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You Laugh You Lose: Gentlemen's Club Edition

ZIO

ZIO

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Joined
Sep 14, 2006
Messages
10,884
Location
FREEDOM
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

YES!

Slap in the face to the twilight fans, I'm crazy enough to do it.
 
Tenki

Tenki

Smash Hero
Joined
Apr 3, 2008
Messages
6,966
Location
GA
http://aussie-nintendo.com/news/22790/
Japanese megahit dating sim Love Plus saw the launch of its (semi) follow-up yesterday - the cleverly named Love Plus+. Those playing through a downloaded ROM eventually discovered Konami's amusing form of piracy protection.

The game would act as normal for the most part, but attempts to ask one of the in-game girls out on a date would result in harsh rejection. On the off-chance of success, fragile e-boyfriends would quickly find themselves dumped. Anti-piracy checks prevent special events being triggered and lock each character's affection level, therefore the 'relationship' could never progress. 2ch message board users share their broken hearts.

"After 100 days she still won’t let me become her boyfriend. She completely ignores me and won’t send me any mail. The events aren’t happening either – brutal."

"I was dating her normally, but when I next restarted she was pissed at me! I can’t get her to like me, and she’s always annoyed at me… it’s the ultimate anti-piracy measure!"
Click to expand...
Get rejected irl.
Get rejected in game.

gg
 
Master Raven

Master Raven

Smash Master
Joined
Mar 25, 2008
Messages
3,491
Location
SFL
It's a website but it's so ****ing hilarious

http://www.dontevenreply.com/

edit: oh my ****ing god

http://www.dontevenreply.com/view.php?post=89

Hot Tub Repairman
Posted at: 2010-05-05 10:11:15
Original ad:
We are in need of someone who can fix our hot tub. If you know what you are doing, it is probably a fairly easy fix. The hot tub is about 11 years old and has a cracked pipe and a broken pipe. Also, some of the jets are not working (may be related to the pipe). We will pay for the parts. Please respond with an estimate for the cost of labor.

From Me to ********@**********.org:

Hello,

I am a certified hot tub repair technician and would be happy to help fix your hot tub. Please let me know if you are still looking for someone.

Thanks,

Mike

From Ellen ****** to Me:

Mike,

How much will you charge to fix it?

Ellen

From Me to Ellen ******:

Helen,

It seems like a simple fix, but it will be time consuming. I could charge you money, but I am more interested in barter, if you are willing to hear me out.

Mike

From Ellen ****** to Me:

Mike,

What are you looking to barter?

ELLEN

From Me to Ellen ******:

Helen,

All I want in return for fixing your hot tub is to let me use it occasionally when I am on a date.

I find it much easier to get chicks from the bar to come back to my place if I tell them I have a hot tub. The problem is, I live in a basement apartment and do not have a hot tub. Hot tubs are great for getting chicks drunk; something about drinking in a hot tub makes them get completely ****faced without even knowing it. I don't know the science behind it, but it is a proven fact that *****es get more drunk in a hot tub. Before you know it, these chicks are passed out drunk and ready to ****.

Don't worry, I won't need to use your house or anything when I get my **** on; I usually just bang them in the back of my truck and drop them off at a McDonalds.

So basically, in return for fixing your hot tub, all I ask is that you let me use it for 2-3 hours about four or five times a week.

Please let me know if this sounds fair to you.

Mike

From Ellen ****** to Me:

Absolutely not. Are you joking?

ELLEN

From Me to Ellen ******:

Helen,

Why not? I promise I won't pee in the hot tub. If I accidentally do, I promise I will add extra chlorine to balance out the urine levels. I won't **** in your hot tub either. If I have to take a ****, I'll do it in your bushes. **** makes for great fertilizer.

Please help me out here. I can't use the old hot tub I used to go to because I was informed that I would be arrested if I stepped foot on that property again. I assure you I will have your hot tub running like new once I fix it.

Mike

From Ellen ****** to Me:

The concern of you pissing in my hot tub didnt even cross my mind, but I'm just going to add that to the list of reasons why I am against this. Most importantly - I will not let some creep bring women back to my house to **** them in my hot tub!

