Fatmanonice
Banned via Warnings
Link to original post: [drupal=5334]Ten Things All Incoming Freshman (and College Students) Should Know About College [/drupal]
In a little less than a week after I post this essay is Freshman Move In Day at Southeast Missouri State University. I will go about with my usual routine for the day. I will wake up at about 4 AM so I can get there right at 5 and I will have my traditional Move In breakfast of applejack and coffee. Because the parking lot will soon be stuffed with cars of parents and students alike, I will then walk about half a mile to Towers (the main dormitory on campus) with at least a gallon of water in hand (last year I had three). The sun will barely be out and I will be among the first people there. Until about 4 in the afternoon I will help carry everything from TVs to refrigerators to entire wardrobes to any of the 10 stories in each of the four Towers that have dorm rooms. In that time I will meet a large number of freshmen with all sorts of expressions on their faces. You can see the anticipation and the apprehension. You can see the freshman who can’t wait for their parents to go back home but also those who wish they could go back home with their parents. You can readily tell the freshmen who will probably get into goofy shenanigans on a regular basis and those that will more than likely only leave their room for classes and food. The parents are just as varied as the students and it’s equally entertaining watching them too. Some of the parents simply radiate with nostalgia as they quietly reminisce about their college years while others don’t shut up about “the good ol’ days” until they’re back in their minivans. Some of the parents are so excited that they can barely contain themselves while others merely act excited as you can see the sheer amount of grief in their eyes as they let go of their “little” girls and boys. Freshman Move In Day is a big day for parents and students and rightfully so. The future holds many exciting prospects but also challenging obstacles and daunting uncertainties for all of them and it’s a wonder to watch it every year.
It’s hard to believe that nearly four years have passed since I first came to SEMO. I’ve been a college student for six years now and during this time I have collected a lot of fond memories. One of those fond memories is when I moved into the apartment where I still live to this day. I was a transfer student who had spent three semesters living at home going to a community college and one semester studying in England. Despite my experience overseas, I didn’t know how to handle having an apartment or being away from my parents. I was a largely antisocial person who didn’t have any idea of where I was going in life and simply felt like my life was in cruise control. I only went to SEMO because I was too lethargic to look anywhere else and they had a program for the degree I wanted (or thought I did at the time). The day I moved into my apartment was filled with a number of emotions. After I ate dinner with my family I remember the moment before I got into my car to start my newfound life as a “real” college student. My dad shook my hand and told me how proud he was. He told me that this was merely another stretch of track on the road of life that I’d need to overcome and that he hoped that, like his college days, these would end up some of the best of my life. My mom barely said anything most of that day. Her enthusiasm was largely swallowed up by how much she’d miss me. She’d chime in with short comments and smile, all the while being noticeably heartbroken. My older sister kept a brave face the whole day until I got into my car, supposedly becoming a waterfall of tears during the whole two hour trip back to St. Louis. Filled with sadness and excitement, I did a donut in the parking lot of the restaurant before peeling out and heading straight for my apartment. That night, I slept in an unfamiliar bed in an even more unfamiliar apartment. “So what happens now,” I thought as I stayed up most of the night thinking of all the possibilities that could unfold while I was at SEMO.
Overall, college life has treated me well. I’ve been a participant in over two dozen clubs and organizations and have met a countless number of people who would not only enrich my life but forever change it. Like in high school, I still don’t have much school spirit but that doesn’t stop me from enthusiastically expressing how much I love all the hustle and bustle of college life. It’s like the Odyssey and Rumspringa all rolled into one. I’m not exactly Van Wilder but I think there are few people out there who would full heartily endorse the college experience more than I would which is why I’ve decided to write this essay. I was originally holding off on this essay until I had graduated with my masters but, seeing how much I’ve changed and experienced in the past year alone, I’m sure I’ll have plenty of new material to discuss when the time comes. As the title suggests, this essay is meant to not only be encouragement for incoming freshman but for all college students who have ever found themselves sitting with their head in their hands and wondering to themselves “what the Hell am I doing here.” I couldn’t begin to list all the things that I’ve learned since starting college so I’m going to do my best to talk about the ten most important things that I’ve learned that I think every college student should know.
1. College isn’t high school so don’t treat it like such. I put this one at the top of the list because, without a doubt, this is the most common pit that freshmen fall into. Despite living away from home and accepting a ton of new responsibilities, people generally approach college the same way they approached high school. Here’s a few things you should know right off the bat: the classes are harder, the professors will rarely act as safety nets if you don’t study or if you’re failing a class, your parents are no longer around to pick up after you or get you out of jams, and you will be held accountable for your actions like nothing you’ve experienced before. If you ignore these things, college will knock you flat on your *** faster than Rush Limbaugh being offered a chair by Mike Tyson at the National Democratic Convention. Not to scare you off but the number of freshmen who drop out by being overwhelmed by this by the end of their first year is more than 50% nationwide. College will eat you alive if you think you can stay up until 4 in the morning every night playing World of Warcraft or that your roommates will tolerate you eating their snacks when they’re not around. If you think college is continuously like Animal House, you’re sadly mistaken. There is plenty of time for frivolous fun, flamboyant flirting, and a number of other f words (frequent frolicking, for example) but you’ll quickly learn that you’ll have to find balance between work and play unless you want to spent 8 years getting an associate’s degree. The infamous “Freshman 15” is totally avoidable if you teach yourself moderation and solutions for most problems can be found simply by swallowing your pride and asking your professors and parents for help. College is your first step towards becoming an independent adult and, like the first steps of a baby, it’s going to be awkward and off balance and you might wind up crying from frustration or personal injury but, if you can overcome this, not much will get in your way.
