You have a job. Go to School. Moms happy...but your not

[PolMex23]

This isn't no emo trip.
An its not a cry out for help.
Its me doing something Ive never done in my life.
That is, to talk about how I truly feel.
If you didn't know, talking about "it" is what psychiatrists get you to do as you pay them benjamins.
All the while your better off talking to your good friends (who have some sense I hope).

So, I recently got this job. I work for MIC(Mortgage Investors Corporation). Basically to sum it up, its like a grown up version of High School. But this time your a telemarketer (Assistant Loan Officer) and you sell government backed VA loans. Yea, fun.(btw, 500 a week. so its legit)

And it is. Hot girls, Cool people, an I fit in mad hard.

My mom is soo happy. My family has laxed. But my mind hasn't.

It just seems all I do now is still not enough.
I have obligations with my church that is almost impossible to fill because of my job now.
For some reason its still hard for me to find time to go see my father. I need to speak to him, an the more I put it away, the harder it becomes.
Mentally its hard to prep myself knowing im actually going to do school an work this fall since I work almost 50 hrs a week.(ive never done this before unlike some who did that throughout HS and on.)
My father.
I want to talk to my mom also, just chit chat, but Im afraid to do so untill I actually establish my self.
I demand a more fit, athletic body.
An I still suck balls with girls. But apparently I can't deny anymore about how good I look because more than half of the MIC women think im cute, handsome, sexy, or their husband(but they share xD) This is becoming a boost.

I just feel a little more then overwhelmed. I feel powerless.
Weak an feeble. Time flows with me always trailing behind.
Time breaks through my attempts of slowing it down.
Im to slow to keep up. To scared to run with it.

Its hard to be a man. Its hard to be a good person. A whole person, always striving for the best. To always improve, never settle.
Its so hard.

If anyone feels like I do well...I feel you. I know youll listen, because you know I will.

Love yall. I miss this community. An I miss the fun I got from smash. I truly cant wait to get back. I will in probably 2 months.

Hopefully I still have my job by then. An I fulfill my compromises with the Church. My body. An maybe I have a couple chicks im talking to. Better yet a girlfriend.
My father. My mother.
Myself.

As painful it is to be molded
The better the Joy
As the tears flow

 

[hungrybox]

hope to see you back sometime soon

 

[mercy]

So, you just started your job and it sounds like you're already burned out, in addition you plan to add a full-time college schedule to this load? Hmm...

Good luck.

 

[spider_sense]

Might wanna request a part time position for the job, but I don't wanna sound like I'm bossing you around in what you should do in your life. Anyways, I'm getting a cell mad soon, so I'll let you have it so you can hit me up. Also let me know when you're down SFL.

 

[GodMeowMix]

I would dump the church and girls, sounds like a waste of time.

 

[FRiSKruns]

eh, well I wouldn't be letting church take up my time, as for the body part, work hard, it's more or less worth it, not so much for attention as for self accomplishment, as for girls, I wouldn't be too persistent with them if you're already in a bind, it's hardly worth the effort unless you really really feel attracted to them, anywho, can't really ever complain about another brawler out there.

 

[SheerMadness]

Life is ****ing hard. Just know that there are a million of us out there that feel like you, overwhelmed.

I'm 23 and just graduated from UCF this month. My parents won't let me move home. Gotta find a real job and support myself. **** is scary.

Girls? You couldn't get any worse with girls than I was as little as a year or 2 ago. In fact, polmex, I remember you including me in some list of smashers who are good with girls a while back and literally laughed my *** off when I saw that.

I suffered from fairly severe social anxiety most of my life (extreme shyness) and I basically hid from all social interaction until I was about 19 or 20. Yes that included girls. I didn't even make out with a girl until I was ****ing 20. Yes you read that right, 20. I still suck with girls and I still struggle with social anxiety (though to a lesser extent as I've gotten better at dealing with both).

Anyway I just wanted to give you some perspective. We all deal with some hard crap in life and I think it makes it easier to know that you're not alone.

 

[Scidadle]

First things first.

Get a ****ing phone Mike jesus.

