SSBM: Academy of smash (Wow! It's updated!)

[Lightning Snake]

Exellent as usual. But who is in control of Tom Nook's body? .... Wait a second could it be...........................................................




Possible Spoilers

Cackletta?

 

[NESSBOUNDER]

If you go back much earlier in the fic, you'll find that they met Kirivia in Flatzone. She was the seer who gave Ness the Chandler's wishbone a a gift of thanks for saving her race from O2 and Master Disaster.

...BEEEEEEEEEZO!!! (random Beezo approval #4.)

BTW, school starts for me in about three days and I won't be on the internet, cos we'll be driving back home. So it looks like you'll just have to get used to my weekend posts again! HAW!!

I hope you enjoyed my crazy update splurge. Half of it is in Kirby Khronicles, though...

why did they just stand there watchig him instead of doing something?

Because the're stupid. And stuff like that doesn't happen very often in Animal Crossing land. As for Ness and Fox, well how were they to know what Tom was going to do?

I feel like trying to do another update before I have to go! It's a big MAYBE though

 

[NESSBOUNDER]

CHAPTER 7: PART 7

As the mid winter snow fell gently outside in the dark night, there was one house in Fortown that still had its light on.
Pecan thanked her insomnia this time, as she prepared a warm drink of honey and brought it into her living room, where Ness and his friends were sitting around her double bed as K.K. Slider sang his songs.

Pecan: here, give this to him, it’s my grandmother’s specialty for soothing nerves, chipmunk.

Ness: great. Hurry, he’s having trouble breathing…

K.K: That’s K.K. Slider to you, Ness.

Ness ignored him and watched as Pecan approached the bloodstained bed with her cup, and tenderly poured some of the warm honey down Redd’s throat. Redd swallowed and closed his already slit-like eyes some more.

Redd: t…this is so nice of you to…t-(cough) to look after me like this…thank you…

Ness: we’re not done yet, Redd. Just relax and don’t try to talk. I really need to concentrate…

Fox: poor guy…he’s already lost a lot of blood. Tom Nook really dug that shovel deep…

Paula: right between his ribs. And he’s lucky his heart wasn’t damaged.

Pecan: I’m sure he’ll be okay. Daisy, please be a dear and go into my kitchen…bring a knife and help Adeline cut that tomato thing up into pieces big enough to fit into Redd’s mouth.

Daisy yawned and fought to stay awake. She tottered into the kitchen and came back with a carving knife. Adeline had just finished painting her Maximum tomato and made it drop from the canvass, as real as could be.

Adeline: this should work. I don’t know how much life this will restore into him, but anything’s worth a try.

Hours passed as Ness and Poo healed and healed, and Adeline painted. Gradually, Redd’s wound began to close…and by the time the sun slowly began peeping out from over the misty hills, not even a scar remained on Redd’s furry body. Ness and Poo collapsed on the ground, exhausted from their healing efforts, while Fox and Pecan helped Redd to his feet.

Redd: I…When I get back home and tell this story, nobody will ever believe me…it’s a miracle! A miracle! You guys are my heroes…

Fox: just feel lucky that we were here at the right time. I bet Tom would have left you to die in the snow!

Redd dizzily got to his feet and sat down in one of Pecan’s chairs. Pecan visibly flinched.

Pecan: NO! NOT THAT CHAIR, DON’T DIRTY THAT CH….oh fine, chipmunk. You go and sit there, I’ll just get Jonny to buy me a new one!

Redd: oh, I don’t feel too well…all weak…*sigh* But I’m alive, and that’s all that matters to me.

Ness: aw man, I’m pooped…

Fox walked over to Redd and stood in front of him. Redd turned to face him, with a grateful nod.

Redd: Fox McCloud, you are the best…the way you jumped in front of that psycho to protect me…I…uh…Thank you so much.

Fox: just doing what anyone would have done…

Redd: no. Everyone was just staring and watching…nobody would have wanted to put themselves in danger, well, nobody except you. You saved a brother fox’s life without any thought of your own, and truth be told, I wouldn’t have done the same for you. You’re a true…a brave hero and I’m just…well, a dishonest, desperate coward. I wish I was more like you…Starfox.

Fox was too choked up to reply. He nodded and walked over to Ness, who was sucking on a snow cone.

Ness: wanna snow cone?

Fox: no. Uh…Should we be going now?

Ness: just stay and relax, Fox! We’ve been up all night, and now I’m tired!

Paula: yaaah…let’s sleep.

Redd seemed to feel like talking, so Fox went back over to keep him company.

Redd: when I was just a little cub, my parents disappeared leaving me and my twin sister to fend for ourselves. We managed to survive by begging for food until I took up my furniture selling business. Only last year, my dear sister got married and had a litter of four. But just three days after that, her husband caught a deadly fever and passed away, leaving her to look after them all by herself. I’ve been trying to earn enough money to keep them all going, but it’s not easy when nobody trusts you.

Fox: I’m sure you’ll be able to support your sister and her kids.

Redd: you’re just saying that to be kind…but I’ve been lucky here. There are a lot of nice animals in this town who actually buy my stuff. However, if Tom Nook starts blowing the market like that…then I’m done for…

Just then, the door opened and Jonny came walking in, wearing a white and blue suit with a giant red “L” on his cap.

Jonny: oh Redd, you’re better! That’s great. I went into your emporium and helped myself to some of the stuff you were selling there. Oh, I left all the money on your bench. I may be prude, but I still pay for things! HAHAHAHA!!

Redd: oh, it’s my favorite customer Jonny…why weren’t you here to help me get through the worst night of my life?

Jonny: sorry Redd…but you see…I was out fishing for bitterlings. You know…so I could sell them and get a nice fat bag of bells to see you out of town as I always do. No doubt you’d be alright, I mean with Ness and his friends here and all.. HAHAHAH!!

Redd: that’s kind of you, but you should have been helping me!

Jonny: well to tell you honestly, I was feeling a bit queasy. Blood makes me sick, you know…

Daisy: pardon? And just how do you think I felt?

Jonny: …anyway, guess what? Tom Nook isn’t buying anymore! He’s just selling. Everything for one hundred bells or less. I had to release all my fish!

Redd: how does he expect to make a profit from that?? He’s going to totally ruin me! I’ll never be able to come here again!

Ness: I’m not sure it’s a profit he’s after. Hmm…Jonny, are any of the villagers out yet?

Jonny: well it’s too early for that. If you come outside, we can go looking for them…

Ness: right, I’m going out. Fox, you stay here with everyone else and look after Redd.

Ness and Jonny walked out into the crisp morning air and crunched across the snow covered ground as Jonny stopped ever now and again to shake trees.
He ended up being stung by angry bees about four times, and when they got back to Pecan’s house, his face resembled a bloated flesh-coloured grapefruit.

Jonny: we’we back, and I goyt thtung by beeth…four timeth. Outh.

Daisy: wow, if my memory serves me correctly, you’ve been stung by bees at least ninety times this year. A new record!

Jonny: yeth, ‘tith twoo. Whoop whoop!

Pecan sighed and went to fetch Jonny an ice pack, with grumblings of “this place is starting to look like a hospital!” and pretty soon, his face was back to normal.

Jonny: it’s strange that nobody is out of their houses yet…I swear they’re normally out earlier…

SMASH!!!

Ness jumped to his feet to hear Pecan and Daisy squeal loud and long, and Redd gasp with fright.

Jonny: what in the blazes…?

Ness turned to see an axe handle stuck halfway through Pecan’s front door. With a jerk, the handle disappeared, and then came crashing into the door again, sending splinters cascading across the floor.

Pecan: MY DESIGNER DOOR!

Fox: holy crish! What’s going on??

Daisy: h-HEELP!!

The door finally burst off its hinges and revealed four animals standing outside, each armed with a piece of sharp or blunt furniture. Snake, Stu, Kiki and Blaire slowly came walking in, carrying their weapons with blank stares on their faces.

Snake: must…kill…

Kiki: death…die…death…

As Daisy, Pecan and Redd cowered in fear. Ness drew out his baseball bat and held it out in a defensive position.

Paula: they’re all in a sort of trance!

Ness: I think I can see that, Paula! Now just concentrate on the task at hand…those weapons are sharp!

Snake suddenly lunged at Ness with his axe. Ness leaned back and the blade swished harmlessly above his face. He sprung back up and struck with his bat, but Snake dodged nimbly to the side and swung the axe again. This time, Ness had to duck down and roll across the floor. His roll, however, put him right at the feet of Stu, who promptly began battering him with a green chair.

Ness: agh! Ouch!

Stu: die….die….

Ness grabbed the chair’s leg and twisted Stu to the ground, he turned around and saw Blaire coming at him with her egg beater. Luckily, Paula bashed her unconscious with her holy frying pan.

Ness suddenly heard Daisy scream. He looked to his right and noticed Snake cornering Daisy and about to strike with his axe. Redd had jumped in the way and was trying to wrestle the axe out of Snake’s paws.

Ness threw his bat and hit Snake on his head. Snake lurched from the blow and threw the axe, just as Fox illusioned in front of Redd and Daisy and grabbed the falling weapon before it could hurt them.

Pecan was nowhere to be seen. Jeff and Mr. Game and Watch were taking on Kiki now. Ness spun and hit Stu with the chair, and pretty soon the battle was over.
Snake, Stu, Kiki and Blaire lay twitching on the ground.

Ness: wow…there is definitely evil afoot around here…and I’m starting to suspect Tom Nook and his cheap furniture…

Snake: uh? What am I doing in Pecan’s house, lying on the floor and why does my head hurt?

Fox: you really don’t remember what happened?

Snake: no…what, did I do something bad? I didn’t like…sleepwalk in here or something, did I bunyip??

Just then, Pecan came charging through the door, accompanied by Adeline and officer Copper the police hound.

Pecan: THERE!! THESE PSYCHOS WERE TRYING TO KILL US ALL!!

Copper: hmm…so I see…but it looks like you beat them up first, so I’m unfortunately going to have to arrest you all on charges of battery.

Ness: but it was all in self-defense!

Copper: self-defense or not, you’ve committed battery and you’re going to have to be arrested.

Redd: excuse me officer, but just WHAT ABOUT THESE GUYS WHO BARGED IN AND TRIED TO KILL US?? That’s break and enter, beastslaughter and battery all in one!

Daisy: boo hoo hoo…

Pecan: Copper…you can’t…I mean WE’RE the ones in trouble!

Fox: yeah! You can’t convict us! We’re not guilty! What about when Tom Nook stuck a shovel in Redd’s chest? Where were you then?

Copper: shut up, fox! I didn’t ask for you to speak, anything you say will be used against you in the court and as far as I’m concerned, shifty vulpines like two you aught to be taken into the town square and lynched for being born! Darn, I HATE foxes…

Officer Copper didn’t stay conscious for much longer. Fox, Redd and Jonny jumped onto him and beat him senseless with his own gun.

Fox: right, now that we’ve taken care of that sh*%, I say we go and pay a visit to Tom Nook.

Everyone walked out into the morning sunshine and tasted the crisp 10: 00 air just as the clock chimed. Redd turned to Fox and shook his paw.

Redd: I shouldn’t stay around here any longer…thanks for your help guys…and I can’t believe I actually got to beat up Copper! He’s always so nasty to me whenever I come here.
I honestly can’t thank you enough for saving me. I’ll always remember you wherever I go.

Fox: yeah. You too.

Jonny: and I’ll always be willing to buy your stuff. See you later, Redd!

Redd: Here’s a little something I’d like you to have, Fox…I hope you do something about Nook! See ya! Crazy Redd loves you all!

(Fox got the Swiss file!)
Redd: you can use that Swiss file to rasp through anything. I hope you can find a use for it, but I’m afraid that’s all I’ve got. Bye then!

Fox, Ness and Jonny waved to Redd as he walked out of the acre.

Jonny: right…now let’s go and see Tom…

On the way to Nookington’s, Jonny passed Camofrog’s house. He stopped and knocked on the door.

Camofrog: go away! If you’re a freak, then bug off, I ain’t coming out.

Jonny: Camofrog, it’s me!

A little peep-hole opened on the door, and an eyeball looked out.

Camofrog: well so you are…you’re not one of THEM, are you Jonn?

Jonny: no. Let us in and tell us more.

Camofrog opened the door and let everyone into his room, which looked like an army camp. He was a frog with army-camouflage skin, and he wore a H.Y. E. shirt, which looked terrible on him.

Camofrog: so Jonny, what brings you an’ your friends here, ten-hut?

Jonny: we’re trying to find out what’s up with Tom Nook?

Camofrog: what’s up? WHAT’S UP??? I’ll tell you what’s up! He’s evil!! EVIL I TELL YOU, ten-hut! An’ that black furniture he’s been selling is evil too!

Ness: black furniture?

Camofrog: yeh, He sells it real cheap. And anyone who buys that stuff an’ uses it becomes a FREAK! I seen it with my own eyes! Ten-hut!

Fox: so that explains the violent villagers!

Ness: yeah! I knew Tom Nook was up to something! I say we go and see him NOW!

K.K: nobody seems to notice me. I think I’ll just…y’know…melt into the background and disappear…

And he did.

Just then, the door opened up. Ness jumped, because he’d forgot to open the door, but it was a false alarm.

Gracie: oh hello there…what a terrible house, but I love your bod! Hm mh mhh!! Um…just letting you know, that THIS VILLAGE SUCKS!!! Because just not moments ago, three idiots with tools came and busted up my awesome car! Those chunks! Do something Jonny!

Ness: I think we’d better hurry over to Nook’s…things are getting bad…

@#%^#$%^$#

Ness and Jonny lead the pack, and as they neared Nookington’s Ness began to explain what was happening.

Ness: I think this furniture Nook is selling is brainwashing the villagers and making them evil. Either Tom Nook is not Tom Nook, or he’s gone over to the dark side like Specll did. There’s only one way to tell for sure…

Before Ness could get close to the shop, a shadow swooped down in front of him, blocking their path.

Ness: oh no…now we’ve got another villager to beat…

The shadow stepped slowly into the light to reveal…BLATHERS!!

Jonny: BLATHERS?

Blathers: kiiillll….hooo, I say…kiiiiillll…

Ness: okay, Blathers is now evil. Seems he likes furniture too…well we can beat him...Let’s GO!

No sooner had Ness given the command, Blathers shot up into the sky, wielding a sharp parasol, and came spearing down towards Fox. Fox wavedashed backwards and dodged the move, so Blather’s parasol broke on a rock.

Ness: well he’s unarmed now… let’s get him!

Evil Blathers, however, had a few more tricks up his sleeve. He crossed his huge eyes and fired off twin laser beams through his glasses. The beams just missed Mr. Game and Watch, and now Blather’s was moving his eyes outwards, forcing everyone to either run or jump to avoid them.

Ness: WHAT THE??? HOW DOES BLATHERS HAVE POWERS LIKE THAT???

Paula: Ness, he’s not like the other villagers! Blathers has been significantly improved by whoever’s brainwashing him!

Blather’s flew at Ness’s face with his talons outstretched, Ness blocked with his bat, smacking Blathers to the ground. Blathers got up again and placed his wings out to his side, and began spinning like a top. He eventually started going so fast that he looked like a buzz saw, and that’s just how he acted, shooting at Paula and nearly missing her.

Now Blathers was airborne again. He started shooting laserbeams from his eyes like a fighter jet. Ness tried to use PSI magnet, but was damaged instead.

Mr. Game and Watch tried to use a parachute, but blathers swatted him out of the air, stunning him.

Paula tried to hit Blathers with her pan, but he swooped her, knocking it out of her hands.

Fox: Take this, hoot head!

