CHAPTER 9: PART 3
After Adeline had painted up some very warm clothes for everyone (it took a few hours) Ness and his party were ready to escort Feya back to her village. As they trudged through the snow, Ness had to bury his face in his parka to avoid frostbite. Everyone else was doing the same, and even Fox had retreated into the warmth of his parka. However, the parkas that Adeline had painted were not actually true material, and therefore did not offer the same protection that a real snowsuit would. Ness still felt freezing, but they made all the difference.
Ness: (above the blizzard) WE’VE BEEN WALKING HALF A DAY, ARE YOU SURE YOU AREN’T LOST, FEYA?
Feya turned and warned him not to shout in case he bring down an avalanche. Ness was getting grumpy.
Ness: how much longer, then!?
Feya: what? I can’t hear you over the blizzard!
Ness: ARE WE THERE YET??
Feya: not so loud! You’ll…
Ness: I know, I know…I’ll bring down an avalanche.
Feya: WHAT?
Ness: (walks right up close to Feya) Are. We. There. Yet. ?
Feya: no! we’re not. I’d say it’s still another day’s walk from here.
Fox: Auuhh!!!
Paula: no WAY!
Jeff: my feet are numb through these shoes. And it’s not as if there’s any sights to see, this stupid blizzard obscures everything! When’s it going to stop?
Feya looked away. She seemed to be staring into the swirling snow, her eyes scanning warily across the frozen wasteland that stretched before them.
Feya: there is a shortcut nearby, but none of us have ever dared to venture through.
Ness: well you’ve got us here to protect you, so why don’t you take that route?
Feya: I wouldn’t want to put you in danger…
Ness: danger, schmanger! I laugh in the face of danger! WAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!
Ness’s laugh echoed across Ice Mountain. It was followed by a loud rumbling and an almost instant avalanche that buried them all up to their necks in freezing snow.
Feya: what did I say about yelling, laughing, making loud noises or blowing your nose?
Ness gave Feya a dirty look. The kura-hani had jumped the avalanche and was standing on the now-settled snow, completely dry.
Fox: g-g-get us out of h-here!
Ness: yeah! It’s cold! A-AAh---AAAAAH….AH-CHOOO!!!
Ness’s sneeze dislodged another pile of snow which rumbled down the hill and settled on top of the other one, burying everyone completely. Feya eventually dug them all out, but by the time that happened, it was already dark, and the blizzard still hadn’t stopped. As everyone sat in a cave, warming their frozen hands by the fire, Feya began talking about the blizzard.
Feya: this blizzard started not long ago, and it hasn’t stopped since it appeared. No blizzard we have ever seen has lasted so long without waning. There must be supernatural forces at work, but even our elders can’t find the cause. We believe it may have something to do with angry spirits in the winds.
Ness found it hard to believe that this blizzard was the cause of spirits. There was something malicious about this blizzard. It seemed to have something personal against everyone and everything, and spirits usually didn’t hold powerful grudges. Especially wind spirits.
The next morning, Feya led Ness and friends down a steep snowy hill that seemed to fall into a sort of valley. Ness noticed Feya was intense and on edge. He guessed that this must be a dangerous zone. Sure enough, after some more trekking, the group was jumped by a gang of polar bears and their fearsome pink shorts. Ness and the others beat them off, leaving them unconscious in the snow. Feya was impressed.
Feya: you are very strong. You didn’t even use your powers to defeat them!
Ness: why do they wear pink shorts? How can they stand the cold?
Feya: bandit polar bears like to show their toughness by wearing just shorts in this extreme cold. They try to intimidate their victims that way. Other tribes wear different coloured shorts. Usually, the polar bears get along with us, but recently they’ve started becoming more and more warlike. It’s confusing.
Ness glanced at Fox. Fox nodded. They both had the same thoughts. The last Dark Missionary must be positioned on Ice Mountain.
Paula: this place must be lovely when there’s no blizzards…
Feya: hm. Although you can’t see them now, beautiful natural ice pillars dot the landscape and can be seen from miles away. Some of them take extraordinary shapes. We kura-hani can extract spirits from them to use in our magic.
Ness tried to show interest, but the blizzard was so annoying that he couldn’t even focus his mind. Suddenly, Feya stiffened and drew her clear dagger, growling softly under her breath.
Feya: enemies approach!
Ness, Fox, Paula, Poo and Jeff all drew their weapons. Adeline quickly flipped out her easel and tried to paint something, but her paints had frozen stiff.
Adeline: whoops…you guys are going to have to do this without me, O.K?
Ness: sure.
