*Sigh*
Here goes nothing:
So, I came to this thread after about a month of lurking about, and the only reason I joined was because of the interactions which I had viewed between everyone here, and to be honest, I was jealous. It hurt me deeply to see all of these different people, mingling so flawlessly, not one spark of negativity in sight. I wanted to be apart of this joyful community, it seemed like the perfect group of people, all speculating together in harmony.
So, there I was, finally in amongst these people I had been
stalking for ages! And it started out great, some of the happiest times of life, chatting up with all of these wonderful people, joking about Rottytops, cookies and mushroom houses! It was amazing, it felt like pure bliss.
But then things felt like they were changing... very slowly.
More and more people came into the thread, which is a good thing, though it's now become a little too overcrowded for my taste. And it is because of this overcrowdedness, that I started to feel I was being ignored and left out. Negativity began seeping its way into the thread (no offence to people like hollywood, you're great! i dont have it out for anyone on this thread except for maybe connor... just a little). And then of course, the obvious happened, and that brought down the thread also, and I'm sorry that I caused that. The entire thread surrounded me for a time, and I'm sorry that things had to turn out that way, I wish it could have caused less of a scene.
I feel more disconnected from the thread now, it doesn't feel as homely anymore. I feel like it's kind of become a repetitious mess.
I'm also really distressed right now, I just want this to end, one way or another. One of the options is way out of my hellish life, and the other is where I continue it, and feel even more sorrow and pain, and give some to others. I don't know what to think, I've already failed to escape this tortuous life previously, so I might even welcome my death with open arms.
I'm so depressed right now.
I need a hug...
preferably from
Teeb147
or
Mrs.Milky
but that's beside the point...
Sorry if this is long and unnecessary, and quite frankly very messy itself, but I thought I'd put it out there.