oh random fyi; I'm done and all just waiting to consult with M3D & the mystery guest judge whenever they're done 
-
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The Super Powers Writing Contest
- Thread starter M3D
- Start date
Wait wait wait... "mystery guest judge"? I wasn't aware that there would be a third, unnamed judge. I wouldn't ever have entered if I'd known about this
oh god please not S***
LET THE JUDGING COMMENCE! </caps>
So our mystery judge is going to deliver scores tomorrow, so stay tuned for critiques and winners then.
By the way, if you entered but didn't make it in time for the deadline, please feel free to post your story anyways! If you send me a PM about it, I promise to critique and score it, even though you won't be eligible to "win the contest." It's still a fun exercise and I love reading the entries. So post 'em up!
By the way, if you entered but didn't make it in time for the deadline, please feel free to post your story anyways! If you send me a PM about it, I promise to critique and score it, even though you won't be eligible to "win the contest." It's still a fun exercise and I love reading the entries. So post 'em up!
Don't worry, y'all. I'm almost done with the mystery guest scores.
That's not funny, S***
That's it. I'm judging yours first.
Is the name S*** really censored in this room or are you guys doing this on purpose?
It automatically censors, just like when you post your SWF password :/
Whoa, does your password really get censored when you post it?
justinbieber4752
Did it work guys?
Only if you type your social security number after it without any spaces.
Hey guys, Gideon is almost done with the mystery judge scores, should be ready soon.
Hey guys, Gideon is almost done with the mystery judge scores, should be ready soon.
KrazyGlue
Smash Champion
Ok, I actually want to test this: S***
EDIT: Bah! Liars!
Anyways, hyped for the results!
EDIT2: Edited out the last 3 letters for public safety.
EDIT: Bah! Liars!
Anyways, hyped for the results!
EDIT2: Edited out the last 3 letters for public safety.
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Infracted for censor dodging.
KrazyGlue
Smash Champion
Yeah, sorry, I'm a vandal. I'll go edit for public safety.
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So have we gotten a letter of demands from Firus's kidnappers yet?
Maybe one of his fingers so we know he's alive?
Maybe one of his fingers so we know he's alive?
Well since me & M3D have been done for a while, I guess I'll give our spoiler scores for people waiting since Firus like died or something.
Only look at if you want spoilers!
[collapse=Scores Preview!]M3D Scores:
Goldie (17/40)
KrazyGlue (22/40)
Glyph (23/40)
Scav (31/40) *Not an actual contestant*
EE (34/40)
Xiivi Scores:
The Jacks Five (27/40)
The Outkasts (30/40)
The Collective (34/40)
Birds of Prey (34/40) *Not an actual contestant*
The International Office of War Crime Investigation (36/40)
[/collapse]
Don't take these as indicative as final standings, but they probably will be! I'm sending a PM to Firus telling him he has 24 hours to relay his scores or they will not be counted towards judging! Afterwords whether he relays them or not, M3D & I will post the full break-down with comments!
Only look at if you want spoilers!
[collapse=Scores Preview!]M3D Scores:
Goldie (17/40)
KrazyGlue (22/40)
Glyph (23/40)
Scav (31/40) *Not an actual contestant*
EE (34/40)
Xiivi Scores:
The Jacks Five (27/40)
The Outkasts (30/40)
The Collective (34/40)
Birds of Prey (34/40) *Not an actual contestant*
The International Office of War Crime Investigation (36/40)
[/collapse]
Don't take these as indicative as final standings, but they probably will be! I'm sending a PM to Firus telling him he has 24 hours to relay his scores or they will not be counted towards judging! Afterwords whether he relays them or not, M3D & I will post the full break-down with comments!
KrazyGlue
Smash Champion
Yeah, I felt like I had rushed my writing a bit. Seems fair to me. Won't spoil anything...
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So full results up tomorrow then?
Tonight technically? Or I guess it'd be really early tomorrow. The timestamp is 1:34am today for me.
Ok... I'm not waiting anymore. My scores have been done for a week. According to Xiivi, I'm the mean judge, the Simon, if you will. So don't get too mad at my comments if you feel like I'm too mean. Xiivi will come be the Randy and be all nice to you guys in a few minutes, officially tally the scores and declare our winners. Without further adieu, my scores:
KrazyGlue (22/40)
Team Construction (6/10)
While you didn’t have the easiest powers to mesh together, you didn’t find a solid methodology that somehow brought them all together. You called them superheroes and depicted them in action, but you ignored the opportunity to make them more centered on investigations, rather than action. This would have been a more appropriate way to tie all the characters you created together, especially given their variety of ages and effectiveness in a battle.
Creativity (5/10)
I liked that you didn’t make all your champions middle-aged mangods or spunky teens with attitude. There was a variety of personalities and backgrounds here. Unfortunately you didn’t do a great job conjuring powers. They just seemed to spring from the character traits of each individual, so you missed an opportunity to subvert genre tropes by having a power that might be completely opposite the interests and personality of a character.
Writing Quality (5/10)
There were quite a few awkward sentences and obvious mistakes that should have been picked up with a little bit of proof-reading. You also had a few weak explanations and missing details, like the ending where Flint reappears in NY on drug charges. That was a little confusing. The story about catching the big bad in action was also a little weak. However, it wasn’t all bad. You were mostly very clear and I could follow the stories of all the characters pretty well.
