Written by Veta
Published by Rai
Edited by Rai
Other people were performed by Rai
Bastion as Bastioncon
Atev: For some reason, I envision myself inside the oval office, in a duel with Obama.
Atev: It's an epic battle.
Atev: I hold a pistol in my right hand, a katana in left.
Atev: At one point, after a struggle, he shoots me in the right shoulder with a powerful gun, I jerk back, but recover instantaneously and spin around to my right and shoot him in the heart.
President Megamanz: *Slowly claps*
Atev: Yeah, that what the true Obama did. Slowly clap.
Atev: After I pushed him off, I couldn't believe it. The future president was really this ****** He was President. He is President... Megaman.
President Megamanz: IT'S MEGAMANZ! NOT MEGAMAN MOTHER ****ER! *Kicks Veta into a pit of death*
Atev: I didn't say Megamanz.
Atev: Rather, his worst enemy. Megaman himself.
President Megamanz: Well played, my friend... Well played...
Atev: Needless to say, there was an epic battle.
Atev: I was alone. I knew I was alone. He is one, he is many.
Flashback Obama: I am legion, for we are many.
Atev: Obama. That face... That grin... He slashed me in many places using an decorative sword. It was fancy. A real gem.
President Megamanz: O=={=============> Like this?
Atev: No. It had a ruby near the point. One that shone in the sunset, matching that of my own blood, as I screamed in pain.
Atev: It was more like •---{======•=>
Atev: Anyway, where was I? Oh, yes. I knelt before him, weak, his laughter reaching my ears.
Atev: 'So... You think you can defeat me? I have the whole army under my very fingertips! I control the most powerful country in the world! I am the one, the most powerful man in the world!'
Atev: Or so he said. He charged his Megaman blaster, and aimed at me. As I stared into this blinding light, I saw a tiny glimmer of hope. Within a split second, I rolled, grabbed this hope, and slashed Obama across the face with his own dropped sword.
Atev: I chuckled, my eyes under my sweaty hair. Even if I can't see, I knew True Obama was surprised.
Atev: 'Well... Even they all can bleed.'
Atev: Obama was pissed. Real pissed.
Atev: Anyway, he was pissed. Real pissed. Really pissed.
Atev: As much pissed as an angry back guy can get.
President Megamanz: XD
Atev: With that angry black guy stare that will scar babies for life. That face... That is the same one I had met, face to face.
President Megamanz: Jesus I hope an angry black guy doesn't read this...
Samuel L. Jackson: >_>
President Megamanz: ****...
Atev: I had the decorated sword in my hands, decorated with the gems of the ****ed, the jewelry of the living, and a pearl of Michael Jackson, god rest his soul.
President Megamanz: *Sheds a tear*
Atev: It was also decorated with my own blood... How poetic. I could feel those thoughts run through Obama, as he stood still on the other side, that grin frozen, his suit waving in the winds, and in his hands...
Atev: A bat. Not just any bat, but one brought straight from the streets of Bel-Air and had nails on it. The other hand contained that abnormal Megaman Blaster.
Atev: To the side of me, swarms of his own personal army came. They are the Secret Agents. They are the Alpha to your Omega.
Atev: ... They are the beginning to your end...
Atev: ... They are the Pepsi to your Cola-Coca...
Atev: ...Mr. Smiths....
Atev: Anyway... They are Mr. Smith. The many. The elitist. The porno actors.
Atev: Obama's eyes seemed to glow red, instilling fear inside my own body, crawling out like some bad burrito.
Atev: For this... This is the smell of Fear.
Atev: I charged forward, alone, knowing I had no choice but to fight, fight to the very death and stop this ****** influence.
Atev: The world controlled by a black guy... It was truly a sight not to behold.
Samuel L. Jackson: >_>
Atev: The schools in Africa were named after Obama. Everywhere, in the theaters, the stage reenacted the play of Snakes on A Plane.
Samuel L. Jackson: XD I may be ridiculously offended, but **** *****! Dat ****'s funny!
Atev: On tv, Blazing Saddles played on half the channels 24/7.
