i have 2 jokes. A short joke, and a long joke.
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What happened to Beethoven when he died?
He decomposed.
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One morning, a boy waited outside for his bus to take him to school. As he waited, a kid on a bike passed by and shouted "PURPLE FLOWERS!" The boy was confused by the biker's seemingly-random outburst. Anyway, his bus finally came and he went to school.
The boy sat in class, still dumbfounded, and decided to tell his teacher about the biker. "Ms. Hamilton, this morning, while I was waiting for the schoolbus, a kid on a bike passed me by and shouted 'PURPLE FLOWERS!' What does purple flowers mean?" The teacher looked absolutely appalled, and said, "How dare you?? You go to the principal's office right now!!"
The confused boy did as he was told and went to the principal's office. The principal asked,"What did you do to end up in my office, son?" The boy replied,"Well, my teacher sent me here because I told her that while I was waiting for the schoolbus this morning, a kid on a bike passed me by and shouted 'PURPLE FLOWERS!' What does purple flowers mean?" The principal was furious, and said, "I'm gonna have to suspend you."
The boy's mom came to pick him up from school. She asked,"Why in the hell are you being suspended?" The boy replied,"I'm being suspended because the principal was angry with me, because the teacher sent me to the principal's office, because I told her that while I was waiting for the schoolbus this morning, a kid on a bike passed me by and shouted 'PURPLE FLOWERS!' What does purple flowers mean?" The boy's mother looked absolutely heartbroken and said, "When we get home, go straight to your room and don't come out. Your father will deal with you after he gets off of work."
The boy's father finally gets home and goes into his son's room. "Why did your mother send you to your room?" The boy replied,"Mom sent me to my room because I got suspended because the principal was angry with me, because the teacher sent me to the principal's office, because I told her that while I was waiting for the schoolbus this morning, a kid on a bike passed me by and shouted 'PURPLE FLOWERS!' What does purple flowers mean?" The father yelled at the top of his lungs,"You get the hell out of this house before I beat the living daylights outta you!"
The boy ran out of the house and headed down the street. A few hours passed and it got dark outside. A police officer drove down the street and stopped by the boy. The officer asked,"What in the world are you doing out here at this hour of the night?" The boy explained,"Sir, my father kicked me out of the house because Mom sent me to my room because I got suspended because the principal was angry with me, because the teacher sent me to the principal's office, because I told her that while I was waiting for the schoolbus this morning, a kid on a bike passed me by and shouted 'PURPLE FLOWERS!' What does purple flowers mean?" The officer said,"Boy, I'm gonna have to take you downtown."
So the boy ends up in a jail cell, confused as ever. His cellmate sits quietly by their barred window. He finally looks over at the boy and asks,"Hey boy, what you in here for?" The boy says,"Well, an officer threw me in here because I was out late because my father kicked me out of the house because Mom sent me to my room because I got suspended because the principal was angry with me, because the teacher sent me to the principal's office, because I told her that while I was waiting for the schoolbus this morning, a kid on a bike passed me by and shouted 'PURPLE FLOWERS!' What does purple flowers mean?"
The cellmate nodded his head up and down. "I can't tell you what purple flowers means, but you see that house across the street?" He points through the barred window. "There's a man that lives in that house...he's the smartest man in the world and he can tell you exactly what purple flowers means." The boy is so happy to hear this! The next day, the boy walks out of jail and looks at the house across the street with much excitement. The boy starts making his way across the road, gets hit by a car and dies.
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What kind of bees make milk?
boobies.