Taking out his blaster, Fox fired at Blathers, bringing him down to the ground, where Adeline was waiting with a scribble she’d hastily drawn. It turned out to be a high-explosive paperclip (jumbo size) and blew up all over Blather’s back.
The owl hooted and healed himself…yes, healed himself and began flapping his wings to create whirlwinds around him.
Ness dodged the whirlwinds by jumping, and planted his bat between Blather’s eyes.

The whirlwinds hit Fox and Poo, throwing them up into the air. Fox used his reflector to fall slower, so didn’t get hurt too badly. Poo, on the other hand, landed on Jeff and they both took damage.

Blathers shook off Ness’s attack and countered with his Super Boring Dino Ramblings counter, making Ness fall asleep.

Fox: NESS! (Jumps over and protects Ness as Blathers starts charging up a massive beam of energy)

Blathers fired the beam, and Fox reflected it right back in his face.
The evil museum keeper hooted angrily and began shooting off laser fish from his eyes, which homed in on everyone, and bounced off Fox’s reflector in a very strange way.

The fish caused severe damage to anyone who couldn’t block them. Paula and Mr. Game and Watch collapsed, and Jeff and Poo were on heavy damage. Now Blathers began charging up a final, huge fish and fired it off. It didn’t go for Fox or Ness, it didn’t go for Poo, Paula or Jeff, but homed in on Adeline. At the last second, Adeline pulled out her canvass and blocked the glowing fish before it could hurt her…and what’s more, the fish stuck in her canvass.

Jeff tried to hit Blathers with his bazooka, but missed. So did Poo, who tried to slash him, but got swooped.

Adeline reached into the canvass and grabbed the huge laser fish in her hand, holding it like a projectile. She put away her canvass and pitched the fish at Blathers, bowling him over.

Blathers created the whirlwinds again, and one of them hit Poo, knocking him out, and the other got absorbed into Adeline’s canvass. Adeline grabbed the whirlwind in her hand and threw it back. Blathers wasn’t ready and it hit him, twirling him up into the air.
Fox took this opportunity to fire at Blathers, but the owl dodged and used his Boring Dino Ramblings counter, boring Fox to sleep. Adeline quickly scribbled up another object and sent it screaming towards Blathers. There was a big KERSPLODGE!! And Blathers fell to the ground, covered in curry pie and defeated.

Adeline: YAAAAY!! I DID IT! I DID IT!!

Fox: yaaawn…uh? Oh…you beat him!

Ness: man, how are we going to heal all our fallen friends? Adeline, can you paint up some healing stuff?

Adeline: can…but that will mean…I’ll be all out of PP!

Ness: you have Psychic Points?

Adeline: no, Paint Points…

Ness: oh…well that’s fine. You’ve done enough already. Take Poo, Jeff and Mr. Game and Watch back to Pecan’s house and look after them. Me, Fox and Paula will continue.

Jonny: what about me?

Ness: you go with Adeline.

Adeline nodded and began painting up her escape vacuum cleaner. Ness, Fox and Paula stomped over to Nookington’s and swung open the doors. (even though they were automatic.)

Tom’s son, Timmy Nookling, squinted at the visitors.

Timmy: dad…three customers…

Tom’s other son, Tommy Nookling, came wondering up to Ness.

Tommy: need anything?

Ness: yeah, we’re not buying, we just want to talk to your dad…

Tom Nook came jogging up to Ness, Fox and Paula, wearing his Nookington’s uniform. He stopped upon seeing Ness and Fox.

Nook: oh, it’s you…you’re not buying, are you? Then bug off!

Ness: listen up, Nook! We’re onto your game, and if you don’t fess up, we’re going to do something about it!

Tom Nook just stood there, grinning smartly. He shuffled back and took a remote control out of his “pockets.” The doors of the shop locked with a click.

Nook: well well well…Ness…Fox…and Paula! Superstars, the lot of you! Funny you should come here, to this pretty little town, where nothing happens…

Ness: who are you, and what have you done with the real Tom Nook?

Tom Nook smirked and walked over to a black couch that was on sale for 100 bells.

Nook: this furniture is specially designed by me...and it took me a while to get it right…to brainwash everyone who uses it to do my will…and my will is that of Giygas’s followers!

Fox: so you ARE a member of Giygas’s followers!

Nook: oh, no! Tom Nook isn’t…but I am…you see, I used to have a powerful body, unchallenged by even the most skilled warriors of my world. People feared me over all else.
But then came that day…when I was defeated by sheer luck, and only my soul survived.
I was luck to possess another body…a weak and stupid one at least…but I always remained fantastically powerful…HOWEVER…then…then I was defeated yet AGAIN by the same pair of meddling heroes who beat me before! I was furious as you could imagine…Then you defeated Giygas, Ness…again with pure luck. And now my spirit has been revived…of course, my body was not. So unfortunately I had to possess another…and this little raccoon was the best available choice for me. EYA HA HA HA HA!! BUT NOW I AM MUCH MORE POWERFUL THAN I WAS BEFORE!! I COULD DESTROY ANY OF THESE WEAK, PUNY ANIMALS IF I SO WISHED…but no. Giygas’s followers Boss wants us to do things differently. How frustrating.
But now…now I’m going to squash you lot like three ants! And then continue with my plot to transform all the animals in the Crossing dimension into killing machines! And once the Crossing dimension is mine…NOTHING WILL STOP GIYGAS’S FOLLOWERS…right Fawful?

Timmy Nookling stepped forward and tittered evilly.

Timmy: yes oh great Cackletta. This world will be Giyga’s follower’s lemon sundae. I HAVE FURY!!

Ness jerked back with surprise. He remembered Mario telling him tales of an evil witch called Cackletta, who’s power was unquestionable. He’d only been able to defeat her because of pure luck and coincidence. Ness new Mario’s powers rivaled his own, except for his PSI, which was useless in this dimension anyway.

Ness: C-CACKLETTA?

Nook: Eyahaha…now now, Fawful…I am no longer Cackletta…now you must refer to me as…NOOKLETTA!! EYAHAHAHA!!

Fawful: And I am also being possessing a weak and puny fink-rat such as this. The great Giygas revived my soul fish as well, and I am here, I am Fawling! HAHAH!!

Ness glanced to his left and saw Tommy Nookling cowering in the corner of the shop with fright. Obviously, he hadn’t been aware of Tom and Timmy’s possession.

Nookletta: this battle will be sharp and sweet. And afterwards, I will take my army of killer animals and get my revenge on Mario and that green guy…Lui-something for what they did to me!

Fawling: you will suffer the jam of defeat seasoned with the bread of suffering. And I will get my revenge on prince Peasley too! DOUBLE HELPINGS OF THE DEFEAT SANDWICH!

Nookletta roared and underwent a fantastic transformation as Tom’s body grew huge and scary with sharp claws and the whole deal. Lightning began to flash inside the building, destroying furniture. Fawling tittered and floated up into the air, a maniac grin spreading across his tiny raccoon face.

Ness: I think we’re in for a battle…

Fox: well, aren’t you the observant one!?
===========__________________
Will Ness and his friends be able to stand up to the might of Nookletta and Fawling? Or will they be forced to eat the jelly-butter mustard of doom? Find out next update of SSBM: Academy Of Smash!! (perhaps!)

 

[Lightning Snake]

Sorry Nessbounder. I've edited that post. Anyway another great updtate. Please update soon!

 

[MewtwoMaster2002]

Uh I don't know who they are -_-'. which games are they from? Great update.

 

[Pokemasterkatie]

YAY! Fawful! I started to figure out who possesed Nook before Cackletta and Fawful...er, Nookletta and Fawling, revealed themselves. MM2002, they're from Mario and Luigi: Superstar Saga(I told you I was playing that game, remember?). Love the game, but stuck at Teehee Valley(know the part where you have to Princess-sit Peach while doing a barrel puzzle? Yep, that's where I am). Both this game and Animal Crossing rule!

Lightning: Pikapika chu?*Then why haven't you rented it since like, last year?*

Me: Time traveled, and had a cockroach prob...

Lightning: (o^_^o);

 

[KingMewtwo1112]

LOl, Nookletta. I think that's one of the best villains in this fic yet. HILARIOUS ANIMAL CROSSING STUFF!

Wait, FRECKLES?!? Ugh, sorry if you like her Nessbounder, but i just.....hate her. SHE'S UGLY.

MM2002: Cackletta and Fawful are from Mario and Luigi: Superstarsaga, which I must go play now.

 

[MewtwoMaster2002]

ok It looks like people are making me jealous that I don't HAVE IT. Uh what do they look like? Sorry for asking another question.

 

[NESSBOUNDER]

No, I don't like Freckles, but I can bear her. My favourite animals right now have to be Daisy, Pecan and Kiki...even though Kiki's kinda creepy looking...

Internet Cafe's are choidley! But expensive. Doi...

As for Fawful and Cackletta...well Cackletta is an evil bean witch with green skin and pink eyes and sharp teeth and has a theme tune scarilly simmilar to Kotake and Koume from LoZ.
She wears a purple bow on her head, and a purple dress.

Fawful is just some freaky little guy in a red cloak with green skin, thick glasses and freaky teeth. Oh, and he looks like a mental nut case, and talks like one too.

Chow! I'm off to do some ARCHERY!!

(comes back and edits post.)

Actually, I never got to do any archery. We went to the beach instead and BOY, THAT IS SOME WINDY SH*%!!
(oh yeah...there were camels at the resort...and they stunk!)

 

[NESSBOUNDER]

CHAPTER 7: PART 8

Ness didn’t recall Mario telling him anything about Cackletta in terms of battling her. But it didn’t look like he had much time to think about it. Nookletta bared her fearsome fangs and stared at Ness, Paula and Fox with her pink eyes.

Nookletta: well are we ready to go, you pathetic heroes? I’m not going to stand around watching you gawgle at my scaryness…you are going DOWN!! EYEHAHAHA!! RAAAAARRRHHH!!!!

Lightning flashed and the room crackled with evil power. Nookletta’s terrifying form grew even larger and more imposing than before as she roared and the lightening flashed.
Ness couldn’t take his eyes away from the behemoth in front of him. He would have just stood there, staring if Fox’s scream hadn’t have brought him to his senses.

Ness: FOX?? ARE YOU HURT??

Fox didn’t reply. Ness couldn’t see him anywhere in the room. The deafening sound of Nookletta’s roaring filled his ears and he looked down to see a HOLE IN THE FLOOR, CRAWLING UNDERNEATH HIM!!

Ness shouted in surprise and jumped to avoid the black hole that shot under his feet. He landed and watched in awe as Nookletta churned out a continuous stream of bottomless pits and sent them creeping towards him and Paula. After ten seconds of frantic dodging, the lightning stopped and Nookletta’s body changed back to that of the normal Tom Nook, albeit with his pink eyes and funny ears.

Fox suddenly fell from above, landing on the ground with a noisy “THUD!!”

Ness: FOX!!

Fox: aah…my leg!! I…I feel like I’m being weighed down by cement shoes!

Nookletta: Eyaa ha ha ha! You’re not going to be moving around so freely now, Mr. McCloud! And that’s just a preparation for later…in the mean time, Fawling will deal with your friends.

Fawling giggled and jiggled hyperactively in the air.

Fawling: do you idiots of foolishness have readiness for THIS?

Fawling placed his tiny paws together and grinned a huge, toothy grin. His teeth began to glow, and with a loud “TZARRT!!” of crackling energy, he fired a slow, deliberate ball of thunder at Ness.

Ness prepared himself to dodge the beam, when it SUDDENLY INCREASED IN SPEED AND TOOK HIM COMPLETELY OFF GUARD!

Ness: AARGH!! (gets blown to the ground.)

Fawling: I HAVE FURY!!!

Paula: Ness, are you alright?

Ness: I’m fine…just concentrate on their next attack…

Paula turned back to Nookletta and Fawling. Nookletta raised her right paw, and a bolt of lightening came down out of nowhere and shocked Paula, Ness and Fox in that order.

Paula: ooww!! I think I’m starting to get this now…wait…

Nookletta raised her left paw now.

Paula: Fox! Jump!

Fox jumped and the lightening bolt harmlessly hit the ground beneath him. Ness jumped and so did Paula, and all three lightening bolts missed.

Nookletta: hmm…getting cluey, are we? Fine then…be that way.

Paula sprinted up to Fawling and hit him with a jumping fry pan smack, dealing some damage. Ness also attacked Fawling, and his bat seemed to inflict more damage than Paula’s frying pan.

Fawling: WHY ARE YOU GANGING UP ON NASTY ME? NO MORE, FINK-RATS!!

Fox now tried to hit Fawling with his flip kick, but he was so heavy that he hardly left the ground and ended up as a heap on the floor, right in front of Fawling.

Fawling: what a wasting…and now, as you tried to attack me, you floundered like a flounder, and therefore I shall be the one who’s attack it is! Ha ha ha ha!

Fawling countered by swooping Fox over and over again until he retreated on heavy damage.

Fox: aargh…I…can’t…stand…

Nookletta: oh you shouldn’t worry about standing, Fox…you’re going to have to worry about SWIMMING in a second! EYA HA HA HA!!

Nookletta’s body grew huge again. She roared and sent a hole scurrying towards Fox.
But this was no bottomless pit…this was a hole that was full of WATER!!!

Fox tried to jump over the watery pit, but it stopped right underneath him and with a mighty KERSPLOSH he sank beneath the wet wetness of the water.

Ness: NO!! FOX!!

Ness and Paula ran over to the hole to see Fox, weighed down by the heavy curse, struggling to escape his watery grave. Ness reached into the hole and, ignoring Nookletta’s roaring, tried to pull Fox out.

It was like trying to pull a lead weight from a swimming pool. Ness struggled and struggled and Paula even pulled him from behind as Fox thrashed around under the water with terror, desperately trying to swim to the surface so he could breathe.

Ness: PAULA!! LOOK FOR SOMETHING I CAN USE, LIKE A LEVER OR SOMETHING!!

Paula nodded and dashed off through the shop, jumping over Fawling’s swoops and dodging Nookletta’s swipes. After a little while she entered a store room saw something that could come in handy, grabbed it, and ran back to Ness.

Fox now had his hands around his throat and was jerking back and forth under the water with a look of panic and pain on his face. Paula set up the sandbag and lowered it into the hole like a crane. Fox just had enough strength left to climb up and put his snout above water, gasping gratefully at the life-saving oxygen.

Nookletta: hmmm, you’re just as persistent as those darned Mario brothers…well I suppose I’ll just have to deal with you carefully then!

Nookletta split into four Tom Nooks and stood there, grinning evilly.

Nookletta: which one is the real me? Do you idiots know?

Paula: there’s only four of her and three of us! We’ll find her easily!

Fawling: well perhapsing you might, if it were not for an awful nasty as me making things harder than normal!

Fawling landed and stood in front of Nookletta. Suddenly, Ness looked up to see a block floating over his head. He tried moving sideways, but the block followed him. Fox and Paula also had blocks over their heads. Fawling, in the mean time, had started a count down.

Fawling: five…four…three…

Ness instinctively began pounding the block with his Magicant bat. Paula and Fox saw him and did the same.

Fawling: two…one…one and a half…

Ness put every effort into smacking the block. He could feel something give way in its mechanism.

Fawling: one and half a half…one and half a half a half…

Nookletta: oh just get on with it, tool!

PooF!! The block above Ness’s head disappeared! Paula and Fox were still trapped under theirs, though, although Fox was getting there.