2. Don’t be afraid to reinvent yourself and take risks while doing it. Going to college is getting a fresh start in every sense. Everybody starts as a clean slate so don’t mindlessly whip out your accomplishments and stories from high school because, quite frankly, nobody cares including potential employers. Unless you’ve landed a scholarship because of it, nobody cares if you were valedictorian or the captain of the monkey chasing team. Nobody cares about that time you bent over to pick up your pencil in your Creative Writing class your sophomore year and let loose a fart with the force of a small hurricane that sounded like a whale sneezing that earned you the nickname “Foofy McFartypants” until you graduated. Both good and bad, it all becomes virtually irrelevant. Tired of being known as the quiet mousy girl that blushes beet red when anyone talks to her? Now you have the chance to change that. Always wanted to pick up the harmonica but your parents didn’t let you because they found it annoying? Now is your time to do it. What most college students usually don’t catch onto until their junior year is that things are unbelievably open ended in college and that the social pressure to fit in and be cool that existed in high school is almost entirely gone. Some days I like to go to class barefoot or wear a top hat just because I can. I also like to take cat naps on the school fountain on warm days and dress up for Halloween, again, for the simple fact that college offers that much freedom to do so. Did people chastise you for liking Harry Potter in high school? Not anymore they won’t. Another awesome thing about college is that you can be into whatever you want to be into and be as enthusiastic about it as you want. A big part of college is learning how to define yourself so get out there, make some friends, and strive to be the person you always wanted to be.
3. Being a college student doesn’t automatically make you smarter or better than anyone else. I remember during my orientation as a transfer student I sat through one of the most uncomfortable lectures I had ever had the displeasure of being a part of. I had just transferred from a community college and sat through a lecture where a chemistry professor snidely told the audience how privileged they were for going to a state university instead of wasting their time with a “bunch of idiots” at a trade school or community college. He then carried on about how stupid these people were and how they were essentially “pretending” to be college students. Seeing my own experience and how my mother had an associate degree from the school I transferred from, I shrank in my chair feeling overwhelmingly ashamed… and classes hadn’t even begun yet. I felt embarrassed as a number of the students chuckled arrogantly to themselves and I knew based on that these would be attitudes that a lot of them would carry for years to come. I hate to admit that I carried this attitude for a short period of time in 2009 until, after greatly expanding my horizons in the community, I was made to eat humble pie where I saw firsthand how people without degrees were just as important to the wellbeing of society as people with masters’ and doctorates.’ It’s important to remember that college takes a lot of time and money to complete; things that a lot of people are in short supply of. Instead of looking down on the mechanic who works on your car or the waitress who serves you food, be thankful for the work they do. Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses and chances are you’ll sooner or later get knocked off your high horse by someone who’s unexpectedly precocious in a topic you know nothing about. That being said, don’t even enter the high horse stable to begin with and avoid prejudging people based on their education to avoid looking like a horses’ ***.
4. College isn’t just about going to class. For nearly two years, this was something I didn’t believe at all. I believed that my only reason to go to college was to get a degree as quickly as I could so I could move on with my life. My daily schedule played out almost exactly the same day in and day out. I would go to class and either go right back home or go to work. I wouldn’t talk to anyone and I had virtually no friends. My social life was nonexistent and looking back it was a very empty time in my life. I was learning things in class but I was a level of socially awkward that could only be fittingly described as socially ********. Despite mindlessly acing my classes, I barely remember anything from them and most of the truly important stuff was retaught again and again in different classes each semester. I forgot to have fun and, regrettably, I don’t have any friendships from my community college days or from my studying abroad and most of my memories from those days were me being alone. I started college in the fall of 2006 but it wasn’t until the spring of 2009 that I started having a real social life not only by participating in club events but actually putting myself out there and meeting new people. Campus life offers an absurd number of opportunities for socializing, learning, and fun. From barbeques to seminars to plays to concerts to dances to intermural sports to on campus jobs to a goofy number of clubs and organizations there’s absolutely no reason to not find something to distract you between classes. Put yourself out there and you’ll be amazed at what you’ll find. Also, don’t think your experience should be limited to just the campus itself. Get out in the community every once in a while whether it’s to volunteer at an animal shelter, have a Nerf gun fight with friends at a local park, or relax with a steaming cup of java at a local coffee shop or throw back a few at a local bar while listening to local bands. As John Lennon once said “life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans” so instead of having tunnel vision for a degree, find the time to goof off, relax, and simply enjoy life.
