The Unhappy Thread

[PsychoIncarnate]

My 30th birthday is coming up later this month and I feel I'm nowhere near where I'm supposed to be at 30.

I'm kind of more down than usual, trying to figure out what actually matters in life.

When your single at 30 living in mediocrity when you know you could do more.

 

[Yonder]

Tried to apply for a health care worker job; one of the two out of my friends that applied that didn't get it.

Finally decided to get the courage to call my family doctor to get antidepressants today...oh, turns out I haven't gone to her in over two years so I have to find a new one. (Can walk in clinics prescribe them? I hear both yes and no from Google search..I really, really need them. Therapy alone is not enough.)

And icing to the cake I tweaked my lower back again.

Can. ANYTHING. EVER. Go RIGHT in my life?!?? *******!!!!!

Oh! I met a cute girl at a smash tourney 2 weeks ago. We talked a decent amount after i started off the convo, no one else was talking to her, so why not? Eventually, She decided to give me her Facebook instead of her number (to which I saw her texting plentiful. Fair enough) I go and add her...and she decides to never accept me.

Having fun watching me squirm up there oh whatever deceitful deity resides?

 

[Kritzkrieg]

(Removed for "uncertainty" reasons)

 

[Yonder]

Good know see this place is quiet, it means people are too busy to be sad .

That's not me though.

Anyways, I decided to start a novel based on depression through the 1st person perspective. It is based off my life, in some aspects. I almost teared up after writing the first chapter, so maybe my writing will have some impact...

Wish I could say more about it, but I may actually want to see this novel go places one say if I can gather the motivation in my dreary state to finish this. I'm pretty sure like a fanfic, once you post it on the web, it has no chance of publication...so the rest I'll leave a secret.

My life stick stinks though so back to the rut for now.

 

[MewtwoMaster2002]

For some reason I am sad that a high school classmate I wanted to be friends with apparently blocked me on Facebook years ago, and I just assumed he didn't have a Facebook account. There have been other classmates who blocked me on Facebook, but I could never figure out why they'd go out of the way to block me when I'm not even doing anything to them. :/

Doesn't help that I didn't fit in with any groups...

 

[CitrusJelly]

I edited this message out because I was so edgy 3 years ago, hot damn.

 

[LeifEriksson]

*insert salt about how bayonetta is stupid*

 

[PsychoIncarnate]

I think I figured out what's wrong with me.

I've let my dreams die. Because I wasn't good enough, etc.

I'm not living with any kind of goal or passion. I'm just trying to survive day by day. And everyone around me is encouraging me to do just that.

I'm not really sure what I should do about that. But I need to do something because I'm getting bored of life. Not that I wanna die...

 

[LeifEriksson]

I think I figured out what's wrong with me.

I've let my dreams die. Because I wasn't good enough, etc.

I'm not living with any kind of goal or passion. I'm just trying to survive day by day. And everyone around me is encouraging me to do just that.

I'm not really sure what I should do about that. But I need to do something because I'm getting bored of life. Not that I wanna die...

Live for the good moments in life. The moments that are set apart from the daily grind and just make you happy.

At least that's what I do.

 

[PsychoIncarnate]

Live for the good moments in life. The moments that are set apart from the daily grind and just make you happy.

At least that's what I do.

To me, the things I usually look forward to are getting boring. And good moments hardly come when your life is just sleeping and working with nothing in between.

 

[LeifEriksson]

when your life is just sleeping and working with nothing in between.

So you sleep, then go to work, then back you sleeping? I have a hard time believing that, because you post on smashboards and most likely play smash as well. Sorry if this sounds harsh but:
Get a social life. If you are depressed, playing smash won't make you feel better about your overall life. Instead, go hang out with some friends. Do something you've never done before. Go skydiving, run a marathon, I don't care. Something you've never done before has to be a little bit exciting, right?

Then again, I may be jumping to conclusions. What do I know, I'm just another guy who plays smash.

 

[Nah]

I am getting very tired of the repeated conversation I have with my mother about my life. Not that there's much of a conversation really, since I don't say much whenever she brings it up.