KAZAAMM!!! A mighty beam of energy shot from Fawling’s feet and began sweeping across the room. Fox cried out in fear and began pummeling the block above his head. It disappeared at the very last moment, and his heavy curse wore off, allowing him to jump over the beam. Ness also jumped it. Paula, however, had not disposed of her block. She tried to jump over the beam but the block knocked her down and she took serious damage as it swept over her body.
Fawling chuckled and directed the beam back. This time Paula got rid of her block and jumped it. So did Ness.
Fox tried to use his reflector this time…

SMASH!!! Fox’s reflector shattered from the force of the beam, which was a continuous projectile and therefore couldn’t be reflected. Fawling tittered away and floated back up into the air again.

Ness: Just ignore Nookletta! We’ve got to beat Fawling first! Use multiple attacks, and no PSI!

Fawling: you lilly-chicken of a liver.

Ness ran over to Fawling and used his Head hammer (DjC’d PK headbutt) about three times to inflict a fair amount of damage to Fawling. Fox then followed by using his chopper kick (aerial forward A) and Paula finished the assault by throwing her frying pan at Fawling and recalling it with her telekinetics.

Nookletta: are you cowards going to come for me of not? It’d probably be a good idea, you know!

The Nookletta on the right raised its left paw and everyone jumped to dodge the lightening. Then the Nookletta on the left grew huge and started churning out bottomless pits.

Ness: whoa! That allows her to attack four times!

Fox: (jumping over a hole.) no sh#%…

Nookletta #3 also grew huge, but this time swiped at Ness’s feet, causing him to fall over on his rear.

Finally, the last Nookletta grew huge and sent a solitary black hole right under Ness, and because he was still squirming on his bum, he fell down and ended up with a weight curse.

Fox: NESS!! NEXT SHE’S GOING TO TRY TO DROWN YOU, LIKE SHE DID TO ME!!

Ness: I…think I’m…*strain*…aware of that, Fox…

Ness looked at the scene before him. Three of the four Nooklettas were huge and in scary mode, roaring and causing lightening to flash around the room. He probably should think about getting rid of his weight curse…

Ness: attack all three of those big ones with your lasers, Fox!

Fox shot all three giant Nooklettas with his gun. All three of them melted into thin air and spewed forth a cloud of bat-like creatures which everyone had to jump to avoid. The last remaining Nookletta didn’t look pleased.

Nookletta: bah! Now I have to transform and wait a while to charge up my water hole…and by that time the curse will have worn off!! Drat you!

Ness and Paula turned and attacked Fawling, sending him plummeting to the ground with a “bonk.”

Fawling: nasty nasties!! I HAVE FURY!!! SNACK ON MY WRATH, FINK-RATS!!

Fawling’s eyes lit up and he opened his mouth and fired off two small, ghost-like beams of energy. The fiery little energy balls floated slowly over to Ness and before he could suspect a thing, SUDDENLY EXPANDED AND BLEW UP IN HIS FACE!!!

Fawling giggled and burped out two more fiery sprites. These ones ventured over to Paula, who reached out and hit them with her pan. One of them bounded back, then changed direction and went for Paula again, while the other deflected over to Ness, who hit it with his bat.
This time, Paula’s energy ball bounced over to Ness and his bounced over to Fox. Fox reflected it and it crept back over to Fawling and blew up all over him.
Paula gave the last will-o-the-wisp a hit and it careened into Nookletta.

Fawling: ouch. I have pain!

Nookletta: Fawling you dope! I thought that move wasn’t counterable!?

Fawling: it wasn’t in theory…please excepting my sincere apologies…

Nookletta: you lot are starting to get annoying. However, this battle won’t last much longer…look at you! Your battle with Blathers has worn you down, and all of you are in critical condition! In fact, I may be able to defeat you all with my next attack! EYAHAHA!!

Ness glanced over to Fox, who was panting exhaustedly, his wet, matted fur was starting to tangle. Paula didn’t look very good either and Ness had to admit he was hurting…Perhaps Nookletta was going to defeat them after all?

KA-CHANK!!

The door busted open and Jonny and Adeline ran in. Ness had never felt so happy to receive backup in his life.

Jonny: ey-GAD!! I KNEW you were a monster Tom Nook!! (Grabs a shovel.)

Adeline: stand tall, Ness! We’re here to help!

Nookletta eyed Adeline and Jonny and transformed into her scary mode again, extended her claw and flicked them both back out the door.

Nookletta: Fawling…do something about these pests, please?

Fawling flew over and dropped a sheet of titanium in front of the doorway. Ness had no doubts now that unless he could find some way to heal himself, that he WAS going to lose!!

 

[MewtwoMaster2002]

Great update. Oh nooo Ness has to survive.

 

[PsiFlameMaster]

hey guys! I'm BAAAAACK!!! lol! I went to spend the weekend at my cousin's house (he's only 12 or so) with my little brother and sister, and we stayed up all night playing video games and watching movies. man that was fun! anyway, in all the comotion I forgot about coming back here to post so by the time Monday rolled around I hadn't posted and had to wait until now. Considering which, I'm off today from school! yay! that's why its about 9:40 a.m. and I'm posting on Friday. heh heh heh...

anyways, the update was great! weird battles and random stuff. yay! That was funny at the end, when they were going to get back-up and they just got tossed back out of the door. lol! but that means trouble for Ness. a Large Pizza from Earthbound would be helpful right now (it restores at least 300 health to everyone) since it doesn't use Psi. o well. i'll be seeing you guys around. bye!

 

[NESSBOUNDER]

CHAPTER 7: PART 9

Note from Author: I feel like confusing the heck out of all of you, so here I go. If you don’t understand what happens in this update, I don’t blame you.
========++++++

Far off, in a parallel dimension to end all parallel dimensions, there existed a bizarre world inhabited by spirits and wraiths. This remote dimension was so impossible to find that nobody knew about it yet. This world had connections with every other world in existence, but not in a physical sense. Because it floated between reality and non-reality, it influenced the flow of other dimensions and worlds in a subtle, yet definite way.

The Midriff System was not much different in appearance than many other worlds. It had grass, water, trees and life. But it was definitely not like any other world. It was amazingly unique in several, indescribable aspects.

In this strange land, a boy stood on top of a grassy hill, watching a clear sky and every now and again, glancing back at a glimmering castle in the distance.
Or at least he looked like a boy. He was, in fact, a spirit. His name was Ochre, prince of the land of Viessa.

Ochre’s skin was a dull earthy colour and appeared to be made of energy rather than flesh. Peering out from under his glowing, yellow fringe of hair were two piercing red eyes and a fair, elegant face. He looked to be about eighteen years of age, and wore fantastically embroidered clothes. Ochre stared down into the valley and sighed, his sigh causing someone in another dimension to start crying for no apparent reason.

Ochre: any moment now…and all this will be replaced with sadness.

A small breeze stirred the leaves of a nearby tree. Ochre grew wary of this sudden gust and turned around to see another spirit standing just a few meters away from him. This spirit was a bright gray colour and wore white clothes. His medium-length dark gray hair grew with a very distinct part at the forehead. This spirit had a sharp chin and blue eyes that seemed to never blink.

Ochre glanced over his shoulder at the figure. His face set in a serious glare.

Ochre: Gray, I thought you’d given up trying to prove yourself. You’re persistent, aren’t you?

Gray nodded in reply. He reached to his side and drew a long, glowing sword from a hilt at his side.

Gray: you’re not going to deny me another duel, are you prince?

Ochre: frankly, I don’t feel like it today.

Gray: I’m not accepting no for an answer. I bring news that may interest you, but I’m not revealing it unless you can defeat me in combat.

Ochre: again…

Gray: yes, whatever. I get a kick from fighting you, that’s all. Stop being so sour!

Ochre drew his sword as well. It was an earthy brown colour and glowed in the same way as Gray’s. Both swordsmen bowed to one another respectfully and began the duel. Ochre swung his blade at Gray, who danced aside and made a sloppy sort of stab at Ochre, which was easily dodged. Ochre parried with an overhead slash and it cleaved right across his opponent’s shoulder. Gray’s body disappeared and his robes fell silently to the ground. Ochre sheathed his sword and listened as a disembodied voice floated on the wind.

Gray: oh not fun! You beat me right away! No fun at all!

Ochre: it was your fault, Gray.

Gray: I’m still annoyed! I was expecting some real dueling here! Ah, never mind, I may have lost, but I’m not done yet!

A powerful gust of wind knocked Ochre off his feet and onto the ground. Gray’s voice cackled stupidly and taunted the prince for being careless.

Ochre: very funny. You blew me over. Now if you don’t mind, I’d like to hear what you have to say!

The voice of Gray sighed, causing a great, sweeping gust to scourge the landscape. Ochre covered his eyes and leaned into the wind…when it suddenly stopped and he fell on his face.

Gray: fine, I’ll tell you. Flame and his army are coming this way. I don’t think they’re about to start a war with you, but be prepared anyway.

Ochre felt uneasy. Flame was a powerful warlord who had conquered many lands. If Ochre couldn’t do something to befriend him, it could mean trouble for the land of Viessa.

Gray: well goodbye then, prince! I must be off now to wait for the next season to arrive so I can obtain my body again. Until next time then!

For a few seconds it became very windy, and then it died down. Ochre shrugged at Gray’s persistence. He was getting to be somewhat annoying.
Ochre decided to return to the castle for dinner, where his sister Fauna would be waiting to pile chores on him again…

“WAKE UP, PRINCE! WAKE UP!!”

Ochre opened his eyes wide with shock. His dreams of the past having been shattered once again. The forest around him was glowing with an orange hue. Fire! Their hideout had been attacked! Ochre got to his feet, and, fighting off his tiredness, drew his sword for real this time.
Indeed, Flame had been after new conquests. Viessa castle had been occupied, and Ochre and his soldiers had been forced to hide in the forest.
Ochre’s sister Fauna stood behind him and choked back the smoke. She brushed back her dark green hair and followed her brother.

Ochre: oh for once I wish they’d just lay off attacking us! Stupid, stupid, stupid!! Where is everybody?

Ochre stumbled out of his shelter and stepped right into the middle of a battlefield. His soldiers were doing their best, but overall, were too few in numbers to hold back Flame’s army.

Fauna: we are done for brother! But it is more important that you survive! I will create a hiding place from my life force that will allow you to escape! Perhaps, when my body regenerates we will meet again. But for now, I say goodbye!!

Ochre knew she was right. Fauna was an animal-like spirit with a small, cat-like snout, large ears and beautiful green eyes. She closed these eyes now, and the tiara that kept back her hair began to glow. With a flash of light, a crow that had been flying from the fire began to change colours until it was just a bright, bird-shaped portal of light. Somewhere in another dimension, somebody fell over because they’d stepped on a thorn.

Ochre: I’LL ALWAYS REMEMBER YOU, FAUNA! UNTILL WE MEET AGAIN…

Fauna’s body disappeared in another bright flash of light. The crow’s shape expanded and began to engulf Ochre, taking him to a safer place. An angry cry sounded behind him. Ochre turned around at the last moment to see a fiery-haired male spirit aiming a flaming arrow at him. The arrow was fired, but it never connected as Ochre was teleported to his sanctuary, where Flame’s wrath couldn’t harm him. Ochre felt great relief…



And somewhere in another dimension…somebody felt courage. Courage enough to stand up to his fears.

Tommy Nookling stopped shivering in his corner and looked up at the towering monster that had once been his dad, and the fiend who used to be his brother. He realized that the heroes needed help, or else they’d be crushed.
Tommy ran into the storage room, ignoring the noise and came out with a large, economy-size first-aid kit.
Now Tommy did the bravest thing he’d ever do in his life…

Tommy: Ness, Ness!! Take this to help you! Help you lots! I get more!

Paula jumped for joy, accidentally jumping over a ball of energy that Fawling had shot at her.

Paula: OH THANK YOU!! (Uses her kinesis to grab the medikit.)

Paula used the first-aid kit and was immediately healed with a twinkle of stars. (As they do in Animal Crossing…clothes and stuff.)

Nookletta was not pleased.

Nookletta: awful brat! Get him Fawling!

Fawling swooped Tommy, but the raccoon was ready. He reached into his “pockets” and took out a hu-freaking-mongous giant concrete mallet and brought it crashing down on Fawling’s head. Fawling fell to the ground, dazed as Tommy rushed off and came back dragging the second medikit, which was given to Ness.

Ness: yeah! I’m ready to rumble again!

Nookletta: curses to you! Aargh! Who would have thought such a little pest like him could foul up my plans! I WILL EAT YOU FOR DINNAH!! AAARH!!

Tommy Nookling managed to drag out the last medikit, when Nookletta grabbed him in her monstrous claw and threw him against a pond lantern, where he lay motionless.

Ness: AAH! TOMMY!!

Nookletta placed her giant claw over the first-aid kit and leered at Fox.

Nookletta: I dare you to try and take this from me. Hee hee hee…

Fox: Ness! I’m feeling so weak…I don’t think I can get it from her!

Ness: hang on! I’ll try…

Ness ran over and attacked Nookletta’s hand, but she swatted him over with the other one.

Nookletta: EYAHAHAHA!! FOOLS!! By doing that, you allow me to counter you easily! There is no hope for your stinking vulpine comrade now! I WILL CR-OWW OW OW!! OW MY HAND OW! STOPPIT!! THAT HURTS LIKE…OW!!

Tommy Nookling had stopped playing possum and was now bashing Nookletta’s hand with his concrete mallet. He put the item away and grabbed the medikit while Nookletta was waving her claw around in pain. Tommy ran over and presented the medikit to Fox, who gratefully used it.

Ness: thanks Tom! Now do us a favor and bash down that sheet of titanium!

Tommy: will do! Right away, right!

As Tommy got to work on the door, Ness, Paula and Fox all got back into fighting stances. Nookletta groaned with frustration and turned to Fawling, who was now on his feet.

Fawling: I HAVE DIZZINESS!!

Nookletta: I don’t care what you have! Look back there and see if there’s any more of those medical things. I can’t heal myself in this form!

Fawling: I will go looking then. (Flies away.)

Ness turned to Paula and Fox and explained his plan to them.

Ness: look. We’re lacking powerful, damaging attacks because we can’t use our PSI…so I say we improvise. You know the Brain Spiker me, Jeff and Poo pulled off earlier?

Paula: yah…

Ness: I’ve got one we can do now, here’s how it works-whisper, whisper, whisper…

Nookletta: are you idiots finished talking yet?

Ness: almost…right, you guys got that?

Fox: oh yeah! Let’s go then!

Paula: so I start by going like this…

Paula placed her frying pan over her head in a golf swing motion. Ness stood in front of her and did a short hop.

Paula: Hiyah!

Paula brought the frying pan swinging in an ark. Ness was positioned on just the right angle so he could jump off it, being propelled into the air. Fox took his cue and ran under where Ness would fall, standing on his head.
Ness made a perfect landing on Fox’s feet, and Fox kicked him up into the air again, at the same time adding a bit of twist to his lower body, sending Ness into a spin.

Ness now had so much momentum and speed, that he helicopter-chopped over to Nookletta, (with his bat out, so it acted as a propeller.) And hit her with a succession of damaging blows. Nookletta was bowled over by the power of the attack.

Nookletta: AH! YOU HEROES AND YOUR FANCY MOVES!! I’LL NEVER HEAR THE END OF IT!! ARGH!

Ness: Bat Blader!!

Now it was Paula’s turn. Paula threw her frying pan at Ness, who caught it and placed it on his head. Paula then took a running jump, bounced off Ness’s head while grabbing the pan and tucking it under her feet like a surf board. Last of all, Fox dashed under Paula and used his reflector, sending Paula back into the air and at the same time, electrifying the pan. (Because he reflectored her frying pan, she doesn’t get hurt.) Now Paula surfed her electrically-charged frying pan right into Nookletta’s head. Bwahm!!