5. If you think all the learning in college happens in the classroom, you’re missing out on a lot. The rocker Frank Zappa once quipped “if you want to get drunk and laid, go to college. If you want to learn, go to a library.” He’s right in a lot of ways but I seriously doubt that any high school principal would ever rattle off this gem of a quote at a graduation ceremony without having a mob of angry parents rush the podium. I would say that most of the important learning doesn’t even happen in class but by simply living life. It may sound overly idealistic but a lot of things can be learned about life by learning how to do your own laundry, how to use a mattress as a toboggan down a flight of stairs, and how to attract the attention of the cute blond in your College Algebra class without violently throwing up on yourself. Important things can be learned while working a part time job, being part of a club, or simply getting into cheeky shenanigans with your friends. This isn’t to say that your studies aren’t important but book smarts don’t hold a candle to street smarts and people skills. Also, I’d highly recommend taking Frank Zappa’s advice and giving the library a visit from time for some recreational reading instead of just for late night, caffeine fueled cramming and kinky snogging sessions in the private reading rooms. Got a random question about something? Find a book or Google it. Don’t limit your learning to the classroom and treat life like an ongoing learning experience. Gandhi once said “live like you were to die tomorrow and learn like you were to live forever” and if you treat your college experience like this, you’ll find it significantly more rewarding then just trying to get a degree.
6. YOLO is for idiots; Carpe Diem is for the inspired. Recently a new slang term has come out on the internet that utterly irritates anyone who has an IQ greater than that of a peanut called YOLO. It’s short for “you only live once” and, as you’d expect, it’s largely advocated by the same people who endorse going on weekend benders and performing stunts that you’d only see on America’s Funniest Home Videos and *******. It’d actually mean something significant if, say, these same people were using it to encourage people to do things like find ways to travel to other countries, reach out to people different than themselves, go after their goals, and help out in the community but, no, it’s for the people who are honestly debating whether they should have sex in dance club bathrooms with total strangers or if, instead of one Whopper, they should order two at the drive through at Burger King. A lot of college students don’t take risk assessment seriously until reality head butts them in the stomach through a brick wall. Most don’t learn about their alcohol tolerance until they stupidly down two pitchers of beer or several Solo cups of “jungle juice” in less than hour and find themselves spraying barf like a beef stew cannon or about their workload limits by draining the life out of themselves by taking 18 credit hours in one semester and sleeping an average of three hours a night. YOLO’s philosophy is to keep doing these things because, after all, you only have one life so why not spend it repeatedly doing the same moronic stuff over and over again? Life forces you to eat enough turd sandwiches as it is, especially in college, so there’s no reason to go back for seconds. This is why I much prefer the Latin phrase “carpe diem” which simply means “seize the day.” Each day bring new opportunities that are in sight like low hanging fruit on a tree so why not reach out and grab it? Want to join the rock climbing club but are scared you won’t fit in? Carpe Diem. Want to try to launch a community project but are worried that no one will support you? Carpe Diem. Want to ask someone out on a date but the idea of getting rejected is almost too much to bear? Carpe Diem. Make the most of your college career by taking risks but understand that running for student government has a much greater potential for opening new doors than seeing how many energy drinks you can chug without going to the hospital.
7. Professors can be friends too and they should be. This is one of those concepts that freshmen have a really hard time understanding and seniors wish they had learned as freshman. Coming out of high school, you probably mostly view teachers as mini-dictators of their own classrooms and you probably spent more time in high school dedicated to simply avoiding extended interaction with them. The less you talk to them, the least likely you’ll land yourself in detention, right? Compared to high school teachers, most are pretty intimidating. It’s not every day that you run into teachers that have beards that strongly resemble tumbleweeds, dress in tie dye shirts, tell dirty jokes and swear unapologetically, or keep pet boa constrictors in their office. Some are gruff and some are outright eccentric. Some are as straight edged as the Pope while others are so scatterbrained that it’s a wonder that they remember to put on pants in the morning and it’s debatable if they do shrooms or not. A funny thing happens between high school and college though. Detention disappears, there’s no bell to announce the beginning or end of classes, class attendance becomes voluntary for lectures for most classes, and if you decide to a skip a class to sleep in or study for a test in another class that day, most professors won’t bat an eye. College students are given a new sense of liberty that most don’t start to grasp until their sophomore years. The rigid authoritarian position that teachers typically have in high school is now flexible, making professors much more approachable and personable. You might get to know your professors on a first name basis or be asked to share a lunch with them in their office but you actually have to make an effort towards it. Some can become mentors, some can become friends, and some can even become like parents or grandparents. Not only can you learn a lot from them but if you’re looking for a job once you graduate or a foot in the door for graduate school, they’re important allies to have so don’t wait until your final semester of your senior year to actually start talking to them outside of class.
8. All who wander are not always lost but, even if you are, don’t fret over it too much. I can almost guarantee that at least once in your college career you’ll find yourself stopped dead in your tracks while walking back to your dorm or car and ask yourself “what the Hell have I gotten myself into” or “what on Earth am I doing here?” There will be times where you’ll openly admit that you have no idea what you’re doing and are simply ad libbing through life. This happened to me exactly four times over the five years I was trying decide what to study and earn my bachelor’s degree and a minimum of several thousand times in the past year while trying to earn my master’s . In late 2008, I was in such despair over it that I strongly considered suicide because I thought I had messed up too much to ever redeem myself. It was particularly rough because I didn’t realize how commonplace these feelings were and how I was surrounded by classmates who secretly wanted to change their majors or hated the job prospects of their major. My personal timeline is probably just as muddled as most college students. I started off as an art major in 2006 before becoming a biology major just a semester later when I came to the startling conclusion that I absolutely sucked at art. I then decided to become an evolutionary zoology major in the fall of 2008 before coming to the conclusion in early 2010 that I had more of an interest in working with people than animals but I didn’t know what to do with that. Just a few days before New Years’ 2011 I decided to go to grad school for mental health counseling. After trying to pound a square peg in a round hole in the counseling program for two semesters, I talked to a career counselor who recommended that I look into public administration which is what I’ll be starting this semester. There were many incidents where I was confused, lethargic, and outwardly hating life but I still managed to pull through. I’ve come to be thankful for all this because of all the things I was able to experience and all the people I was able to meet thanks to my indecisiveness. The bottom line is that you should feel free to explore and not get bent out of shape if things don’t go exactly according to plan. Remember, only about a quarter of people who get bachelor’s degrees end up in a job in their field and it takes the average college student six years to get a bachelor’s degree.
