No Johns!

[Vijin]

What is the dumbest/silliest/funniest John you have ever heard? And no, I'm not talking about RX!

 

[Popertop]

The dog walked in the room and distracted me.

 

[Caleb Wolfbrand]

"Come on man, Sheik can't beat Young Link"
LOL

 

[Cobrot]

"The tv is playing mind games!"

 

[XIF]

Man you guys don't know johns til you've heard Omega johns.

The legend of GA himself.

 

[BD iBear]

..........because you touch yourself at night

 

[Will_]

The lotion made it hard to get a grip.

 

[*P*L*U*R*]

The lotion made it hard to get a grip.

That's what she said

 

[Pritch]

"You only beat me because peach counters marth. Seriously, this matchup is unwinnable."

 

[Dogysamich]

Lets see.

Some of the best johns I heard (not from me)

"Falco is overpowered. There's no way Jiggs or Peach can do anything to him" -My trainin buddy from college.

"I was about to win, but I need to get my chicken out of the oven" -Same guy (he's a white guy btw)

"I thought going sheik at the end would have been a good idea." -Zelda/Sheik player from years ago (We had a tourney at VSU, this man plays zelda for 3 stocks, gets ***** all 3, is getting ***** on his last stock, and then goes sheik @120% thinking he's gunna make a comeback)

____

Some of my favorite johns that I have said (Some are non smash related)

"Well see, I would have beat your *** if I wasnt playing Metaknight."

"What's today? Monday? I hate mondays."

"Oh you were about to get *****, but I was completely distracted by Sakura's panties." (I Was playing Sakura)

"I started sweatin' chicken grease, and some of it rolled down into my eyes."

"I'da won if I woulda hit something with my Wind Sault, but I got blown off course midflight"

"My visor was on crooked."

"****, I thought I grabbed the wrong color sweatpants today."

 

[Mike G]

"I was thinking about this girl"

 

[Dogysamich]

That one's a classic.

 

[Monk/Honkey/Banana]

This tv is too old

 

[Popertop]

"I hate getting gimped at zero."

"I haven't ever gimped you at zero, *******."

"That's your fault."

 

[Laijin]

"Someone stole my controller and now I have to use another one!" - M2K.

 

[*P*L*U*R*]

"Someone stole my controller and now I have to use another one!" - M2K.

but... doesn't he still win tourneys?

Winning johns bruise the ego. ;_;

 

[lw0nderbreadl]

im used to wifi

 

[Zoro]

I have legitimate controller johns

I side b off the stage with falco 2 times per game
my character continuously walks to the left no matter how many times i reset it

I still cant play with any other controller though so im screwed lol

 

[everlasting yayuhzz]

Man up and break a new controller in or get that one fixed. NO JOHNZ

 

[Zoro]

Man up and break a new controller in or get that one fixed. NO JOHNZ

i suppose ill have to

 

[yummynbeefy]

sheik vs marth 2 mins into the match
"WHAT IM MARTH!?!?!?!"

mah fingers were sweaty
your stomach growled and it distracted me
i couldnt see anything
i hate this character

 

[OmniOstrich]

I got lost in CF's chest
This neutral is a CP when you play _______
(on my opponent's counterpick) dude gtfo your main thats gay as hell to win and not switch
I can't play vs peach(melee)/pit(brawl) with the sound on

 

[Laijin]

but... doesn't he still win tourneys?

Winning johns bruise the ego. ;_;

This was when he was only placing third and second. Not first.