The_Altrox's Brawl Tier of Manliness

[SexTornado]

Sorry to bring up marth again but anyone who wears a tiara ought to be called a fairy. Also, Ike is kinda cool/manly but anyone who says "I fight for my friends" Has to be at least semi-********. And the fact that they have hot girlfriends mean nothing, some girls like girly guys. There are a lot of hot lesbos out there.

 

[Ange]

Ike has a girlfriend/wife?

/DoesnotplayFE

I think he should get minus points for the "I fight for my friends" part. As far as I know, no manly characters fight for their friends or say they do.

The whole "How to play Brawl like a man" series is inaccurate.

 

[Pelikinesis]

The most manly thing about Ike is his Up Throw, where he slams his bigass sword into the ground so he can uppercut you with his bare hands.


But yes, although you'll get no sympathy from him, he DOES fight for his friends.

 

[Rain(ame)]

I'm sorry, but Inui proved Marth's Manliness already. Why? Because Marth is gay.

Inui: "Of course gay is manly. It's nothing but men! You can't get any manlier than that."

So sorry guys, Marth is manly.

 

[justaway12]

why is luigi manlier than mario, marios mouastace is better it's bushier, it's bigger and it's manlier.
I personally love luigi but have you even played luigis mansion i would be scared in a house full of ghosts to and probably run away but throughout the whole game he keeps saying "...mmarriio..." and mario has more experence I don't care if you like luigi better but you have to admit it's a fact

Also why can't you exept marths womanlyiness my sister mains him and she knows he's unmanly and even when the crowd starts cheering she keeps saying this http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=zDKcevMFUCo (just the first few second after 20 secs) she even has his game, we actually don't mind the tiara that much anyone who says princesses wear tiaras are wrong...they wear crowns but you can't deny his womanlyness not just his tiara but the way he walks, dolphin slash, dancing blade and everything else i'm sorry for raiseing it up again but i just have too BTW gayness isn't manliness or womanliness it's somebody relationionship with others nothing special enough to make you wo/manlier. you know some girls like girly men have ever even watched an anime?

 

[Rain(ame)]

O.o that...wasn't meant to be serious. This thread is full of LOL, so I just put something in there to gunk up the gears a bit. Take a look at the statement, because sadly, in a way, it's true. It's nothing BUT men. aka can't get manlier than nothing but men, xD.

 

[justaway12]

O.o that...wasn't meant to be serious. This thread is full of LOL, so I just put something in there to gunk up the gears a bit. Take a look at the statement, because sadly, in a way, it's true. It's nothing BUT men. aka can't get manlier than nothing but men, xD.

I also didn't mean to take it THAT seriously aswell I guess it's just the way I talk sometimes sorry

 

[Rain(ame)]

*shrugs* no biggie, xD. I love that statement because it's hilarious. I heard it at my first tournament and I couldn't stop laughing after that. Inui is a funny guy.

 

[Pelikinesis]

Luigi has an attack that involves him charging up, and then exploding. There's also a chance of a Misfire.

That's fairly phallic, if nothing else.

 

[The furosious robot has left]

You are just stupid. "brawl taunts 2" was a piece of crap and pit is so underrated. I hope he kills you in your sleep.

 

[Pelikinesis]

Thank goodness that wasn't totally uncalled for.

Seriously, I don't even know what that was supposed to be a response to, and in the context of a topic of opinions of an aspect of the game that has very little to do with the game itself, a flame war seems rather silly. There are more appropriate or better-suited topics to try to win the internet on.

 

[Sonic Phantom]

Are minions necessarily a detriment to manliness? If so, it's not just Bowser and D3's positions in danger of falling, but Ganondorf's as well (I haven't chosen a side, I'm simply laying out the consequences)

Dedede has Jet Hammer. I do agree with The_Altrox that hammers are pretty manly. And this one has machinery in it. Working on cars is pretty manly, and so is most other mechanical work involving gears and grease. Dedede has a hammer WITH mechanical stuff in it, which I think is something big going for him.

And his crouch position can be thought of as "Don't bother me, I'm watching the game" kinda pose. If Chauvinism = Manliness to some degree, it would be to his advantage.

You forgot to mention how when D3 charges his jet hammer it will begin to shock him while he is holding it, but does he let go when that happens? No, he will sit there and take the shocks like a man.

why is luigi manlier than mario, marios mustache is better it's bushier, it's bigger and it's manlier.
I personally love luigi but have you even played luigis mansion i would be scared in a house full of ghosts to and probably run away but throughout the whole game he keeps saying "...mmarriio..." and mario has more experence I don't care if you like luigi better but you have to admit it's a fact.

His is right there. In Mario & Luigi Partners in Time and Super Mario 64 DS, there are continual references to Mario having the best mustache while Luigi's mustache is considered the weakest of between Mario, Wario, and Luigi.