9. When it rains, it pours and there will be a lot of times when you won’t be holding an umbrella. I’d be lying if I said that college was idealistic and that it won’t bring times where you question life itself. I speak from experience and have experienced a number of days where I didn’t want to get out of bed because my life seemed to be oversaturated with equal parts of suck and fail. You might watch with a sense of helplessness as you fail an important class and come to the realization that you’ll only be able to pass the class if you get close to a perfect score on the final. You might get stood up on dates and watch as good friends unexpectedly drop out or transfer to other schools. You might get into car accidents and heated screaming matches with your parents and/or friends. You might spend summers unemployed and Saturday nights dateless. You might do something careless that lands you in the hospital or causes you to lose a friend. You might wake up one morning and find yourself strongly questioning your choice in major, your religious beliefs, or even your identity. You might find yourself having to stay in school an extra year or having to temporarily drop out because someone in one of the offices overlooked something or gave you bad advice. You might have to unexpectedly attend the funeral of a pet, grandparent, or even a close friend. Life can be completely unfair and sometimes it even has a nasty way of rubbing salt in the wound. The Buddha once said “Endurance is one of the most difficult disciplines, but it is to the one who endures that the final victory comes” and he was absolutely right. There will be times when life doesn’t seem worth living at all but you simply have to press on and stay strong. Like paper, you might want to crumple under all the stress and pressure but, also like paper, being crumpled up doesn’t destroy us.
10. Diversity truly is the spice of life. For me, this is the most important lesson that I’ve learned in my college career. Six years ago I never thought I’d be interacting with as many different kinds of people like I am today. Getting to where I am today did require getting out of my comfort zone a large number of times. There are times where I’m the only white guy in the group or the only person with my particular set of political and religious beliefs but I feel that I’ve been richly rewarded for choosing to wade waist deep in uncomfortable situations time and time again. One of the quotes that I live my life by is one by the novelist Nathaniel Hawthorne. He once said “It contributes greatly towards a man’s moral and intellectual health, to be brought into habits of companionship with individuals unlike himself, who care little for his pursuits, and whose sphere and abilities he must go out of himself to appreciate.” Never underestimate what you can learn from other people, especially those who are completely different from you. The world ends with you. Your world is a small place is you keep to yourself but if you put yourself out there and interact with other people, it steadily expands. The more people you let into your life, the bigger the world becomes, the more you learn, and the more opportunities appear before you. College life often takes a level of boldness that most are not accustomed to. In high school you’re in an environment where things are rarely unfamiliar but college is much different. Suddenly you’re around people from different states and even different countries who have belief systems, interests, and mannerisms that seem almost otherworldly to you and, for a lot of freshman, this is extremely intimidating. It’s a brave new world but it’s one worth exploring. Many are afraid of losing themselves in this jungle of cultures but, based on my own experience, I would argue that this is the best way to discover yourself and what you’re capable of.
College is a stretch of life that can last up to a decade and each year will bring its own set of opportunities to take advantage of and obstacles to overcome. There will be awards to win, friends to make, and goals to meet but there will also be heartbreaks, hangovers, and horrible test grades to recover from. There will be times where you’ll feel like you’re on cloud nine and other times you’ll feel like you’re in the middle of a **** storm (just remember to carry an umbrella and keep your mouth closed). People will come and go but they’ll all have some sort of impact on you. You’ll learn from your triumphs but also from your defeats. There will be classes that you’ll breeze through without effort and those that you’ll have to dedicate late nights to studying for to pass. You’ll see the best and worst in not only the people around but yourself too. You’ll stumble and fall more times than you’ll care to but you will also find ways to adapt and pull through. You’ll experience new things but don’t forget the experiences that have gotten you here and helped shape who you are today. College involves a lot of learning not only through books and classes but from living life and meeting new people. To some, college may seem like a rude awakening to the onset of adulthood but the awkwardness and mystery of it can be readily cleared up with enough effort and determination. As my dad told me all those years ago when I started my own journey “welcome to some of the best years of your life” and I hope you all enjoy your college experience for all it’s worth.
