Alright. So that was one hell of a Direct.
So… Box Theory right out of the gate, eh? Good thing I was ready for it. Ken looks pretty spiffy for an Echo, and Incineroar looks like a hell of a lot of fun. Congrats
Noipoi
!
Sure enough, we got a free bonus, but not with Online Subscription, and not Geno (the poor guy is a Spirit… I’m so sorry,
Luigi The President
), but instead… Piranha Plant? PIRANHA PLANT?! I’m so confused. He looks like so much fun, but… what? Why? How? How is Waluigi not a fleshed-out enough character to be in Smash, but a Piranha Plant is? Excuse me? This at least throws any ‘Hat Goomba’ arguments out of the window, but… I just don’t get it.
In terms of Assists, I’m legitimately shocked Shadow is still stuck there. Like, actually. And the worst fears came true and Isaac was actually brought back just to suffer. Yowch. But all the remaining new assists look super cool, Fire Emblem actually has some more going for them now. And Shantae may not be an Assist, but hey, I’ll take a Spirit.
Spring Man is an Assist and Rex is a Mii Costume? At least they were implemented somehow, but I guess they can be struck pretty quickly from the DLC speculation.
Spirits had me really iffy at first, I don’t need Smash turning into a Gacha. It especially killed me when they said no more Trophies, but I guess I can collect Spirits instead. But World of Light fixed any qualms I had with Spirits, this **** looks intense as hell and I already love it.
100-Man Smash being back makes sense, and All-Star mode being converted into a Multi-Man Smash game makes a lot of sense at this point. Meanwhile, Home-Run Contest, Break the Targets, and Board the Platforms all remain in limbo until release, I guess.
Confirmation of at least 5 future DLC characters and 5 stages is exciting. And Sakurai meming about never taking a break is worth it in and of itself. I’m getting all of them regardless of who they are, so the option to pay $25.00 for all of them instead of $30.00 separately is much appreciated. Let the speculation commence.
Okay, the elephant in the room: that ‘leak.’ I’m amazed. Bewildered. As I said before, I apologize for placing so much faith in it. I should have taken
vaanrose
‘s debunk of the background more seriously, and should have been more willing to hear the insiders out (though I still believe that they were being total assholes about it… but whatever). Huge rip to
papagenos
, I’m sorry dawg but your source must have been playing you. Don’t worry too much about it, the community still has your back, we know you meant nothing malicious by it.
BUT STILL. How did whatever insane man who put this leak together do it? After only about a month in a half since the Isabelle trailer, HOW did he put together all of that work and create such a complex, legally charged narrative? Even if it’s fake, SOMEBODY is in massive ****ing trouble for this, and that’s what’s leaving me so confused over the whole thing. Why go in this deep? ‘For the lulz’ really just doesn’t feel applicable for something this… drastic. Whoever made this, if you’re out there, please, tell us your secrets.
Regardless, I’m still beyond pumped for this game, and still very, very confused about Piranha Plant. Very happy for Incineroar fans, very sorry to fans of the fake leak’s characters, especially Geno, Shadow, and Isaac fans, you guys got done dirty. Here’s hoping Banjo possibly pulls through for DLC.
What a wild goddamn ride this has been.
(****ing Piranha Plant? What?)