Atev: Billboards were replaced by KFC Chickens and advertisements for watermelons instead of billboards on pizza and Victoria's Secret.
President Megamanz: Oh noes, teh black pride mob is here! Run Veta!
Atev: Flipin' Flava were promoted to the head of the Senate, in which he proceed to make horrible MTV music shows... Politically. Brainwashing hundreds of millions, turning them into zombies.
Atev: But the worst of them all... A sin that cannot be forgiven and must be punished, no matter the cost...
Atev: A law have been passed by Barrack Obama himself, phobiting the sale of horror movie in which the black guy dies and prevented future productions of such, efficiently cutting movie sale down by 98%
President Megamanz: THAT *******!
Atev: ... Which is why I'm here, even now. The Mr. Smiths fell, slain by my cursed sword, side by side, until the worst of them were yet to come. Now... Obama and me are alone.
Flashback Obama: It's mine, you fool! America is mine!
Atev: Never! I won't let you rule America! You are a black man; one that eats chicken and waffles together for breakfast, you are the one promoting drugs, you are the one putting white men in jail, for they cannot dance!
BastionCon: Nor can they jump. And that would be Flava Flav further down, Veta.
Flashback Obama: *Eats watermelon* Silence! It is people like you who taint America! America is, and always was Chicked Country!
Atev: I stared into Obama's squinted eyes, as he revealed something that even I couldn't bear, his smile glowed brightly, blindly, as I struggled to see what it was.
Atev: 'No... It cannot be...'
BastionCon: America, the land of the greasy and asinine.
Atev: A golden tooth. One that is hardy, unable to be brought down. It holds the secret DNA material for the creation... Of the perfect race. One in which there is no stereotypes, one in which all races are combined.
Atev: I stared.
Atev: I know.
Atev: I knew.
Atev: I could never let this happen.
Atev: Obama let out an evil laugh. The bad guy... They always were the bad guys.
Atev: In movies. In relationship. In the music business.
Atev: And now...
Atev: A helicopter flew in across the sunset. And through the gaze, I could see it wasn't friendly at all.
Atev: This helicopter, equipped with 4 50 cal chainsaws and two boxes of nukes, the armor almost impenetrable, the rotors whirring loudly... And none other than Washington in it.
Atev: But it wasn't the Washington of the past. Oh no, not by a long shot. As it came closer, it became clear it was Daniel Washington.
Atev: The Allstate Commercial Guy.
President Megamanz: BUM BUM BUM!
Atev: I ran. I ran as fast as I could. The guns opened up on me, the thunder streaking after me.
Atev: I kept running, across the White House, shooting the helicopter. The helicopter returned with a nuke, trying to blast me into oblivion.
Atev: I dodged, I kept running, until I found myself in front of Abraham Lincoln Mountment. The great Washington stood on the other side of the lake, the helicopter flying over the sunset-orange lake.
Atev: Obama wasn't far behind. He ran. He ran. He ran as if he stole something.
Atev: I gasped. I knew there was no escape. I waited patiently, for the helicopter to rip me apart to shreds. It opened fire, the strong vibration and shockwaves reaching my very nerves.
Atev: The streets around me crumbled away to mere dust. The dust blew into the air. The air ripped apart as if it was paper. The paper burnt up. The fire hissed at this very bullet.
Atev: All around me, the mountument crumbled, chips and blocks falling off. The bullets started getting closer, that I could feel them brush by me. I was about to face death, and I knew it. Obama stood there, on the laps of Abraham, watching... Waiting...
President Megamanz: *Gasp*
Atev: But then... Time slowed down all around me.
Atev: I could see bullets flying.
{Flashback}Daniel Washington: DAAAAAMN! Awww SHI-!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Atev: As the bullets slowed down, Daniel cursed. He cursed as if there was no tomorrow. I was shocked myself to see that the very fabric of time and space were being ripped apart.
Atev: The space ripped apart, sending a force that ripped the helicopter into three, exploding and sending it onto the water, fire matching the sunset.
