What's the dumbest thing you've ever heard someone say about Smash?

[wheaty91]

"falco sucks, I can't combo anything and he doesn't have any killing move"

are you kidding me?????? now that is a funny one

 

[Opus_IX]

ahaha..wow...What character were you? And was your one move?

I'd guess Falco and Shine???

I decided that, to show to the UTMOST clarity that he was in fact no good, I had to be the same character he chose. It was the most beautiful battle between Good Doctor Mario and Evil Doctor Mario. Well, beautiful in the sense that good prevailed in the end.

 

[Blazey]

"I'm good to a point where I can beat a level 9 Bowser on Handicap 9 when I am at handicap 1 in which he can kill you in 1 hit most of the time and when your luckily, maybe 2 hits.

So I can quite easily say I am very good myself."

HI-larious. It was a post made on another forum so I'm not sure if I should make a reply to it or not. If I wasn't a mod there I would without a second thought, but ... ya know. =P

 

[DevilRoseFoxMcCloud]

" You ****** Fox is the worst charcter in the game Mewtwo would pwn him with ease."

 

[Brookman]

I'm pretty sure that this thread has listed EVERY possible combination of words that could ever come outof any given noobs mouth atleast 4 times by now.

 

[Aiser]

Lock....oh **** not a mod =[

 

[Brookman]

I don't really think it needs to be locked, though maybe it does, cause it seems like it's just a total spam haven.

to stay on topic, the other day someone said that cort was being "totally mean" because he spiked someone, that made me lawl.

 

[SipherothXIII]

I just finished talking to this guy on another forum. here's what he said.

"I used to play this game alot with my friends! It's an extremely fun game to play. It's even more fun to be 4 close friends and then play using only a keyboard and the mouse on a computer... that's hilarious XD

Sae that video Wound of the Wind... Was that really a top player playing? because to me it looks like a regular match, just with cheap *** tricks.

I never do the edge hog thingy(think you called it that) or continuosly slash at the edge... I let my opponent get back if he can. And i think grabbing is for sissies.

I consider myself an experienced player (not good, but not bad either) Could be cool to watch a SSBM tourney ^__^"

He get's even more ********.

But i would have to show u the whole conversation of what he said in order for u guys to understand what he's talking about.

 

[Hamsterpie]

"Faco and fox rock. Their side b and up b owns"

"It's not fair. Characters like roy and samus will always win. You need items to even the play out."

"Time is the ONLY way to play"

I came back to the last two by saying the only way to play was MLG rules. He stopped talking.

 

[fox386]

The dumbest thing I ever heard a n00b say was that wavedashing is a glitch. In fact, there is a whole thread dedicated to this topic.

 

[SipherothXIII]

Another Dumb thing the noob said

"Who would want to loose?
I won't win if the way i win suck... i'd rather loose, having fought honorably then to use petty tricks and win."

 

[falco freak]

heres mine
"..and who is this ken guy anyway i mean i think i could take him easily"
and then people tried explainin to him he couldnt
"i bet i could beat all of u losers"
(sorry if some1 already posted this one)

 

[falco freak]

OH OH i got another one
me and my friend were playin and i kept on edgehogging so he couldnt get back
so he goes "god that is so cheap"
me: "u can use it too so its not like i have and unfair advantage"
him: "yea it is unfair. who ever started doin that is ********"

OH and another
mewn and poon r not words so dont say them
him:ok pwn is a spelling mistake but im spelling poon right so there
me:but poon is just a spinoff of pwn so its equaly stupid
him:no that just makes it better

 

[2ndchance]

Ok i got one probably benn posted before though

the noob said he was soo good because he beat event 51 and wanted to beat the best player at ssbm. so i gave him the link to some of kens matches.

his reply: Okay, whatever, Ken is kinda lame. I mean, he repeats moves way too often, and after seeing him fight, I've already found a way to beat him. He also favours Marth, and I'm AWESOME against swordspeople.

 

[Tera253]

Tera thinks that the 'words' pwn and poon are crap, just say the actual words.She's also heard some 'n00b' (Tera assumes that is what one calls them here) say: "running away is the best technique!"
~Tera253~

 

[Zink]

It is, if you can't get hit you can't lose

 

[Freedawk]

You exit a match by pressing the reset button on the console!

 

[SipherothXIII]

So the douchbag noob lashed out at me.