There was silence as Ness peered through the swirling snow. He could just make out two shapes coming towards them. Upon catching sight of him and his friends, the two figures also drew weapons that Ness couldn’t make out the shape of. The strange pair began advancing cautiously towards him.
Paula: whooo, scairy!
G&W: don’t talk, Paula.
Finally, after a long standoff, the two figures entered Ness’s visibility, and as soon as he saw who it was, he let out a sigh of relief, and Fox laughed. The two figures looked equally surprised as they recognized Ness and his friends.
Popo: Ness? What are you doing here?
Nana: he’s a dimension traveler, brother. He’s psychic.
Popo: I know that, sweet, pretty sister of mine. But why is he here?
Nana: ask him, my powerful, strong, biological twin brother.
Popo: I am not your twin brother. I am two seconds older than you.
Nana: you are not.
Popo: yes I am.
Nana: you are n…
Ness: it’s the Ice Climbers! Hey guys! We finally found you!
Everybody was happy to see the Ice Climbers…except Feya, who looked terrified.
Feya: T-T-T…They…No! You…It can’t be YOU!! NESS!! NESS, HELP! FIGHT THEM!
Feya’s frantic squawking got the Ice Climber’s attention. Popo gasped and heaved his mallet up onto his shoulder.
Popo: kura-hani! Look sister! A kura-hani!
Nana: huaaaaah!! Stand by, brother, I’ll slay it!
Popo: you can have what’s left!
Nana: let’s kill it together!
Popo: good idea, brainy and highly intelligent sister who is two seconds younger than me.
Nana: am not.
Popo: are too.
The Ice Climbers charged past Ness and swung their mallets at Feya, but the ermine was too agile. She nipped to the side and stood bristling with her fangs bared. The Ice Climbers were about to launch into a team attack when Ness jumped in between them and Feya with his bat drawn.
Ness: whoa, whoa, WHOA!! What is going on here? Why are you attacking Feya?
Nana: stay out of this, Ness! The kura-hani scum must die!
Popo: kill the filthy vermin!
Ness: HOLD IT! Don’t take another step towards her, or I’ll have to fight you both. Now Feya, what’s going on here? Why are the Ice Climbers attacking you.
Feya was crouched down in what appeared to be a fighting stance. She was shaking with fear and looked extremely desperate and dangerous. She spoke without taking her eyes off the Ice Climbers.
Feya: do you know these two, Ness? They are killers! These two warriors hunt and slay kura-hani for a living! They were responsible for the death of an entire tribe!
Popo: your tongue won’t save you, sly one! I don’t know how you got Ness to trust you, but he won’t stop me from cracking your wicked skull!
Nana: Ness! Step aside; we must destroy this slimy thief!
Ness aimed his mind at Popo and blasted him and Nana with a PSI paralysis d. Both Ice Climbers fell twitching into the snow.
Popo: Ness…ugh…you traitor!
Nana: you’re all traitors!
Popo: big ones!
Ness: now let’s talk this over sensibly like grown ups, right? Why do you want to kill Feya?
Popo: you’re a meddling hole, Ness!
Ness: I asked you a question!
Popo was silent for a few seconds before bursting into speech.
Popo: all kura-hani are villains! They don’t deserve to live!
Feya: what have we done to make you hate us so?
Popo: vermin! You’re lucky Ness and his friends were here, otherwise we would have…
Ness: oi! Why do you want to kill Feya, answer me? What’s she done to you?
Nana: kura-hani are thieves, traitors and cowards!
Popo: they’re sneaky, sly, deceivers!
Nana: they’ll stab you in the back as soon as you turn around!
Popo: they curse our crops and make them useless!
Feya: we do no such thing!
Popo: liar! The kura-hani practice every form of treachery under the sun!
Ness: well from what I’ve seen so far, Feya here has done nothing but good things for us. She saved Fox’s life!
Popo sneered. He tried to roll over, but didn’t manage.
Popo: the kura-hani try to appear honest by acting as healers. It’s a trick to make you trust them.
Fox: what do you mean, “A trick?” Has it ever occurred to you that the kura-hani may actually be trying to earn an honest living with their healing powers?
Nana: there’s no such thing as an honest kura-hani!
Ness shook his head. He had no idea that the Ice Climbers were so bloodthirsty.
Popo: as heroes, it is our job to vanquish evil, and defend the good folk from villains like the kura-hani! Right, oh cute little paralyzed sister of mine?
Nana: you bet, cool, heroic brother.
One thing that Ness found so unnerving about the Ice Climbers was the way they spoke. They seemed to drone on and on without any emotion, all the while staring with eyes that rarely blinked.