Nookletta gave a howl and her defense dropped because of the attack. Paula hi-fived Ness and did a pose.

Paula: Hang Ten Pan!

Now Fox was ready to do his friends attack. He charged up a Fire Fox and aimed it towards Paula. Paula closed her eyes and prepared to use her mental kinesis. KABOOM! Fox ignited and rocketed towards Paula, who stopped him mid-move with her mind, and directed him, still flaming, at Ness, who was going to spin him around until the fire was contained, and turn Fox into a ball off fire, which he’d then send flying over to Nookletta.

However, Ness was not as good with kinesis as Paula. Half-way through the spinning process he dropped Fox, causing him to roll across the ground and hit Nookletta with an imperfect Vulpine Blaze.

Nookletta: we’re getting feisty, aren’t we? Well lah-de-dah! Fawling, could you find any medikits back there?

Fawling: not one. I has been looking hard, but to no luckiness…

Nookletta: aw, poop…this isn’t working…I’m on horrible health, and so are you!!

Fawling: I will use my SUPER MOVE!!!

Nookletta: hmm…risky, risky…but it’s not like we have a choice, is it?

Fawling: I HAVE FURYYYY!!!

Fawling bared his teeth and charged up two gigantically huge balls of energy. They pulsated, and glowed and slowly crept towards Ness and his friends, balking and stopping, making it incredibly difficult to determine what they were going to do.

Ness: watch it…

Suddenly, the balls began twirling around each other very, very fast. Just at that moment, Nookletta raised both her paws and three bolts of lightening came crashing down. Ness was lucky to have seen this attack coming and he jumped. Fox and Paula were distracted by the twirling energy balls and both got shocked. It was right at this moment that the energy balls combined into one huge, BIG, BAD BALL OF ENERGY and flew right at Ness.
Ness screamed, took out his bat, and smacked the energy ball with all his might. He hit it so hard that it split in half again and was reflected back at Nookletta and Fawling, detonating with a titanic BOOOOOOOMMMM that destroyed every last remaining piece of furniture in the shop.
When the smoke cleared, Ness opened his eyes to see Nookletta and Fawling lying on the ground, defeated.

Ness: ….I think we did it.

Fox: I think you’re right…

Paula: OH YEAH! CELEBRATE!!

Tommy: yeah! Yah! Right!!

Ness, Paula and Fox all started doing their victory dances, unaware that Fawling and Nookletta were twitching spastically on the ground.

Noolkletta: i…it’s not over yet, idiots! I’m not half done with you yet!

Fawling: I have rebornation!

Ness stopped boogying and turned slowly, just in time to see Nookletta cough up a giant purple cloud of steam. At least it looked like steam, until it transformed into one of the most freakishly creepy beings Ness had ever seen. The purple demon had bright orange eyes and a pink tongue hanging out of its wispy fangs. It appeared to have pointed ears on the top of its head. The monster cackled and flexed its huge clawed hands, which suspended from its cloud-like arms, protruding from its cloud-like body.
There were no legs apparent.
Tom Nook’s body lay on the ground, unconscious, but not dead.

Cackletta: DON’T THINK YOU’VE WON YET! I MAY NOT BE IN CONTROL OF A HOST ANYMORE, BUT NOW I’M MORE POWERFUL THAN EVER!!! EYA HA HA HA HAAAA!!

Fawling coughed up a purple cloud as well. A shape began to gather above Timmy Nookling and it transformed into a weird little ghostly man wearing a pink costume with blue and yellow spikes running along his arms and making a frill around his neck.
Fawful tittered and flapped around excitedly.

Ness suddenly felt small again. This was going to be a tough battle for sure.
_______--------------________

 

[MewtwoMaster2002]

Great update. It's not confusing.

 

[PsiFlameMaster]

the update wasn't confusing at all. in fact, i like the way you added a whole other plot line on the side that made on tiny difference in the universe Ness was in, giving him a chance to win against insurmountable odds. im not sure if you're going to carry that other story line any farther, but im ok either way. one thing I really like about this fic is the way you came up with all those different attacks from normal EarthBound items (the Brain Spiker was just plain AWSOME).

BTW, can Ness still use his Psi Teleport? i was just wondering since all of their Psi powers are at least only one hundredth of their normal status in terms of power.

anyway, as i said before, great update. I'll cya later. bye!

 

[NESSBOUNDER]

No, I don't think I'll "continue" with Ochre's story in a sense...but it's safe to say you havn't seen the last of his world.
Oh, yes, Ness can still use PSI teleport because it only takes 2 PP to use. So in AC world it would take about 4 PP. Nothing too hard on the brain.
Yes, I wanted to do something different. A straitght-out battle with Nookletta would have been too predictable for me to post.

 

[NESSBOUNDER]

CHAPTER 7: PART 10

At Pokemon World, Deoxis felt a stab of annoyance run through his body. Spiteshade ceased to produce a signal in his mind.

Deoxis: they defeated her…those disgusting rebels. How I loathe them. That is one Ruler of the Night destroyed, and one army lost! SYLPH!!

Sylph happened to be walking down the hallways, and heard Deoxis scream inside her head.

Sylph: coming, coming…is it something I’ve done or something I have to do?

Deoxis: don’t be a smart-alec. Spiteshade is dead and her army deserted us! Those rebels annoy me!

Sylph: she’s dead? CELEBR…uh….that’s terrible. She shall be avenged, I’m sure.

Deoxis: bring me Aygrinn from Byter’s army. I want to talk to him.

Sylph bowed and glided out the room. Byter and Spinner were waiting just outside the doorway.

Byter: well? What was it about?

Sylph: they killed Spiteshade.

Spinner: CELEBRATE!!

Byter: ding dong, the wicked b*#$% is dead…

Sylph: she had that coming to her…but that’s one Ruler of the Night down. There’s only four of us left. You all know what happens if one more of us die.

Spinner stopped being hypo and stood as still as a statue, a grim look on his face.

Byter: yes…Deoxis might…

Sylph: and when there are only two of us left?

Spinner: …Deoxis will…

Sylph: and when only one of us is left?

Spinner and Byter: …

Sylph: then Deoxis will be desperate, there’s no telling what he’ll do. Without at least one Night soul, he won’t be immortal any more. So we have to be careful to stay alive. Not because of the fear of death, but also because of what Deoxis might do.

@#$%@#$^#$%^#$%^

Cackletta’s ghost cackled, her frightening image boring into Ness’s mind and clouding up his senses. He tried to remain calm, but failed spectacularly.

Ness: I’M GONNA WET ME PANTS!!

Fox: why? She’s not THAT scary…

Ness: DON’T ARGUE! I’M STILL GONNA WET ME PANTS!!

Cackletta: foools! I will eat you ALL FOR DINNAH!! YUM, YUM, YUM AND A BOTTLE OF RUM!!

Fawful: just like a peanut butter sandwich only crunchy!

Cackletta’s head began charging a humongous ball of energy in its mouth. With a “Bomph” noise, the energy ball floated slowly over to Ness and began lowering itself down towards him.

Ness: YOU AND YOUR BALLS OF ENERGY! (smacks it with his bat.)

The energy ball floated up into the air and came back down again. Ness hit it two more times and it exploded into some pretty lights.

Now Cackletta’s left arm sprang into action, lifting its middle finger and causing two will-o-wisps of fire to circle around Ness, Paula and Fox’s feet.

Fox: (jumping rapidly) WHOA, de WHOA!, de WHOA!

Ness: this (jump) is (jump) starting (jump) to get to me! ALL THIS JUMPING IS GETTING ANNOYING! HOW DOES MARIO DO IT!?

Cackletta’s right arm launched an assault now. Sending a small ball of thunder floating over to Ness. He whacked it and it floated over to Fox, who reflected it and it went over to Paula, who destroyed it with a bash from her pan.

Fawful: I HAVE FURY!! RRGH!! HA HA HA HA HA HA!!

A small antenna appeared over Fawful’s head. He fired a charge of electricity out of it that Fox reflected back at him.

BWHAM!!!

Ness turned around to see the sheet of titanium behind them burst open. Tommy Nookling stowed his concrete hammer and saluted Ness. Jonny and Adeline ran inside.

Jonny: I say! That was crass! What took you guys so….EEEK, IT’S HIDEOUS!!

Cackletta: huh. You’re not so hot yourself.

Jonny: excuse me, but Gracie says my body is hot.

Adeline: quiet! Let’s bash these guys!

Ness nodded to Fox and Paula. They positioned themselves and Ness launched into a Bat Blader, damaging Cackletta’s head.

Cackletta: ( ! )

Cackletta stretched out her arms and started doing her FLAILING ARMS COUNTER ‘O DEATH!! Nobody was familiar with this move and got severely bludgeoned by the rotating limbs.

Ness: OWIE!!

Fox: PAIN!!

Paula: you guys suck. You’re supposed to jump, duck, jump and repeat! Didn’t you know?

Jonny: my big head hurts.

Cackletta: and that is what you get for attacking my beautiful face.

Fawful: A SMACK ON THE BUM!!

Paula then attacked Fawful with a Hang Ten Pan. Fawful fell to the ground with the frying pan lodged in his head.

Paula: I’ll take that, thanks. (Robs Fawful’s unconscious body, removes the pan and runs back to Ness’s group.)

Ness: what’d you find?

Paula: …a keychain, some old candy wrappers and a dirty sock.

Fawful: I HAVE GROGGY IN THE HEAD!!

Fox: I’m going to try my Vulpine Fireball again, and don’t you stuff it up this time, Ness!

Ness was careful not to drop Fox this time. He launched the now-curled-up-flaming-fiery Fox at Cackletta’s left hand.

KABAM!! The move healed Cackletta’s hand.

Ness: WAH!!

Cackletta: idiot! My left hand is healed by fire! Everything else is weak against it!

Cackletta then realized what she’d said and felt really stupid.

Jonny: talley-hoe! All the way!

Jonny pulled a leaf out of his pocket. He placed the leaf on the ground, stood back and watched as it transformed into an EMI FIGURINE!!

Jonny: go, go, my Emi Figurine! Stand in front of us!

Jonny pushed the Emi Figurine in front of the party and stood there, smiling.

(Anime breeze.)

Ness: is that supposed to do anything, Jonny?

Jonny: NOPE!!!

Adeline: -_-‘ twit…

Adeline set up her easel and painted up a grenade. She then handed it over to Fox.

Fawful tittered excitedly.

Fawful: what a wasting…here is where the onion stops rolling, like a tootie bird filled to the brim with savory toothbrushes brought to a slow boil over someone’s hairy nose. I laugh at you, silly people! HAHAHAHAHA!!! See?

Fawful grinned, spun around in the air, and came plummeting down, sending slow shockwaves creeping under Ness and his friends. These were easy enough to avoid.

Cackletta cackled, and her right arm attacked with a stretching flick attack…and the Emi Figurine took the attack. Then her left arm attacked with spinning flames, which the Emi Figurine absorbed. Finally, her head fired off a big energy ball, which (surprise, surprise…) was blocked by the Emi Figurine.

Cackletta: EH? STUPID DOLLY! NEXT TIME I’LL SMASH YOU!!

Ness: Bat Blader! (SMAAAAAAASH!!!)

Cackletta’s right arm disappeared with a “poof”

Paula: Hang Ten Pan! (LUCKY!!!)

Cackletta’s left arm vanished.

Fox: KABOOM, YA FOOLS! Try out Foxy’s explosive special!

Fox sprinted over, jammed the grenade in Cackletta’s mouth and covered his ears.

Grenade: KABOOM, YA FOOLS! BY THE TIME YOU HEAR THIS EXPLOSION, I WILL HAVE EXPLODED! WAAAH!! I NEEDN’T HAVE SAID THAT, AND NESSBOUNDER TYPED ALL OF THIS WITHOUT EVEN HITTING CAPS LOCK!! WAAAAAAAAHH!!!

But nobody heard what the grenade said, because they had their ears covered.

Cackletta: you awful little person! That’s just not done it today’s society, I WILL TEACH YOU SOME MANNERS!! (Flailing arms counter.)

The Emi Figurine blocked the attack. Cackletta roared in frustration and SMASHED THAT STUPID ORNAMENT INTO MILLIONS OF TINY PIECES!!

Jonny: I never liked that Emi Figurine anyway. Here’s something else you can get rid of for me.

Jonny ran forward, threw in a leaf and ran back again. The leaf transformed into a Ranch Table.

Cackletta: YOU’RE STARTING TO ANNOY ME WITH ALL YOUR FURNITURE!!!

Jonny: oh, and this is for being nasty. (Releases a dace right on Nookletta’s head, and it makes a noise like when you throw one of Birdo’s eggs at someone in SSB:M.)

Cackletta: AHW!!

Jonny: DACE WILD!!! Oh, and this is just to annoy you. (Unleashes a swarm of butterflies on Fawful.)

Adeline: Jonny, stop and let us have a turn!!

Jonny: sorry.

Adeline set up her easel and painted the first thing that came to mind, a GIANT CANDY CANE and began sucking on the tip.

Ness: …I just can’t think of how that’s going to help us, Adeline…

Adeline ignored him and continued furiously sucking on the tip of the candy cane.

Fawful: I can’t see for all these silly butterflies! (Tries to swoop someone but misses entirely.)

Cackletta: MY ENERGY BALL WILL PWN YOU! (tries to energy ball Ness and Fox, but they hide under the ranch table and the move becomes useless.)

Ness DjC’d PK headbutted Cackletta’s head five times and it disappeared, exposing her heart.

Ness: that’s her weak spot! LETS’S POUND IT!!

Paula used a perfect Hang Ten Pan on the heart, then Fox took out his gun and began blasting away, hitting eight times.

Jonny: Here’s some more furniture…(sets up a bird bath.) And here’s my attack!

Jonny released a sea bass at Cackletta’s heart. The big fish connected with a “BAM!!” And Jonny let out a cry of “SEE? BASS!!” Not only that, but the Dace Jonny released earlier flopped around, damaging the heart as well!

Jonny: and this is for you. (Throws a fossil at Fawful and it hits him with a “doink.”)

Fawful: AGH!! THESE BUTTERFLIES ARE GETTING NASTY!!

Adeline now had finished sucking her candy cane to a DANGEROUSLY SHARP POINT!! With a savage cry, she drove the saber-like confectionery into Cackletta’s heart, doing fantastic damage. However, the brittle sweet broke.

Fawful tried to do something, but the butterflies got in his eyes and he hurt himself.

Cackletta’s heart began beating furiously. Her head and both arms came back and were healed to full health.

Cackletta: I HATE YOU!! (flailing arms counter.)

The flailing was different this time! Everyone was badly damaged, and Jonny was smacked into the wall, where he stuck like a tomato. -_0

Cackletta’s head then used a move where dozens of small energy balls began creeping towards the party. This was a move that was incredibly hard to defend against. It was confusing and stupid and annoying…and the birdbath and Ranch table blocked every single one of them.

Now everyone attacked Cackletta’s heart as best they could. Ness used Bat blader, Paula used Hang Ten Pan, Fox used a drill-to-flip kick combo, Jonny did something mysterious, the fish flopped one last time and then died, and Adeline painted up…A MIGHTY NUKE!!!

Adeline: WAH!! I’ve never managed to paint up a Mighty Nuke before! This is so awesome! WHEEE!!!

Adeline sent the Mighty Nuke screaming towards Cackletta’s heart, but at the last moment, Fawful dived in the way and took the attack. The top of Nookington's was also blown clean off from the resulting explosion. Everyone was thrown backwards by a sonic boom and into a pile of old furniture.

Ness: (on his bum.) now THAT was a big bang…

Fox: aah…I think my ear…it’s damaged.

