Sakurai says: Due to an enormous demand of new characters by my affectionate nsiders, Super smash brothers brawl will feature them all, for a grand total of 35684 playable ones! In Brawl, as in any other super smash brothers game, characters are essentially trophies filled with the love of fans, so the more they are appreciated, the stronger they become! Check daily our smash DOJO to see what character is more voted in our weekly survey and destroy your naive friends with your overpowered monster!
Sakurai says: A new super exiting update! Now Break the targets and Home run contest feature alive and aggressive sandbags and targets! Because you gotta fight hard to get your record!
Sakurai says: Due to many complaining mails about kirby's swallow being unrealistic and completely different from any other kirby game, now his swallow move will both take the opponent's ability and kill him. Because that's what kirby does in any other game. He eats stuff. And gets their power aswell.
Sakurai says: Wow, i can't believe i could've got that far with an april fool. Anyway, seeing the tremendous appreciation from nintendo fans, i've decided to really create SSBB. Anyway, due to the short time deveolpers have got before the release date, they will use sprites taken from fanboy sheets on the internet thorughout the whole game creation.
Sakurai says: Lately i've become interested in joining the cause for reviving old and forgotten consoles. Because of that, Brawl will be for Sega CD + 32x, will feature passwords to unlock characters and stages (since there's no memory there for saving anything) and the use of controllers like the Power glove and Game boy camera to move your character.
Sakurai says: To avoid players keeping defending and therefore not partecipating in a super fun 4-people brawl, we've decided to completely remove shields and dodges from the entire game (except for the adventure final boss, me, who will have an invincible and bulletproof one). This will also speed the game up, which will satisfy most people's requests.
Sakurai says: Brawl will have online mode. With this game, you will finally have the possibility of playing with your friends all over the world! Isn't that totally awesome and super explosive fun?? Anyway, for having this possibility, you must upgrade your game to Super smash brothers Vista, that will feature new exiting updates, like character restrictions due to copyright issues, a completely innovative privacy violation system, a full 3 seconds of extra lag for every move, and the new, super-duper, 1337 h4x0rz mode, that will permit your computer to hack with ease the weak internet defenses of the OS and get into other people's wii where you can control his character, make him suicide or even delete his whole data!!!
Sakurai says: Due to total lack of developers' fantasy, we've decided to implement the whole Worms arsenal in the item list, including the ill-famed airdrop, the nuclear bomb, and the golden mule as special features!
Sakurai says: The 4-player brawl you're playing doesn't satisfy you? It doesn't really look like a brawl with only 4 people on the screen? That's what online is for! The one and only online feature (other than the obvious and super-duper fun stickers trading mode) will be 16-PLAYER GAME! Yes, i'm serious, you will able to play with 15 other friends to make your Brawl look really like a brawl! With a second thought, anyway, we decided to satisfy all appetites, even the most hardcore ones, with a professional mode! This mode will feature the same moveset for every character (it will be Ridley's, BUT he won't be in the game due to lack of memory space), only Final destination as a playable stage, and no background music, to make every player fully concentrate into the game! This way the dream of every professional player of perfectly fair matches is accomplished!
Sakurai says: It seems like the banana peel hasn't been given the importance it really deserves, so to make it more appealing we've decided to change the way it works. Now, when someone steps on it, they will begin slipping all over he place, until they get to an edge, fall off and selfdestruct! And, most important of all, the banana peel will start chasing people at extra speed as soon as it's dropped! Isn't it super special awesome fun?
Sakurai says: Seeing the success of World of Warcraft as an online game, we've decided to implement the MMORPG factor into Brawl online game. You won't be able to fight or talk to other online players, but interacting with NPC sandbags will be possible (and obviously fun), and you will able to complete looooong quests and spend wii points to power up your character and his gear! Also a FSP turn-based RPG mode will be available.
Sakurai says: All the 486 pokemon will be in the game under the control of Pokemon trainer, and every single one will have a separate moveset! First of all, his down-b will randomly switch between all his pokemons (he really doesn't remember where the f*** he put his Charizard), making it impossible for the player to choose the one he wants and making his gameplay so much variable and fun! Secondly, the memory space this abominio occupies made it impossibe for the developers to create any more character other that the ones you've already seen, so have fun with the ones we've already unveiled and don't wish for more. Its useless. *insert demonical laughter here* *Sakurai throws a smoke ball at his feet and disappears*
Sakurai says: Due to the stickers' ill fame they don't deserve at all, we've decided to make them more useful. During battle, you can stick any sticker of yours onto the enemy, wrapping him in adhesive pain and totally incapacitating him for 2 minutes! But there is more: is you use a sticker that matches the character you used it onto (i.e. you stick Toad on Peach) you get double points! .... Oh, i haven't told you yet, bonus mode is the only available mode.
Sakurai says: Due to the extreme quantity of budget i needed to use to create the stickers and their online trading mode, we won't have servers to host any online mode. Instead, 3rd party servers will be happy to host your matches for the right price (every month) and only 500ms of lag!