Fatmanonice, August 9th, 2012
“Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.”-Albert Einstein
“Education begins the gentleman, but reading, good company and reflection must finish him.” –John Locke
“One of the greatest and simplest tools for learning more and growing is doing more.”- Washington Irving
In a little less than a week after I post this essay is Freshman Move In Day at Southeast Missouri State University. I will go about with my usual routine for the day. I will wake up at about 4 AM so I can get there right at 5 and I will have my traditional Move In breakfast of applejack and coffee. Because the parking lot will soon be stuffed with cars of parents and students alike, I will then walk about half a mile to Towers (the main dormitory on campus) with at least a gallon of water in hand (last year I had three). The sun will barely be out and I will be among the first people there. Until about 4 in the afternoon I will help carry everything from TVs to refrigerators to entire wardrobes to any of the 10 stories in each of the four Towers that have dorm rooms. In that time I will meet a large number of freshmen with all sorts of expressions on their faces. You can see the anticipation and the apprehension. You can see the freshman who can’t wait for their parents to go back home but also those who wish they could go back home with their parents. You can readily tell the freshmen who will probably get into goofy shenanigans on a regular basis and those that will more than likely only leave their room for classes and food. The parents are just as varied as the students and it’s equally entertaining watching them too. Some of the parents simply radiate with nostalgia as they quietly reminisce about their college years while others don’t shut up about “the good ol’ days” until they’re back in their minivans. Some of the parents are so excited that they can barely contain themselves while others merely act excited as you can see the sheer amount of grief in their eyes as they let go of their “little” girls and boys. Freshman Move In Day is a big day for parents and students and rightfully so. The future holds many exciting prospects but also challenging obstacles and daunting uncertainties for all of them and it’s a wonder to watch it every year.
It’s hard to believe that nearly four years have passed since I first came to SEMO. I’ve been a college student for six years now and during this time I have collected a lot of fond memories. One of those fond memories is when I moved into the apartment where I still live to this day. I was a transfer student who had spent three semesters living at home going to a community college and one semester studying in England. Despite my experience overseas, I didn’t know how to handle having an apartment or being away from my parents. I was a largely antisocial person who didn’t have any idea of where I was going in life and simply felt like my life was in cruise control. I only went to SEMO because I was too lethargic to look anywhere else and they had a program for the degree I wanted (or thought I did at the time). The day I moved into my apartment was filled with a number of emotions. After I ate dinner with my family I remember the moment before I got into my car to start my newfound life as a “real” college student. My dad shook my hand and told me how proud he was. He told me that this was merely another stretch of track on the road of life that I’d need to overcome and that he hoped that, like his college days, these would end up some of the best of my life. My mom barely said anything most of that day. Her enthusiasm was largely swallowed up by how much she’d miss me. She’d chime in with short comments and smile, all the while being noticeably heartbroken. My older sister kept a brave face the whole day until I got into my car, supposedly becoming a waterfall of tears during the whole two hour trip back to St. Louis. Filled with sadness and excitement, I did a donut in the parking lot of the restaurant before peeling out and heading straight for my apartment. That night, I slept in an unfamiliar bed in an even more unfamiliar apartment. “So what happens now,” I thought as I stayed up most of the night thinking of all the possibilities that could unfold while I was at SEMO.
Overall, college life has treated me well. I’ve been a participant in over two dozen clubs and organizations and have met a countless number of people who would not only enrich my life but forever change it. Like in high school, I still don’t have much school spirit but that doesn’t stop me from enthusiastically expressing how much I love all the hustle and bustle of college life. It’s like the Odyssey and Rumspringa all rolled into one. I’m not exactly Van Wilder but I think there are few people out there who would full heartily endorse the college experience more than I would which is why I’ve decided to write this essay. I was originally holding off on this essay until I had graduated with my masters but, seeing how much I’ve changed and experienced in the past year alone, I’m sure I’ll have plenty of new material to discuss when the time comes. As the title suggests, this essay is meant to not only be encouragement for incoming freshman but for all college students who have ever found themselves sitting with their head in their hands and wondering to themselves “what the Hell am I doing here.” I couldn’t begin to list all the things that I’ve learned since starting college so I’m going to do my best to talk about the ten most important things that I’ve learned that I think every college student should know.
1. College isn’t high school so don’t treat it like such. I put this one at the top of the list because, without a doubt, this is the most common pit that freshmen fall into. Despite living away from home and accepting a ton of new responsibilities, people generally approach college the same way they approached high school. Here’s a few things you should know right off the bat: the classes are harder, the professors will rarely act as safety nets if you don’t study or if you’re failing a class, your parents are no longer around to pick up after you or get you out of jams, and you will be held accountable for your actions like nothing you’ve experienced before. If you ignore these things, college will knock you flat on your *** faster than Rush Limbaugh being offered a chair by Mike Tyson at the National Democratic Convention. Not to scare you off but the number of freshmen who drop out by being overwhelmed by this by the end of their first year is more than 50% nationwide. College will eat you alive if you think you can stay up until 4 in the morning every night playing World of Warcraft or that your roommates will tolerate you eating their snacks when they’re not around. If you think college is continuously like Animal House, you’re sadly mistaken. There is plenty of time for frivolous fun, flamboyant flirting, and a number of other f words (frequent frolicking, for example) but you’ll quickly learn that you’ll have to find balance between work and play unless you want to spent 8 years getting an associate’s degree. The infamous “Freshman 15” is totally avoidable if you teach yourself moderation and solutions for most problems can be found simply by swallowing your pride and asking your professors and parents for help. College is your first step towards becoming an independent adult and, like the first steps of a baby, it’s going to be awkward and off balance and you might wind up crying from frustration or personal injury but, if you can overcome this, not much will get in your way.
