That's Gay

[Florida]

Warning: this post contains intense terms and language.

This thread probably isn't as awesome as you thought it was going to be when you opened it. Sorry.

But anyway, when people say something is gay, as in, it's "uncool" or "lame" or suchlike, does that offend you? Do you think it's somehow unacceptable? I'd been thinking about this for a while now. In fact, I was talking to a homosexual the other day (my relative’s friend), and he freely called the service at the bar "gay," and then later on went on to describe the pool table as "fu*king gay" because it was a terrible table. I was quietly amused by it actually, but it didn't seem to bother him one bit. But, countless times I’ve seen others get on their high horse about it - pretty much always straight people by the way - and pull out these big spiels about how casually saying something is "gay" makes you a horrible person because it demeans homosexuals and so on.

I personally don't think that it does, so I still say it regularly. I don't think it's any kind of malicious attack on homosexuals like people make out that it is because the meaning has changed. It was a juvenile insult, but now it's just become another slang word in itself like the words "suck" and "blow."

I don't think people realize it, but saying "this car sucks/blows" is the exact equivalent to saying "this car is gay". Think about it - sucks what, exactly? What does the car suck? Spoons? "This car sucks spoons"? The only way it could possibly make sense is if it were a reference to male on male fellatio, as in, "This car sucks c*ck". Which doesn't really make sense, but I could see why a homophobic or immature kid would have said it to begin with. It wouldn't be a reference to female on male fellatio either, because what kind of 13 year old is going to come to the conclusion that a girl giving him a blowjob is something "bad," or something that should be used to describe things that "aren't cool"?

That just doesn't make any sense, so it would have to be a reference to homosexual behavior. With that in mind, why do people kick up a stink when somebody says something is "gay," but not when somebody says something "blows" or "sucks," or even when somebody says something "sucks d*ck," when they have the exact same meaning? Well I know why, but it seems a bit ridiculous is what I’m trying to point out.

This topic isn't pointed out to insult or offend any possible homosexuals here on smashboards. This post has also been discussed on other forums before, I just thought I'd introduce it to SWF. And try to be mature about this, please?

 

[wazgood]

i say stuff is gay all the time

 

[Sony]

me too it doesnt bother anyone else around me unless someone is gay thats around me when i say gay i mean the term that i like guys kinda of gay but they probably wouldnt say there gay cause there embrassed to admit it but good point anyway

 

[Mr.GAW]

Good thread. You had a really nice analogy. That's exactly how I feel about it.

 

[snoblo]

Yah I feel kind of bad when I use the word 'gay' in that context I used to say "that was gay" all the time. I've tried substituting gay with the word homosexual, but I just get odd looks from people.

The sad thing is, it's becoming more widely used, despite its political incorrectness. I've stopped saying it for the most part, just because I would feel really bad if I were gay.

 

[a1j2h5]

Saying something "is gay" is like saying something is "cool" "hot" "********"
You don't really mean it, its just a saying, if people actually feel that racist way, then there's something wrong with them.

 

[Volrec]

I dont use the word gay, because it's dumb. "That **** is gay" **** can't be gay. I use sucks, blows, or fails, or something

 

[Sony]

lol this thread is becoming popular

 

[SuperWario]

Yeah, I hate people over use that term. "This is gay, that is gay, etc." Generally, only 10 years say that and "***got", which means a bundle of sticks and has nothing to do with being gay >_>

 

[Volrec]

Yeah, I hate people over use that term. "This is gay, that is gay, etc." Generally, only 10 years say that and "***got", which means a bundle of sticks and has nothing to do with being gay >_>

The reason bundles of sticks are called ***gots is because they (this is hurtful)

Spoiler

used to burn gays

 

[Sony]

my friends say gay alot i think i got saying it from them like if everyone starts saying fartknocker i will start saying fartknocker but yeah i get ur point about being offenseive to actual homosexuals but its just like a1j2h5 said its just like that

 

[Eor]

I'm a big supporter of Gay rights, but I still say "that was gay", because I'm not using it in that meaning. I seem them as two different words, one meaning homosexual, one meaning Lame. Not that there are two different words, just that that's how I use it as. I know I should stop saying "that's gay", but you sound like a tool if you just say "that's lame" over and over. When something better comes up, I'll use it

 

[Sony]

i agree i dont mean like ur a *** i mean that was lame

 

[Florida]

me too it doesnt bother anyone else around me unless someone is gay thats around me when i say gay i mean the term that i like guys kinda of gay but they probably wouldnt say there gay cause there embrassed to admit it but good point anyway

Some people are proud to say that they are homosexual, which quite frankly, I do not have a problem with. I follow a religious belief that you shouldn't interact with those of your same sex, but I don't mind other people doing what they feel is right. I mentioned my sister's gay friend in my first post, I hang out with him a lot. He's fun to be around with, and that's all that I really look at in a person.