"And you might think that a win is a win no matter how you do it. But i really don't care if i win or not as long it was fun playing...


And by cheap tricks i don't mean weird stages or items. I mean spamming a single move or edge tending.

If there were a character who could perform an instant death move... Would you use it?`I bet you would... But some people play games for the fun of it, using a move like that would end a match instantly, taking everything nice about it away..."

 

[Pure of Heart]

"Stop hitting me!!"
followed by:
"STOP COMBOING ME!!!"
....after that..
"......SOMEONE...HELP ME! KEEP HER AWAY!!!!!"

It was a funny night when that happened

 

[shinehex]

Stop cheating...and Ken is nothing special. I could beat him.--I love that ome

 

[Blight]

Oh, it gets better, Blight and annoying1359. He first blames it on the controller. So I said, "Ok, so maybe my controllers aren't in the best of conditions." We swapped controllers, and I still beat him. And he's like, "This is RIDICULOUS! How can you kill me at 35% (that was a Thunder Punch to Thunder Drop combo, coupled with the fact that he doesn't know meteor cancelling [yes, my main is Ganon...what gave it away?]) and I can't kill you at 135%?!?!?!?" He's still doing that repetitive up-b to up-b/forward aerial combo with the Doc. Anyway. He doesn't do pills, capes, tornado's, d/u/f smashes, or b/d/u-aerials. He sticks to those TWO moves, and he believes he should OWN. He blames his defeat on the controllers, and says, "I'll beat you next time when I bring mine in." Right-o.

So I begin to wonder, "How many victories will it take before he sees that:
a) he's just not that great,
b) it's not the controllers, the Gamecube (yes, he actually blamed the Cube for his defeat...MULTIPLE TIMES...this was when he brought his own controller in), or the character I chose, and that the reason for his defeat is simply his lack of skill or my "superior" skill ("superior" as in relative to his lack thereof)
c) grabbing does take skill to land (against a skillfull opponent), and that it's simply his fault for not evading the grab, and that grabbing is not a coward's move, and
d) simply because he's PLAYED THE GAME SINCE ITS RELEASE DATE (yes, he has played the game since its release date) does not automatically make him the Smash god?"

About 3 months, apparently.

So after a hard days work some weeks later, I came in to play a couple rounds with some friends, and guess who's there? That's right, he's back, and he's ITCHIN' for some Doc. Mario dittos. He sees me and says, "Are you SURE you want to play me? I've been kickin' some major *** today!" [insert maniacal laughter] (yes, he decided to laugh at that moment like a maniac). So I made him a deal. If he DOES indeed beat me into submission, I will become his slave for the rest of eternity. If he instead loses (I decided not say ownd, for this upcoming reason) to me while I only use ONE move (That's right, ONE MOVE!!! Which of course, excluded from it up-b for recovery) then he must suffer the consequences of being banned from the Gamecube for the rest of the month (I would've said year, but decided it was too harsh a sentence especially because he's just a n00b).

He seemed pleased at these rules. I even played him with his rules (the whole, 1 item per player, 40-stock, NO GRABBING, 2.0 damage ratio). I even decided to pick the SAME character. He had difficulty deciding who to be, seeing that in all the previous dittos we had, the outcome was always the same: It always ended with his defeat.

...

He was very angry at the end of the match. He didn't seem too pleased with my spotdodging. Or aerial dodging. ROLLING was even a surprise to him. I was surprised he even knew what the shield was. I even offered to teach him the ways of being a Smash Shinobi, but he told me that, "there's no way I should be winnning against him."

...

I like that feeling of serenity and overall happiness you get when someone that is uber annoying and anal decides to never hang out with you again.

Funniest. Story. Ever.

And what the ****, blaming it on the cube? LOL

 

[Caleb Wolfbrand]

what a pleasant story lol
ah, noobs. they're good for humor and making tourney pots bigger...

At Anime Weekend Atlanta's smash tourney this past year I knew Bobby Just1111 was coming so he was gonna win, and this one guy heard me say that and he's like OHHH don't be too sure. and I'm like "who are you?"
him : I'm the MARTH MASTERRR
me : Really. go to smashboards?
him : what?
me : Nothin. ever heard of Ken, 'Marth Master' he's probably the world's best Marth
him : Well he hasn't played me has he
me : Do you know how to wavedash?
him *completely ignores question* I'm the Marth Master and I'm going to win this tournament.
me : Yeah ok champ.

