Well, time for some direct thoughts, I guess...
That direct..... it was..... i guess kinda.... okay, I cant be positive. That direct was pure trash. Absolute horse****. I waited months for THIS? I want the 40 minutes of my life I spent watching that back.
Ken, while he was basically a lock, and thus wasn't surprising, was still about the only bright spot for me; after all, I like playing Ryu, and I like Ken, and it's nice to see Ryu share this adventure with his training buddy/friendly rival. Better yet, he really feels like Ken; you can tell Sakurai knows his Street Fighter.
Everything else was ****. Incineroar was one of the last people I ever would have wanted in Smash (but not to the point where I'd skip out on the game for him, and for what it's worth, Sakurai definitely nailed his wrestler 'tude), Spirits mode sucks and just appears to be Smash Tour 2.0 (I WAS JOKING WHEN I SAID "Watch this be Smash Tour 2.0", you know), and the Assist Trophy section..... good ****ing god. After ALL that waiting, Shadow and Isaac were still just ****ing assists. That's not the part that really bummed me out, it's the fact that they, along with many other fan favorites that got snubbed, were held off for this ****ing long, giving their fans so much ****ing hope, only to have it ripped apart from their ****ing hands right at the ****ing endgame AND destroying their chances of being DLC. There's literally no ****ing reason they couldn't have been shown off in the earlier directs; that would have been infinitely less crushing, but noo, they had to do the **** move. THAT'S how you build hype, get ****** hopeful for their most wanted, then waiting til the end to go "lol, they ain't playable and they won't be DLC, yeet yeet." I feel especially bad for Skull Kid supporters; they didn't even get the dignity of having their character get deconfirmed as part of the Assist Trophy presentation; Skull Kid's deconfirmation was just casually dumped to the website as if it didn't ****ing matter. Magor douche move.
All that on it's own wouldn't have made me hate this game, and I'd still have probably played it and loved it. But then I moved on to the worst part of the Direct; the DLC section. I was still pretty bummed that none of my top 5 were in, and I was holding out some hope..... and then I saw Piranha Plant. Then I saw his splash screen. I didn't pay much attention to the rest of his reveal. I was mostly just standing there, slack-jawed, trying to comprehend what the hell just happened. When I finally got my thoughts back, I just thought, "Really. REALLY. REALLY. Are you ****ing kidding me? ARE YOU ****ING SERIOUS RIGHT NOW?" THIS is our first DLC character? A basic mook from a Mario game, not even an actually important one like Goomba or Koopa, just one random Mario enemies out of dozens? REALLY! REALLY?! Is this some joke? Because it's not funny in the slightest. Instead of literally anybody else, they devoted resources to a character that literally nobody voted for. What a joke. What a ****ing joke. Say what you will about any of the fan favs that got shafted, but at least, y'know, they're not dime a dozen mooks and are actually important to the games they're in. This is the only character in Smash history that I felt was legitimately a waste of a slot, as I can't come up with a single justification for his inclusion.
My absoulte most wanted ever, Waluigi, was deemed unworthy thrice, but a ****ing Piranha Plant, just one of many, many basic enemies, is apparently perfectly worthy for Smash. So in other words, a Piranha Plant is a more worthy inclusion for Smash than Waluigi or literally any of the fan favorites that got snubbed. A Piranha Plant was apparently better than any of my most wanted, and was more deserving of valuable resources and dev time in a time when slots are so limited. That just hurts on a personal level. *sniff*
All in all, this direct felt like the ultimate middle finger to me. Is that petty? I know that's petty, but that's just how it felt. I learned, apparenly NONE of my favorite characters actually matter. So anyways, I am legitimately gonna cancel my preorder. I get Ultimate will still probably be a great game, but it just won't be one for me. I wish I could still enjoy it, but I won't be able to take my mind off the fact that a ****ING PIRANHA PLANT can be playable but Waluigi can't.
is the only person left in the entire universe