I have no ****ing idea what I want to do with myself. I hate my current job, but I can't imagine myself enjoying any sort of job really. Not like I'd get hired anywhere else. I'm not good at or for anything, I have zero accomplishments. My degree is not really of much use. I went to college for geology, and have a Bachelor's in that, and it's not exactly a high-demand field, but I just have no interest in it anymore. Or perhaps I never had any real interest in it to begin with; I kind just rushed into college because I didn't know what else to do and my parents certainly weren't taking no for an answer. Only reason I have a job right now at all is because employment is so ****ed up in this world that you get a job because you know someone and not because of the reasons that should actually matter (my mother works for the local board of education as a long-term sub, so then I can get other basic board of ed related jobs because of that). And since I don't "know" anyone else, how the hell am I supposed to get another job? Maybe for some bizarre reason if I apply somewhere else I'd get the job, but why bother? I doubt I'd get something that pays more than my current job, and I really need a livable income so I can finally move the **** out. And I'd just hate whatever gruntwork **** I'd get anyway (it's not like I could get anything else). I want a reason to wake up in the morning, not dread a big part of my day everyday of my life for who knows how long. Going back to college is not an option since it's so ****ing expensive in the U.S. and I certainly can't pay for it by myself (can't have my parents do it since they already did that once and now have to pay for my two younger sisters) because lol $11.75/hr wage, not to mention I haven't even the slightest idea what I'd wanna go back for. I also don't exactly like driving and the thought of driving to unfamiliar places makes me hella anxious too.

I suppose I could tell my mother all this, but what would be the point?

fml

 

[MewtwoMaster2002]

I am getting very tired of the repeated conversation I have with my mother about my life. Not that there's much of a conversation really, since I don't say much whenever she brings it up.

I have no ****ing idea what I want to do with myself. I hate my current job, but I can't imagine myself enjoying any sort of job really. Not like I'd get hired anywhere else. I'm not good at or for anything, I have zero accomplishments. My degree is not really of much use. I went to college for geology, and have a Bachelor's in that, and it's not exactly a high-demand field, but I just have no interest in it anymore. Or perhaps I never had any real interest in it to begin with; I kind just rushed into college because I didn't know what else to do and my parents certainly weren't taking no for an answer. Only reason I have a job right now at all is because employment is so ****ed up in this world that you get a job because you know someone and not because of the reasons that should actually matter (my mother works for the local board of education as a long-term sub, so then I can get other basic board of ed related jobs because of that). And since I don't "know" anyone else, how the hell am I supposed to get another job? Maybe for some bizarre reason if I apply somewhere else I'd get the job, but why bother? I doubt I'd get something that pays more than my current job, and I really need a livable income so I can finally move the **** out. And I'd just hate whatever gruntwork **** I'd get anyway (it's not like I could get anything else). I want a reason to wake up in the morning, not dread a big part of my day everyday of my life for who knows how long. Going back to college is not an option since it's so ****ing expensive in the U.S. and I certainly can't pay for it by myself (can't have my parents do it since they already did that once and now have to pay for my two younger sisters) because lol $11.75/hr wage, not to mention I haven't even the slightest idea what I'd wanna go back for. I also don't exactly like driving and the thought of driving to unfamiliar places makes me hella anxious too.

I suppose I could tell my mother all this, but what would be the point?

fml

I know that feeling. I graduated with a film and media studies major. Currently doing a QA job which makes $18/hr but my mom complains that it's too little...parents pressured me into joining the military as an officer. I somehow managed to get accepted, so I'll be starting training next month. :|

 

[PsychoIncarnate]

I know that feeling. I graduated with a film and media studies major. Currently doing a QA job which makes $18/hr but my mom complains that it's too little...parents pressured me into joining the military as an officer. I somehow managed to get accepted, so I'll be starting training next month. :|

I graduated with a similar degree and I make $11 an hour at Walmart. I wish I had a job that paid that much

Of course, all I have is an AAS+ by "Graduated"

 

[MewtwoMaster2002]

I graduated with a similar degree and I make $11 an hour at Walmart. I wish I had a job that paid that much

Of course, all I have is an AAS+ by "Graduated"

Yeah, when you live in the Silicon Valley, everything is expensive. Housing especially. I just got lucky that I had a very loose connection that helped me get the job...Currently I stay at some friends' house on weekdays for the commute to work, then spend my weekends at home. Otherwise it would cost a lot just to find my own apartment and actually pay rent and all that stuff. My friends share a house with four bedrooms between the four of them. Each of them pay about $1,000 a month, and that's before utilities. Since I'm kind of just staying in an upstairs living room on weekdays for this month until I leave for the military, I don't have to pay as much.