Yah I feel kind of bad when I use the word 'gay' in that context I used to say "that was gay" all the time. I've tried substituting gay with the word homosexual, but I just get odd looks from people.

The sad thing is, it's becoming more widely used, despite its political incorrectness. I've stopped saying it for the most part, just because I would feel really bad if I were gay.

What's weird is that the word homosexual is so rarely used that it gets weird reactions from those who hear you say it. Kind of odd really, since a lot of people consider "homosexual" to be the more professional way of stating someone being "gay".

Good thread. You had a really nice analogy. That's exactly how I feel about it.

Thanks

Yeah, I hate people over use that term. "This is gay, that is gay, etc." Generally, only 10 years say that and "***got", which means a bundle of sticks and has nothing to do with being gay >_>

The term "gay" has shifted through different meanings.
It originated as "happy", then to "homosexual", now to just normal and commonly used slang such as "sucks," etc.

 

[chansen]

Epitaphs these days are derived from words that have a completely different meaning. Now I'm sure this can still offend people (I say that's gay all the time), if you understand what a person is really saying when they use said eptiaph, you'll find yourself a lot less offended...

 

[Eor]

The reason bundles of sticks are called ***gots is because they (this is hurtful)

Spoiler

used to burn gays

That's crap, England never burned people convicted of homosexuality. I'm not sure why they are called ***gots, but I know for a fact it's not that reason. Besides, it's an America-only thing, Britain doesn't use it.

Edit: to the guy below: yes, it would, which is why I use both

 

[Florida]

I'm a big supporter of Gay rights, but I still say "that was gay", because I'm not using it in that meaning. I seem them as two different words, one meaning homosexual, one meaning Lame. Not that there are two different words, just that that's how I use it as. I know I should stop saying "that's gay", but you sound like a tool if you just say "that's lame" over and over. When something better comes up, I'll use it

I get what you're saying.
But, with you just saying "that's gay" over and over again, won't it lead to the same result as repeating "that's lame?", "being a tool"?
I admit, that I do use the word "gay" as a replacment for "dumb, stupid, etc." often, but mainly because the people I live with use it a lot, and it's now carved in my vocabulary.

My mom's been trying to get me to try and use other words, but nothing feels as casual as saying "gay". I guess my situation fits both yours, and Sony's.

Epitaphs these days are derived from words that have a completely different meaning. Now I'm sure this can still offend people (I say that's gay all the time), if you understand what a person is really saying when they use said eptiaph, you'll find yourself a lot less offended...

I'll reply to this quote, with another quote from someone I've been talking to a bit earlier.

If I was gay (which I'm not) I would feel a bit offended if people used a term that describes my sexual orientation as a term for something that means bad or crap or something like that.

 

[Mediocre]

I'll admit, I'm straight and when people use the word "gay" as an insult or something similar, it bothers me.

You say that "sucks" and "blows" are both derogatory terms that originate from homosexual acts. First of all, let me point out that an equally compelling argument could be made that those terms are simply an expression of male chauvinism. In other words, because women are perceived as inferior to men, the sexual acts associated with women become derogatory. This phenomenon is apparent in the evolution of the word, "f*ck." Getting "f*cked" is a negative. "**** you" is an insult. So, really, your assumption that "sucks" and "blows" developed from homosexual fellatio isn't necessarily accurate.

However, even if your assumption were true, those words are much further removed from the group themselves, to the extent that they have been almost entirely disassociated with homosexuals. The same cannot be said of the term "gay."

Now, as to why it bothers me - it bothers me for much the same reason that I'm bothered when someone describes a stingy person as being "so ****ing Jewish" or says a drunk person is probably Irish.

