Advice about Frustration and Anger

[danieljosebatista]

We all know how frustration can affect players in this game. Most of us have seen people yell, throw controllers, bang tables etc. Maybe most of us have even done some of that ourselves. The point is, it is very easy to become frustrated with our performance when playing Melee.

Obviously anger and frustration are not fun for anyone, but it's even less fun for the player who is angry. Generally, players who are frustrated do not play well. They make stupid mistakes that they would never make if they were calm and collected, and they aren't enjoying the game either; they're just pissed. To make matters worse, frustration usually leads to MORE frustration, which can make it even harder to regain composure and control. Imo, the worst part about having anger issues is that it holds you back as a player. It keeps you from having a calm mind and keen senses that might help you get over that thing which is frustrating or hard to overcome in the first place.

A few suggestions I have heard about dealing with frustration and anger issues include taking a break from the game, or taking deep breaths. Unfortunately, these things are only temporary and they will not really help someone who has a frustrated mentality get over it. I've definitely had my share of angry moments with Melee, and I know lots of people who deal with this as well. What are good ways to overcome or manage frustration?

 

[Lovage]

play to learn not to win

you will become way better in the long term, and then win a lot more as well

edit: to add more about frustration

getting frustrated/upset at your performance is a really normal/healthy thing, it proves that you actually care about the game. feeling these things is way better than just feeling apathy towards what happens in the game. but RAGING at the game, getting unnecessarily mad in friendlies, and getting frustrated over nothing is unhealthy and will hurt your progress more than anything else possibly could.

 

[The Star King]

I used to have really high temper when I was a little kid, but I NEVER really get mad at anything anymore. The emotion virtually doesn't exist in me any longer. I'm not sure but what happened, but I guess my advice would be to tell yourself every time you're getting angry that it's only making things worse and try to force it down, and eventually the emotion will be less powerful towards you. Maybe. This coukd be horrible advice IDK lol

 

[Veetaak]

Wear a hat

 

[LittleBoyLarry]

wear a hat

it sometimes works.

 

[mesa23]

it sometimes works.

it ALWAYS works.

 

[Veetaak]

it ALWAYS works.

You seem to be an experienced guy

 

[mesa23]

You seem to be an experienced guy

when i was a kid i used to have anger issues

then when i was in middle school i started wearing hats and the whole anger thing stopped.

ALWAYS works

 

[Kal]

Haters gon' hate.

 

[Cleod]

Man up, think about something else, smash the controller if you need to, just make sure the controller isn't broken

 

[mesa23]

Man up, think about something else, smash the controller if you need to, just make sure the controller isn't broken

yoooo
it's not cool to advocate controller abuse

listen up kids, never smash your controllers. hit your friends if you need to but leave the controllers out of it

 

[Zodiac]

I have this issue as well, I have broken numerous controllers because of it. However the best advice I can give is that you shouldn't go in with high expectations, I found that every time I got frustrated it was because I couldn't do something I thought I should be able to do or couldn't beat someone I thought I should be able to beat. Once you accept your limitations you can operate better within them and get better results and eventually expand them. Also, it really helps tone down the anger because you're not setting yourself up for it.

 

[crush]

Realize that you're playing super smash brothers.

 

[Blarg I'm Dead]

I stick to the "Play to improve and winning will come" mindset. The biggest things that will make me lose my **** are missing techs and ****ing up my spacing to where I get shield grabbed. Basically things that I tell myself are unforgivable at my skill level.

I always try and keep a clear mind and generally I try and back off to give myself some comfort room and evaluate the situation to avoid being hit with more gay.

 

[MasterShake]

Just don't forget that it's a game. Winning and losing is just not a big deal. Why even get upset about losing? It shows that you have something to work for and improve on!

 

[Pi]

some times i really wanna break my controller
but those things are expensive and i love my controllers
i would never hit a woman

 

[S1 The God]

I usually just look down at my hands
then over to the gamecube
and then say to my self

What am I doing?
What's the point of getting mad?
Really, it's a 10 year old game for a dead console and I'm getting overly upset about it.
I need to calm down.
What I really need to do, is
Open the door
Get on the floor
EVERYBODY WALK THE DINOSAUR

 

[ILM]

I try not to get mad, but every time I **** a spacie and then get CPed Sheik on Fountain of Dreams, I can't help but get a little annoyed.

 

[Shadow Huan]

sd's to loose a set is my most recent anger thing. I really don't get frustrated about missing a tech or something anymore. Just alter the timing next time. This doesn't count days where NOTHING works lol, y'know what i mean, just not a melee day sometimes lol

 

[crush]

sd's to loose a set is my most recent anger thing. I really don't get frustrated about missing a tech or something anymore. Just alter the timing next time. This doesn't count days where NOTHING works lol, y'know what i mean, just not a melee day sometimes lol

Yeah I definitely agree, Balls.