My parents actually told me that I could no longer use the family car to commute to work and would have to pay rent to live at home on the weekends if I decided not to go to the military, and that was kind of the final push for me to make that decision to go. Granted, it would probably save a lot more money that way, and I get a lot of benefits. I've just been unhappy I was kind of forced into changing my lifestyle...

 

[Haydossy]

Steven Universe's on a hiatus.

 

[PsychoIncarnate]

There is this girl at work I seem to exchange glances with occasionally, whatever that means. I've already seen that's she's with someone though. Whatever the exact status of their relationship is, could very well be married, I'm not exactly sure.

Maybe she's just looking because she thinks I'm going to look at her, although at least half the time I only look because I see her looking toward me. Or it's just all in my head. I kind of run into her on accident.

I'm actually trying to avoid her now that I know she's unavailable. I've found her attractive for quite a while though

 

[AnchorTea]

I cant handle life anymore.

 

[DragonBlade64]

I hate living in a social-obsessed society. Is it really that hard for people to shut up and leave me alone for once in awhile? (People that I'm constantly around, not anyone on here, of course)

 

[LeviathanHadouken]

Steven Universe's on a hiatus.

THIS GUY GETS IT.

 

[LeifEriksson]

I hate living in a social-obsessed society. Is it really that hard for people to shut up and leave me alone for once in awhile? (People that I'm constantly around, not anyone on here, of course)

I don't know how you normally tell people to stop talking to you, but being polite and saying "Sorry, I don't want to talk" can get most people off your back.

 

[Kritzkrieg]

Being near other people is very intimate for me. I hate interacting with people in the real world. If I could, I would stay inside all day without any human interaction whatsoever. Going out in public is a real challenge, because seeing everyone makes me judge myself for what I have, what I am, and what I've done. It is sort of like thought-based self harm. I'm not like him. I'm not like him either. Can't do what he does. Can't do what anyone does. Just seeing people triggers this slightly. This gives me headaches sometimes. It is very stressful for me, and its gets in the way of things I do or try to do.

 

[eltoroguaco]

Oh happy day! I got home after an exam I felt I didn't really do well enough with to see I got a mail telling me the TV series I've been waiting for more info on playing in has decided to cast someone else because they "wanted to go a different direction". I've put all my plans on that series! Now I need to reorganize the entire year.

 

[Substitution]

I don't want to go into too much detail, but I've been a wreck lately. It feels like my life has hit a snag that I can't get over.
My health problems have been bogging me down, one of my parents has been in and out of the hospital lately and still not feeling better, my social life might as well be nonexistent, and honestly it feels like at times I get up in the morning just for the sake of waking up.

It's getting to the point where I wonder why I even bother anymore.

 

[Galm]

If I want my life back on track I need to convince myself that life is worth living and find some source of motivation. My life situation is fairly good, but I don't like myself and am very stubborn in putting work ahead of my well-being. It's frustrating. Also I think it may be affecting my smash performance since I treat it more like a job than recreation.

 

[Soggy Milk]

When talking to girls on facebook I feel like they are judging me a lot harsher than talking to them IRL

Because I can't see or feel their emotions and don't know how to react properly

...Although even IRL I'm not too good at talking to people

Thats a self-confidence issue homie! It's really tough being comfortable talking to other people if you aren't comfortable with yourself. I mean, I might be wrong, but when I feel like other people are judging me its usually more me judging myself. If you like yourself and who you are you shouldn't have to worry about reacting properly. Just be yourself and you should be fine because being yourself is dope. Girls appreciate when you act yourself anyway.

Just please don't feel like you have to constantly revise and rewrite how you interact with other people for fear that they might not like who you really are. You're a baller and you know it and people who will become your true friends will notice.

 

[Pega-pony Princess]

Guess who just got fired today. This girl. Guess who spent over half an hour crying. This gal.

 

[MewtwoMaster2002]

Guess who just got fired today. This girl. Guess who spent over half an hour crying. This gal.

What was your job?

 

[Pega-pony Princess]

What was your job?