Whether they realize it or not, they are insulting and defaming a huge group of people. Now, you might say that "gay" is used as a general insult or expression of dislike, and is therefore less damaging than stereotypical insults like the one I described. In a lot of ways, you'd probably be right. But at the same time, the fact that the insult has become so generalized and commonplace that most people don't even think about saying it makes it even worse.

I can't help but wonder if your friend is simply using the word in an attempt to blend into the herd. He probably doesn't want to stand out more, on top of being gay, by avoiding such a common insult. He certainly wouldn't want to draw attention to himself by protesting against it.

I graduated from high school less than a year ago, so I don't think the situation has changed much since then. When I was there, I knew a few gay people. Some were closeted, some were open about it. One girl, in particular, was repeatedly harassed by two girls for being a "****" throughout the year. I'm not sure if her homosexuality was the reason behind their actions or merely the excuse, but this example does show that at least some teenagers view homosexuality as something to be ashamed of and attacked for.

The continued use of the word "gay" as an insult promotes and condones this attitude, even if those who use it do not intend it that way. I'm not advocating that those who use the word "gay" be punished in any way, but I certainly think that its usage should be discouraged.

 

[Mediocre]

I'm a big supporter of Gay rights, but I still say "that was gay", because I'm not using it in that meaning. I seem them as two different words, one meaning homosexual, one meaning Lame. Not that there are two different words, just that that's how I use it as. I know I should stop saying "that's gay", but you sound like a tool if you just say "that's lame" over and over. When something better comes up, I'll use it

Lame, stupid, idiotic, dumb, ridiculous, annoying.

It's pretty easy, really. "Gay" is used in place of such a variety of words that it's hard to believe that you can only come up with "lame" as a substitute.

Epitaphs these days are derived from words that have a completely different meaning. Now I'm sure this can still offend people (I say that's gay all the time), if you understand what a person is really saying when they use said eptiaph, you'll find yourself a lot less offended...

I understand exactly what people mean, but it still bothers me. I'm not offended, but I dislike it when people use the word "gay" in that type of context.

I also try to avoid using the word "********," because it refers to a group of people who don't deserve to be maligned every time I want to call something stupid.

 

[Crimson King]

http://www.straightdope.com/mailbag/m***got.html

I actually was surprised with this topic. Nicely done.

 

[Florida]

I'll admit, I'm straight and when people use the word "gay" as an insult or something similar, it bothers me.

You say that "sucks" and "blows" are both derogatory terms that originate from homosexual acts. First of all, let me point out that an equally compelling argument could be made that those terms are simply an expression of male chauvinism. In other words, because women are perceived as inferior to men, the sexual acts associated with women become derogatory. This phenomenon is apparent in the evolution of the word, "f*ck." Getting "f*cked" is a negative. "**** you" is an insult. So, really, your assumption that "sucks" and "blows" developed from homosexual fellatio isn't necessarily accurate.

However, even if your assumption were true, those words are much further removed from the group themselves, to the extent that they have been almost entirely disassociated with homosexuals. The same cannot be said of the term "gay."

I get your point here, my choice in words probably weren't the best, but I was just trying to get the viewers of this thread to get an example of what I mean. Some text deleted, I've mis-read your post.

Now, as to why it bothers me - it bothers me for much the same reason that I'm bothered when someone describes a stingy person as being "so ****ing Jewish" or says a drunk person is probably Irish.

Whether they realize it or not, they are insulting and defaming a huge group of people. Now, you might say that "gay" is used as a general insult or expression of dislike, and is therefore less damaging than stereotypical insults like the one I described. In a lot of ways, you'd probably be right. But at the same time, the fact that the insult has become so generalized and commonplace that most people don't even think about saying it makes it even worse.

I can understand what you're saying here. I'm fine with saying "that's gay", but if it bothers someone then I'd most definitely try to stop. Which was basically the whole reason of this thread, to see if it really does bother anyone. The fact that a homosexual uses the term "that's gay", kind of got me thinking.

I can't help but wonder if your friend is simply using the word in an attempt to blend into the herd. He probably doesn't want to stand out more, on top of being gay, by avoiding such a common insult. He certainly wouldn't want to draw attention to himself by protesting against it.

