Best comebacks against Johns.

[MTKO]

I was playing Smash with some friends today for quite a few hours. One of my friends started to come up with lots of different arguments (some about things unrelated to smash) to prove me wrong, just a lot of general johning. My other friend had a quite a few good comebacks to say while I was playing against the person johning. I thought it was pretty funny what people will do and say to try to win in the end. And I found the comebacks my other friend said very funny. So I was wondering, what are some of the best comebacks you've heard that were said to a John? Sorry if this is kind of unrelated to melee game play.

 

[t3h Icy]

No johns.

 

[Kite91]

I played this one guy like 4 years ago and we did a friendly, i was winning with my puff(who is no where near my mains skill at the time) and he says something along the lines of "Im just letting you hit me". So my come back was while looking him in the eye, a rest which won me the game

 

[Gea]

No johns.

No johns.

No johns.

No johns.

No johns.

No johns.

No johns.

No johns.

No johns.

No johns.

No johns.

Nooooooo jooooohns.

 

[MTKO]

I played this one guy like 4 years ago and we did a friendly, i was winning with my puff(who is no where near my mains skill at the time) and he says something along the lines of "Im just letting you hit me". So my come back was while looking him in the eye, a rest which won me the game

I actually laughed out loud when I read this. That's awesome.

 

[rhan]

Or you can say...


"But did you win?"

 

[Dark Hart]

I normally just name the attacks I'm hitting him with, tell them not to jump or not to do something that I know they're going to do, and then they rage, and I say, "I told you what I was doing."

 

[Strong Badam]

^this is the best mindgame ever. i want to be able to say like "shorthop bair after 4 frames airborne" or some ****, lmfao

 

[DualCats]

I let people john and then complain about it passive-aggressively days later.

 

[Bing]

I normally just name the attacks I'm hitting him with, tell them not to jump or not to do something that I know they're going to do, and then they rage, and I say, "I told you what I was doing."

Kinda sounds like Mango... lawls

 

[Rykard]

tell them brawl is your main game

 

[phanna]

No johns.

 

[Mooo]

get annoyed, take a swing, teabag while saying "no johns"

 

[Pimpfish]

i like to say, "im just gayer than you?"

 

[ChivalRuse]

I usually just agree with them: "yes - the stage is the reason you lost." Then I gently stroke their hair all the while thinking "this too shall pass."

 

[KirbyKaze]

"Want a hug?"

 

[Mizar]

''Yeah I know right, I'm just very lucky all the time''

 

[Masmasher@]

inb4 "thats what she said"

also this thread is silly

 

[MTKO]

inb4 "thats what she said"

also this thread is silly

That was the point of making it.

 

[keeper]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gvdf5n-zI14

 

[Biglard]

I normally just name the attacks I'm hitting him with, tell them not to jump or not to do something that I know they're going to do, and then they rage, and I say, "I told you what I was doing."

I imagine that with a G&W player.

"The parachute"
"The roll"
"The juggle throw"
"THE TURTLE" (I don't know why, but I want to say this one out loud)
"The chair"
"The race flag"

 

[Veetaak]

When I do bair with G&W I yell "I LIKE TURTLES" like a ******.
Btw, what G&W does with that turtle has to be illegal xD. He never feeds it or anything he just hits people with it

 

[Walt]

Actually for specifically G&W I have a bunch of names to say loaded up for all my attacks. ftilt is ikea, utilt is finish line, dtilt was manhole and is now seesaw, fsmash is big fire stick, usmash is guardian of my fishtank, fair is credit card, I do yell TURTLE for bair, parachute is still just parachute, and side-b is "rolling a d20". Luckily in the DVC recroom there are a bunch of randoms who will come in and ask to be in the rotation and just get scraped by the regulars so I always have someone to use G&W or bowser or whoever on. I always try to not much them feel bad but I can't help but yell "THATS A BIG FIRE STICK" when I hit them with a fully charged fsmash lol.

 

[FoxLisk]

I usually just agree with them: "yes - the stage is the reason you lost." Then I gently stroke their hair all the while thinking "this too shall pass."

bahahahaha

 

[Stratford]

Learn their john patterns so you can predict them and say them before they have a chance to say them.

 

[Zodiac]

Learn their john patterns so you can predict them and say them before they have a chance to say them.

Now this one is something I could really get into, after all melee is all about observation and prediction.

 

[Kira-]

"Want a hug?"

I can't wait to say this to HugS.

Learn their john patterns so you can predict them and say them before they have a chance to say them.

Lol I love doing this. Then instead of being annoyed at their rage you feel pure joy.

 

[Bones0]

I go overboard and abuse whatever they are complaining about. If they john about me laser spamming, I spam more lasers. If they john that I grab too much, I will bypass any attempts to SHFFL them and just go for grabs over and over.

 

[ChivalRuse]

I just like how people using Fox/Falco/Sheik/Marth have the temerity to tell me that ICs are gay when their character is clearly better.

 

[Jonas]

I go overboard and abuse whatever they are complaining about. If they john about me laser spamming, I spam more lasers. If they john that I grab too much, I will bypass any attempts to SHFFL them and just go for grabs over and over.

"Hey Bones, you shield too much"

 

[ChivalRuse]

One time my brother (who doesn't know anything about smash) was like "you only win because you use that bubble" (referring to the shield). I guess I burst his bubble.

 

[KAOSTAR]

Ive actually gotten some ppl pretty upset just using the you mad line. I was laughing because they were really getting annoyed, and they began playing worse and worse...it was funnier because that person was definitely better than me at the time.

I also like to do whatever they think is gay or dumb etc as much as possible and laugh at their anger lmao.

 

[roosterrat]

Ive actually gotten some ppl pretty upset just using the you mad line. I was laughing because they were really getting annoyed, and they began playing worse and worse...it was funnier because that person was definitely better than me at the time.

I also like to do whatever they think is gay or dumb etc as much as possible and laugh at their anger lmao.

umad? is the best comeback to any showing of unnecessary anger. Such as johns

 

[The Tycon]

"Shut up, Mango."

 

[Kason Birdman]

I like the reply "ya mon"

or when someone johns about anything, not just melee, alpha delpha replies with "Oh.. so you did win?"

 

[Druggedfox]

I just like how people using Fox/Falco/Sheik/Marth have the temerity to tell me that ICs are gay when their character is clearly better.

but ICs are cheap

 

[Merkovski]

The more frustrated my opponent gets, the more I say "Oops" with every hit I land.

 

[Bones0]

"Hey Bones, you shield too much"

LOL! It would be odd to hear someone complain about that if they just keep walking up to me and grabbing me though. XD

 

[Caleb Wolfbrand]

What? you lost your finger in a car accident and have to use your pinky to move the control stick? NO JOHNS.

 

[Zodiac]

if I were kage, I would just come back against every john with "I beat mango."