2. Don’t be afraid to reinvent yourself and take risks while doing it. Going to college is getting a fresh start in every sense. Everybody starts as a clean slate so don’t mindlessly whip out your accomplishments and stories from high school because, quite frankly, nobody cares including potential employers. Unless you’ve landed a scholarship because of it, nobody cares if you were valedictorian or the captain of the monkey chasing team. Nobody cares about that time you bent over to pick up your pencil in your Creative Writing class your sophomore year and let loose a fart with the force of a small hurricane that sounded like a whale sneezing that earned you the nickname “Foofy McFartypants” until you graduated. Both good and bad, it all becomes virtually irrelevant. Tired of being known as the quiet mousy girl that blushes beet red when anyone talks to her? Now you have the chance to change that. Always wanted to pick up the harmonica but your parents didn’t let you because they found it annoying? Now is your time to do it. What most college students usually don’t catch onto until their junior year is that things are unbelievably open ended in college and that the social pressure to fit in and be cool that existed in high school is almost entirely gone. Some days I like to go to class barefoot or wear a top hat just because I can. I also like to take cat naps on the school fountain on warm days and dress up for Halloween, again, for the simple fact that college offers that much freedom to do so. Did people chastise you for liking Harry Potter in high school? Not anymore they won’t. Another awesome thing about college is that you can be into whatever you want to be into and be as enthusiastic about it as you want. A big part of college is learning how to define yourself so get out there, make some friends, and strive to be the person you always wanted to be.
3. Being a college student doesn’t automatically make you smarter or better than anyone else. I remember during my orientation as a transfer student I sat through one of the most uncomfortable lectures I had ever had the displeasure of being a part of. I had just transferred from a community college and sat through a lecture where a chemistry professor snidely told the audience how privileged they were for going to a state university instead of wasting their time with a “bunch of idiots” at a trade school or community college. He then carried on about how stupid these people were and how they were essentially “pretending” to be college students. Seeing my own experience and how my mother had an associate degree from the school I transferred from, I shrank in my chair feeling overwhelmingly ashamed… and classes hadn’t even begun yet. I felt embarrassed as a number of the students chuckled arrogantly to themselves and I knew based on that these would be attitudes that a lot of them would carry for years to come. I hate to admit that I carried this attitude for a short period of time in 2009 until, after greatly expanding my horizons in the community, I was made to eat humble pie where I saw firsthand how people without degrees were just as important to the wellbeing of society as people with masters’ and doctorates.’ It’s important to remember that college takes a lot of time and money to complete; things that a lot of people are in short supply of. Instead of looking down on the mechanic who works on your car or the waitress who serves you food, be thankful for the work they do. Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses and chances are you’ll sooner or later get knocked off your high horse by someone who’s unexpectedly precocious in a topic you know nothing about. That being said, don’t even enter the high horse stable to begin with and avoid prejudging people based on their education to avoid looking like a horses’ ***.
4. College isn’t just about going to class. For nearly two years, this was something I didn’t believe at all. I believed that my only reason to go to college was to get a degree as quickly as I could so I could move on with my life. My daily schedule played out almost exactly the same day in and day out. I would go to class and either go right back home or go to work. I wouldn’t talk to anyone and I had virtually no friends. My social life was nonexistent and looking back it was a very empty time in my life. I was learning things in class but I was a level of socially awkward that could only be fittingly described as socially ********. Despite mindlessly acing my classes, I barely remember anything from them and most of the truly important stuff was retaught again and again in different classes each semester. I forgot to have fun and, regrettably, I don’t have any friendships from my community college days or from my studying abroad and most of my memories from those days were me being alone. I started college in the fall of 2006 but it wasn’t until the spring of 2009 that I started having a real social life not only by participating in club events but actually putting myself out there and meeting new people. Campus life offers an absurd number of opportunities for socializing, learning, and fun. From barbeques to seminars to plays to concerts to dances to intermural sports to on campus jobs to a goofy number of clubs and organizations there’s absolutely no reason to not find something to distract you between classes. Put yourself out there and you’ll be amazed at what you’ll find. Also, don’t think your experience should be limited to just the campus itself. Get out in the community every once in a while whether it’s to volunteer at an animal shelter, have a Nerf gun fight with friends at a local park, or relax with a steaming cup of java at a local coffee shop or throw back a few at a local bar while listening to local bands. As John Lennon once said “life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans” so instead of having tunnel vision for a degree, find the time to goof off, relax, and simply enjoy life.
5. If you think all the learning in college happens in the classroom, you’re missing out on a lot. The rocker Frank Zappa once quipped “if you want to get drunk and laid, go to college. If you want to learn, go to a library.” He’s right in a lot of ways but I seriously doubt that any high school principal would ever rattle off this gem of a quote at a graduation ceremony without having a mob of angry parents rush the podium. I would say that most of the important learning doesn’t even happen in class but by simply living life. It may sound overly idealistic but a lot of things can be learned about life by learning how to do your own laundry, how to use a mattress as a toboggan down a flight of stairs, and how to attract the attention of the cute blond in your College Algebra class without violently throwing up on yourself. Important things can be learned while working a part time job, being part of a club, or simply getting into cheeky shenanigans with your friends. This isn’t to say that your studies aren’t important but book smarts don’t hold a candle to street smarts and people skills. Also, I’d highly recommend taking Frank Zappa’s advice and giving the library a visit from time for some recreational reading instead of just for late night, caffeine fueled cramming and kinky snogging sessions in the private reading rooms. Got a random question about something? Find a book or Google it. Don’t limit your learning to the classroom and treat life like an ongoing learning experience. Gandhi once said “live like you were to die tomorrow and learn like you were to live forever” and if you treat your college experience like this, you’ll find it significantly more rewarding then just trying to get a degree.