I graduated from high school less than a year ago, so I don't think the situation has changed much since then. When I was there, I knew a few gay people. Some were closeted, some were open about it. One girl, in particular, was repeatedly harassed by two girls for being a "****" throughout the year. I'm not sure if her homosexuality was the reason behind their actions or merely the excuse, but this example does show that at least some teenagers view homosexuality as something to be ashamed of and attacked for.

The continued use of the word "gay" as an insult promotes and condones this attitude, even if those who use it do not intend it that way. I'm not advocating that those who use the word "gay" be punished in any way, but I certainly think that its usage should be discouraged.

My sister's friend (I consider him my friend as well), has never been shy about being gay. He seems to be quite open about it, and frankly not give a d*mn what other people say, or think about him. I am aware that people are picked on for being homosexuals, and it has caused lots of pain in people's lives, some results being suicidal leads.

Now I'm pretty much considering finding new terms to rant out loud after losing a Smash game.

EDIT:

http://www.straightdope.com/mailbag/m***got.html

I actually was surprised with this topic. Nicely done.

Thanks, and, your link isn't working for me.
Yeah, I noticed the censor'd part, interesting read CK.

 

[Crimson King]

Yea, "faggot" is censored here. just input that in the URL were the asterisks are.

 

[Emblem Lord]

Well, here is the thing. Let's take another word that has a different meaning now then what it did when it was orginally used.

*****.

I'm black and I call all my friends *****. I have friends of all races and they all use this term. Except for WoZ because he is a wierdo. lol. ( I love you WoZ! XD) Anyway, is it politically incorrect? Yes. Does it bother me to hear other people say the word? Nope.

I say as long as you are comfortable with it and you are aware of the meaning behind what you are saying then do as you will. Some people may take offense to it and if they do then you can just apologize and move on.

No big deal.

I feel the same way about people saying that's gay all the time. It's just become a part of our everyday vocab. And I alos think that by making it a part of our vocab and not being afraid to wield a word in a manner of your choice is a way to reclaim that word and take some of the bite out it.

 

[chansen]

CK, Is that some sort of magic script your using to curse on the boards???

*Checks Google Furiously*

jk.

But I thought the usage of the word ***got was in terms of a cigarette butt? I've never heard it used in reference to a bundle of sticks. I just perfer to use less harmful epitaphs (hypocrisy???) like douchebag and asshat!

 

[Florida]

Well, here is the thing. Let's take another word that has a different meaning now then what it did when it was orginally used.

*****.

I'm black and I call all my friends *****. I have friends of all races and they all use this term. Except for WoZ because he is a wierdo. lol. ( I love you WoZ! XD) Anyway, is it politically incorrect? Yes. Does it bother me to hear other people say the word? Nope.

I say as long as you are comfortable with it and you are aware of the meaning behind what you are saying then do as you will. Some people may take offense to it and if they do then you can just apologize and move on.

No big deal.

I feel the same way about people saying that's gay all the time. It's just become a part of our everyday vocab. And I alos think that by making it a part of our vocab and not being afraid to wield a word in a manner of your choice is a way to reclaim that word and take some of the bite out it.

Your post actually brings up another discussion.
And I'm terribly sorry if this offends you in any way:

In my situation, a lot of African-Americans use "******" to name themselves or any of their friends, but they get offended if anyone else calls them that. That's not the only situation, I've seen it been done with a lot of other terms and races, such as "crackers & whites", etc. So why even use the term if you're going to end up being offended by it in the end?

Again, this is coming from my personal experience. I don't know if it's the same for where you are, but that's what I'm getting from where I live.

 

[chansen]

I dont want to act like the mod's lapdog but I'm pretty sure theres already a thread like that. But quickly IMO, ***** falls in the same category as my original statement, the words meaning in todays society has changed from a derogatory slur to a tem of endearment. People use it as if they were using chum, buddy or pal now a days, so lets not get worked up.

 

[Crimson King]

CK, Is that some sort of magic script your using to curse on the boards???

*Checks Google Furiously*

jk.

But I thought the usage of the word ***got was in terms of a cigarette butt? I've never heard it used in reference to a bundle of sticks. I just perfer to use less harmful epitaphs (hypocrisy???) like douchebag and asshat!

Don't do it. I did it to show the title of the URL.

 

[chansen]

sowwy, *looks away shamefully*

I was just kidding, I'd rather the censors be stricter on the boards as it is. And i need to quit cursing altogether, I'm gunna be a father soon...

 

[Got Blood?]