I was carry out at one of my town's grocery stores. Faced shelves, mopped aisles, stuff like that. It was my first job too. Less than 6 months on the job. It's my fault. I messed up my schedule of when I worked again and ended up missing two work days. I had thought I was supposed to work this upcoming Sunday, but nope. My boss called me this morning, but I didn't call her until this afternoon because I thought everything was okay. She said that she needed someone to depend on, and I blew it. I don't know who to blame. Myself or the medication I'm taking. Maybe both.

 

[MewtwoMaster2002]

I was carry out at one of my town's grocery stores. Faced shelves, mopped aisles, stuff like that. It was my first job too. Less than 6 months on the job. It's my fault. I messed up my schedule of when I worked again and ended up missing two work days. I had thought I was supposed to work this upcoming Sunday, but nope. My boss called me this morning, but I didn't call her until this afternoon because I thought everything was okay. She said that she needed someone to depend on, and I blew it. I don't know who to blame. Myself or the medication I'm taking. Maybe both.

Sad. Hopefully it's a learning experience for future jobs.

 

[Creo]

I was carry out at one of my town's grocery stores. Faced shelves, mopped aisles, stuff like that. It was my first job too. Less than 6 months on the job. It's my fault. I messed up my schedule of when I worked again and ended up missing two work days. I had thought I was supposed to work this upcoming Sunday, but nope. My boss called me this morning, but I didn't call her until this afternoon because I thought everything was okay. She said that she needed someone to depend on, and I blew it. I don't know who to blame. Myself or the medication I'm taking. Maybe both.

It definitely sucks, and I'm not going to tell you not to be sad or what-have-you for the time being, but. . . Just always keep in mind that we all inevitably make mistakes at times. It's an obvious statement, really, but it happens! Don't get too down on yourself in the days to come, girl. With any good 'fortune', you'll come across another job soon enough.

On another note, I've been pretty down and depressed myself lately (past few months haven't been favorable), but. . . Irresponsible as it may come off or seem, I've really decided to put more focus on my own self; Quit my job, stopped seeing / talking to a lot of (I.E. most) people that I just find unnecessary, and overall just started to really focus on my personal lifestyle(s), hobbies, and activities. I know that right now, I'm not where I need to be, and that I'm not incredibly stable and whatever in terms of living situations, but. . . I really, truly believe in living not only as myself, but pursuing "myself" as well, in which I mean (specifics aside, because I'm personal) with what I love doing, how I enable myself to 'enjoy' living, etc. . . I suppose you could say I'm almost betting on myself in a way, but I feel like, at least as I currently speak, I'm okay with that. It's not as if I have a great track record with my past and whatever, but I believe in myself more than anyone else, that much I am certain of, and whether this changes or not down the line (weeks, months, etc.), I feel like there's nothing stopping me from being great right now, except maybe for myself (depression and whatever). . . I know the dedication and discipline is there, and I want to see where I could go with it. Anyway, just kind of wanted to vent that out to someone / anyone. Ha ha.

 

[Ghostly ~]

I honestly wasn't sure if confessing to my family that I drop my college class because I wasn't motivated enough to study was a good idea.

It was too late for me to fix it (plus waste two years of doing something pointless and money losses from my mom) and my family end up got mad at me. I was bothered by their words "I really don't know what to do with you".

 

[Whiz]

I made the mistake of uploading some of my original drawings to a website. I won't be repeating that one.

I just love it when people passively insult me and downvote my work. It feels great. It definitely doesn't lower my confidence or make me wonder why I even bother. Nope, I'm very happy with my reception!

Seriously, I knew my art wasn't that good, I knew it was garbage, but I liked it, because it's some of the best I've ever drawn, but people just spit on it like it's trash after I worked hard on it. Why can't people just be nice to each other? Everybody has to start somewhere, or are great artists like Leonardo da Vinci or Ludwigvon Beethoven just born with magical abilities to make great works? No, they practiced and worked their way up, that's what. Excuse me for trying to do the same. Excuse me for showing my work before it was some amazing work of art to rival a holy vision. Next time I'll go back into the past to put a spell on myself from birth or something so I don't have to work to get good first.

I guess I shouldn't have expected encouragement. Heck no, I shouldn't have. That would mean people being kind.

Whoo, what a rant.