 

[Yung Mei]

the only thing that makes me rage is awkward as **** DI


aka, im always mad ;~;

 

[BeLia]

I nearly never get frustrated, because I just don't think when I play, there's no emotion at all, just all the informations i've gathered in the past thinking about my game for me.
The only times where I do is when I play for a long long time and I begin to get tired, thus playing lazy and missing a lot of stuff.

If you get too emo while playing it'll hurt you a lot. Play to learn until you know you can play to win.

 

[Soloist]

I like to set ridiculous standards for myself, to which most of them are not met. Thus, I become angry and want to kill everyone.

 

[Bing]

I get frustrated when I lose to people I feel I should be winning, especially when I lose because of a simple mistake. Ive been "Underachieving" for a awhile now, so my anger has been increasing for awhile now. Im not expecting Much at Apex, Im truly going to Support my friends, my country and to learn as much as I can :D

So for the record, All Fox,Falco and Marth mains, ill be hunting you down to some friendlies(if Possible) and even more so, tips

 

[Divinokage]

I used to have really high temper when I was a little kid, but I NEVER really get mad at anything anymore. The emotion virtually doesn't exist in me any longer. I'm not sure but what happened, but I guess my advice would be to tell yourself every time you're getting angry that it's only making things worse and try to force it down, and eventually the emotion will be less powerful towards you. Maybe. This coukd be horrible advice IDK lol

Well the way I used anger is force myself to break my bad habits because I've kept seeing the same situation happen to me over and over (And of course I got frustrated).. eventually I got tired of it as I kept noticing the same **** every time. I mean I made a mental note to change myself every time the situation happened (Which might of taken a million times) and slowly the habit faded. Anger is pretty good to change habits actually, it has a force to change.. just don't use it against yourself, it's absolutely pointless.. it'll bring you down rather than push you forward.

All these habits can be everything that has been said in this thread so far, imo.

 

[Rubyiris]

some times i really wanna break my controller
but those things are expensive and i love my controllers
i would never hit a woman

This is 2011, not the 18th century. If women want equal rights, by all means, hit them if justified. *Shrug.*

 

[the_CAM_factor]

just breathe and try to learn what is going wrong. its okay to get frustrated if things aren't working, but never to the extent that you dont enjoy the game. since no one knows "everything," every match should be treated as an opportunity to learn. million lessons in defeat and all that stuff

 

[darkatma]

I hate playing against people who rage in friendlies. Keep it in your head, they're just friendlies -_-

 

[Divinokage]

just breathe and try to learn what is going wrong. its okay to get frustrated if things aren't working, but never to the extent that you dont enjoy the game. since no one knows "everything," every match should be treated as an opportunity to learn. million lessons in defeat and all that stuff

Believe me, I enjoyed my frustrations, haha.

And more to come... Omg..

 

[Niko45]

I have developed a problem with this recently for some reason. I really hate getting so salty but I can't seem to help it.

 

[Divinokage]

Add some water, it dissolves the salt pretty well. Relax, peace in mind. =P

 

[S l o X]

I have developed a problem with this recently for some reason. I really hate getting so salty but I can't seem to help it.

just gotta four stock them twice in a row nick.

-

if you're getting too mad. stop playing and watch others play. honestly, when you don't wanna play / don't feel like playing it helps a LOT and makes you want to play. it definitely makes you happier too and all the things you were messing up before (most of the time) you won't mess up as much after.

it's pretty immaculate. also, remember that you can lose to and beat anyone. you can beat someone in 100% of the friendlies you play and lose in tournament (THE WORST FEELING OF ALL TIME SON) but brushing it off and saying good job etc. then learning from what you did wrong (underestimating them) will definitely help in the long run.

 

[King5280]

your playing a game for the gamecube. no need to rage lol.

 

[Krynxe]

your playing a game for the gamecube. no need to rage lol.

So on what consoles is raging justified on, then?

 

[King5280]

So on what consoles is raging justified on, then?

mostly threw in the GAMEcube bit to emphasis its a game and all. only game worth raging at is the game of life on the console of earth.
edit: unless than your an astronaut then you have extra console options.

 

[Divinokage]

You are incorrect, it's never good to rage. Use any rage to improve yourself, not to stop yourself from improving by getting blinded by it.

 

[King5280]

so if it can improve you wouldn't that make it inherently good in those situations?

 

[Divinokage]

Well that depends how you use it. It can be detrimental to your growth while it can propel you forward to reduce bad habits to ashes.

Example: You get owned quite often one game after the other and then you start getting frustrated with yourself and you start making excuses and then you focus only on those excuses and you aren't able to see anything else. You become blind with your anger because all you see is your character getting owned which is what I see often with people.

And then the way to break bad habits is using your anger towards understanding why you are getting owned. You make the mental habit of viewing what situation owns you the most and then you try not make that same mistake again, you drill your mind to stop doing it.. you force yourself to stop doing it because you are mad. You see?

 

[Sinji]

Put your fustrastion in this.

You will be the best in no time.

 

[King5280]

not arguing that. you said that its never good to rage and then you said it could be good. i agree with what your saying there.