Enjoyment (6/10)
You were really held back by sticking to genre tropes and failing to explain HOW all these Outkasts got together. They just “get” their powers and then they just “meet each other” and start working together. There was really something missing in the justification that failed to tie it all together for me and make me care about this team. Not terrible, but if I was a comic book publisher I would definitely pass on this proposal.
Evil Eye (34/40)
Team Construction (9/10)
A really great team comp here, except for one member: Terra. While the other members of the team make a great deal of sense in this setting, Terra’s recruitment doesn’t mesh well with her powers. Why would someone with digging powers be so important that a secret organization would aggressively recruit a very public and very rich individual to their team? In a world with so many powered people, surely there would be someone else out there better worth that kind of attention and risk. For these powers, I would have preferred to see someone kinda tacked on as a default, like an already trusted ally. But overall, this was great.
Creativity (8/10)
I really liked the justification for your team. The willingness to make the US government the real bad guy, the international composition of the team and the private letter serving as the justification were really nice touches. However, I felt like you didn’t take any chances in creating your characters and while insanely powerful, your big bad was pretty bland.
Writing Quality (9/10)
Simply put, the writing quality was really high here. There were not many mistakes, everything was clear and you did a good job of pulling me into the story and the universe you were crafting, despite having a small word limit. You lose just one point because there were a few dense sections to read and because its hard for me to award a 10!
Enjoyment (8/10)
I was SO sold on this being a 10/10 story until I got to your big bad. YAWN! I got a sense of the “Emperor Joker” storyline in there, with nonsense behavior and near omnipotence attached to a character that was brutal and terrifying, but it didn’t mesh very well with the rest of the story. Someone this powerful didn’t need to be monitored by a war crimes investigation unit. The entire world needed to come together to find a way to stop this guy. So I was really into it until the very end and then I got left a little disappointed. Maybe if you had pulled back the scope of his powers and made him one of the mercenaries, it would have all tied together better and you wouldn’t have lost those two points.
Scav (31/40)
Team Construction (9/10)
Nearly flawless team construction. I really liked that the justification for the random gathering of powers was that they had all washed out of a training program. It gave the randomness a sense of purpose. The relationships you built up between them really helped make the team feel cohesive too. I loved the Nick Fury feel of the Old Bird. The diamond skin guy was the only thing that dragged it down.
Creativity (8/10)
I felt like there were some really strong characters in here but I didn’t feel surprised by anyone in particular. Isn’t it a bit obvious to make the prehensile hair character a woman? You missed a chance to subvert a genre trope with that one!
Writing Quality (5/10)
The prompt said your justification needed to be 1000 words or less. You wrote over 1600 spread out between all the profiles! Great writing but you didn’t follow the prompt so your score gets PUNISHED!
Enjoyment (9/10)
My favorite of the bunch, even though you cheated. I’m taking one point away because you made me have to think about you breaking the rules, but overall I would love to see this story completed. Can they ever catch The Gray?
Glyph (23/40)
Team Construction (6/10)
I know the powers were random, but that didn’t mean the team needed to be either. According to Unit’s bio, there are a lot of heroes out there, so why did this diverse group of people come together to form a team? What bonds them? Just the threat of Absolution? If so, where are the rest of the heroes in this universe? There is a nice sense of diversity here, but you didn’t nail the construction part.
Creativity (6/10)
There are a few fun characters here. I enjoy that Ping! seems to be a misunderstood joke. That’s not something I’ve seen before. However, the old man going out in a blaze of glory is straight out of a Clint Eastwood film and some of the origins just weren’t very interesting.
Writing Quality (6/10)
The quality here varied depending on what you were writing. I felt like you did a much better job with your justification than you did your profiles. Maybe the short-form writing of the profiles threw you off, but you got more comfortable when you were able to tackle the prose? Learn to write well even if you have to write very little. That skill will take you VERY far in life.
Enjoyment (5/10)
Much like Evil Eye’s entry, I felt like this one really fell apart when we came to the big bad. An unstoppable monster that is destroying entire cities in a world full of superheroes probably isn’t going to be tackled by a bunch of misfits lead by a partially insane robot-man. The whole world, including the military, would be actively trying to contain this guy. Try to make the threat match the calibur of your team and you’d have a much stronger entry!
GoldShadow (17/40)
Team Construction (3/10)
I… uh… I didn’t get this one. The powers were random but you didn’t seem to find a way to make the fit together or even a reason beyond the “hand of God” government plan for them to be together. I did like that Dr. Solo’s powers were the antithesis of the big bads… but boy is that boring considering the absorption powers of Major Clay.
Creativity (3/10)
So I felt like the word “average” and its synonyms appeared a lot in your descriptions. There were a lot of dead parents/loved ones, and although its true that the car accident is the natural predator of those that spawn super-powered individuals, it felt a really unoriginal. Now, considering that the government was behind the creation of these powers, maybe there’s a reason for all the dead loved ones, but you didn’t take the opportunity to play on the genre trope with that detail. You just rehashed it. Also, a black boxer from the inner city raised by his Gramma who talks in slang? REALLY? Son, I am disappoint.