And yeah. School sucks I couldnt imagine having a job + school.

and i'm in HS

 

[Blea Gelo]

i dont know you petty well. but ill write because i just feel i have to

nothing you would like to be in the life would be easy. while more painful, better it's gonna be. i come from a country where everything is ****ed up, and people sell theyrself to survive with others money.
im not saying your problems are easy, or are stupid, because they arent. most of the problems in the society are mental problems, because human beeing does not have a stanrad point. we satisfy with what we have, or we satisfy with 1000 things we cant have at the moment. i rather the second one, but is never good to want more and think about how much you gonna suffer or how hard it is to get it. believe dude, i feel u.

no mater how bleak the situation is, u just cant give up. dont think of how much you will suffer gettint to the point you want to get. just get to the point somehow. this is what make us man.

there are only three ways to learn. 1.- knowing that what you are going to do is NOT ok
2.- seeing others experiences and learning from them
3.- learning from your own experience.


human beeing always try to go for the first one, but almost always hit itself with the third one. every mistake has it consecuences, better said. every action ahs it consecuences. so you just have to think of what do you want with your life at this momment, and no matter what just do it because no1 is gonna do it for you and i know that part u know it pretty well somehow.

every person is a single world, a single universe, wich every single person would react differently or likely other person, but never the same. We become man from what we have lived, from our experiences, and our personality. Thers no destiny, no visible future, no nothing. You just have to put hands up to everything you need to know and hands down for what you just donr care.

''what you dont have, you dont need it know''


some humans stand out on others, because they are good at what they are doing. if you don't do anything, you wont stand ount on no1. and thats the idea of every1 in the life, stand out on something that will make you happy, while happyer, more u'll stand out on others.

 

[Linguini]

^^^ michelo your pvssy is dripping, ill get you a towel for that...........

 

[Veggi]

I really don't have much advice because it seems like you're in a bind and I can't really offer you a solution. The best I can say is good luck. I think spending time calling your parents might be good for them because if you take the time to call just to chat over the phone it might be cute to them or something. Also, the internet can take up a lot of time, so if you typically make rounds around certain websites just cut them if you don't enjoy them much. Kind of like how I'm starting to cut out the Mario boards to save me time just because I never really enjoy myself there.

My advice isn't that great, so take it as you will, but if you ever want to have a DDR session to lose that fat with Beefy and I, I'm sure you would be welcome. XD

 

[#HBC | Scary]

Hey mike, when I get back to Tampa. We should chill and have a man to man chat. I'm sure I can set ya str8.

 

[yummynbeefy]

My advice isn't that great, so take it as you will, but if you ever want to have a DDR session to lose that fat with Beefy and I, I'm sure you would be welcome. XD

polmex and veggi are 2 of the many people that are welcome in my house anytime you guys want <3

 

[Veggi]

Polmex is so polite, I'm sure your mom would be perfectly fine having him over too. I just wish you didn't live like 45 minutes away! :angry:

Edit: I'm too stubborn to make it the correct smiley.

 

[PolMex23]

sheer an gleo.

Powerful it was to read what you two wrote. I appreciate the time you took.

An I took your words , heart to heart.

Emillio shut up xD. veggi ddr is a blast. when i can i will be up there wit the beef everyonce in a while. scid dont worry u need to shape up now before life hits u with an anvil.

Ed go easy on me. But sheer an gleo, thankyou. Its extemely powerful knowing im not alone sheer.

An gleo, this is what makes us man.

The day is somewhat brighter.

 

[Blea Gelo]

its gelo bro lol, its ok. dont worry

 

[PolMex23]

my b gelo xD
For real thank you
Polmex, Michal Kopij

 

[shaSLAM]

drop the church

all your problems will go away..

 

[OverLade]

If you ever wanna chill with the tampa crew, just know we will bring nothing but love (and sex) to ya bro.

And calling center jobs are great, I work at one myself and love it. Also you have a very poetic way of posting haha.

 

[mosesrko24]

the art of the pick up is a skill you develop. Hit on every person you find attractive and do not be afraid of

rejection or making a complete *** of yourself. If you do it enough and pay real close attention to what

you're doing, you'll eventually stop making an *** of yourself and get really good at it.

