for revenge or something.
I wish I had a mask.

 

[Jason the Yoshi]

As you wish, but it's a Deku Mask, so BAZINGA! Youre a Deku Scrub!

I wish me and Jazz weren't eaten by Unicron in the 1986 movie

 

[Substitution]

Granted, but you're eaten in the reboot.

Wish I think of wish that hasn't existed yet.

 

[PATH O__o]

Granted. However, it throws the universe into absolute chaos, such an original wish should never have existed. WHAT DID YOU DO!?

I wish I could be more decisive on whether or not I want to cut my hair.

 

[Substitution]

Granted, one side is cut, but the other is not.

Wish I could play Smash against a Substitute.

 

[PATH O__o]

Granted, but

I wish I could jump higher.

 

[Substitution]

Granted, but gravity happens and...

Wish I could type faster.

 

[PATH O__o]

Granted, but you type so fast you break all your keyboards.

I wish I could breath fire whenever I wanted.

 

[Substitution]

Sure, but good luck controlling it. You'll need it.

I wish I could think of ideas for stuff efficiently.

 

[PATH O__o]

Granted, but you forget all those ideas just as fast.

I wish I had some tea.