The word gay.I'm straight,and I'm slightly offended when people use the word "gay" in overkill.I don't mind if someone says, "dude,that's gay" and that's it.Even a few times I don't mind.But when it's used over and over,it's offensive.Now the one that REALLY gets me is the word "********".IMO,that's crossing the line.

 

[chansen]

If you dont mind me asking how is that going any further over the line than saying gay. IMO its all the same, I have a ******** uncle and I say that word just as much as gay. So in the end, its mostly about what offends you and what doesnt...I take great offense at "your mother" jokes in general because my mother is deceased, and yet i take no offense to the ******** comment. It's another case of nature vs. nurture (if you look at it hard enough).

 

[Got Blood?]

If you dont mind me asking how is that going any further over the line than saying gay. IMO its all the same, I have a ******** uncle and I say that word just as much as gay. So in the end, its mostly about what offends you and what doesnt...I take great offense at "your mother" jokes in general because my mother is deceased, and yet i take no offense to the ******** comment. It's another case of nature vs. nurture (if you look at it hard enough).

Ya,I can understand why you would take offense to your mom jokes.Because it's a subject near and dear to you.That's sort of the same thing with me.I have some friends who have mentally handicapped relatives,and when someone makes fun using the term "********",it just offends me.It's whatever hits home I suppose.

 

[Florida]

sowwy, *looks away shamefully*

I was just kidding, I'd rather the censors be stricter on the boards as it is. And i need to quit cursing altogether, I'm gunna be a father soon...

I think that you should try not to curse period, it resembles a better character and personality in my opinion. But congratulations on becoming a father

Ya,I can understand why you would take offense to your mom jokes.Because it's a subject near and dear to you.That's sort of the same thing with me.I have some friends who have mentally handicapped relatives,and when someone makes fun using the term "********",it just offends me.It's whatever hits home I suppose.

No arguments there. (exept the "momma" jokes, I could care less about being offended to that).

If you dont mind me asking how is that going any further over the line than saying gay. IMO its all the same, I have a ******** uncle and I say that word just as much as gay. So in the end, its mostly about what offends you and what doesnt...I take great offense at "your mother" jokes in general because my mother is deceased, and yet i take no offense to the ******** comment. It's another case of nature vs. nurture (if you look at it hard enough).

Right, words such as "******" being offensive is basically no different than terms such as "gay" and "idiot," etc.

 

[chansen]

Oh, the whole father thing, totally joking. i guess the jk i put in there didnt make it, stupid powerbook.

 

[Falco&Victory]

Go suck spoons you intolerant bast@rd

 

[Florida]

Oh, the whole father thing, totally joking. i guess the jk i put in there didnt make it, stupid powerbook.

Go suck spoons you intolerant bast@rd

I guess the "please be mature about this" part of my post didn't really make it through either, eh?

 

[chansen]

whoa now lets not lump computer incompetency with immaturity. I'm a little better than dodging the censors.

 

[Falco&Victory]

This topic can't be serious right? The only people who ever take offense are those who try to get attention by trying to fix everything wrong in society. A few people will genuinely take offense, such as really good people if they've had bad personal experiences, but no one will take any real offense unless they have a horrible personality(not bad, just annoying) or in the VERY rare case a genuinely bad past experience. People just try to make themselves look good.

Sociology specializing ftw

 

[Got Blood?]

This topic can't be serious right? The only people who ever take offense are those who try to get attention by trying to fix everything wrong in society. A few people will genuinely take offense, such as really good people if they've had bad personal experiences, but no one will take any real offense unless they have a horrible personality(not bad, just annoying) or in the VERY rare case a genuinely bad past experience. People just try to make themselves look good.

Sociology specializing ftw

Or,you know,it just genuinely offends them.

 

[chansen]

This falco&victory character seems to have logged on recently and all the posts ive seen are him flaiming the creator, can we get a moderator over here. whatever, his sociology degree is definitely no match for us *sarcasm*

genuine posters ftw!

 

[Falco&Victory]

No, it doesn't. Neurology can target genuine emotions, and most 'offensive' words don't trigger a true angry reaction, people just want to fit in and look good. I know people who get 'offended', and when you actually get to know them, they're just BSing. Everyone here should study sociology, it is such a great subject to study up on. It makes it easy to read people.My friends are like books to me now.