6. YOLO is for idiots; Carpe Diem is for the inspired. Recently a new slang term has come out on the internet that utterly irritates anyone who has an IQ greater than that of a peanut called YOLO. It’s short for “you only live once” and, as you’d expect, it’s largely advocated by the same people who endorse going on weekend benders and performing stunts that you’d only see on America’s Funniest Home Videos and *******. It’d actually mean something significant if, say, these same people were using it to encourage people to do things like find ways to travel to other countries, reach out to people different than themselves, go after their goals, and help out in the community but, no, it’s for the people who are honestly debating whether they should have sex in dance club bathrooms with total strangers or if, instead of one Whopper, they should order two at the drive through at Burger King. A lot of college students don’t take risk assessment seriously until reality head butts them in the stomach through a brick wall. Most don’t learn about their alcohol tolerance until they stupidly down two pitchers of beer or several Solo cups of “jungle juice” in less than hour and find themselves spraying barf like a beef stew cannon or about their workload limits by draining the life out of themselves by taking 18 credit hours in one semester and sleeping an average of three hours a night. YOLO’s philosophy is to keep doing these things because, after all, you only have one life so why not spend it repeatedly doing the same moronic stuff over and over again? Life forces you to eat enough turd sandwiches as it is, especially in college, so there’s no reason to go back for seconds. This is why I much prefer the Latin phrase “carpe diem” which simply means “seize the day.” Each day bring new opportunities that are in sight like low hanging fruit on a tree so why not reach out and grab it? Want to join the rock climbing club but are scared you won’t fit in? Carpe Diem. Want to try to launch a community project but are worried that no one will support you? Carpe Diem. Want to ask someone out on a date but the idea of getting rejected is almost too much to bear? Carpe Diem. Make the most of your college career by taking risks but understand that running for student government has a much greater potential for opening new doors than seeing how many energy drinks you can chug without going to the hospital.
7. Professors can be friends too and they should be. This is one of those concepts that freshmen have a really hard time understanding and seniors wish they had learned as freshman. Coming out of high school, you probably mostly view teachers as mini-dictators of their own classrooms and you probably spent more time in high school dedicated to simply avoiding extended interaction with them. The less you talk to them, the least likely you’ll land yourself in detention, right? Compared to high school teachers, most are pretty intimidating. It’s not every day that you run into teachers that have beards that strongly resemble tumbleweeds, dress in tie dye shirts, tell dirty jokes and swear unapologetically, or keep pet boa constrictors in their office. Some are gruff and some are outright eccentric. Some are as straight edged as the Pope while others are so scatterbrained that it’s a wonder that they remember to put on pants in the morning and it’s debatable if they do shrooms or not. A funny thing happens between high school and college though. Detention disappears, there’s no bell to announce the beginning or end of classes, class attendance becomes voluntary for lectures for most classes, and if you decide to a skip a class to sleep in or study for a test in another class that day, most professors won’t bat an eye. College students are given a new sense of liberty that most don’t start to grasp until their sophomore years. The rigid authoritarian position that teachers typically have in high school is now flexible, making professors much more approachable and personable. You might get to know your professors on a first name basis or be asked to share a lunch with them in their office but you actually have to make an effort towards it. Some can become mentors, some can become friends, and some can even become like parents or grandparents. Not only can you learn a lot from them but if you’re looking for a job once you graduate or a foot in the door for graduate school, they’re important allies to have so don’t wait until your final semester of your senior year to actually start talking to them outside of class.
8. All who wander are not always lost but, even if you are, don’t fret over it too much. I can almost guarantee that at least once in your college career you’ll find yourself stopped dead in your tracks while walking back to your dorm or car and ask yourself “what the Hell have I gotten myself into” or “what on Earth am I doing here?” There will be times where you’ll openly admit that you have no idea what you’re doing and are simply ad libbing through life. This happened to me exactly four times over the five years I was trying decide what to study and earn my bachelor’s degree and a minimum of several thousand times in the past year while trying to earn my master’s . In late 2008, I was in such despair over it that I strongly considered suicide because I thought I had messed up too much to ever redeem myself. It was particularly rough because I didn’t realize how commonplace these feelings were and how I was surrounded by classmates who secretly wanted to change their majors or hated the job prospects of their major. My personal timeline is probably just as muddled as most college students. I started off as an art major in 2006 before becoming a biology major just a semester later when I came to the startling conclusion that I absolutely sucked at art. I then decided to become an evolutionary zoology major in the fall of 2008 before coming to the conclusion in early 2010 that I had more of an interest in working with people than animals but I didn’t know what to do with that. Just a few days before New Years’ 2011 I decided to go to grad school for mental health counseling. After trying to pound a square peg in a round hole in the counseling program for two semesters, I talked to a career counselor who recommended that I look into public administration which is what I’ll be starting this semester. There were many incidents where I was confused, lethargic, and outwardly hating life but I still managed to pull through. I’ve come to be thankful for all this because of all the things I was able to experience and all the people I was able to meet thanks to my indecisiveness. The bottom line is that you should feel free to explore and not get bent out of shape if things don’t go exactly according to plan. Remember, only about a quarter of people who get bachelor’s degrees end up in a job in their field and it takes the average college student six years to get a bachelor’s degree.