President Megamanz: *Claps*
Atev: Out floated a human figure. He had his hands facing foward, his legs straight, he floated slowly down to the lake. Wind, water, and time had no meaning as he actually walked on water, with leaves and fire floating slowly around us.
Atev: I stared in awe. Obama, however, still had that grin. I kept staring, as the men walked on the lake. His face were being slowly revealed in the light.
Atev: ...God?
Atev: ................... Morgan Freeman?
{Flashback}Morgan Freeman: Veta, my son. Sometimes we gotta find the god resting in all of us.
Atev: Are... God... Are you really... Black?
{Flashback}Morgan Freeman: *Pulls off mask to reveal Flava Flave*
Atev: Gasp... The head Senate of the House of Representatives!
{Flashback}Flava Flave: YEAAAAAH BOIIII!
Atev: I watched in awe, as this black man revealed himself. However, the real Freeman showed up, and blasted Flava away, hostile against me in protection of Obama.
{Flashback}Morgan Freeman: You got something againes't Obama?
Atev: The lake started to split, showing the bare pavement underlenth. The water made towering shadows, blotting out the sun. I stood on one side. He stood on the other.
Atev: Morgan started raising his hand. A small ball of energy materialized, and he raised another hand. The energy grew larger and larger, further sealing my death
Atev: I ran halfway through the hall of the lake, throwing my sword at him. It simply bounced off his aura, and behind me, Obama could be heard mocking me, that white boy can't jump.
President Megamanz: XD
Atev: I cursed my luck, and saw with wide eyes, the energy forming. Morgan looked at me, almost tiredly, world-weary, his eyelids a third from closing.
{Flashback}Morgan Freeman: We will meet again at another time, my son...
Atev: He released the balls of light at me. The waves behind it started to collapse, the air around it twisted, and the pavement cracked. Dozens upon dozens of cheap pennies that thousands of people tossed into the lake got their wish when it flew into the air, raining on my head.
Flashback Obama: Goodbye Veta, just remember this.... I'M THE FIRST BLACK PRESIDENT MOTHER ****ER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
Atev: I heard this last taunt, and tossed up my arm to shield my eyes, closing them. I expected the worst. I expected... Death.
Atev: But nothing.
Atev: The water were all around us. I could feel them brush against my skin. I was deep into the watery grave. I felt alone...
Atev: The man.
Atev: He had come to save me. I had escaped death.
Atev: Megamanz swam up to the surface, holding me in his arms.
Atev: I was saved. I was free. I am free. A free man.
Flashback Megamanz: God, I hope you're a ******, then it'll be HALF righteous...
Atev: Megamanz charged his own beam at Morgan, while floating among the water. Morgan calmly looked on, staring as Megamanz blasted away.
{Flashback} Morgan Freeman: Ah, Megamanz. My old nemesis. How nice to see you again. Still think you can beat me?
Atev: After an epic battle, Megamanz shot off a last round, and Morgan Freeman cursed to go- I mean, himself, and retreated, folding space around him.
{Flashback} Morgan Freeman: Care for some tea later, Megamanz? I know you must be very busy, but a little chat never hurt anyone.
Atev: All that was left were Obama.
Atev: My target.
Atev: The last black president.
Atev: Obama was pissed. Again. But he's pissier. With the return of Angry Black Man Face.
Atev: He screamed. His cursing defied that of a black woman's dictionary. He jumped off the statue of Lincoln and ran towards the lake.
Flashback Obama: I'm gonna shove my foot so far up yo' *** you ain't gonna be able to take a **** without cuttin' my toe nails!
Atev: I turned to look, along with Megamanz. Obama ran, still as if he stole something.
Atev: But then... A moment of weakness.
Atev: Obama fell, straight into the lake.
Atev: He screamed for help, but was garbled by the water.
Atev: He called to Abraham Lincoln for help, but the statue never moved an inch.
President Megamanz: XD
Atev: It was ironic, indeed, to see a living icon betrayed by a historical one, one that had helped many like Obama escape their former fate.
Atev: I looked with sasification. I knew it.
My mission is over.
I have defeated Obama.
and with that... Megamanz left a final word.
Black man can't swim.
)