And it was. Fox’s ear had caught on the point of a parasol and had been torn in half. It was spurting blood all over Ness’s face.

Ness: yick…here, use that shirt there to cover it up.

Fox winced and bandaged his ear with a shirt. Ness got up out of the rubble to see Cackletta recovering from the blast.

Ness: nothing broken, people?

Paula: nah.

Jonny: my pinkie is bruised.

Adeline: Mighty Nuke…what a stupid idea!

Ness: good, let’s…finish Cackletta! I can sense she’s almost done!

Ness was about to attack when he heard the unmistakable “HAHAHAHAHAH” of Fawful’s laughing. He looked up and saw Fawful floating down from the sky, covered in soot and ash.

Fawful: I HAVE FURY AND ALSO LOTS OF LUCK!! I don’t know how I survived that boomie, but I did none the same…so EAT MY ANGER as I fart in your hats!

Fawful didn’t actually fart in anyone’s hats. He sort of dived at everyone and then landed on the ground next to Cackletta. SUDDENLY, the ground beneath Fawful’s feet gave way and he fell into a PITFALL that Jonny had laid there earlier.

Fawful: I HAVE PANIC!!

Jonny then ran up and took out his shovel and began hitting Fawful’s head with it. For every time the shovel connected, Fawful’s head made a “1-Up mushroom” noise and spat up a bag of money. Finally, Fawful escaped from the pitfall and Jonny brought the shovel up and over, smacking him on the head.

Fawful: AAGH, AAGH, AAAAGH!! (fades into the air.)

Ness: well that’s Fawful we defeated…now there’s only Cackletta to go…

Ness ran up to Cackletta’s heart and DjC’d PK headbutted it three times, and it stopped beating.

Cackletta: NEVER! I SHALL NEVER GIVE UP TO IDIOTS LIKE YOU!! IT’S TIME TO SHOW YOU MY TRUE WRATH! IF I’M GOINT TO GO, THEN I’M TAKING YOU ALL WITH ME!!

Cackletta began turning brown. A horrible stench filled the room. Ness’s eyes began to water. He turned around to see all his friends choking and holding their noses.

Cackletta: behold: CACKletta!

Ness: CACKletta?

CACKletta: yes, CACKletta!

Fox: aaaauh, that STINKS!!

CACKletta cackled as Ness and co. squirmed around on the ground, choking. She would have succeeded in destroying them, hadn’t Jonny taken a can of toilet freshener out of his pocket and sprayed it around.

Ness: AAAAHH! WHAT IS THAT BEE-UUUUTIFUL SMELL?

Fox: like an angel wearing perfume!

Adeline: like men’s deodorant!

Paula: like something YUMMIE!!

Jonny: I, Jonny the Ninja warrior of all things smelly in a nice way, will purge the earth of this stinking blemish of scent! WAAAAHHH!!! I throw a roll of TOILET PAPER at thee!

Jonny threw a roll of tongue-print toilet paper at CACKletta, who screamed and was instantly WIPED down to nothing. Jonny got a stick, picked up the dirty roll, and brought it over to Fox.

Fox: EWW!! GET IT AWAY FROM ME!!

Jonny: burn it! BURN IT, FOX! USE YOUR FIRE!!

Fox: I am not burning that!

Jonny: oh fine…anyone want to burn this?

Ness: I…I…I’ll burn it…PK FIRE!!

Ness set fire to the dirty roll of TP and there was an ear-splitting screech as CACKletta’s spirit was destroyed.
Nobody had time to celebrate, because the burning dirtyroll stank so badly, that they all began to feel dizzy.

Ness: must…get…out…

Fox: oh well…(GAG!!) At least we beat…CackleeBLARP…bleah…

The fumes became unbearable and everyone blacked…browned out, their dreams filled with relief…and the pungent smell of burning FAECES!!

 

[PsiFlameMaster]

ya! great battle. I like the part where Jonny's furniture just blocks everything. "Cackletta: EH? STUPID DOLLY! NEXT TIME I’LL SMASH YOU!!" *snicker*

btw, for NESSBOUNDER and anyone else who likes EarthBound, have you ever been to www.starmen.net ? I suggest you go to the Fan Comics and the Flukes section. they're really funny!

o well. I'll cya later. by!

 

[MewtwoMaster2002]

Great update. Oh Oh I've been there.

 

[NESSBOUNDER]

Me too. I love the flukes! Hey, I aught to post a comic there!
Here's the next update.

CHAPTER 7: PART 11

Ness opened his eyes to find himself staring up at a blurry ceiling. Quick as a flash, he sat up and looked around to find himself lying on Pecan’s double bed, next to all his friends who had simply been crammed on due to lack of space.

Pecan: oh good, finally someone who wakes up, chipmunk…sorry about piling you all up on the bed like that, we didn’t have the heart to lay you on the floor.

The room was filled with animals all smiling and staring at him intently. Jeff, Poo and Mr. Game and Watch were also in the crowd, trying to shove their way over to the bed.

Pecan: my house will never be the same again! Oh woe to me, chipmunks…all these grubby paws…ICK! I flinch to think of it.

Fox sat up and looked around. His ear had been expertly stitched together.

Fox: what happened? I remember bla…browning out…

Paula: looks like we got rescued! Isn’t that cool? We are like…so lucky.

Tom Nook walked over to the bed and smiled at them pleasantly.

Nook: thank you for saving me, you guys! I greatly appreciate it, and Jonny, you get discounts at my shop all year round!

Jonny: OH YAY!!

All the animals in the room gasped.

Timmy: yep. Discounts all year round…right?

Tommy: right!

Ness hopped off the bed and was greeted by Jeff, G&W and Poo.

G&W: did we miss anything?

Ness: yeah…I’ll tell you all later.

Jonny: well this is fantastic! Not only did I help save the universe, I also got discounts at Tom’s store! BLISS HAS COME!!

Nook: …well…then there’s the thing about fixing my store…you guys DID blow the roof off, you know…

Jonny: @_@*

Nook: so you have to pay of 1342 000 bells. Think you can handle that?

Jonny: GET BUSTED!! I MAY AS WELL BUY ALL MY FUNRITURE FROM REDD!!!

Nook: now I know it’s a bit steep…but…

Just then, Blathers came in and everyone screamed.

Blathers: HOO!! Hoo I say! Are you all aware that there was a big explosion in acre A-1? Hoo! Fascinating.

Everyone stared at Blathers and he felt uncomfortable.

Daisy: …look, A spider…

Blathers: EEEE!! SPIDER!! EEEK! CREEPY SPIDER!! YUKKY, YUKKY, HOO! LEGS LEGS LEGS LEGS LEGS!! EEEEEEEEE!!! BILLIONS OF LEGS!! LEGS ALL OVER THE PLACE!!! HAIRY AND SCARY AND LEGS!! LEGS LEGS LEGS!! FAT LEGS, SKINNY LEGS, STUBBLEY LEGS I SAY!!! HOOO!

And as if on cue, a spider with one billion legs came gliding out from under Pecan’s desk. It looked like a fluffy bowling ball.

Blathers: (squeals in a note that’s never been recorded before. All the glass in Pecan’s house shatters.)

Everyone stopped reeling from the note and regained their composers again.

Fox: aaah…oh…that was almost as bad as Slippy when he tries to sing opera!

The spider with one billion legs glided out the door and was never seen again. Until the next morning, when Snake mistook it for a ball and tried to kick it, and it hissed at him. But that’s another story.

Blathers: OOOH! THAT WAS CREEPEAH!!

Ness: no it wasn’t! That was cool!

Blathers: …well perhaps it was a new species…

Paula nodded and hitched up her skirt to check a cut. Blathers squealed again.

Blathers: EEEWH!!! LEGS!! LEGS, I SAY!! LEGS LEGS LEGS LEGS LEGS LEGS LEGS LE…

Jonny: SILENCE!!!

Jonny hit Blathers over the head with a Mr. Flamingo that happened to be in his pocket. Blathers shut up and there was much rejoicing.

Kiki: this is so exciting! Real heroes in Fortown! Will you be staying much longer?

Ness: no. Unfortunately, we have to go somewhere.

Daisy: oh what a pity. We would have loved for you to stay!

Adeline: us too. But duty comes fir-

BAM!! The door burst open and Tortimer came walking in. He adjusted his specs, tapped his cane and came in.

Tortimer: I here by declare…uh…what was I going to say? Oh YES!! I here by declare…um…well anyway, I just got back from my holiday, and I found…Nookington’s in ruins and SIX WEEDS!! JONNY! THAT IS REVOLTING!! SIX WEEDS!! How could you get so sloppy??

It took a long time to explain everything to Tortimer, mostly because he was as deaf as a stone. But finally, he got the point.

Tortimer: oh you kids! Saving the world here and saving the world there…what’s next, wooly socks in summer?

Just as Tortimer said this, Officer Copper came bounding in with Officer Booker. They were holding BIG guns.

Copper: NOBODY MOVE AN INCH!! Wooly socks are going to be this summer’s fad, but THAT’S NOT THE POINT! GET DOWN ON YOUR FACES!!!

All the animals did as they were told. Copper pointed his gun at Jonny and Fox.

Copper: hahahaha…you were the guys who beat me up! You, the slimy fox, and you, the dirty fox-lover! IN THE NAME OF THE LAW, I AM GOING TO SHOOT YOU BOTH DEAD!!

Booker: I think that’s actually not legal…I think…

Copper: YOU THINK, YOU THINK!! You think too much! A LITTLE LESS CONVERSATION, A LITTLE MORE ACTION, DIP-TWIT!!

A disco ball descended from the ceiling, bathing the room in lots of little funky bits of light.

Copper: eh? Not the disco ball! We are powerless to resist the…

All the animals started dancing as a platform rose up in the middle of Pecan’s room, and a spotlight turned on, revealing K.K. Slider! Girls screamed and glitter flew as Totokeke winked and blew kisses. He hoisted up his guitar and placed it on his knee.

K.K: hey losers! This one’s for those two cops there…yeah, you guys…who just uttered some lines from a famous Elvis song! You dawgs rule! Here’s my latest one, K.K. Boogie down!!

K.K. Slider began playing on his guitar and singing in his funny little voice. The cops involuntarily laid down their guns and started dancing. Tortimer got down and did some funky breakdancing that would have put any hard-core rapper to shame.
---------------------=================================
K.K: ooooohhh boogie down, boogie down, boogie if ya will,
Boogie down, boogie down, if you’ve got the skill.
‘Cos boogie is a form of dance that you can do all night,
so BOOGIE, BOOGIE, BOOGIE and you’ll always do it right!
(howl)

Everyone: we boogie like it’s always spring, we boogie, but we rarely sing,
O.M.G. it’s so exciting, boogie lords can be so frightn’in, dancing ‘round all in the lightening, turning ‘round like a…uh…(?)
HEY, HEY, HEY!!!
(dum, dum, dum,)

K.K: boogie down, boogie down, boogie if ya can,
Boogie down, boogie down, like a DJ man!
When boogie is not popular, then I know that I will diiiie…
‘cos BOOGIE, BOOGIE, BOOGIE is the dance that’s fun as pie!
-----------------------------==============================

As the glitter rained and the animals boogied, Fox and Jonny used the opportunity to gather Ness, Paula, G&W, Jeff, Adeline and Poo and make a break for the door. Soon they were standing outside in the snow, shaking hands and saying goodbye.

Jonny: well that was lucky! Officer Copper might have fired, and hit your reflecor, Fox. Copper’s a turd, but this town needs him all the same. Well see you, guys! Good luck on your quest!

Fox: bye Jonny!

Ness: bye Jonny!

Adeline: yeah, what they said.

The heroes watched as Jonny sprinted off into the snow and kicked down someone’s snowman. The snowman gave a scream of “AAAAARH!!” and Jonny disappeared into the distance.

Fox: he was a good fellow…

Paula: indeed. Now Ness, can you trace Edward Hemorrhoid’s location?

Ness: (does a PSI check.) looks like he’s gone back to…to the Lylat System!

Fox: uh? But we’ve already been there!

Ness: doesn’t matter. Specll’s probably gone back to get something he forgot. This could be our chance to catch up to him!

Fox: rightyoh! Lead the way, sparky!

One PSI teleport later, Ness and his friends were once again standing in the bustling city of Cornaria. Fox had ingeniously used his reflector to slow him down this time, but everybody else came flying out of the portal and smacked into a bunch of tourists who just happened to be passing by.

Ness: hey! I’m a raccoon again! Oh, sorry sir. Take no notice of me…

Person: not that easy, seeing as you’re sitting on my chest!

Other person: sakes alive! Back where I come from…

Rawk berry: FFPRRT!!! DOY!!

Sound effects: S’me again. Do the slide!

G&W: hey! I wasn’t this kind of animal last time!

And he wasn’t. Last time, Mr. Game and Watch had been a proboscis monkey made out of paper. This time, he was a thin, tinfoil-like robot!

Fox: you’re no animal…can you explain this, Ness?

Ness: must be a fluke…uh…no dimensional rules I can think of explain this…

G&W: suits me fine. It’s really not that much different from being me back at home.

Fox: good, now le-

Fox’s communicator crackled to life. Because he had his hands at his side, the hologram of Slippy came out sideways behind him, scaring the heck out of Poo, who just happened to be standing right there.

Slippy: WHOA!! TRIPPY, YOU GUYS!! HOLD ME PROPERLY, FOX…HAHAHAH!! THAT CAME OUT WRONG. I mean…put the communicator right-way up. I’m getting vertigo like this. Which is strange, seeing as I’m only watching this on a T.V. screen!! HAHHHAHAH!!

The shrill laugh was getting unbearable. Fox gritted his fangs and pressed the “mute” button on his communicator until Slippy stopped laughing.

Slippy: Ahah…oh that was rich…anyways, we’ve been trying to contact you for ages, Fox! Something really important has come up at the great Fox, and you just have to come!

Fox: may as well. We’re in section DA-323 in Cornaria. Come and get us.

It didn’t take long before the huge shape of the Great Fox came into view, blotting out the sun and causing the locals to shake their fists at it in anger, grumbling about “noise pollution” and “disturbing the peace.”
Two Arwings came down and landed once more. With a screech.

Screech: OOOH YEAH! I love riding on those things! Seriously, I’d better get back to work before my boss fi…EEK!!

Sound effects: THAT’S RIGHT FOO! BIG DADDY IS WATCHING YOU! Now get back into my sound bites before I call in the spanking brigade!

The screech behaved itself very quickly.

The door of the Arwing opened up to reveal…Peppy and Slippy.

Slippy: HIIII!!! IT’S ME!! HAHAHAHA

Peppy: I may be senile, but I’m almost not deaf!

Slippy: HAHAHAHAHAH!!!

Peppy: actually, now I am.

@#$%@#^$%

Soon, Ness was sitting on a cushy chair in the Great Fox, looking at all the cool stuff and drinking something Peppy had given him. Paula, Jeff, and Poo were studying their animal forms and Adeline was a cat.

Adeline: this is such a weird experience! I can move my tail! This is fun!

Fox was also sitting down. Peppy stood next to him and was talking. Fox got impatient.

Fox: hey, so what’s this important thing you needed me for?

Peppy: …I can’t believe Specll was bad, and…uh? Important thing…OH YES! Silly me. Some news that will make you happy, we now have a new member of the Starfox team!

Fox: …is he a good pilot?

Peppy: she’s still learning.

Fox: ………………she?

Just then, the door swished open and Krystal came walking in and practically threw herself down at Fox, and began stroking between his eyes. Fox was like: (#_#)!!

Krystal: hi Fox…it’s so nice to see you again. I missed you after I left. I felt I hadn’t got to know you well enough, so I joined up to Starfox! It was easy, all I had to do was…

Peppy: …flash her…uh…what was it she did again?