Writing Quality (6/10)
Fortunately, you could write clearly and you did give me a story to follow, even if it wasn’t particularly original. I could tell most of what was going on and I saw the set-up for future adventures. I wasn’t a fan of the “just as we planned” escape ending, but you did well making me feel like something bigger and more sinister was going on, so points for that!
Enjoyment (5/10)
I actually started having fun counting all the genre tropes you trotted out and used off-the-shelf without even trying to subvert them. I can tell you didn’t take the time to review the tvtropes website I linked to and I think it might really help you if you ever try to work within a genre like this again. Action/adventure stuff has a lot of really tired old tropes that either have to be used perfectly to grab the audience (see films like: Gladiator and Avatar) or subverted/reinforced cleverly to catch the readers off-guard (see: Kick-*** and Watchmen). I did enjoy your justification on its own, but again, play with the tropes. Don’t just use them blindly!
OK... Xiivi can come be the good cop now. Thanks to everyone who participated. I hope you guys learned something, whether you completed the contest or not. I had fun reading all the entries and I hope you did as well!
KrazyGlue (22/40)
Team Construction (6/10)
While you didn’t have the easiest powers to mesh together, you didn’t find a solid methodology that somehow brought them all together. You called them superheroes and depicted them in action, but you ignored the opportunity to make them more centered on investigations, rather than action. This would have been a more appropriate way to tie all the characters you created together, especially given their variety of ages and effectiveness in a battle.
Creativity (5/10)
I liked that you didn’t make all your champions middle-aged mangods or spunky teens with attitude. There was a variety of personalities and backgrounds here. Unfortunately you didn’t do a great job conjuring powers. They just seemed to spring from the character traits of each individual, so you missed an opportunity to subvert genre tropes by having a power that might be completely opposite the interests and personality of a character.
Writing Quality (5/10)
There were quite a few awkward sentences and obvious mistakes that should have been picked up with a little bit of proof-reading. You also had a few weak explanations and missing details, like the ending where Flint reappears in NY on drug charges. That was a little confusing. The story about catching the big bad in action was also a little weak. However, it wasn’t all bad. You were mostly very clear and I could follow the stories of all the characters pretty well.
Enjoyment (6/10)
You were really held back by sticking to genre tropes and failing to explain HOW all these Outkasts got together. They just “get” their powers and then they just “meet each other” and start working together. There was really something missing in the justification that failed to tie it all together for me and make me care about this team. Not terrible, but if I was a comic book publisher I would definitely pass on this proposal.
Evil Eye (34/40)
Team Construction (9/10)
A really great team comp here, except for one member: Terra. While the other members of the team make a great deal of sense in this setting, Terra’s recruitment doesn’t mesh well with her powers. Why would someone with digging powers be so important that a secret organization would aggressively recruit a very public and very rich individual to their team? In a world with so many powered people, surely there would be someone else out there better worth that kind of attention and risk. For these powers, I would have preferred to see someone kinda tacked on as a default, like an already trusted ally. But overall, this was great.
Creativity (8/10)
I really liked the justification for your team. The willingness to make the US government the real bad guy, the international composition of the team and the private letter serving as the justification were really nice touches. However, I felt like you didn’t take any chances in creating your characters and while insanely powerful, your big bad was pretty bland.
Writing Quality (9/10)
Simply put, the writing quality was really high here. There were not many mistakes, everything was clear and you did a good job of pulling me into the story and the universe you were crafting, despite having a small word limit. You lose just one point because there were a few dense sections to read and because its hard for me to award a 10!
Enjoyment (8/10)
I was SO sold on this being a 10/10 story until I got to your big bad. YAWN! I got a sense of the “Emperor Joker” storyline in there, with nonsense behavior and near omnipotence attached to a character that was brutal and terrifying, but it didn’t mesh very well with the rest of the story. Someone this powerful didn’t need to be monitored by a war crimes investigation unit. The entire world needed to come together to find a way to stop this guy. So I was really into it until the very end and then I got left a little disappointed. Maybe if you had pulled back the scope of his powers and made him one of the mercenaries, it would have all tied together better and you wouldn’t have lost those two points.
Scav (31/40)
Team Construction (9/10)
Nearly flawless team construction. I really liked that the justification for the random gathering of powers was that they had all washed out of a training program. It gave the randomness a sense of purpose. The relationships you built up between them really helped make the team feel cohesive too. I loved the Nick Fury feel of the Old Bird. The diamond skin guy was the only thing that dragged it down.
Creativity (8/10)
I felt like there were some really strong characters in here but I didn’t feel surprised by anyone in particular. Isn’t it a bit obvious to make the prehensile hair character a woman? You missed a chance to subvert a genre trope with that one!
Writing Quality (5/10)
The prompt said your justification needed to be 1000 words or less. You wrote over 1600 spread out between all the profiles! Great writing but you didn’t follow the prompt so your score gets PUNISHED!
Enjoyment (9/10)
My favorite of the bunch, even though you cheated. I’m taking one point away because you made me have to think about you breaking the rules, but overall I would love to see this story completed. Can they ever catch The Gray?
