So I watched 2 HORRIBLE movies thes past two days and I’m gonna break em down.
1. Hellboy (2019)
This movie is bad like BAD. BUT it’s also one of those key movies that are so bad that they are, uh, well I wouldn’t say good but it has that kind of The Room effect. Except for this movie it’s like I could see myself popping it on at a party and stopping what I’m doing every once in a while to try and register incomprehensible **** show that’s going on because all in all, even though the CGI isn’t that great, some of the imagery is grotesque and eye catching. So, yeah, it’s a dumb fun movie. Clock out, put it on, and enjoy some stupid action. But if you want to watch an actual good Hellboy movie that has some good acting, excellent makeup, and a WAY better story, either of the others are the way to go. Don’t let this be the first Hellboy you watch.
2. Dark Phoenix
This movie... it just hurts me really. There’s really nothing good going on in any of it. A lot of the characterizations are experimental yes but they don’t make any sense. Making Xavier out to be this over controlling bad guy while flopping Magneto from sympathetic friend to killing machine back to an understanding guy just doesn’t work. And Jean’s story is not compelling at all. The death in this movie is also sloppily done and is definitely just so a certain high profile actor could get out of the part with emotional stakes that were not really set up in this movie nor in prior ones. They also completely waste the best and most beloved character from the last 2 movies, Quicksilver, by putting him out of commission after the first fight scene while also throwing any kind of emotional pay off between him and Magneto straight out the window. The timeline doesn’t make sense in context of previous movies, how the Phoenix force is handled doesn’t make sense in context of previous movies, Nightcrawler was wasted, beast was mostly wasted, Cyclops didn’t have much to do, the Skrull like aliens are even more expendable than actual Skrulls. It’s almost like no one did anything despite the 2 hour run time. It’s just bad. The only redeeming qualities are Hans Zimmer’s soundtrack, despite it not being anywhere near as good as John Ottman’s, a single, maybe 2-minute long, fight scene with Magneto which is by far the coolest and most bad ass fight scene Magneto has ever had, and another scene when Magneto is gunning down one of the aliens with what seems like hundreds of guns. But like I said about the fight scene it’s also WAY too short.
Michael Fassbender ****ING KILLS IT as Magneto and it’s SUCH a shame for this to likely be his last movie. He eats up every SINGLE frame of these movies that he’s in and makes it look easy and that’s just because of how DAMN good of an actor he is but it seems like he loves this character and I’m just sad that this was how it had to end.