Sakurai Says...

[Phaazoid]

Sakurai: we have decided to make smash a 1-player game

 

[Legolastom]

Newcomer: Dylan_Tnga Mario
Newcomer: Sundown Mario
Newcomer: Legolastom Mario
Newcomer: Smash forums Mario
Newcomer: Tirkaro Mario
Newcomer: Vali Mario
Newcomer: Caeel Mario
Newcomer: Smashing Mario
Newcomer: Noobio

 

[Phaazoid]

@legolastom and tirkaro whats with all the different types of mario's?
(some were pretty funny)

 

[Legolastom]

Well melee had basically 3 Mario's a big waste of 2 characters.

 

[pikachun00b7]

Sakurai says:SSBB will be like Halo 4. Bang headshot!

 

[Legolastom]

Ness better watch out...

 

[Phaazoid]

we have decided to get rid of versus mode because we want to release the game as soon as possible.

 

[tirkaro]

sakurai: due to technical reasons, SSBB will now be ported to the CD-i. It will also feaure extensive cutscenes done by the geniuses at phillips.

 

[Legolastom]

We have replaced all nitnendoro characters with Sonic characters (Nintendoro sounds more Japanese than Nintendo)

Ha ha ha good one tirkaro

 

[Phaazoid]

@legolastom good one. ohh god. think of the matches silver vs sonic vs amy vs cream. the horror

 

[Legolastom]

Or even worse Crash and pyro -.-

 

[Phaazoid]

@legolastom do you realize we are having three different conversations at once on 3 different threads?

 

[Legolastom]

Yes, yes i do

 

[Phaazoid]

Sakurai says: we have decided to add Mayamuto (can't spell) as a playable character, and he is invincible and always level nine, but if you choose him, you end up as a tetris block and all the computers are him. and if you choose someone else, the computers are still him.

 

[Legolastom]

The game will be played using the wii mote... end of

 

[Phaazoid]

i hope they confirm g-cube controllers on Monday under how to play...

 

[Legolastom]

I don't i hope they give us the adventure or classic mode because confirming something that is most likely gonna happen isn't that exciting but maybe just during E3 when we hopefully get a playable demo.

 

[Phaazoid]

Sakurai is probably going to post more than one thing seeing how he has had the whole weekend to do it. plus, so far the earlier in the week, the more posts.

 

[Legolastom]

Well he might just post one thing seeing as last time he did miss monday

 

[Phaazoid]

that would suck.

 

[Legolastom]

Yhea... but anyway lets get back on subject um...

Terrorists blowing up Smash bros (or something).

 

[Phaazoid]

half of america would commit suicide and alquadia would as well because everyone loves smash bros.

 

[Legolastom]

Make smash not war

Sadam: **** bush i didnt see that green shell
Bush: He he now iraq is mine!

 

[Phaazoid]

saddam here is my flyingblue!

 

[Legolastom]

Saddam: but your in first place...

 

[Phaazoid]

bush whoops. boom. there goes new york. hiro nakamura failed.

 

[Sariku]

Sakurai - Due to the extreme amount of preasure put on me to make this game better than Melee, I will discontinue the project, go home, and suck my thumb. I will also start taking theropy.

Oh, whats done so far is in a single copy. It will be on E Bay. Lowest Bidder Wins. Mininum Bidding Price? Well... lets hope it doesnt get to that -wink-

 

[unsung-unit2291]

Sakurai- in an interesting change of events, Super Smash Bros Brawl will now be an online TCG.

 

[Phaazoid]

sakurai dies

 

[Caael]

Sakurai: The villain slot for metroid is.....* drumroll*....Dark Samus! ( As awesome as she is, Ridley deserves the spot way more)

 

[NukeA6]

Super Smash Bros Brawl turns out to be one big joke. Oh I would be so pissed if they did that.

 

[HideousBeing]

Super Smash Bros Brawl turns out to be one big joke. Oh I would be so pissed if they did that.