Glyph (23/40)
Team Construction (6/10)
I know the powers were random, but that didn’t mean the team needed to be either. According to Unit’s bio, there are a lot of heroes out there, so why did this diverse group of people come together to form a team? What bonds them? Just the threat of Absolution? If so, where are the rest of the heroes in this universe? There is a nice sense of diversity here, but you didn’t nail the construction part.
Creativity (6/10)
There are a few fun characters here. I enjoy that Ping! seems to be a misunderstood joke. That’s not something I’ve seen before. However, the old man going out in a blaze of glory is straight out of a Clint Eastwood film and some of the origins just weren’t very interesting.
Writing Quality (6/10)
The quality here varied depending on what you were writing. I felt like you did a much better job with your justification than you did your profiles. Maybe the short-form writing of the profiles threw you off, but you got more comfortable when you were able to tackle the prose? Learn to write well even if you have to write very little. That skill will take you VERY far in life.
Enjoyment (5/10)
Much like Evil Eye’s entry, I felt like this one really fell apart when we came to the big bad. An unstoppable monster that is destroying entire cities in a world full of superheroes probably isn’t going to be tackled by a bunch of misfits lead by a partially insane robot-man. The whole world, including the military, would be actively trying to contain this guy. Try to make the threat match the calibur of your team and you’d have a much stronger entry!
GoldShadow (17/40)
Team Construction (3/10)
I… uh… I didn’t get this one. The powers were random but you didn’t seem to find a way to make the fit together or even a reason beyond the “hand of God” government plan for them to be together. I did like that Dr. Solo’s powers were the antithesis of the big bads… but boy is that boring considering the absorption powers of Major Clay.
Creativity (3/10)
So I felt like the word “average” and its synonyms appeared a lot in your descriptions. There were a lot of dead parents/loved ones, and although its true that the car accident is the natural predator of those that spawn super-powered individuals, it felt a really unoriginal. Now, considering that the government was behind the creation of these powers, maybe there’s a reason for all the dead loved ones, but you didn’t take the opportunity to play on the genre trope with that detail. You just rehashed it. Also, a black boxer from the inner city raised by his Gramma who talks in slang? REALLY? Son, I am disappoint.
Writing Quality (6/10)
Fortunately, you could write clearly and you did give me a story to follow, even if it wasn’t particularly original. I could tell most of what was going on and I saw the set-up for future adventures. I wasn’t a fan of the “just as we planned” escape ending, but you did well making me feel like something bigger and more sinister was going on, so points for that!
Enjoyment (5/10)
I actually started having fun counting all the genre tropes you trotted out and used off-the-shelf without even trying to subvert them. I can tell you didn’t take the time to review the tvtropes website I linked to and I think it might really help you if you ever try to work within a genre like this again. Action/adventure stuff has a lot of really tired old tropes that either have to be used perfectly to grab the audience (see films like: Gladiator and Avatar) or subverted/reinforced cleverly to catch the readers off-guard (see: Kick-*** and Watchmen). I did enjoy your justification on its own, but again, play with the tropes. Don’t just use them blindly!
OK... Xiivi can come be the good cop now. Thanks to everyone who participated. I hope you guys learned something, whether you completed the contest or not. I had fun reading all the entries and I hope you did as well!
KrazyGlue
Smash Champion
Cool, thanks for the advice. I would agree with a lot of the things you said. In fact, I even predicted some of them. So yeah, I agree pretty much. It was one of those things where I had a lot of fun doing the character bios, but it felt like it was getting worse as I went along, and then ended up as something I didn't really like. I thought my bios were pretty good, but yeah my story/justification was pretty weak.
Oh, also congrats to EE.
Oh, also congrats to EE.
Code:
The Jacks Five The Collective The International Office of War Crime Investigation The Outkasts Birds of Prey
Team Construction 6 9 8 8 10
Creativity 7 8 8 7 8
Writing Quality 6 7 10 7 8
Enjoyment 8 10 10 8 8
Total 27 34 36 30 34Team Construction - 6 - My first concern is why they would be basing their team name off of their real names as opposed to their code names. I didn't like that. Next the team didn't seem to be constructed to match the big bad; instead it was more of: here's a big bad, here's the leader who counters the big bad; everyone else is there to use the random generated power they got.
Creativity - 7 - Your big bad and your main hero clashing against one another was really polarizing and uncreative when looking at all of the characters as a whole. The other characters were fine though.
Writing Quality - 6 - By the time I got to your third character and saw 'A *insert skin colour & gender* of average height' I got bored. There wasn't anything in the descriptions that made your writing too impressive, seemed overly redundant.
Enjoyment - 8 - I enjoyed the story, but the character profiles bogged me down some.
The Outkasts - 30
Team Construction - 8 -I liked that you tried to add a sort of balance/cohesiveness to the team by showing how losing one member could really tear them apart. However you seemed to try to justify their cohesiveness based on some type of formula for needing this many attackers, etc... rather than them really being a solid team.
Creativity - 7 - You fell into some cliches here, especially with the nerdy guy. It just seemed too-too for him and for Virgil. I did like what you did with your intial character and Rasa though.