Krystal: well anyway, it was easy to get in.

Fox: BUH!! BHUH!!! BUT you’re no…well…you CAN fight, I suppose…

Krystal: and I’m good with bandages, too. No robot can beat healing hands like mine…

R.O.B: THAT = OFFENSIVE TO I! Skimpy Vixen = stupid + dumb in the head.

Krystal: rowr…no need to get b*6chy, R.O.B…

Fox: yeah, yeah, yeah…can you just get off me, Krystal??

Krystal stared into Fox’s eyes and then let go of him and stood up. Fox immediately took up a less-than-casual position in his chair and nervously began talking very fast.

Fox: I must ask you to respect the mercenary code…and to read the contract properly before signing, there will be no partial nudity on this vessel, so cover up just a tad more, KAY?

Krystal: Fox! What do you take me for? Do you think I’m naked under this tribal skirt? Well I’m not. Look.

Krystal lifted her lap-lap and Fox flinched. When he opened his eyes, he was relieved to see that she was wearing a sort of bikini underneath that matched her bra.

Krystal: it’s all for decoration, but I had you fooled. Hee hee…

Fox: well that’s acceptable uniform, I suppose…

Ness: thank goodness for that, I was about to go off this drink.

Krystal turned and stared at Ness, as if noticing him and his friends for the first time. She walked over and somehow managed to make them all very nervous.

Krystal: you’re a cute little guy, aren’t you? Hee hee…cutie, cutie, cutie! I like cute little kids, they’re so cute…

Ness: @_@’

Fox: uh…so Krystal…you say you’re…

Krystal walked over to Fox and began tickling him behind the ears with her finger. Fox shivered with delight at the sensation.

Fox: mmmmm…that’s nice…up a bit…a bit more…

Krystal pushed herself closer and began stroking the fur on Fox’s head. He was drooling.
Ness decided to take the role as leader.

Ness: so uh…where’s Slippy?

Peppy: oh, Slippy? I think he went down into the dungeons to finish that game of Go Fish with Rupert. Those two play so nicely together. It’s heartwarming to watch.

Ness suddenly heard a faint cry of “go fish!! Hahahahah!!” coming from somewhere below him. Even though there must have been at least five-hundred tons of metal separating him from the dungeons.

Peppy: I feel sorry for Rupert some times, though…he asked me for some earplugs yesterday.

Ness was about to reply, when Fox yelped and jumped up out of his chair.

Fox: KRYSTAL!!!

Krystal: …what?…did I hurt you?

Fox: you were going to touch me where I don’t want to be touched! DON’T TOUCH!! You may stroke my fur, but no touching!

Krystal: …but I…

Peppy: take no notice Krystal, Fox is a chronic Gropeophobiac.

Ness: a what?

Peppy: a Grope-o-phobiac.

Ness: oh…right.

Fox: I AM NOT!! I just…uh…well we should be keeping a professional interaction between each other, that’s all! Mercenary code, part six, rule number seven clearly states that-

Peppy: yeah, yeah…you’re a Gropeophobiac and you can’t make excuses to cover it up.

Krystal: that won’t deter me from loving you!! Oops, silly me. Professional interaction only, I forgot! So Fox, I think you’re delicious.

Fox: (#_#)!!

Krystal started kissing Fox’s cheek. Well…not exactly kissing, more like small, gentle licks, but it’s pretty much the same.

Poo: unsanitary! Cover thine eyes!

Jeff: (blushes.)

Paula: WHOO!! YOU GO GIRL!! SHOW HIM WHAT YOU’RE MADE OF!

G&W: Paula!!

Adeline: heah ha heah haaah!! Fox and Krystal, sitting in a tree, K. I. S. S. I. N. G.! (Paints a love heart in the air.)

Ness: whoo…well I think we should be trying to find Specll and Pokey, not watching these two foxes acquainting themselves with one another…

Jeff: actually, Ness, I say we tour this marvel of technology and relax a bit before going back into action. We’ve just fought a great big battle, now let’s recover for a bit!

Ness thought for a moment. It would be nice to have some time off. After all, that is what they’d done on their last adventure. He remembered all the hotels they’d stayed in.

Ness: fine.

Everyone: YAAAAY!!

R.O.B.: change mode to=Partybot. Get=streamers + party poppers. FUNCTION=to own at [game] Pin the tail on the donkey [game] = pin near the butt. Produce = confetti + glitter.

R.O.B. started spewing out confetti and glitter, and began trying to pin the tail on a donkey. There were no donkeys, so he overloaded and pinned the tail on the wall instead.

Peppy: I thought Slippy fixed him…

@#$%#@$%

Down in the dungeons, Slippy and Rupert sat there, playing Go Fish. Rupert had a few red emperors and one flathead, and Slippy had one card left.

Rupert: do you have a…big eel?

Slippy: WOW!! HOW DID YOU KNOW?? YOU BEAT ME!! AGAIN!!

Rupert took the card and smiled. His bionic eye x-rayed the card and showed the eel on the other side.

Rupert: I’m just too skilled at this game, Slippy. Play again?

===========------------===============

 

[MewtwoMaster2002]

Great update. I don't trust Rupert cuz I don't know who he is.

 

[PsiFlameMaster]

*snicker* Krystal just won't leave Fox alone, will she? what forms did everyone have, agian? I forgot everyone except for Ness. lol! hey, Rupert's a CHEATER!!! I'm not sure about him since we don't know much about him, but I DO feel sorry for him because of Slippy's voice. lol! I'll be back later. cya!

 

[NESSBOUNDER]

In case you've forgotten, Rupert was a space pirate who Fox defeated and imprisoned. (in quite a cheezy manner, I may add.)
He made his appearance further back in the fic. He's a honey badger.

Ness was a raccoon, Paula was a squirrel, Jeff was a hamster, and Poo was a rabbit.

No updates 'till the weekend, but I *might* update my Pokemon fic...if you're REALLY lucky...

 

[MewtwoMaster2002]

Why did he become good all of a sudden? Also where are the Space Pirates from Metroid. Ridley was the only one that appeared.

 

[NESSBOUNDER]

Rupert always was a pretty nice guy for a pirate. They're still keeping him locked up, just Slippy plays cards with him. Y'know, because he might get bored and stuff.

I'll try and update today, and those space pirates will more than likely turn up as soon as we get to the metroid world.

 

[NESSBOUNDER]

OH YEAH, IT's ME BIRTHDAY!

CHAPTER 7: PART 12

For a washed-up mercenary cruiser, the Great Fox was actually very comfortable and had a fair few things to do. Ness enjoyed playing indoor golf, pin the tail on the donkey, toying with the big guns down in the weapons hold, and sitting in the hot spa until his body wrinkled up like a prune underneath his fur.

BANG, BANG, Bang!!! Ness was just staring at his wrinkled toes when the spa door was thumped loudly. He adjusted his shorts and walked over to look out the peep hole.

Ness: who is it?

Fox: you’ve been in there for ages! Get out, you’re going to miss breakfast! And I want a go.

Krystal’s voice rang out from somewhere behind him.

Krystal: I made scrambled eggs and hash browns! Modern cooking is so fun!

Ness: we always have hash browns! All the time! At every stop on this journey we’ve either had hash browns or pizza! Can’t I just have some less-greasy food for once? I’m getting chubby!

Krystal: we’re all out of salads though. Slippy used all our greenery to do his salad dance last night.

Ness recalled the horrible memory of Slippy’s attempts to entertain them on the night of their arrival. He had hung just about every sort of fruit and veg imaginable on his body and danced over some carrots. Ness’s huge brain still felt sore from the singing.

Ness: fine, I’m coming out.

Ness opened the door and Krystal came running in, dressed in a flowery bikini that clashed with her fur colour, and jumped into the spa with a SPLOSH!! The SPLOSH!! leaned over and tried to touch her up, and she hit it, and if felt rejected and it went back to Sound effects, crying.

Krystal: come on Fox! It’s really nice!

Fox blushed under his fur, and brushed down his bright blue beach shorts. Ness felt a pang of jealousy, just like he always did when he saw Fox without a shirt.

Ness: (to himself) I’m going to work out, and when I’m done, I’ll look just like Captain Falcon…wait…no, maybe I’ll stay fat.

Ness watched as Fox slid slowly and cautiously into the spa, sitting as far away from Krystal as he could. After a moment of staring at each other, Krystal began to edge around the rim of the spa to get closer to Fox. Fox countered by edging in the opposite direction, and so they sloooooowly began to chase each other around the spa, making no sound and smiling pleasantly the whole time.

As soon as he was changed, Ness went to the breakfast table and ate two or three hash browns, and then one apple that Adeline had drawn up for him.
Mr. Game and Watch and R.O.B. were playing a game where you had to stand on a mini turn table that was shaped like a marrow, (called the Whirl-a-marrow) and recite poetry with a rhyme for each rotation. It got quite hectic at times, because it had to make sense.

G&W: I fell down a hole (twirl)
And met this mole (twirl)
He was…uh ON THE DOLE! (twirl)
I..uh…um…bought him a foal (twirl)
And he just laughed and…(twirl)

Whirl-a-marrow: NAH-DE-GRAH!! YOU LOSE, LOSER!! GIVE THE OTHER SCHNONG A GO!! WEEEEEEEEEEEPP! Doot-doot-doot-doot-doot-doot…

G&W: I hate this game. I say we go after Specll and Pokey now, Ness.

Paula came in wearing her frilly pink jammies and yawned.

Paula: guess who overslept! I’m glad the rooms were air-conditioned, ‘cos this fur is sooooo hot!

Jeff: indeed. But this ship is amazing! Such technical work!

Poo: waah-waah-hipi-quaah-quaah talliwang! I welcome you all to my waking up sights!

Ness: there’s no rush. Specll and Pokey are probably going to stay here for a bit longer. Their energy patterns are getting more and more relaxed. I can usually tell when Edward plans to use his magic for teleportation because his power flares up 24 hours before it happens.

Slippy came bouncing into the room and turned on the big T.V. thing that was on the wall and changed channels with the remote. A dog dressed as a court jester came on, dancing and playing a banjo. The banjo went “tang-delalang-deland-delandoingdela-ngdeldg-delang-dela etc.” in a monotonous stream of noise. It wasn’t even music.
Everyone stared at the screen for five more minutes to see what would happen. Nothing changed, the jester was still dancing and playing his banjo in a constant loop of frustrating action that made Ness want to tear his head off.
Slippy turned to them with a big grin on his face.

Slippy: hiya guys! This is my favorite show! Half an hour of Bumble the dancing p*ss off! He wears a new costume every day!

Fox and Krystal came walking in. Their fur had been dried, but still appeared damp and filled the room with the not-unpleasant smell of…uh…damp fur. Fox eyed the T.V. and in a split second, ran over and changed the channel to a fat bear reading the news.

Fox: I HAVE TOLD YOU NOT TO WATCH THAT STUPID PROGRAM!! IT’S A TOTAL WASTE OF TIME, AND IT P*SSES ME OFF!!

Slippy: he’s supposed to p*ss you off. That’s why he’s called Bumble, the danci-

Fox: WHAT A STUPID SHOW!! (Throws down remote.) I can’t believe it goes for a whole…(checks T.V. guide)…a whole HALF HOUR!!

Slippy: but Foooooooooooo-ooooooxx…I’ve taped every episode! I even have the one where he turned up wearing a scuba helmet! THAT WAS FUNNY! HA-HA! HA-HA! HA-HA! HA-HA! HA-HA! HA…

The news channel suddenly switched off and the face of General Pepper came on. Fox jumped and saluted, despite still wearing nothing but beach shorts.
Slippy gasped and Peppy jogged over as well, wondering why the creepy general wanted with them this time.

Pepper: Greetings, fellows! I bet you weren’t expecting me to call a…ooohh, I see…I seem to have got you in the middle of an intimate moment, no?

Fox realized that Krystal was standing RIGHT BEHIND HIM, and had started massaging his pectoral muscles. He gave a wild, involuntary spasm and brushed her away.

Fox: NO, NO, Pepper, SIR! We were just having a beach party here in the Great Fox…hahahaha…er…you see, we filled the hanger with sand, and she was just putting some extra sun screen on…you know, the bright hanger lights could give you cancer, and…

Pepper: you don’t need to come up with excuses, Fox. Even you disgusting vulpine scu…uh, you foxes as solitary animals must need to have a little female company some times. I understand, but let’s get to the point, shall we?

Fox ignored his beating heart and the sick feeling in his stomach and nodded shakily.

Pepper: good. Well seeing as I usually hire you for most of my problems, feral, dirty fox that you a…UM, although you do cost a fair bit…and I was wondering…do you think you could take out a gang of killers for me? Your pay will be handsome.

Fox: I could try. So can you give us the name of this gang?

Pepper: …hmm…yes, yes I can. Does the name K. F. C. ring a bell?

It didn’t just ring a bell in Fox’s head, it rang a security alarm. Fox screamed at the mere mention of the gang’s name.

Fox: K.F.C!!!! KFC!!! OH GAWD, NO! NOT THEM!!! NOT THEEEEMMM!!!!

Before anyone else could react, Fox slunk low to the ground, his ears flattened back across his scull, and scurried into the pantry, locking himself in a cupboard.

Pepper: hahahaha!!! I get such a kick from th…er-hem. Oh, uh…yes, that reaction was expected, coming from a fox. I do hope I didn’t scare him?

Ness thought hard. There were several things with the name KFC which he knew of.
One was a fast food outlet in a dimension he’d only visited once before. The other was a “Kicks For Clues” store where you’d have to give cluey information in exchange for good, quality entertainment (In the Mushroom Kindom.) And another was a Karate For Chefs class that trained restaurant chefs to bust @$$ when they darn well wanted to!
Ness had never heard of a KFC in the Lylat system, and judging by Fox’s reaction, they were not very nice people.

Peppy: t…t…the KFC? But I’m not sure Fox could ever face them! They’re like…the ultimate bane of vulpines!

Pepper snorted and picked his nose.

Pepper: yes, I know. The crimes they commit are quite graphic and nasty. Not that I could care what happens to f…um, well it’s definitely illegal and we’ve been trying to do something about them, but they’re just so…you know…clever a…uh…slippery. They slip through our fingers like hot butter. I thought that Fox would have what it takes to take them out.

Fox’s voice floated up from the cupboard.

Fox: (muffled) I shan’t do it!

Pepper: that’s O.K, you stinking coward…uh..I mean it’s probably a good idea, those fellows are ruthless and very, very nasty. I think they’re just beyond your team’s abilities, which is a surprise, seeing as you managed to defeat Andross…twice. Well thank you anyway, Starfox!

The cupboard gave a jolt and Fox walked out with a look of grim determination on his face, although his body was shivering.

Fox: nobody is too much for team Starfox! We’ll be on the look out for the K…K…K…K…KFC….y-you bet we will! T-t-they’re as good as gone.

Pepper nodded slyly and the T.V. went off, bringing the news back on. The fat bear flicked her hairdo and drawled out her notices.

News reporter Daphne: And in other news, a hotel was raided last night in Cornaria’s inner square in the middle of the night in what only could be described as “a selective massacre”. Terrified guests at the Fun n’ Yum five-star hotel yesterday, told the police that their doors had been blown off their hinges by masked burglars, and then they had been told to stand against the wall.
Nothing was stolen and there were only three casualties, all foxes, two males and one vixen.
One witness confirmed what happened to his roommate.

The scene changed to a room with yellow wire strung up all over it and policemen running around in the background. A monkey with thick glasses was babbling away at the camera.