9. When it rains, it pours and there will be a lot of times when you won’t be holding an umbrella. I’d be lying if I said that college was idealistic and that it won’t bring times where you question life itself. I speak from experience and have experienced a number of days where I didn’t want to get out of bed because my life seemed to be oversaturated with equal parts of suck and fail. You might watch with a sense of helplessness as you fail an important class and come to the realization that you’ll only be able to pass the class if you get close to a perfect score on the final. You might get stood up on dates and watch as good friends unexpectedly drop out or transfer to other schools. You might get into car accidents and heated screaming matches with your parents and/or friends. You might spend summers unemployed and Saturday nights dateless. You might do something careless that lands you in the hospital or causes you to lose a friend. You might wake up one morning and find yourself strongly questioning your choice in major, your religious beliefs, or even your identity. You might find yourself having to stay in school an extra year or having to temporarily drop out because someone in one of the offices overlooked something or gave you bad advice. You might have to unexpectedly attend the funeral of a pet, grandparent, or even a close friend. Life can be completely unfair and sometimes it even has a nasty way of rubbing salt in the wound. The Buddha once said “Endurance is one of the most difficult disciplines, but it is to the one who endures that the final victory comes” and he was absolutely right. There will be times when life doesn’t seem worth living at all but you simply have to press on and stay strong. Like paper, you might want to crumple under all the stress and pressure but, also like paper, being crumpled up doesn’t destroy us.
10. Diversity truly is the spice of life. For me, this is the most important lesson that I’ve learned in my college career. Six years ago I never thought I’d be interacting with as many different kinds of people like I am today. Getting to where I am today did require getting out of my comfort zone a large number of times. There are times where I’m the only white guy in the group or the only person with my particular set of political and religious beliefs but I feel that I’ve been richly rewarded for choosing to wade waist deep in uncomfortable situations time and time again. One of the quotes that I live my life by is one by the novelist Nathaniel Hawthorne. He once said “It contributes greatly towards a man’s moral and intellectual health, to be brought into habits of companionship with individuals unlike himself, who care little for his pursuits, and whose sphere and abilities he must go out of himself to appreciate.” Never underestimate what you can learn from other people, especially those who are completely different from you. The world ends with you. Your world is a small place is you keep to yourself but if you put yourself out there and interact with other people, it steadily expands. The more people you let into your life, the bigger the world becomes, the more you learn, and the more opportunities appear before you. College life often takes a level of boldness that most are not accustomed to. In high school you’re in an environment where things are rarely unfamiliar but college is much different. Suddenly you’re around people from different states and even different countries who have belief systems, interests, and mannerisms that seem almost otherworldly to you and, for a lot of freshman, this is extremely intimidating. It’s a brave new world but it’s one worth exploring. Many are afraid of losing themselves in this jungle of cultures but, based on my own experience, I would argue that this is the best way to discover yourself and what you’re capable of.
College is a stretch of life that can last up to a decade and each year will bring its own set of opportunities to take advantage of and obstacles to overcome. There will be awards to win, friends to make, and goals to meet but there will also be heartbreaks, hangovers, and horrible test grades to recover from. There will be times where you’ll feel like you’re on cloud nine and other times you’ll feel like you’re in the middle of a **** storm (just remember to carry an umbrella and keep your mouth closed). People will come and go but they’ll all have some sort of impact on you. You’ll learn from your triumphs but also from your defeats. There will be classes that you’ll breeze through without effort and those that you’ll have to dedicate late nights to studying for to pass. You’ll see the best and worst in not only the people around but yourself too. You’ll stumble and fall more times than you’ll care to but you will also find ways to adapt and pull through. You’ll experience new things but don’t forget the experiences that have gotten you here and helped shape who you are today. College involves a lot of learning not only through books and classes but from living life and meeting new people. To some, college may seem like a rude awakening to the onset of adulthood but the awkwardness and mystery of it can be readily cleared up with enough effort and determination. As my dad told me all those years ago when I started my own journey “welcome to some of the best years of your life” and I hope you all enjoy your college experience for all it’s worth.
Fatmanonice, August 9th, 2012
“Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.”-Albert Einstein
“Education begins the gentleman, but reading, good company and reflection must finish him.” –John Locke
“One of the greatest and simplest tools for learning more and growing is doing more.”- Washington Irving
but having to do hard work, earn my way, and work for everything I want to achieve helped me where my peers failed. That and my focus on getting my degrees rather than "the experience."
[COLLAPSE="But yeah, my first semester of college was freaking crazy! Let me list the crazy stuff that happened... just in that semester alone!:"]-I started trying 100% at all of my classes, again, due to me not feeling "limited" by high school. In high school, I rarely tried my hardest, because I have the ability to get good grades on tests easily. But yeah, first thing I did when I got all my classes and books is I read all of my books and reading assignments. Cover to cover. I took dozens of pages of notes.