 

[The Stoopid Unikorn]

I made the mistake of uploading some of my original drawings to a website. I won't be repeating that one.

I just love it when people passively insult me and downvote my work. It feels great. It definitely doesn't lower my confidence or make me wonder why I even bother. Nope, I'm very happy with my reception!

Seriously, I knew my art wasn't that good, I knew it was garbage, but I liked it, because it's some of the best I've ever drawn, but people just spit on it like it's trash after I worked hard on it. Why can't people just be nice to each other? Everybody has to start somewhere, or are great artists like Leonardo da Vinci or Ludwigvon Beethoven just born with magical abilities to make great works? No, they practiced and worked their way up, that's what. Excuse me for trying to do the same. Excuse me for showing my work before it was some amazing work of art to rival a holy vision. Next time I'll go back into the past to put a spell on myself from birth or something so I don't have to work to get good first.

I guess I shouldn't have expected encouragement. Heck no, I shouldn't have. That would mean people being kind.

Whoo, what a rant.

That sucks.

I'm sure they're not that bad...

 

[Aife]

I haven't been here in a while but;

I screwed up pretty hard with some of my homework just recently and unless dark sorcery with my teacher being nice happens I will probably be retaking a class and not reaching my intended goal and overall having to take a gigantic detour in my life. If the screw up had been because of a test score I could accept it, or if it was because of a tough paper i could accept it, but this (a misinterpreted due date due to assumptions based on due dates in most of my other classes)? My god I'm so pissed at myself and its taking my mood down to the gutter...I kind of just want the answer from my teacher if I can get out of this or not because the anxiety is killing me. At least i'll know whether or not I've royally screwed myself and can start trying to deal with ti.

I've been steadily (mostly at least) improving my overall work ethic, focus, and just GPA in general since a year ago. But I'm far from perfect and my screw ups from the first two years of college are really starting to become appearant. My new level of competence just isn't enough, I've become above average or good at dealing with school, and i need to be great-->to perfect in order to cover for my previous screw ups. It weighs down on me hard, and makes doing things that i already have trouble doing even harder.

And then we've got the whole other side of this, which relates to my anxieties about being trans, and just...well just everything else. I'm way to into "what ifing" and end up spoiling my mood (which would help me get things done quicker and more efficiently) from just thinking to damn hard. I need to take it slow, as I've learned the hard way 6 months ago, but my preferenced speed for thinking and learning ends up wildly varied day to day. It's hard, and the more I think the less motivated I feel.

just a rant i guess. I haven't been here in a while.

 

[Scarlet Knight]

I made the mistake of uploading some of my original drawings to a website. I won't be repeating that one.

I just love it when people passively insult me and downvote my work. It feels great. It definitely doesn't lower my confidence or make me wonder why I even bother. Nope, I'm very happy with my reception!

Seriously, I knew my art wasn't that good, I knew it was garbage, but I liked it, because it's some of the best I've ever drawn, but people just spit on it like it's trash after I worked hard on it. Why can't people just be nice to each other? Everybody has to start somewhere, or are great artists like Leonardo da Vinci or Ludwigvon Beethoven just born with magical abilities to make great works? No, they practiced and worked their way up, that's what. Excuse me for trying to do the same. Excuse me for showing my work before it was some amazing work of art to rival a holy vision. Next time I'll go back into the past to put a spell on myself from birth or something so I don't have to work to get good first.

I guess I shouldn't have expected encouragement. Heck no, I shouldn't have. That would mean people being kind.

Whoo, what a rant.

Obviously, some people just don't understand...
I used to be able to draw stuff like this

but then I injured my right hand,,, now it's hurts just to draw a stick figure lol

 

[AnchorTea]

Im such a goddamn burden to everyone.

 

[ScrapHeap]

I was actually gonna come here to complain about my dolphin emulator not working, but literally everyone here has problems bigger than mine.

 

[Foxus]

Are people avoiding me on this forum? Not to say I have no life, and hang around this forum all day, but I'm asking questions and it seems I'm never getting replies.

 

[LeifEriksson]

Are people avoiding me on this forum? Not to say I have no life, and hang around this forum all day, but I'm asking questions and it seems I'm never getting replies.

I don't think people would avoid you for no reason, maybe they don't know how to respond to your post.