Writing Quality - 7 - Your writing quality in the justification portion really was lacking. It seemed just like a relatively simple story following a relatively simple pattern. The writing quality in the bios was good though.
Enjoyment - 8 - I enjoyed your bios a lot more than the actual story afterwords.
Birds of Prey - 34
Team Construction - 10 - You had the best team construction out of all the entries. I really felt you genuinely tried to use the powers assigned for you and actually bring them together and justify them as a full team, done to the code names. The team functions well.
Creativity - 8 - Where you succeeded in team construction, you ended up losing in creativity. While they all went together well, I can't remember anything particularly stand-out about any of them.
Writing Quality - 8 - The writing was done well in the story, albeit a bit too focused on dialogue at points, and the bios were done well.
Enjoyment - 8 - While I enjoyed your story and the team as a whole, I lost any enjoyment from any individual character repeatability.
The Collective - 34
Team Construction - 9 - I really like the individuality you gave each character in this team. I can actually remember them for who they are. I also like the bonds you mention that help to tie them together into actually wanting to be on a team with each other. So props for that.
Creativity - 8 - Your villian was really boring/uncreative. The team itself was awesome, but you sort of lost it at the end there. I did like how you used the journal format though.
Writing Quality - 7 - I felt bad taking off points here, considering you did this entry in such a short time, but I have to be honest: the writing is rushed. Some things you seemed to drill in there too many times, such as Ping!'s and Whisper's personalities. Other things seemed to just go nowhere: pretty much everything about Unit 3000-21.
Enjoyment - 10 - I enjoyed this entry a lot and most of that was from the characters; I also enjoyed reading the story in journal entry format.
The International Office of War Crime Investigation - 36
Team Construction - 8 - The way the team was assembled was great. Loved how you went about it and it seemed like a very realistic (in said fictional world of course) premise for how they would have all been brought together. Everyone made sense for the task at hand. However once I got to the villian, I was simply lost at how all of them together were actually going to do something against that. There was a large disconnect here.
Creativity - 8 - The world the characters themselves were in wasn't all that creative, while the characters themselves were. I enjoyed the backdrops you put for them, however once again by the time I got to the villain there seemed to be a loss of creativity.
Writing Quality - 10 - Really good writing style you employed here. The way you wrote the profiles made them an integral part of the read rather than just a list of facts to skip over and your writing in the letter seemed very sincere.
Enjoyment - 10 - I won't lie, from the title of your team I walked into your story expecting things to be unnecessarily complicating and bogged down. Luckily that was not the case and this ended up being my favourite entry. I simply loved the way you formatted this and it had me hooked/interested.
FINAL RANKINGS:
DEAD LAST LOSERS: Everyone who didn't do their entry or judge the entires (F****).
Non-Scoring (but really a score of 32.5): Birds of Prey by Scav
4th: TheJacksFive by GoldShadow (22 points)
3rd: The OutKasts by KrazyGlue (26 points)
2nd: The Collective by Glyph (28.5 points)
1st: The International Office of War Crime Investigation by Evil Eye (36 points)
Okay, I just wanted to publicly apologize for flaking out on the judging as I did...I was working on judging the entries, albeit a little slowly, and then I got unexpectedly flooded with work and didn't have time to do anything with the judging (or anything besides work, really). Had I seen it coming, I would've refrained from committing to being a judge, and I feel really terrible about just sort of...disappearing on you guys. Not that you necessarily needed me, but I did commit and didn't follow through, and I'm sorry about that.
If it's any consolation, I found all of your stories to be interesting and enjoyable to read. Sorry again for not following through and holding up the judging. =/
If it's any consolation, I found all of your stories to be interesting and enjoyable to read. Sorry again for not following through and holding up the judging. =/
Oh also all topics are opened since judging is over, so others can feel free to put their input for the authors if they choose!
I don't really like to post in regard to my own stories and explain things that I'd rather leave up to the reader, but since this is a contest, I feel I need to defend myself. Note that I've mostly only quoted M3D but this is a general thing for all readers/judges.
Conveniently an orphan (character’s parents happen to die, leaving him free to do what he or she wants)
Deceased parents are the best. (character’s parents die, but they were good parents, and this has an influence on the character for the rest of his or her life; the parents continue to play a role in the story or plot or character’s life)
Death by origin story (somebody close to the character dies, inspiring the character to pursue justice/revenge/etc… think Bruce Wayne/Batman, **** Grayson/Robin, The Punisher, Peter Parker/Spiderman)
Orphan’s ordeal (the plot focuses on the difficulties faced by an orphaned character)
None of these apply to my story. Dr. Solo had both parents. His sister’s death from cancer prompted him to become a cancer researcher, but this has nothing to do with him getting superpowers or becoming a “superhero” (term used loosely) or becoming part of a group.
Mrs. Roboto had both parents and grew up well off. Side note: Subverts the applicable “rich kid” tropes as she’s pretty normal as far as all indications in my entry go (Rich *****, Rich Idiot With No Day Job, Rich In Dollars Poor In Sense, Spoiled Brat, Socialite, Spoiled Brat, Spoiled Sweet, Upper Class Twit), except for one: Non Idle Rich, and even that one is technically subverted because the vast majority of “non idle rich” are men (Thomas Wayne, Tony Stark, etc). My character is a woman. A woman who is really good at math (compare to Reed Richards/Mr. Fantastic, Tony Stark, Bruce Banner, etc., all men).
