Dang, I've realized how big of a bummer it is that this thread is dying...all the hype shared here. The insanity,
the funny comments, the endless times the mods threatened to close it down...so many good times and now they're just archived away
.
be in third grade at a school assembly
have to chit real bad, feeling ill and feverish
we all get seated on the gym floor
holy f**k Hugo the Hornet is here! (Charlotte Hornets' NBA team mascot back when they were the Charlotte Hornets)
still have to chit so bad that I'm having cold sweats
wearing gymshorts, no underwear (I had a phase in elementary school where I just didn't wear any, felt good man)
Hugo the Hornet starts picking up kids and flipping them over in his hands and setting back down starting to feel dizzy from holding in my chit
see him walking my way
he's coming RIGHT FOR ME
he picks me up and begins to flip me over
he's squeezing my gut
as I'm upside down, diarrhea begins to fly out of my ass and out the leg of my shorts, arcing through the air gracefully start screaming
gets all over Hugo and sprays all over the kids sitting in front of me,hear it plop on the gym floor as well it also gets all over my face and in my mouth because I was screaming
Hugo then drops me on my f***ing head, into a pile of my own chit, hear him loudly say "WHAT THE F**K!!"
Hugo takes off his head and reveals himself as a black man. He pukes on the floor.
the music has stopped, the room is dead silent
assume the fetal position
covered in my own chit and can't stop farting/chitting as I lay there
start crying
pass out
wake up with someone carrying me out of the gym, holding me at a distance the tiny breathable holes in my gymshorts work like a chit colander, leaking chit water everywhere, leaving the hard bits in my shorts
pass out again