Monkey: An’ then the door came down wi’ a big bang, and these guys in red uniforms all came in and *bleep* they had all *bleep* sharp weapons and guns and *bleep.* An’ they they told me to *bleep* stand against the wall, an’ then I was scared, so I did, an’ then they grabs David and I heared him scream, and like, I turned around and they was *bleep* him up with a *bleep* crowbar and he was *bleep* and they *bleep* *bleeep-blee-beeeebeep-blee* It was horrible, and then they *bleeblee bleebeeb beeeeeeebeebeeblllebeebeebbbeeeeebe*
(camera falls to the ground and turns to static.)

Daphne: all three victims were mutilated beyond recognition and have not yet been identified. The attackers were thought to be members of the hostile criminal gang known as the Kill Foxes Cult.
Further investigations are being made. The Cornaria police force recommends all citizens of vulpine species to sleep with the doors LOCKED and preferably sealed, as our chief officer says he never wants to see anything like this again.
Now onto the weather, there is expected to be a weather bomb at a—

Fox grabbed the remote and changed channels, shaking with terror. Bumble the dancing p*ss off appeared on the screen, still playing his monotonous tune and dancing that idiotic little jig.
Slippy clapped his hands with glee and sat down to watch the rest of his show.

Fox: oh no…the KFC…what have I gotten myself into? WHAT HAVE I DONE?? I’ll be torn apart! They’ll…(shudder) I just want to play my bagpipes one more time…(takes out bagpipes and starts playing.)

Krystal: now, now, Fox…you’ve faced worse enemies than the KFC! Surely you can get rid of them?

Fox: (puts away the bagpipes.) You don’t come from these parts, Krystal. You know nothing about the KFC. So please be quiet and let me quiver in peace.

Ness: I agree with Krystal. Come on, Fox! We’ve defeated O2, Majora’s mask, Ghost Ridley, The Condor, Master Belch, Cackletta…you’re not going to tell me that some gang scares you after all that?

Fox shot Ness a glare. He sighed and tottered to his feet.

Fox: y-you’re right…I’m sure I’m over-reacting…In fact, with you and your PSI, Ness, perhaps we can do this! THINK ABOUT IT!! THE KFC, GONE!!?? WE COULD BLAST THEM, NESS!! WOHW!! WE COULD OBLITERATE THEIR MURDERING PRESENCE FROM THE LYLAT SYSTEM!! FOREEEVEEEEERRR!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!

Fox shot out of the room like an excited child, giggling insanely. There was a moment of silence, with the only noise in the room being the incessant banjo noises coming from the T.V.

Peppy sighed and walked over to Ness. The big hare lowered his specs a little and looked him in his eye.

Peppy: listen, Ness…It’s not necessarily how dangerous the KFC are that makes Fox so scared of them, it’s a psychological fear. A fear that is burned into all fox cubs as soon as they’re old enough to understand.
“Beware the KFC, run from the hounds in red coats, do not draw attention to yourself or the KFC will come…” It’s like the bogeyman, see? Only the KFC are real.
Almost all vulpines fear the KFC. The mention of the name is so offensive to them that it’s considered almost forbidden to even speak of the Kill Foxes Cult in a normal conversation.

Ness: but I don’t get it, why do these guys want to exterminate foxes?

Peppy: it goes back a long time, Ness, and involves a lot of racial politics that you wouldn’t understand. But back then, there were a lot of animals with bad reputations…crows, wolves, …black cats…and the old law was slack and stupid. Other races…persecuted these animals, but none got it worse than foxes. Foxes were “evil” back then, if you saw one, he was a spy or a thief or a killer or something. They were destroyed in numbers by bounty hunters and there was nothing the authorities could do about it.
So fanatical became the “hunting” that when the ties between races came about, and peace was made, lots of animals didn’t want to stop killing foxes. They were having too much fun!
The time of the “great bonding” was also know as the “silent period” by the foxes. Mainly because while they now had their rights, they were still looked down upon, and so they mainly kept quiet. Fox was born in this period.
When Fox was ten years of age, another revolution came around and the authorities upped the ante a bit. This was known as the “great trust.” Pretty much every animal race was friendly with one another now. Respect all round, even to foxes…
However…
Those fanatics just don’t go away. Even in these sophisticated times, there are still secret societies of animals who hate other races, and the KFC are the most notorious.

Ness couldn’t believe his ears. Foxhunting, or a form of it, anyway, had existed in a land inhabited entirely with animals! And the tales of the corrupt racial background of the Lylat System made him want to hurl.

Peppy: then when Fox was thirteen years old he had an actual encounter with the KFC. This one time, he went for a sleep over with two of his friends from Arwing cadet training…that night, their house was raided by the KFC. Fox’s advanced knowledge of hiding saved his skin…but unfortunately his friends and their family got caught.

Ness needed no further details. Fox had a right to be scared of the KFC.

#$@%#$@%^#$%^

Meanwhile, Specll put his feet up on a stool in his workshop. They were sore, tired and his muscles ached from constant movement.
Not far away, Pokey was talking to Edward Hemorrhoid, trying to teach him about psychological warfare.

It was moments like these that Specll adored. Peace and quiet without having to think about battles and fighting…

Bom Bom Bom!

A knock at the door. Specll got to his feet and looked through the peep-hole. There was a heavily made-up female beagle outside, with a handbag.

Specll: who is it?

The lady beagle spoke in a somewhat over-pitched voice.

Lady: oh my! Is that Specll McCloud I am talking to? I’ve been trying to contact you for ages! I have a problem with my toaster, see…

Specll nodded and opened the door. The beagle shuffled in and plonked a toaster down on the table.

Lady: this won’t take long, I hope?

Specll caught Pokey’s disapproving glare and simply smiled it off.

Specll: nah, toasters are easy. This should only take one or two minutes. And a-

The beagle shuffled back and opened the door so it was wide open. She then whistled a long-loud note. Specll looked quizzically at her.
Then she spoke in a very, very masculine, accented voice that you would not ever hear coming from a lady.

???: a minute is long enough for us to bash you in, old bean. COME ON BOYS!! LET’S PACK THIS GUY, WOT, WOT!!

Five other hound dogs appeared, these ones wearing masks and red coats. They were armed to the teeth with assorted butcher knives, crowbars, baseball bats with rusty nails through them, barbed wire, plastic bags, STAPLERS and a whole lot of other nasty knick-knacks.
The lady beagle’s wig came off and she wasn’t a lady anymore!!
SPECLL’S HEART FROZE WITH FEAR!!

KFC#1: Specll McCloud…you make quite a name for yourself, old bean. WELL THAT’S NOT CRICKET!! WE CAN’T HAVE YOU LIVING A GOOD LIFE, CAN WE CHAPS?

The other KFC members said: “AYE!” and one of them blew a bugle.

KFC#2: rather cramped hunting quarters, I must say, but choosers can’t be pickers. PREPARE TO DIE, FOXIE!!

It truly was a massacre. Edward Hemorrhoid and Specll TROUNCED the five KFC members like a bag of potatoes hung over a awning. The five dead-to-unconscious figures on the floor were quickly stuffed into a sack by Specll, who was fuming with rage, and stuffed into a nearby sauna.

Specll: take that, you b*$t*7d$…

Edward: WHOM WAS thOse guYse?

Specll didn’t answer. The letters “KFC” fumed in his mind over and over again. He had power. And while he was here, he was going to use it.
TO EXTERMINATE THE KFC!!!

 

[Lightning Snake]

So, it seems fox and specll are working towards the same goal.
Anyway, excellent as usual full of spedly goodness.

 

[MewtwoMaster2002]

Yay great update. Hahahahaha KFC. Ya I heard it in Kirby Kronicles. I wanna see which one defeats KFC first.

 

[PsiFlameMaster]

yes! more stuff happening. crazy Slipy's insane show, all those uses for the accronym KFC, some history of the Lylat System, the KFC turning out to be not-so-tough after all, and Ness's comment's on his slightly chubby self.

Ness: I just have some less-greasy food for once? I’m getting chubby!


Ness: (to himself) I’m going to work out, and when I’m done, I’ll look just like Captain Falcon…wait…no, maybe I’ll stay fat.

LOL! good stuff. I wonder what's going to come of Fox and Specll's working towards the same goal. anyway, great update, and all that good stuff. cya!


EDIT: o ya. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! ppl don't usualy say much when you declare your b-day on the net, but o well. so you have a Valentines Day birth day? cool. anyway, cya later!

 

[NESSBOUNDER]

CHAPTER 7: PART 13

Jiggypuff looked to her right and saw blue seas. She looked to her left and saw blue seas. She looked up and the sky was blue.
So much blue.

Medicham: blue is a silly colour. I don’t like it, it means bad luck in my culture.

Charizard: it’s a wonder we all fit in this Pelliper’s beak, eh?

Pelliper: MMF, MMF, MMF!!

Contrast: shh!

Charizard: oh whee. I’m bored. Let’s play I SPY!

Medicham: oh heck…

Charizard: I spy with my little eye…something beginning with B!

(long pause.)

Medicham: …blue?

Charizard: YEP!! BLUE!! Now it’s your turn!

Medicham: I spy something that begins with T.

Charizard: uh…turbulence?

Medicham: no, TWIT!!

As the group of Pokemon sailed along, Jigglypuff began to notice the water getting rougher and many bubbles rising to the surface. She shrugged and looked out onto the horizon…

Splash.

A smooth, blue figure surfaced right next to the Pelliper. Jigglypuff cried in alarm and told Pelliper to stop. He did, and Jigglypuff floated out into the water to examine the object.
It turned out to be a Lanturn…with terrible teeth marks down his side, almost fainted.

Jigglypuff: what happened to YOU?

The Lanturn coughed.

Lanturn: I…It’s not…not safe for you to travel here…go…back…

Jigglypuff: why? What’s going on down there?

Lanturn: it’s war…it’s a warzone, stay away if you can.

Contrast: hey! You’re a member of the underwater resistance, aren’t you!?

The Lanturn eyed him wearily

Lanturn: yes…how’d you know that? Are you members of Deoxi’s army?

Jigglypuff: no, no! Definitely not. We’re fellow resistance members!

Lanturn: thank goodness! But please heed my warning, just get out of here, they’ll get you too!

Jigglypuff: who are…

There was a mighty spray of water and Jigglypuff screamed as a mighty Sharpedo burst from the water surface and gripped the Lanturn in his powerful jaws. A few jerks later it was all over.
The Sharpedo let its victim sink and then eyed Jigglypuff, Medicham, Contrast, Charizard and their ferry.

Salvo: who are you lot? IF YOU’VE GOT ANY BRAINS, YOU’LL GET OUT OF HERE FAST, BEFORE I’M TOLD TO KILL YOU!! THIS IS A BATTLE ZONE.

Everyone jumped from the Pelliper’s beak and splashed into the water. Charizard quickly activated his underwater flare so he could travel beneath the sea without fear of getting his tail wet. (Being Pokemon, they can all breathe underwater.)

As Jigglypuff ducked underwater, a scene of chaos unfolded beneath her. The coral reef was devastated. Lanturns, Relicanth and Clamperl were fighting Sharpedos and Crawdaunts.
Salvo came level with Jigglypuff and shot her an angry glare.

Salvo: fine, you’ve had your peek. Not pretty, ain’t it? Now clear out, or you could get hurt by accident! MOVE!!

A flash of orange shot past Jigglypuff. She just had time to hear Medicham cry “BRICK BREAK!!” before the crunching noise filled the air.
She looked over to see Medicham in a fighting pose, Salvo unharmed, and another Sharpedo falling through the water, fainted.

Medicham: we’re not just innocent bystanders! We, too, are part of the resistance and you are flake!

Salvo looked down at the fallen Sharpedo who had blocked the attack for him and bared his fangs at Medicham.

Salvo: filth! You interfere with our battles? I’LL MAKE YOU WISH YOU’D STAYED ON THE LAND WHERE YOU BELONG!!

With incredible speed, Salvo blasted forward and brought a slash attack down on Medicham, hitting perfectly. Had it been a critical hit, Medicham would not have survived.

Medicham: AH OWCH!! Yiii…uh…ow. HECK that hurts…nnnnya BRICK BREAK!!

SMACK, SMACK, BWHAM!!! Brick break’s super-effective power slammed into Salvo’s cartilage-like bones, snapping one of his fins in half like a sheet of Styrofoam. The Sharpedo was momentarily stunned from the pain (although not fainted.) and stuttered a bit.

Salvo: w-w-wha…oh I…I’m so stupid!…a Fighting-type…a..ha-a…owwww…

Medicham was horrified that he had not managed to defeat Salvo in one blow. The Sharpedo hung on by a thread of life, but could now defeat him in one slash.
Medicham braced himself for the impact…

It didn’t come.

Medicham looked up to see Salvo floating in the water with his mouth open and a sad, distant look in his eyes.

Salvo: I…don’t…feel like…oh…I-I forfeit. You can kill me if you want…I just…don’t feel like…

Medicham was ecstatic! This foolish Pokemon had just given up the perfect opportunity to finish him off! Now he was pretty much serving himself up on a plate!

Medicham: you don’t feel like finishing me? Why? What’s wrong with you?

Salvo gently moved his body to the side and simply floated in the water, quite definitely not all with it. He seemed to be dreaming.

Medicham: …shell shock, eh?

Salvo: no…I just don’t feel like it…

Medicham: (thinks) this Pokemon is…strange. He’s just suddenly gone nonchalant for…no reason at all!

Salvo: uhum…it’s…uuhw! It’s just that…if I took the liberty of killing you, your friends would have finished me off anyway. I just figured that…if I’m going to die, I may as well let you live, because…uh…well I…

Medicham: that’s stupid! If you’re trying to kill me, then you should have done it all the more so! That’s your goal!!

Salvo: I don’t like to see two warriors defeat each other. There is no victor or loser. It’s a waste of life and time! If I’m not going to win, then you may as well stay alive for your efforts.

Medicham: you’re a very moralistic Pokemon for a Sharpedo leader.

Salvo sighed and continued to float.

Salvo: I’m a freak. I’m supposed to be a prized commander in Deoxis army, but I’m really not one for fighting. It makes me sad and depressed afterwards.
It’s O.K! You can kill me, it’s not like I’ll hold it against you or anything. I think I’ve had enough of battles.

Medicham was now being seriously freaked out by Salvo’s attitude. He really didn’t want to kill a Pokemon who’d so graciously given in.
Luckily, he didn’t have to make up his mind. A massive Crawdaunt came rising up behind Salvo, surrounded by bubbles.

Clyncher: SALVO, YOU SLACK-OFF!! WE’RE NOT-A- STARTIN’ THIS CR#* AGAIN, ARE WE? YOU’RE A PATHETIC DWIP AT TIMES, AH DON’T KNOW WHAT AH WAS THINKIN’ WHEN AH SAID YOU COULD BE A COMMANDER, YOU LILLY-LIVERED WEEPING HEART!

SMASH, CRACK!! Two strikes from Clyncher’s powerful claws destroyed Salvo instantly. The Crawdaunt turned to Jigglypuff’s squad and glared with his eyes.

Clyncher: you had the chance to run while that pansy was talking to you, fools. Ah ain’t so merciful to bystanders, ya hear me all? SO PREPARE TO BE SPLATTERED!

Three smaller Sharpedo came floating up to join their master. A wild four on four battle was about to take place!

 

[PsiFlameMaster]

not much has happened with Ness and co., but it's nice to get some action in on the Pokemon war! I'll be hangin' around later. cya!

 

[MewtwoMaster2002]

Great update. I just came back from a ski trip and this is the first thread I had post since then.