Freeze Frame was raised by a grandparent (which does reinforce the Raised by grandparents trope), but there’s no indication that not having parents drove him to do anything different. None of his actions can be explained by the dead parents thing.
Tigress’s parents die, but a) subverts Raised by grandparents because she’s raised by her aunt and uncle, who both live and b) there is no indication that the death of her parents had any effect on her gaining powers or finding out she has them.
Fast Pass is an interesting one because his parents die, he gets adopted by good parents, and then they die too. A second chance at life, taken away. Does a double-take on a common trope subvert the trope? I’d say yes, to some extent. More importantly, he gets passed around foster homes but this is not the focus of the story (subverts/avoids Orphan’s ordeal) and again, there is no indication that the death of his parents had anything to do with him gaining or using his powers. In fact, his parents are never mentioned again. There’s no indication in my description that he’s been inspired by their death, or that he thinks about them, or that he wants to find out who they are, etc. Also, he subverts the heartwarming orphan, evil orphan, enfant terrible because he a) is definitely not heartwarming, b) acts out like a teenager but is by no means “evil”, and c) not a psychopath, which is the definition of enfant terrible. He’s just a regular, neutral guy with an attitude; he finds out about his powers and he doesn’t become a villain or a hero. He just uses his powers to fend for himself, to steal but only what he needs (this leaves room for some moral ambiguity).
What I was going for here was to subvert and mock the “dead parents” tropes that are omnipresent in superhero comics. None of the dead parents had any effect on the children as far as inspiration or superpowers go! This is why I didn’t suggest the government plot could have been involved in their deaths, then that would given the impression (whether false or true) that their parents’ deaths did have something to do with making them who they are. I was going for the opposite effect to subvert that trope.
Also, I’m not entirely clear on what you’re getting at with Freeze Frame, the black fighter (not boxer!)? Are you saying it’s a) stereotypical or b) racist? There are a lot of poor, inner-city neighborhoods around the country. In a lot of the families in these neighborhoods, the parents are absent (usually the father). Some of these neighborhoods are Asian, some are white, some Hispanic, some black, some native American, etc. Would it really have made a difference what color I made the character? Fundamentally, no; he would’ve walked, talked, and done the same things. I made him black, knowing I was walking a precarious tightrope, because I was kind of hoping to play off the reader’s own stereotypes. When most people, off the top of their heads, imagine a well-built black street fighter raised in an inner city neighborhood, they probably think of him as unfriendly, aloof, intimidating. But when we get to the story/narrative, it turns out he’s a pretty sociable, even goofy, guy (ie, he fights for a living but he’s not such a bad guy). However, I can understand if this didn’t show through and my choice came off as questionable.
Also, Dr. Solo subverts a number of tropes. Though he’s a scientist, he is the opposite of a Science Hero or an Omnidisciplinary scientist. He’s a good guy with a doctorate, not the usual Dr. Doom, Dr. Octopus, Dr. Evil, Dr. No, Dr. Zaius, Dr. Hannibal Lecter, Dr. Jekyll, etc. He’s not the same as heroes with a doctorate, like Reed Richards who goes by Mr. Fantastic, or Bruce Banner who is The Hulk, because he goes by Dr. Solo. The little comment at the end of my story (“I have a PhD…”) was meant to play off this and the I’m a doctor, not a placeholder trope.
All the tropes and subversions I put in were intentional! Every aspect of my Big Bad and the bad guys was intentionally stereotypical and clichéd. Major Clay? The name itself is indicative of that, although the name is also the only “bad guy” attribute that subverts the usual. I thought it’d be cool if he didn’t have an actual “code name,” as I feel that’s overused… so he’s literally an army major with the surname Clay. See: Captain America, Captain Falcon, Captain Marvel, Captain Nazi, Major Glory (lol), Captain Planet, etc.
As for everything else: he’s big, muscled, intimidating, special forces (typical cheesy 80s movie villain), evil… a Classic villain. Also, his father was killed in combat while his mother was pregnant (reinforces New child left behind). His mother died from childbirth (reinforces Death by childbirth). There’s somebody who trained him, who even says he created him at the end (Death by origin story? Perhaps!), and that is Colonel Drake, who’s possibly a Bigger bad and most definitely confirms the Rule of two. Plus, Major Clay showing up in front of the door just as our five heroes are about to escape, uttering a corny line, and then showing his incredible power? Men in black showing up to capture our heroes? The contrived shady conversation at the end? The “All according to plan” remark? That remark, by the way, reinforced Tempting fate, What could possibly go wrong, and nothing can stop us now, suggesting that soon things would not go according to plan and that the fivesome would become a thorn in their side. It is, however, also ambiguous because it subverted unspoken plan guarantee; it was spoken by a villain, first off, and since the plan was not described, this could suggest “maybe it actually will continue to go according to plan.” Either way, just about everything about the baddies is a clichéd, pre-made trope. How could that be anything but intentional? Don’t get me wrong, I like Major Clay. He’s a no-frills bada** Big Bad. But he (and all the bad guys) are supposed to be clichés.