Yeah. April Fools! Heads would roll. Let's just say if Sakurai planned it as a joke, it would be in his best interests to manifest the project.

 

[tsetse]

something I just realized the wiimote or nunchuk have no cstick. (please dont say "just use the cross")

worst thing that coud happen to this game would be chuck norris.

 

[Tera253]

Sakurai sez: Sonic is in the game.
yes. Tera is sick of the over-hype.
~Tera253~

 

[dynamic_entry]

sakurai - due to impressive sales by fresh goods markets internationally, i have decided to replace the current roster of brawl characters with an appropriately corresponding vegetable or fruit and hence market the game as an alternative to your daily vitamin intake.

sakurai - due to the recent prolific breeding of the shark species, i have decided to halt production of brawl indefinently and return to my home, the lost city of atlantis, and join the armed forces to combat the ever growing menace of our underwater enemies.

sakurai - in response to the recent news that a meteorite big enough to destroy this planet is heading straight for us, i have graciously volunteered to send every item that related to the current build of brawl to a giant cannon being built by Nintendo in order to avert the crisis.

 

[Conker1]

Sakurai: Sakurai will now addressing himself in the third person.

 

[Zeela12]

Sakurai: SSBB will be played with Dreamcast controllers. Good luck finding one.

 

[Smooth Criminal]

Sakurai: Oh, crap. Nintendo's not doing so hot right now and we've had to lay off alotta people. Hopefully my new staff will help me complete the game.

The game then proceeds to go the way of Starcraft: Ghost and is handed off to many, many different teams with Sakurai eventually being forced to leave the production. After a tedious few years, the game is finally given to Valve for god-knows-what shady corporate thingie and they make Gordon Freeman the new "Mario." The little crab things, whether they are ticks mooching off of people's skulls or crawling around like stuff found in your pubic hair, also make an appearance in the game. The mooching tick version of the crab hits twice as hard as Ganondorf and make annoying screeching sounds whenever they attack. The mooching ticks' taunt also involves them magically summoning a chair and having seizures in it (ala Half-Life 1, when you found the dude in the lab with a tick on his head). They are completely invincible before, during, and a couple of seconds after the taunt animation is over. They can also cancel the taunt into anything, including a B move.

The latter variant of crabs being considered top tier, of course, with attacks that are twice as good as Sheik's and with alot of invincibility frames. Hell, these crabs even have a B move that allows you to launch yourself on to your opponents head and take control over the character---permanently. If you SD while controlling said character, you will always get the point and it will not count as a loss against one of your stocks.

However, these crabs can't touch the man at the uppermost echleon, the God Tier himself: Konami's own Bill Rizer.

Being a walking invincibility frame himself due to the fact that he has survived so many alien wars with such a frail constitution (one hit kills him, remember, and he survives armies of uglies) and having attacks that are as quick as Fox's shine and considerable range, he is simply the character to beat. Even the Contra Death Flip(!!!!), which is his regular second jump, kills because it automatically sends out orange-red bullets in a spanning 360 degree arc that does 50% damage with great knockback (this is per bullet, mind you).

As the nail in the coffin, Bill Rizer is also not banned at tournaments because of his abilities. He is indeed very playable---judges argue, "well he can fall off the stage and lose a stock, right? Too many mindgames can lead to an airdodge off the edge! So that makes it perfectly balanced!" (This is when I'd cue a Goofy laugh, here). Nevermind, also, that the tournament format changes it's time to "unlimited" and sets the stock to 99.

Oh, my Lord. Did I post that?

Smooth Criminal

 

[Fawriel]

*brings Smooth Criminal a cup of hot chocolate and pats his back because he was having a bad dream*
*and apparently sleepwalked, too*

Well melee had basically 3 Mario's a big waste of 2 characters.

wot

 

[Wiwiweb]

Sakurai says : "Hey, this topic is full of good ideas ! I'll use some."