Nelo Vergil
Smash Master
Link to original post: [drupal=1202]A public apology [/drupal]
The reason Im writing this blog is not for attention, or respect, or forgiveness.Im writing it so all of you, my friends understand me, our situation/relationships, and for me to face reality.Over the entire time Ive known my NeW friends, i got to know them very well.People who only just met me put their faith and trust in me, bonding with me out of the goodness of their hearts, and a sign of our friendships.But I "chose" not to do the same thing, spewing lies for attention, for sympathy...for my own sanity as well.Ever since an early age, I developed an unhealthy habbit of lying to a major degree, that telling the truth was not only difficult, but hurt me inside.I lied about my dead friends, being cheated on (though not betrayed), about my family, schooling, basically anything about me.I even lied about three suicide attempts, a truly pathetic thing to do, but i did it because of my mind state, and to advance my own goals.As time grew on, I hated myself more and more for it.
Any general caring, advice, comforting, etc; I showed to any of you was true, but I still betrayed your trusts regardless.Thats why from the bottem of my heart, I, Adam R. Smolley do apologize to all my friends and acquaintances.
Im am deeply sorry to you all, I dont ask for forgiveness, and you all, as well as any strangers can hate me for it.I just want u to all understand Im sorry, and I wont hide behind childhood, friends, family as a way to excuse my actions.I will face the responsibility and consequences for my actions, and even If you hate me for that, or any stress induced anger, just know that to me, all my NeW friends are still my friends, and important to me, and I promise to only be honest.Hopefully one day youll all trust me again, and will view me as a close important friend.
The reason Im writing this blog is not for attention, or respect, or forgiveness.Im writing it so all of you, my friends understand me, our situation/relationships, and for me to face reality.Over the entire time Ive known my NeW friends, i got to know them very well.People who only just met me put their faith and trust in me, bonding with me out of the goodness of their hearts, and a sign of our friendships.But I "chose" not to do the same thing, spewing lies for attention, for sympathy...for my own sanity as well.Ever since an early age, I developed an unhealthy habbit of lying to a major degree, that telling the truth was not only difficult, but hurt me inside.I lied about my dead friends, being cheated on (though not betrayed), about my family, schooling, basically anything about me.I even lied about three suicide attempts, a truly pathetic thing to do, but i did it because of my mind state, and to advance my own goals.As time grew on, I hated myself more and more for it.
Any general caring, advice, comforting, etc; I showed to any of you was true, but I still betrayed your trusts regardless.Thats why from the bottem of my heart, I, Adam R. Smolley do apologize to all my friends and acquaintances.
Im am deeply sorry to you all, I dont ask for forgiveness, and you all, as well as any strangers can hate me for it.I just want u to all understand Im sorry, and I wont hide behind childhood, friends, family as a way to excuse my actions.I will face the responsibility and consequences for my actions, and even If you hate me for that, or any stress induced anger, just know that to me, all my NeW friends are still my friends, and important to me, and I promise to only be honest.Hopefully one day youll all trust me again, and will view me as a close important friend.