 

[Equi]

Pft. I'm at a community college right now with NO job. Literally there are no jobs around this area. It's weird. Tons of free time where I'm bored as ballz and I'd love to transfer to UCF. I hang out with my friends a lot, but I'm still bored as hell, none of them play smash. I just jam and play music with my friends these days, nothing else to do. Life is **** repetitive and redundant, we spend our lives eating, living, ****ing, and trying to survive in a battle of the survival of the fittest. Life is a mind**** with no answer or question, it's just a gigantic circle and we're skating on the thin ice of it.

I don't even see the meaning of life. At all. But does it make me depressed? No. Not really. Do I have times where I feel down and out? Of course. We all do. You're human. We all are. We're animals and society and our linguistics makes it more complicated than it seems. Alright now I'm philosophically ranting, gonna skate off to a easier to comprehend thread.

What do I do to keep myself sane? Work out. Constantly. Socialize. Although you're busy as fvck at the moment with your life and you feel cluttered, you should almost be thankful for it. Free time is overrated. I seriously thought a long time agp when was I was done with High School that all of the free time and lapses that you get when you get to college would be a godsend, but it's not, it just makes you wonder why school lied to you your whole life making life seem like this quest of get high school diploma, do this do that, degree, better and better but it's not, it's a bs lie. Trying to swallow that truth whole while simultaneously trying to discover your purpose (or the purpose of describing that our lives lack purpose) ain't fun either.

So all in all. With chicks you just gotta escalate man. You're saying you're getting IOIz (indicators of interest) but you're not escalating or closing them. It's just one more step up you gotta take. Be thankful you can get them at attracted at ease, some people can't even maintain a conversation with them because of social anxiety. I had to fight hard my whole life to become better with girls and people in general, and I made it out eventually. I'm by no means a pimp or a player, but I'm way better than I was 8 years ago or whatever. It's a game just like smash or anything else you keep going at it and you get better and better and your mindgames improve.

Do you work out at the gym? If not seriously do it. That and excercise or whatever. It's an amazing thing.

 

[spider_sense]

Pft. I'm at a community college right now with NO job. Literally there are no jobs around this area. It's weird. Tons of free time where I'm bored as ballz and I'd love to transfer to UCF. I hang out with my friends a lot, but I'm still bored as hell, none of them play smash. I just jam and play music with my friends these days, nothing else to do. Life is **** repetitive and redundant, we spend our lives eating, living, ****ing, and trying to survive in a battle of the survival of the fittest. Life is a mind**** with no answer or question, it's just a gigantic circle and we're skating on the thin ice of it.

I don't even see the meaning of life. At all. But does it make me depressed? No. Not really. Do I have times where I feel down and out? Of course. We all do. You're human. We all are. We're animals and society and our linguistics makes it more complicated than it seems. Alright now I'm philosophically ranting, gonna skate off to a easier to comprehend thread.

What do I do to keep myself sane? Work out. Constantly. Socialize. Although you're busy as fvck at the moment with your life and you feel cluttered, you should almost be thankful for it. Free time is overrated. I seriously thought a long time agp when was I was done with High School that all of the free time and lapses that you get when you get to college would be a godsend, but it's not, it just makes you wonder why school lied to you your whole life making life seem like this quest of get high school diploma, do this do that, degree, better and better but it's not, it's a bs lie. Trying to swallow that truth whole while simultaneously trying to discover your purpose (or the purpose of describing that our lives lack purpose) ain't fun either.

So all in all. With chicks you just gotta escalate man. You're saying you're getting IOIz (indicators of interest) but you're not escalating or closing them. It's just one more step up you gotta take. Be thankful you can get them at attracted at ease, some people can't even maintain a conversation with them because of social anxiety. I had to fight hard my whole life to become better with girls and people in general, and I made it out eventually. I'm by no means a pimp or a player, but I'm way better than I was 8 years ago or whatever. It's a game just like smash or anything else you keep going at it and you get better and better and your mindgames improve.

Do you work out at the gym? If not seriously do it. That and excercise or whatever. It's an amazing thing.

And he plays poker....what a real man!