From Me to Ellen ******:

Whoa there, who said anything about ****? This is purely consensual.

From Ellen ****** to Me:

You said you wait until they pass out to have sex with them!

From Me to Ellen ******:

In the state of Pennsylvania, the law states that if you can get the girl back to a hot tub, it is considered to be sexual consent.

Look Helen, I'm just trying to fix your hot tub. Not get a lecture on ethics. Do you want your hot tub fixed or not?

Mike

From Ellen ****** to Me:

Not by you, you creep! and my name is ELLEN not Helen, you ****!

From Me to Ellen ******:

My apologies, Ellen. I assumed you had made a typo when writing out your name. Now how about answering my question?

From Ellen ****** to Me:

Go **** yourself, loser.
 
o-Serin-o

o-Serin-o

I think 56 nights crazy
Joined
Jul 16, 2009
Messages
7,878
Location
Montgomery
master raven said:
edit: Oh my ****ing god

http://www.dontevenreply.com/view.php?post=89

hot tub repairman
posted at: 2010-05-05 10:11:15
original ad:
We are in need of someone who can fix our hot tub. If you know what you are doing, it is probably a fairly easy fix. The hot tub is about 11 years old and has a cracked pipe and a broken pipe. Also, some of the jets are not working (may be related to the pipe). We will pay for the parts. Please respond with an estimate for the cost of labor.

From me to ********@**********.org:

Hello,

i am a certified hot tub repair technician and would be happy to help fix your hot tub. Please let me know if you are still looking for someone.

Thanks,

mike

from ellen ****** to me:

Mike,

how much will you charge to fix it?

Ellen

from me to ellen ******:

Helen,

it seems like a simple fix, but it will be time consuming. I could charge you money, but i am more interested in barter, if you are willing to hear me out.

Mike

from ellen ****** to me:

Mike,

what are you looking to barter?

Ellen

from me to ellen ******:

Helen,

all i want in return for fixing your hot tub is to let me use it occasionally when i am on a date.

I find it much easier to get chicks from the bar to come back to my place if i tell them i have a hot tub. The problem is, i live in a basement apartment and do not have a hot tub. Hot tubs are great for getting chicks drunk; something about drinking in a hot tub makes them get completely ****faced without even knowing it. I don't know the science behind it, but it is a proven fact that *****es get more drunk in a hot tub. Before you know it, these chicks are passed out drunk and ready to ****.

Don't worry, i won't need to use your house or anything when i get my **** on; i usually just bang them in the back of my truck and drop them off at a mcdonalds.

So basically, in return for fixing your hot tub, all i ask is that you let me use it for 2-3 hours about four or five times a week.

Please let me know if this sounds fair to you.

Mike

from ellen ****** to me:

Absolutely not. Are you joking?

Ellen

from me to ellen ******:

Helen,

why not? I promise i won't pee in the hot tub. If i accidentally do, i promise i will add extra chlorine to balance out the urine levels. I won't **** in your hot tub either. If i have to take a ****, i'll do it in your bushes. **** makes for great fertilizer.

Please help me out here. I can't use the old hot tub i used to go to because i was informed that i would be arrested if i stepped foot on that property again. I assure you i will have your hot tub running like new once i fix it.

Mike

from ellen ****** to me:

The concern of you pissing in my hot tub didnt even cross my mind, but i'm just going to add that to the list of reasons why i am against this. Most importantly - i will not let some creep bring women back to my house to **** them in my hot tub!

From me to ellen ******:

Whoa there, who said anything about ****? This is purely consensual.

From ellen ****** to me:

You said you wait until they pass out to have sex with them!

From me to ellen ******:

In the state of pennsylvania, the law states that if you can get the girl back to a hot tub, it is considered to be sexual consent.

Look helen, i'm just trying to fix your hot tub. Not get a lecture on ethics. Do you want your hot tub fixed or not?

Mike

from ellen ****** to me:

Not by you, you creep! And my name is ellen not helen, you ****!

From me to ellen ******:

My apologies, ellen. I assumed you had made a typo when writing out your name. Now how about answering my question?

From ellen ****** to me:

Go **** yourself, loser.
Click to expand...
deeeeeeeeeeeeadddddddddddddd
 
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