Feya: you don’t defend your people from us, you actively come out of your territory and hunt us down, even when we’re minding our own business! After being captured and killed so many times, do you honestly think any kura-hani would go within five miles of your kind? Years ago, we may have stolen from and deceived the Mountan People, but we live in fear of you now. We try to hide from you. It’s the first thing we teach our young!
Popo: we will wipe you all out!
Ness was getting sick of Popo and Nana’s stubbornness. From what he’d heard it was easy enough to see that the kura-hani was a struggling race, persecuted out of fear. Although they had attempted to make peace with the Mountain People, they were hated for the sake of hatred. The Mountain People didn’t want to trust them.
Ness: Popo, Nana, I’m here to help you destroy the great evil that’s positioned in your dimension. You can’t return to the Academy by yourselves because of a stuff-up by Master hand. I’m on a journey to fix this problem, and I’ll need a special item from this dimension. Now I know that you won’t be able to find the great evil by yourselves and that you’ll need me to track it. We’ll need your help too if we’re going to succeed. Now this is how it goes…Feya here is our friend, and one of our allies. If you are going to join us, you’re going to have to put your differences aside and team up with her, do you understand?
Popo: never!
Ness: well then I hope you enjoy squirming here in the snow, because I’m not going to heal your paralysis until you agree.
Popo looked at Feya with hatred so intense it could have melted all the ice in sight. He huffed and looked away from her with an indignant expression on his face.
Popo: fine, I’ll spare that kura-hani’s life, but if she so much as looks at me wrong, I’ll spill her brains across the snow!
Nana: I second what my awesome brother just said.
Feya was very unhappy with the idea.
Feya: no! You’ll lead them back to my village! They’ll kill everyone, Ness! You said you’d protect me from…
Ness: Feya, I know the Ice Climbers much better than you. They may be scary, but they’re honorable. If I make them swear they won’t harm your people, then they won’t do it, right guys?
Popo: huh. Yes, alright.
Ness: if you try anything, I’ll paralyze you again.
Nana: yeah, yeah…
And so Ness, his friends, the Ice Climbers and Feya trudged through the blizzard until they finally came to a strange white village which was almost invisible in the snow. Feya turned warily to Ness and pleaded at him with her eyes, urging him to keep the Ice Climbers in check. The Ice climbers were indignantly standing side by side, not saying a word as everyone gasped and goggled at the spectacle before them.
Paula: WhOw!!
Fox: I’ve never seen anything like this!
G&W: wow!
Adeline: cool!
Jeff: it is cool!
Poo: RICE!!
The kura-hani village seemed to slip in and out of visibility. However, as they got closer, Ness noticed it becoming much easier to see. Feya started to explain, as if reading his thoughts.
Feya: there is a protective seal covering our village. From a distance, it blends the buildings and people into the snow, making it very difficult for our enemies to see us.
Popo smirked.
Popo: if they don’t know what they’re looking for, right sister?
Nana: very right, sharp eyed and all-seeing brother of mine.
Ness: hey! You behave yourselves once we get there. Once the villagers see you, there’s going to be mass panic and a lot of explaining to do. I want you to show that you don’t mean these people any harm.
The Ice Climbers nodded and stowed their mallets. As Ness and his charge approached the village, he noticed a small group of grey-clad figures standing in their path. Ness raised his arms to show he was not dangerous, and Feya waved to them.
Feya: they’ve seen me. This is probably a welcome party. I wonder if my father is amongst them?
However, when everyone got closer, the welcome party started to turn hostile. Ness found himself surrounded by wary, frightened kura-hani warriors. Luckily, Feya managed to calm them all down before anyone got hurt.
Feya: there’s no need to be alarmed. These people are my friends, and they offered me protection on my way back to the village. They are dimension travelers, and some of them know powerful magic that I want to show the elders.
One of the warriors, a tall human wielding a set of hunter’s knives stepped forward and ushered Feya out of the way. He stared into Ness’s eyes, keeping the weapons drawn. Ness guessed he must have been a leader of some sort.
???: If Feya trusts you, then you must mean us no harm. However, it would be unwise to allow you to enter our village without proof that you won’t lead our enemies to us…
Suddenly, one of the other warriors began screaming.
Kura-hani #1: ICE CLIMBERS!! LOOK! IT’S THE ICE CLIMBERS!! WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE!!
These words were followed by an uproar as the kura-hani darted to and fro, unsure whether to fight or run. Ness had to shout at the top of his lungs to get their attention.
Ness: QUIET!! THE ICE CLIMBERS ARE WITH US, AND THEY WON’T HURT YOU, YOU HAVE MY WORD!!
The human with the knives silenced the others with a wave of his hand.
???: impossible! The Ice Climbers are cruel, heartless killers. You befriended Feya so you could follow her to our village and exterminate us!