The way I crafted my story, there was the external/obvious layer (trope-y bad guys, parent deaths, all in all a typical superhero story), and then there was the delicate interior layer I juxtaposed beneath it (subtle subversion of all those other tropes I discussed above).
Also, for the science savvy I subverted Lego genetics by suggesting that these traits were engineered into them since before they were born (I included the characters’ ages for that reason, along with that “Thirty-six long years in the making” comment by Colonel Drake… though I understand this one was pretty ambiguous and even I probably wouldn’t have spotted it had I not written it).
Also, the entire thing is a subversion of For Great Justice. The characters don’t do what they do out of a sense of justice or to fight crime, but because they were forced to. In fact, one of them used his power to fight and another to steal. Moreover, it’s not even clear what they do after they’ve been forced to join together. Do they use their powers for good while also fighting this shady organization? Do they lay low and just use their powers to run from Drake and Clay? Etc.
Also, I like Scav's story and have read a lot of his work, which I have also really enjoyed. But how did you guys miss some of the huge, blatant, obvious tropes he used in his story?
What you didn’t get? They were forced together, allowing me to avoid the potential pitfalls of “they decide to join up and fight crime” and the like. The shady “conspiracy,” the fact that they were all part of a cohort in some genetic experiment, the erasure of their lives to force them together (for reasons the reader is not told), not to mention that they clearly form a team whose abilities complement one another (ie, how each one demonstrated their power to free the others in the justification). I tried to put in enough details about the “experiment” to show that there was some kind of coherent rhyme and reason to the plan, without giving away enough details to make it clear what the plan actually was. Dr. Solo’s powers being weak compared to the Big Bad is a valid criticism, but I tried to address it to an extent by pointing out that a) he’s the leader of the group and b) he’s a professor of genetics. Considering his intelligence and knowledge of genetics, and the fact that they’re all part of some genetic experiment, this is meant to suggest he’s more of an intellectual leader/strategist and a Non action guy who also happens to be immune to the Big Bad’s power.
Valid criticism about my descriptions. However, I believe you missed the point of the dead parents. Is it possible it was part of the ‘government plan’ and all that? Perhaps, but I intentionally didn’t go into detail on that because it wasn’t relevant to what I wanted to achieve with this short piece of work. The point of the dead parents was to subvert the traditional tropes. Think about it. Usually, dead parents spawn superheroes, right? The tropes associated with this include:
Conveniently an orphan (character’s parents happen to die, leaving him free to do what he or she wants)
Deceased parents are the best. (character’s parents die, but they were good parents, and this has an influence on the character for the rest of his or her life; the parents continue to play a role in the story or plot or character’s life)
Death by origin story (somebody close to the character dies, inspiring the character to pursue justice/revenge/etc… think Bruce Wayne/Batman, **** Grayson/Robin, The Punisher, Peter Parker/Spiderman)
Orphan’s ordeal (the plot focuses on the difficulties faced by an orphaned character)
None of these apply to my story. Dr. Solo had both parents. His sister’s death from cancer prompted him to become a cancer researcher, but this has nothing to do with him getting superpowers or becoming a “superhero” (term used loosely) or becoming part of a group.
Mrs. Roboto had both parents and grew up well off. Side note: Subverts the applicable “rich kid” tropes as she’s pretty normal as far as all indications in my entry go (Rich *****, Rich Idiot With No Day Job, Rich In Dollars Poor In Sense, Spoiled Brat, Socialite, Spoiled Brat, Spoiled Sweet, Upper Class Twit), except for one: Non Idle Rich, and even that one is technically subverted because the vast majority of “non idle rich” are men (Thomas Wayne, Tony Stark, etc). My character is a woman. A woman who is really good at math (compare to Reed Richards/Mr. Fantastic, Tony Stark, Bruce Banner, etc., all men).
Freeze Frame was raised by a grandparent (which does reinforce the Raised by grandparents trope), but there’s no indication that not having parents drove him to do anything different. None of his actions can be explained by the dead parents thing.
Tigress’s parents die, but a) subverts Raised by grandparents because she’s raised by her aunt and uncle, who both live and b) there is no indication that the death of her parents had any effect on her gaining powers or finding out she has them.
Fast Pass is an interesting one because his parents die, he gets adopted by good parents, and then they die too. A second chance at life, taken away. Does a double-take on a common trope subvert the trope? I’d say yes, to some extent. More importantly, he gets passed around foster homes but this is not the focus of the story (subverts/avoids Orphan’s ordeal) and again, there is no indication that the death of his parents had anything to do with him gaining or using his powers. In fact, his parents are never mentioned again. There’s no indication in my description that he’s been inspired by their death, or that he thinks about them, or that he wants to find out who they are, etc. Also, he subverts the heartwarming orphan, evil orphan, enfant terrible because he a) is definitely not heartwarming, b) acts out like a teenager but is by no means “evil”, and c) not a psychopath, which is the definition of enfant terrible. He’s just a regular, neutral guy with an attitude; he finds out about his powers and he doesn’t become a villain or a hero. He just uses his powers to fend for himself, to steal but only what he needs (this leaves room for some moral ambiguity).