Mr. Game and Watch has a hammer, too.

yeah, Game and Watch wields two hammers his Dsmash and a hammer during Judgement. Not to mention that he handles dangerous animals like piranhas and snapping turtles.

 

[The_Altrox]

You are just stupid. "brawl taunts 2" was a piece of crap and pit is so underrated. I hope he kills you in your sleep.

Somebody sounds butt-hurt

 

[Ice!]

Actually, Pit is very manly, why? because he's a general like Olimar, and also (like Olimar) he have an unlimited supplies of soldiers who will die for him, lolz. Btw, he's younger than Olimar, I think.

 

[The_Altrox]

Actually, Pit is very manly, why? because he's a general like Olimar, and also (like Olimar) he have an unlimited supplies of soldiers who will die for him, lolz. Btw, he's younger than Olimar, I think.

Though you make a good point, he doesn't command them with much authority besides saying "GO DIE 4 ME!" Instead of Oli who would normally try to keep his men safe.
Besides, Oli has kids and a wife

 

[Pelikinesis]

I don't think much of Pit as a general.

All he tells to his men are things like "The Fight is On!!!" which is just stating the obvious, and "You're not Ready Yet!!!" which is simply discouraging.

 

[Ice!]

But Pit have Palutena, which I really think is better than Oli's wife.

 

[Zook]

EDIT: Never mind.

 

[Vorguen]

Altrox. You are just in denial that DK deserves spot #3.

 

[Johnny Pteran]

Captain Falcon needs to be higher. So does Ganondorf.

Mario's mustache is the manliest out of all the mustaches, he deserves better. He has a cape, which turns opponents around, for maximum embarassment of his foes. And, he throws fire at people.

Also, I have a comment on Marth. You say the tiara holds back his true manliness, but honestly, how do you explain the blue, girly haircut, the scream-like-a-girl death cry, the wimpy sword?

 

[Ice!]

Captain Falcon needs to be higher. So does Ganondorf.

Mario's mustache is the manliest out of all the mustaches, he deserves better. He has a cape, which turns opponents around, for maximum embarassment of his foes. And, he throws fire at people.

Also, I have a comment on Marth. You say the tiara holds back his true manliness, but honestly, how do you explain the blue, girly haircut, the scream-like-a-girl death cry, the wimpy sword?

Very true @ the Captain Ownage, he deserves better, plus he is even manlier than Norris.

 

[justaway12]

Altrox. You are just in denial that DK deserves spot #3.

even though I don't agree with mario postion being so low if he replaces the top 3 with donkey kong that just wouldn't be right even though he is a gorilla with gaint arms, ike can defeat I army of men.

 

[Vorguen]

He is number one already...

I think DK deserves spot three. Look at my post above to see why exactly DK is manlier than anyone except Captain Falcon and Snake.

 

[Ange]

Marth does not scream like a girl.
Just go to the sound test and listen. Its true man voice.

By having a shorter sword just shows that hes more of a man when he tippers with the it, since its harder to do so.

I think Bowser and Ganondorf deserves higher placements tho. Both of them can take an opponent and suicide with them, and Bowser even crushes them with his own body.

I think people already have explained Ganondorf.

 

[Vorguen]

I disagree on Donkey's position. He should be number 3. How is Wario manlier than Donkey? Donkey is a GORILLA, which is proven to be stronger than anywhere from 8-15 men. Wario Ganon and Ike which are ahead of him... all men.

Now Lucario, yes, he has aura, but let's not forget what he is. A pokemon. Pokemon are never manly. They are cute, they fit in pokeballs, but they are not manly. No, not even Gyarados.

The only reason he isn't one is because to be honest, nothing is manlier than Captain Falcon, unless you are Chuck Norris himself. And Snake has explosives.

Charizard is the manliest of all Pokemon, but in the end he is nothing more than a Pokemon, in no way shape or form manlier than Donkey Kong.

Donkey Kong has Kong, which comes from King Kong, the manliest ape of all time. If you don't remember how manly King Kong was, watch the Peter Jackson King Kong movie and watch how King Kong annihilates three T-Rex's at the same time.


Here is a link to the video for proof of King Kong and Donkey Kong's complete manliness:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qt2Q4BB8nRg

(sorry in advance for that guy's crappy editing in his video)


Now King Dedede? I'm sorry, he is a Penguin. Cute and cuddly is the antithesis of Manly. Want to prove my point? Get on King Dedede, and hold down on the control stick to duck. Point made.

Now, Donkey Kong's only REAL competition for rank 3 is Bowser.

Let's look at their pro's and con's for manliness meter.