Popo: If we wanted to kill you, then half of you would already be dead.
Nana: listen to my hunky brother, scum! You’re lucky Ness made us swear not to harm any of you kura-hani! For the time being, anyway.
Feya: it’s true, Iho. Ness and his friends are stronger than the Ice Climbers! If they harm any of use, Ness can defeat them.
Popo: NESS IS NOT STRONGER THAN ME AND MY GORGEOUS AND HIGHLY ATTRACTIVE SISTER! WE COULD DEFEAT HIM IN A FAIR BATTLE!!
Ness: we’re not in the Academy of Smash now, Popo. Our attacks are no longer balanced, and I’m afraid that I’m much more powerful than both of you. Sorry, that’s how it is.
Popo: PSI is stupid!
Nana: down with PSI!
Ness: (turning to Iho.) Anyway, we were wondering if we could take your hospitality for a little while? Me and my friends are pretty hungry and cold. And we have a long journey ahead of us.
Iho looked away from the Ice Climbers and frowned at Ness.
Iho: If Feya trusts you, then all is well. Please wait outside for just a few minutes, I must warn our people not to be alarmed by your presence.
After a short wait, Ness and friends were admitted entry to the mystifying kura-hani village. Kura-hani in their gray costumes stood by the snow-white houses, watching silently as the heroes walked through the village, taking in the amazing sight. Ness occasionally caught sight of young kura-hani warriors practicing their spells and seals in small groups, and he passed a forge where a blacksmith was at work making strange weapons.
Ness: this is amazing! Can you feel the spiritual energy of this place, Paula?
Paula: wow! It sends shivers down my spine!
Poo: incredible. This is truly a place of intense magical concentration. It’s nothing like I’ve ever felt before…
Finally, they arrived at a place that looked like a sort of shrine. A palace of ice built into the side of a frozen mountain. Ness stared up at the structure with awe.
Feya: this is a temple we built behind our village as a lure for ice spirits. It’s warm inside, so you may sleep there tonight. However, do not cause any damage to the stalactites that hang from the roof, because doing so may drive the spirits away. And we rely heavily on them for survival.
Fox: wow…
Jeff: I can’t think of anything else to say but wow! Such architecture! And all this without machines!
Ness: thanks Feya. That will do nicely. But there’s still a lot of daylight left, so let’s go meet the elders. I’m really looking forward to seeing the workings of spirit magi.
Feya: you should eat first.
Adeline: that won’t be necessary; I’ll just paint up some hot soup, and…
Ness: Adeline, all the food you paint comes out cold.
Adeline: pfeh! Philistines!
Soon the gang of heroes were all sitting down, enjoying a meal of fish chowder. Iho and several other kura-hani watched them carefully as they ate. Popo and Nana ungratefully spooned the chowder into their mouths without so much as commenting on its texture or quality. Ness and his friends, however, were full of compliments.
Fox: mmm! Yummy, yummy fish soup!
Paula: sooooop! *~*
G&W: soooooooooooooooop!
Adeline: it’s chowder, you guys.
Fox: eat up the yummy soup!
Ness: chowder…
Poo: (in very, very deep voice) PeA SooouUp…
Feya: no, chowder. I made this for you, is it nice?
Fox: it’s lovely! It would have been even better with some earthworms in it.
Feya: it’s way too cold for earthworms in this part of the world…
A sickening thought occurred to Ness. He put down his bowl of chowder and gasped loudly, drawing all the attention in the room to him.
Feya: what’s the matter, Ness?
Ness: does any of you have a map of this world?
Feya: …yes, I suppose we do, why’s that?
Ness: bring it here…now! This is urgent.
Feya ran out of the room and returned with a scroll. She placed it on the floor and opened it up to reveal the world map. Ness groaned.
Ness: look how BIG this world is!! We’re here!
Ness pointed to a tiny white patch at the top of the map, labeled ICE MOUNTAIN. Everyone stared at the map with disbelief.
Paula: but Ness…I thought you knew this dimension?
Ness: I’ve only visited it once before! I had no idea…wait, let me do another mental scan…
Ness placed his fingers on his temples and, after a few seconds, pointed to another point on the map.
Ness: I miscalculated earlier. Specll is there…in that place.
Paula: Brown Tann?
Fox: SIX continents away???
Ness swallowed. There was silence throughout the room as everyone let Ness’s discovery sink in.
Feya: what’s the matter, Ness?
Ness: we have a loooooooooooong journey ahead of us…
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Uh-oh! How is Ness going to cross six continents without PSI teleport? Why are the Ice Climbers so nasty/freaky? What are Specll and Pokey up to? Find out next update! CHEESE!!
(camera flash.)