What I was going for here was to subvert and mock the “dead parents” tropes that are omnipresent in superhero comics. None of the dead parents had any effect on the children as far as inspiration or superpowers go! This is why I didn’t suggest the government plot could have been involved in their deaths, then that would given the impression (whether false or true) that their parents’ deaths did have something to do with making them who they are. I was going for the opposite effect to subvert that trope.
Also, I’m not entirely clear on what you’re getting at with Freeze Frame, the black fighter (not boxer!)? Are you saying it’s a) stereotypical or b) racist? There are a lot of poor, inner-city neighborhoods around the country. In a lot of the families in these neighborhoods, the parents are absent (usually the father). Some of these neighborhoods are Asian, some are white, some Hispanic, some black, some native American, etc. Would it really have made a difference what color I made the character? Fundamentally, no; he would’ve walked, talked, and done the same things. I made him black, knowing I was walking a precarious tightrope, because I was kind of hoping to play off the reader’s own stereotypes. When most people, off the top of their heads, imagine a well-built black street fighter raised in an inner city neighborhood, they probably think of him as unfriendly, aloof, intimidating. But when we get to the story/narrative, it turns out he’s a pretty sociable, even goofy, guy (ie, he fights for a living but he’s not such a bad guy). However, I can understand if this didn’t show through and my choice came off as questionable.
Also, Dr. Solo subverts a number of tropes. Though he’s a scientist, he is the opposite of a Science Hero or an Omnidisciplinary scientist. He’s a good guy with a doctorate, not the usual Dr. Doom, Dr. Octopus, Dr. Evil, Dr. No, Dr. Zaius, Dr. Hannibal Lecter, Dr. Jekyll, etc. He’s not the same as heroes with a doctorate, like Reed Richards who goes by Mr. Fantastic, or Bruce Banner who is The Hulk, because he goes by Dr. Solo. The little comment at the end of my story (“I have a PhD…”) was meant to play off this and the I’m a doctor, not a placeholder trope.
I’m actually quite familiar with the idea of tropes and the TVtropes website itself. I’ve browsed TVtropes for countless hours over the past several years, and I’m probably more familiar with all the different kinds of tropes and clichés than most people. My goal was to craft a story with two layers.
All the tropes and subversions I put in were intentional! Every aspect of my Big Bad and the bad guys was intentionally stereotypical and clichéd. Major Clay? The name itself is indicative of that, although the name is also the only “bad guy” attribute that subverts the usual. I thought it’d be cool if he didn’t have an actual “code name,” as I feel that’s overused… so he’s literally an army major with the surname Clay. See: Captain America, Captain Falcon, Captain Marvel, Captain Nazi, Major Glory (lol), Captain Planet, etc.
As for everything else: he’s big, muscled, intimidating, special forces (typical cheesy 80s movie villain), evil… a Classic villain. Also, his father was killed in combat while his mother was pregnant (reinforces New child left behind). His mother died from childbirth (reinforces Death by childbirth). There’s somebody who trained him, who even says he created him at the end (Death by origin story? Perhaps!), and that is Colonel Drake, who’s possibly a Bigger bad and most definitely confirms the Rule of two. Plus, Major Clay showing up in front of the door just as our five heroes are about to escape, uttering a corny line, and then showing his incredible power? Men in black showing up to capture our heroes? The contrived shady conversation at the end? The “All according to plan” remark? That remark, by the way, reinforced Tempting fate, What could possibly go wrong, and nothing can stop us now, suggesting that soon things would not go according to plan and that the fivesome would become a thorn in their side. It is, however, also ambiguous because it subverted unspoken plan guarantee; it was spoken by a villain, first off, and since the plan was not described, this could suggest “maybe it actually will continue to go according to plan.” Either way, just about everything about the baddies is a clichéd, pre-made trope. How could that be anything but intentional? Don’t get me wrong, I like Major Clay. He’s a no-frills bada** Big Bad. But he (and all the bad guys) are supposed to be clichés.
The way I crafted my story, there was the external/obvious layer (trope-y bad guys, parent deaths, all in all a typical superhero story), and then there was the delicate interior layer I juxtaposed beneath it (subtle subversion of all those other tropes I discussed above).
This was part of the "less serious" aspect of the story. I just thought it'd be a nice addition, as my story and overarching exterior design weren't meant to be serious.
Also, for the science savvy I subverted Lego genetics by suggesting that these traits were engineered into them since before they were born (I included the characters’ ages for that reason, along with that “Thirty-six long years in the making” comment by Colonel Drake… though I understand this one was pretty ambiguous and even I probably wouldn’t have spotted it had I not written it).
Also, the entire thing is a subversion of For Great Justice. The characters don’t do what they do out of a sense of justice or to fight crime, but because they were forced to. In fact, one of them used his power to fight and another to steal. Moreover, it’s not even clear what they do after they’ve been forced to join together. Do they use their powers for good while also fighting this shady organization? Do they lay low and just use their powers to run from Drake and Clay? Etc.
Also, I like Scav's story and have read a lot of his work, which I have also really enjoyed. But how did you guys miss some of the huge, blatant, obvious tropes he used in his story?