Donkey Kong:


pros:
1) a Gorilla
2) Enormous and Muscular
3) he can Donkey Punch (This argument can be repeated infinite amount of times because it is the most win)
4) Wears a tie with his name on it. That is MANLY.
5) Bangs his chest
6) Kills people accidently while swatting flies. (f-smash, u-smash)
7) Defeated King K. Rool
8) Was the protagonist of many games, unlike Bowser, who was defeated in many games
9) He has three spikes.
10) He can breathe underwater (Donkey Kong Country underwater stages)
11) Descendant of King Kong himself.
12) He can Donkey Punch

cons:
1) none



Bowser:

pros:
1) big spikey shell (probably overcompensating because he isn't THAT manly)
2) he can breathe fire (respectable... yes respectable)
3) Mario's worst enemy
4) Likes to kidnap princesses
5) His suicide is pretty win.

cons:
1) Rumor has it he is just a Ninja Turtle cast-off that went bitter and tried to take over mushroom kingdom as his vengeance to the world.
2) He never REALLY gets the princess
3) Mario has defeated him plenty of times. That's not manly.
4) He's slow. Manly people are NOT slow. Look at Captain Falcon for more info.
5) He has too many subordinates. Donkey Kong is a man of action. He gets things done HIMSELF.
6) Bowser relies too much on his sharp claws, his spikey shell, and his fire to do things. It takes real MANLINESS to get things done with your fists. Like Donkey Kong.




Enough said.


Donkey Kong for position number 3!!!!!

Dedede is a Penguin. He is a King of the land where Waddle Dee's and Kirby are from. It is all cute beyond belief. Dedede is not manly.

Using your fists is manlier than using a Hammer, or arguably about the same. Dedede has plenty of minions, which do him no service either as his manliness is lost when he doesn't do things himself. Dedede has also been defeated by Kirby in the past. By Kirby, a cute round fluffball that spits out cute little stars.

Dedede's crouch isn't manly. "Don't bother me, I'm watching the game" is not manly. True manly people don't watch the game, they participate.


Did I forget to mention Dedede is a Penguin?







PS: Seriously did you not watch the video against the three T-Rex's?

Donkey Kong is the manliest character in the game minus Captain Falcon and Snake.

Watch this video if you don't believe me (ignore the bad editing on it)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qt2Q4BB8nRg

 

[The furosious robot has left]

Also, I have a comment on Marth. You say the tiara holds back his true manliness, but honestly, how do you explain the blue, girly haircut, the scream-like-a-girl death cry, the wimpy sword?

Ike has blue hair aswell, His death cry sounds much like captain falcon's, and sharpness>size.

 

[BowserPower119]

your view on pit is too steriotypical.
Not to say that pit is Great, But there are less manly characters in the roster.

 

[sosolid2kk]

your view on pit is too steriotypical.
Not to say that pit is Great, But there are less manly characters in the roster.

he also has 2 daggers that can be used as a bow, which IMO, is better than a hammer.

 

[The furosious robot has left]

Look at my post above to see why exactly DK is manlier than anyone except Captain Falcon and Snake.

ninjaw'd ftw

 

[Vorguen]

Pit says "The fight is on!"

If you pick the black outfit he looks emo.

His magic arrow is uber girly.

He is an angel, and has magic blue wings.

Pit needs to be three tiers lower with three empty tiers ahead of him.

 

[The furosious robot has left]

Pit says "The fight is on!"

If you pick the black outfit he looks emo.

His magic arrow is uber girly.

He is an angel, and has magic blue wings.

Pit needs to be three tiers lower with three empty tiers ahead of him.

haters....

 

[justaway12]

I just realized why are Peach, Zelda, ZSS and Nana in the ALMOST womanly teir.
Aren't they woman?

@vorguen: The fight is on! Isn't womanly it's just annoying.

 

[Vorguen]

LOL, gender has no regards on manliness. Samus should be higher.

 

[justaway12]

I think peach should be bottom even though she has bob-ombs most of the time they're turnips with a childish smile and let's not forget peach bomber, up-tilt, her final smash and la-la-la-la-la-la (I love that taunt ) you have to admit she is the girliest

 

[Vorguen]

Peach can be second to last. She is still more manly than Pit.

 

[justaway12]

Peach can be second to last. She is still more manly than Pit.

Angels aren't unmanly the only thing different about human and angels are wings which isn't anything girly just the abilty to fly.

 

[The furosious robot has left]

The only angel - human difference is wings. Think wings are womanly?

 

[Pelikinesis]

I don't find Sephiroth all that manly, really. The reason being that with such an obscenely long sword as the Masamune, the guy is clearly overcompensating. Immensely.

 

[Teran]

The only angel - human difference is wings. Think wings are womanly?

That guy is manly?

*facepalm*

I guess times have changed

The Rock Says
Look ma no wings!!! = Manly

 

[justaway12]

Just because angels are noramlly peace-loving, kind and look girly doesn't mean you should instintly see one and think they are unmanly.