 

[NESSBOUNDER]

Recent lack of updates are due to homework, and me writing a Ness guide in Melee discussion.
I'm going to update The Disturbingly Quirky Pokemon Tale during the week, so look out for that!

 

[NESSBOUNDER]

CHAPTER 7: PART 14

It was a fine day in Cornaria, and Ness and Fox were preparing for some gang bashing. Dressed up fully in hitman gear, black shades and everything, they swaggered down the street, totally looking stupid.
Fox did not look good in black leather.

Ness: Do you think we should have taken any of the others with us?

Fox: naaah…no use drawing attention to ourselves. Now let’s blow this popsicle stand.

Rawk berry: DRIAH!!

Ness: so what do we do?

Fox: easy. I happen to know a nice bar that’s quite popular to the fox population of Cornaria. The KFC used to ransack that place on a regular basis. Now that they’re back in Cornaria, they’re likely to do it again.

Ness: brilliant.

Fox nodded and walked into an alleyway. It was dark in the alleyway, and Ness almost jumped out of his skin when a sleazy voice called to him out of the shadows.

Gangstah: yo!…you guys wanna earn some dough?

Ness noticed a person standing next to them, obscured by shadows. He looked bad.

Fox: we don’t clean dishes.

Gangstah: nah, none of that. I need you to whack some bee-arch for me, you dig?

Fox: …how much?

Ness: FOX! Uh, sorry, but we’re not open for hire right now, sorry.

Gangstah: that’s fine dawg. I just wanted you to whack him, nothin’ special.

Fox: come on, Ness! You have no idea how fun this will be!

Ness: we don’t have time to whack anybody. Now let’s go.

Further down the alleyway, Fox opened a door and Ness found himself in a very nicely-kept bar. It looked to be quite a pleasant place to spend an evening with soothing music and good lighting.
True to Fox’s words, there were a lot of foxes in the bar. Grey ones, red ones, brown ones, swift foxes, kit foxes, the works. All sitting around and talking at the glass tables.
Fox looked totally bad a$$. One step inside and everyone in the room stopped talking and stared at him.

Fox: it’s cool, I’m just waiting for a friend of mine.

There were a few nods and the talking started again. Fox led Ness down into a corner of the room and leaned against the wall.

Fox: now all we do is wait.

After a little while of waiting, a pretty vixen in a white dress came over to Fox, introduced herself as Jade and offered to dance. Fox went red under his fur.

Fox: no thank you. I’m clumsy.

Jade: oh, better not then. I haven’t seen you here before. Are you new?

Fox: no, I just don’t come often.

Jade: my dad owns this bar. We have some really entertaining events sometimes. Come back on Sunday nights and we turn on the blacklights. You can see everyone’s teeth!

Fox: how nice…but isn’t this bar a target for…you know…(whisper) the KFC?

Jade: (whisper) it used to be, but our security has been stepped up. And plus, they havn’t been sighted for years.

Fox: just checking. Because I…

PAUGH!!! As if on cue, the ceiling of the bar ripped apart and showered the room with plaster. Fox instinctively grabbed for his blaster and Ness sharpened his mind.
WHOOF! A cold, black gas was sprayed into the room. It made it difficult to breathe and fogged up their vision.
Amidst the screaming, Fox could hear the sounds of feet landing on the ground, and the drawing of knives.

Fox: AAH! Ness, what’s happening?

Ness: here, I’ll transfer some of my PSI vision to you. Hold my hand for a second.

Ness concentrated on penetrating the fog. As his mind worked, the haze slowly began to thin.
Gradually, shapes became visible and Fox could see figures running around in a blind panic, and stalking slowly between them , equipped with heat-sensor goggles, were animals in red coats.
The KFC members cruelly toyed with the terrified guests, following them slowly around the room. Two victims already lay on the floor, twitching.

Fox took out his blaster and ran down into the pool pit. He ran straight up to one of the KFC members and kneed him in the temple. Owch.

The juicy smacking sound caught the attention of the other hunters, who ran over to Fox, brandishing their weapons. Ness ran down and was about to use a PSI sport c when he remembered that in this dimension, his PSI powers targeted anyone in his vision and not just selected targets. It would be too dangerous to the innocent foxes to use that attack.
So he fly-kicked the nearest thug instead.

Fox, in the meantime, had jumped backwards onto the pool table and was blasting away at his foes. The lasers from his blaster bounced off their protective suits.

Fox: crud! Looks like we’ll need to engage in hand-to-hand combat! HAPKIDO!! (picks up a pool cue.)

Ness started laying into the KFC members with his bat, while Fox began a swords dance with the pool cue. After several minutes of intense fighting, all ten of the gang members were lying on the ground.
Fox placed the pool cue on the ground. The gas had almost cleared by now.

Fox: is anyone hurt? It’s going to be alright. Anyone who is hurt come forward and let me have a look.

Three foxes came forwards, shaking with fear, and sat down at a table where Fox inspected the slashes they’d obtained.
Ness shuddered. The Lylat system was an light-for-blood dimension, but the wounds still made him squeamish.

After healing all the people hurt in the assault, Ness and Fox ran out onto the street to see three of the KFC members making a getaway in a red hovervan.
Fox didn’t miss a beat. He ran to the side of the road and stuck his thumb out to attract a nearby Taxi.
The yellow hovercraft pulled up alongside Fox and a fat groundhog stuck his head out.

Driver: okay, hop in…I don…WAH!!

Fox grabbed the Taxi driver and slung him out onto the street.

Fox: sorry, I need to use this.

Driver: WHAJA DOIN WID ME TAXI???

Ness quickly hopped into the Taxi just as Fox put his foot down on the accelerator. VOOOM!! The vehicle shot off through the heavy traffic.

Fox: right…now we just have to-AAGH!!

BAM! The Taxi’s bullbar tore the front off a blue hovercar. Fox muttered an apology under his breath and then swerved to avoid a pedestrian.
Pretty soon they were on the tail of the red van.

Fox: I’M GOING TO TRY TO SHOOT THEIR MOTOR. TAKE THE WHEEL!!

Ness: BUT I CAN’T DRIVE…

Too late. Fox hoisted his body out of the Taxi and began firing. Ness threw himself across the seats and grabbed the wheel.
He was doing alright until he realized that he wasn’t tall enough to keep his foot on the accelerator and drive at the same time.

The car jolted and Fox pulled himself back inside, shoving Ness over and taking the wheel again.

Fox: AARGH! You hit a fire hydrant!

Ness: sorry! I couldn’t see!

Fox swore and jammed the steering wheel back and forth, swerving in-between two floating trucks and then narrowly avoiding a car. The red van turned and drove straight through a park, almost hitting a female possum with a pram.
Fox veered off and gave the stunned marsupial a wide berth, unintentionally driving right into a slippery-dip.
With a loud “PHWEAH!!” the Taxi ramped up the industrial-strength slippery-dip and shot up into the air, clearing the fence it would have otherwise driven through.

Fox: YAAH!!

Ness: [0_0]!!

Sound effects: (makes everything go slow-motion and plays a punk rock soundtrack.)

Because it was a hovering car, the Taxi wasn’t damaged by the landing. Fox expertly regained control and sped off in pursuit of the KFC van.

Ness looked at the Pay-O-Meter on the Taxi. It read $362. Owch.

Fox: oh NO!! THAT CRAZY GUY IS GOING THROUGH THE AIRPORT!! THE WRONG WAY!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!

Ness looked on with horror at the stream of hovercars speeding towards them and closed his eyes. Fox frantically steered the Taxi through the traffic and the beeping of horns filled the air.
Soon they were on a safer road, and Fox pulled the smoking Taxi to a halt on the side of the street.

Ness: why are you stopping?

Fox: those guys are heading to the Airport. They’ll get stuck in the slow traffic, so we can take our time…and this weapons shop should come in useful.

Fox pointed to a gun shop across the road. Ness nodded and they set off to “get some caps.”
The gun shop was interesting to look at, but Ness didn’t get to look around as Fox grabbed the owner by his collar, threw him out the door and helped himself to a large shotgun-like weapon.
Ness ran back to the Taxi, but Fox motioned him over to a spunky blue sports car, which Fox pulled the owner from and hopped inside.

Fox: aw gawd…this thing’s a manual. I hate manuals.

Ness: heck, how many laws have we broken already? Let’s see, we’ve committed hit-and-run, manslaughter, battery, grand theft auto, damage of property…

Fox: screw the laws!

After another few minutes of erratic driving, Fox caught up with the red van again. He was about to lean out the window again and then remembered that Ness was incapable of driving.
So he smashed the windscreen.
Ness felt a blast of air on his face. It was nice in his fur.

Fox: NOW IF ONLY I HAD SOME GOGGLES…

He took a shot at the red van, but it swerved to the side and the laser blast missed, making a pothole in the road. Fox threw the gun over to Ness in disgust and parked the car, ran over to another one and threw the driver out again.

Ness: you really like doing that, don’t you?

Fox: I did a full hitman’s training course on throwing people out of cars.

Ness: I see…

The new car wasn’t sporty, but it was a pink pimp-mobile! The rapper Fox had thrown onto the street attempted to run after them, swearing as rappers do, but he didn’t get far, seeing as the car was actually FASTER than the sports car and the Taxi combined!!

Fox: YYEEEEEEEEE-HAH!!! NOW THIS IS SPEED!!

Ness: RIDE THE WIND!!

Just for the heck of it, Fox drove the speedy car up an embankment and shot off through the air. It was very cool.

Fox: I want one of these!

Ness: you’ve just got one.

Fox: nah. I can’t keep this. It would be dishonest, and anyway, it’s not going to be worth much when I’m done with it.

Ness shut his mouth and thought about this for a while. Once he stopped thinking, he noticed the KFC van pull over near the airport and run inside. Fox violently parked the car against a lamp post and jumped out.
It didn’t take long to find that the KFC members had managed to barge their way onto an aerocopter, which was like a helicopter except without the blades.

Fox elbowed his way through the crowds and made his way out onto the tarmacs. A small fighter ship was sitting in the middle of a marked area, just screaming to be heisted.
Once in the air, Ness watched in awe as Fox’s piloting skills kicked in. This was like the hovercar chase except ten hundred times faster.
Fox fired as stream of lasers at the aerocopter. It evaded them and flew between a giant billboard. Fox pulled on the controls and the fighter barrel-rolled past the sign, just missing a metal bar and making Ness feel slightly unwell.

The computer screen in front of Ness crackled to life and a nasty-looking hound’s face appeared in it.

KFC guy: you b*st@rd fox…every now and again we come across some smart-alec vulpine scum who thinks he can fight back. That’s not cricket, wot!

Fox: yo, goin’ down, bee-orch!

The lasers on the fighter ship flashed and the aerocopter crashed to the ground leaving a trail of smoke. Ness noticed, however, that the three KFC members had somehow managed to escape unharmed and were running into a large office building.

Fox: let’s give e’m a surprise!

Before Ness could object, Fox piloted the ship right through the building’s window! Both occupants were violently jolted around, but unhurt.

Ness: THAT WAS DANGEROUS!!

Fox: kid’s stuff! That was a simple building-side entrance.

Fox grabbed Ness and made for the stairs. The employees in the building simply ignored the fighter ship that had blasted through the side of the building and continued with their work.

Eventually, Fox led Ness to the second story. The three KFC members were cornered and had already taken the not-unattractive vixen secretary hostage.

KFC guy: sooo…we are persistent, are we? I’m impressed with your abilities, fox. It makes me SICK to think you’re capable of what you’ve done…old bean.

The hound dog spat out the word “fox” as if it was a piece of rotten potato.
Fox glared at the KFC members with loathing…
Then the secretary suddenly had a nervous breakdown. It had been her long shift and she’d gone three hours without as much as one mug of coffee, her boss had verbally abused her about the size of her bum, and now she was being held captive by the KFC! Some people really have it bad.

Seccy: IT’S NOT FAIR!! WHAT HAVE I DONE!? IT’S NOT MY FAULT I HAVE A BONY BUM, SO CAN’T YOU JUST LOOK AT MY HIPS FOR A CHANGE? I HAVE NICE HIPS!!! MY DAD SAYS SO!!

The KFC guy poked her with his knife and she shut up.
Fox decided that a nice bit of reasoning would have to do in a situation like this.

Fox: look. Let her go and I’ll drop the gun. Deal?

KFC guy: how about you get down on your knees, I stab you in the small of the back and watch you die, then we’ll flip a coin and if it’s tails we’ll let the vixen go...If you’re lucky, wot, wot.

Fox: that’s just stupid.

KFC guy: suit yourself. I’ll just finish off our little friend here…

The KFC guy threw his hostage on the ground and raised his knife. Fox cried out and leaped forwards, but he wasn’t going to make it. The knife descended, and descended, and STOPPED!!

KFC guy: UH? WHAT IN THE BLAZES??

Ness: I’ll show you blazes!

Ness twisted the knife out of the KFC guy’s hand with his psychic powers. He hurled the weapon into a wall so it stuck there, quivering. (Not really, but it should have.)

KFC guy: WHOA! THIS LITTLE FELLOW IS A FREAK!

Ness pointed his fingers to his head and concentrated on PSI Paralysis d. The group-stunning move took effect on one of the KFC members, who slumped to the ground.
The seccy had taken the opportunity to run out of harm’s way.
Fox held his big gun out, and then realized that it was completely out of ammo. So he grabbed a nearby computer mouse and twirled it like a nanchuck. (spelling?)

Fox: HAPKIDO!!

Ness: uh…BRAIN!!

One of the remaining KFC guys drew a knife, while the disarmed one pulled out a night stick with a shard of glass glued to it.

KFC guy: O.K. you little fox-loving demon raccoon, you’re history!

KFC guy #2: here fox, fox, fox, fox, fox…

The guy with the knife lunged at Fox, but fox parried by grabbing his arm and throwing him to the ground as Ness had seen Marth do several times in Smash Bros.
Ness wanted to watch Fox’s cool fighting skills, but the KFC with the night stick attacked him. Ness drew his bat and smacked him across the leg.

KFC: OOH, MY LIMB!!

Ness quickly ran behind him and started to repeatedly piston kick his feet.

Just when everything looked to be under control, the door to the stairs broke open and five other KFC members came running in.
Ness groaned. He hated melees. Too many feet to kick.

 

[MewtwoMaster2002]

Great update. Yay more KFC guys ca... er Fox and Ness are winning.

 

[NESSBOUNDER]

This post will be edited as soon as I figure something out.

 

[PsiFlameMaster]

woot yay new chapter! Fox seems to like the Grand Theft Auto type thing. heheheh.. anyway,

Ness: Do you think we should have taken any of the others with us?

Fox: naaah…no use drawing attention to ourselves. Now let’s blow this popsicle stand.

Rawk berry: DRIAH!!

Pokey: hey, that's my line!

everyone: Shut up!

lol! the KFC is gonna gets its butt wooped! yay! anyway, cya later.

 

[NESSBOUNDER]

Hey! My fic's rating has gone down! TO A 3.75 AVERAGE!!!!

(FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!)

Oh well, I'm just here to say that I won't be updating this weekend at all, I have to go on a trip to see my granma on the Gold Coast.

(I worked hard for that five-star rating, dammit! Yes, I may be wingeing, but I have a right to!! Is it really that bad that it deserves a 3.75 average??? Please someone tell me!)

 

[MewtwoMaster2002]

I think it should be rated five therefore I'm rating it again after months of not rating it.

 

[PsiFlameMaster]

sorry i wasn't on last week, but my computer died! wah! but it's ok now. yay! :D enough with the smilies. it looks like nothing much happened while i was gone anyway. o well. btw, SPRING BREAK!!! W00T! a whole week to myself. no school. sleep in late. all that good stuff. anyway, cya guys later.