I actually have no clue what happened to him in the tourney I never saw him after that lol

 

[FireBomb]

Worst rules for a tourney (at school) by a noob organizer(who thinks he's a ninja):

-4player battle royal
-All stages are on
-Only one match at a time (on a very big screen...I like big screens)
-One life
-Don't be cheap (apparently, what he meant by not being cheap is not hanging on the ledges when someone is returning to the stage because "that's not fair". Anyone who does so would be disqulified right there.)

I can't believe I have to deal with being around that level of idiocy. The first 2 rules are ok for a school i suppose but the last 3...they can put better effort than that.

 

[phish-it]

Wow. That is truley terrible. Even noobs don't like rules like that.

 

[whitewulf]

this is what i heard when first played this person when he came to my friends b-day party, lmao, he was like
"OMG, how can you play pikachu?! its a f***ing pokemon, her attacks are slow and ********" and he even thinks that pikachu is a girl!

buwhahahahaha, i eat nubcakes

 

[the melon!!!!!]

Guy: "What? No, I don't need to shorthop! Cpt. Falcon is fine without it."

Me: "you honestly think that you can be amazing at Cpt. Falcon, better yet, every character without having to shorthop?"

Guy: "Yeah! Sure. Is it that important?"



He switched to Jigglypuff the next day. Couldn't take being four stocked every day. Poor soul.

 

[ToP CaT]

Me: how did that ken combo taste??
Him: Whaa??
Me: The forward airs to spike I just pulled
Him: Oh that, thats a waste of time- shield and forward smash are all you need
Me: Gotta say I thought it took more than that
Him: Nah just watch

End result--I 4-stocked him in under 2 minutes. (WhAt A nOoBlEt Of PaPeR)

 

[OnYourMark]

"Why do you always mash the C-Stick?"
"Hello... It's called Super Smash Bros., not Super L-Cancel Bros."

 

[Fitted Sheet Man]

I'm not sure if this is nubeish or just REALY dumb but i was playing with a freand and it was his first time playing he sayd "ha ha i beat you your realy stink at this game"and i sayd " you know i'm player 2 right" and he sayd "o.......****" i mean how n00b can you get he was kirby and i was dr.mario how do you forget who you are. also another good one is "items are so freaking cheap" lol veery funny

 

[woody72691]

this is like noobs say the darnest things.....

 

[HyruleBird]

At a local tourney(really ghey btw)

him: im going to **** you so bad !
me: umh whatever dude
Him: * choose Dk *
me: *choose Jigglypuff(not my main)
him: loll im gonna trash that little ball of yours
me: dont forget im da kung fu master (refering to the green bandana... )
*game start* i start dashdancing
him: Lol your such a noob
me:oh yeah
i start doing some short hop to Fair then as soon as i get the chance... oups i upgrab him and down b him in the air...
him:WTF you HAcker Wtf is taht move! HAcker
he pause the game and start asking for a rematch because JP is unfair....
I never laughed so much to a noob
anyway it ended up in a 4 stock with 3 ko whit down B


Ps:sry im french my englsih sucks sometime...

 

[§Maverick§]

* reads the above post *
LOL hahahahahah, good one!!! OMG what a n00b XD!!

 

[Caleb Wolfbrand]

rofl at "super L-cancel bros." and noobs say the darnest things

 

[shinehex]

This Thread Is So Funny It Should Be Stickied And Renamed "noobs Say The Darnest Thing"! Lol!

 

[Pure of Heart]

This Thread Is So Funny It Should Be Stickied And Renamed "noobs Say The Darnest Thing"! Lol!

I second that opinion! lol.

 

[§Maverick§]

I second that opinion! lol.

Me too LOL

 

[deadleather]

My friend isn't a n00b but he says funny n00b lines like when i ledgehog he says "Get off!!" and i laugh my *** off.

"I'll own you"
The guy couldn't even beat a level 5 computer.

"Samus sucks, super wavedashing is for *******" it kinda made me mad, because Samus is a character who is made to run and shoot projectiles, ya know?

 

[A-Laon]

*a noob playing as luigi kept doing his jab-jab-kick neutral over and over again*

"Look at my combo!"

 

[Bass.]

"Ew, you guys play on Final Destination?"

 

[§Maverick§]

A new one:
"you beat me because i don't play smash anymore" he plays everyday for about 2 hours!!! XD