does this rag smell like chloroform? AZ ANGER!!!
Oh my god its started again, so I must tell you guys this story (stealing the intro from Anchorman):
This is based off of a true story, just the times events and characters have all been changed.
So I started teaching a self defense/womens studies course called
AZ ANGER!!!. Just something simple to help guys get girls to like them/go on dates with them.
Unlike most martial arts, I don't use colored belts to show promotions in
AZ ANGER!!!
Instead they get weapons upgrades. This is the order:
Self defense
Tranq Gun
Tazer
Baseball Bat
Chloroform
Hand to hand combat
Now the reasons they are in this order are as follows:
-Self defense: Now how embarrassing would it be if you go attempt your
AZ ANGER!!! and the girl beats the hell out of you!? Now some of us are all to used to this (Taj) but for the rest of us it wouldn't be a very fun experience. So once you have mastered all the levels of martial arts I have you may move on to the next level/weapon.
-Tranq gun is easy to use and the skills to pass this level are simply learning to load, reload, squeeze the trigger, and getting her body hidden before someone see's you. Of course you fail your testing if you don't yell "
AZ ANGER!!!" when shooting the gun.
-Tazer: Not to be confused with the tazer gun which is an optional pre req course. The tazer test requires quick hands, which is needed after startling the girl by yelling "
AZ ANGER!!!" Knowing where to hit to make her incapacitated the fastest is also tricky.
-Baseball Bat/Club: Ok now this is where things become difficult. Although the baseball bat is easier to hit with than the tazer, it is also potentially more lethal. So you have to master your own strength and know exactly how hard to swing. This stage is also increasingly difficult because people tend to get so caught up in the yelling of "
AZ ANGER!!!" that they keep swinging. Come on Tai, we don't want to show off our
AZ ANGER!!! on a dead girl do we?
-Chloroform: Ah yes the most popular of all the levels. But one of the most tricky. You must master stealth, surprise (not to be confused with ****), and you must know how to not sniff the cloth right after (or before) having her smell it. Use of the shadows is a must. If you can yell "
AZ ANGER!!!" and get her while she looks around in shock, you'll be set :D
-Hand to Hand: as said earlier, what if the girl you're going after can kick your *ss? It won't be pretty. As well what if she's also a master of
AZ ANGER!!!???? Not a fun experience. So you must learn to master boxing, kick boxing, tai kwon do, wrestling, jujitsu, brazilian jujitsu, Street Fighter II, and the twins style of self defense.
Potential mind games you could use on your every day
AZ ANGER!!! experiences based on a difficulty rating of 1 to 5:
-If a girl is walking you can run up yelling "Ma'am you dropped this" and then proceed to drop her with a tazer as she turns around.
Difficulty rating: 1, it's pretty easy.
-If a girl is walking with her friend(s) you could pull an Equilibrium stunt and take them all out with your bat.
Example:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ENh3sQuOmf8
Difficulty rating: 3 to 5 depending on number of girls and their
AZ ANGER!!! training.
-Pretend to smell the chloroform before asking her if it smells like it.
Difficulty rating: 4. Sometimes you really do smell it and then you have a potential reverse
AZ ANGER!!! on your hands.
Good luck and happy training :D
So that's always an option for you, too. I think North has a team. Most schools 'round here do.
