Kips
Smash Ace
Metaknight is a sexually transmitted disease, and that is an absolute truth. This is a *******ized version of SamuraiPanda's explanation in greater (much greater) length and detail, mostly for humor, and a bit of truth. Ok, maybe a lot of truth.
Why, you may ask, is he an STD?
All it will take is one Metaknight main (the initial carrier of said STD) to enter the scene. After thrashing one person enough repeatedly (read: Soul Crushing meets anal sex), that person will realize there is no decent matchup against Metaknight EXCEPT Metaknight. This means more Metaknight mains and at a startling rate as each Metaknight will spawn another Metaknight, and then those two Metaknights will each spawn a Metaknight.
Thus they will begin to play Metaknight (read: Have genital herpes) and soon they will feel the urge to play others with their Metaknight (read: ****) and the contagion spreads through the population as everyone realizes the only logical choice is Metaknight. Not that having an STD is logical, but bear with me here.
Now some people might say Yoshi is a good answer- I'd like to refute that.
Yoshi is comparable sexual awareness videos. Everyone knows he's there, and he can help cut down on the amount of STDs... but is anybody really going to rely on him? Is anybody going to go OUT of their way to watch a video on STDs? I certainly know there are better ways to be spending my afternoons, so why wouldn't I just go out there into the world? And suddenly contract an STD (Metaknight) that is.
Thus Metaknight is the ultimate STD- easily transferable, unable to be defeated, and has huge priority so that the doctor can't even get close enough to kill the STD with fire.
If we don't stop this plague of Metaknight we'll ALL be playing Metaknight if only to soul crush the people who are bad at Metaknight (read: Your ***** is bigger and thus has more STDs covering it, enabling maximum conversion power).
Diddy on Final Destination has been mentioned as a "counter". Think of this like a quarantined STD patient in a hospital. In the hospital the STD patient is locked off from spreading their disease and thus is less of a threat. Once the STD patient is free from the restricting hospital they will be free to run around and spread their STD (Read: Win Tournaments) and it only leads to a perpetuation of the STD. Soon the STD may even develop a resistance to common cures and remedies and spread even further. (Read: Metaknight usage goes up, condom usage goes down)
Thus MKSTD (Metaknight Sexually Transmitted Disease) could even afflict our political leaders- Represented by Azen, Ken, and Isai, easily recognizable faces. With America's impressionable youth as well as the world at large it's more than possible that they will want to get an MKSTD after seeing their heroes with MKSTDs. They'll say:
"By golly, if an MKSTD is good enough for Mr. Mccain (read: Azen), Mr. Obama (read: Isai) or Mrs. Clinton (read: Ken), then it's good enough for me!"- Impressionable Youth #24
And thus the STD will grow in popularity until it has consumed our society and is now "the cool thing to have." Advanced techniques will be developed for this STD (read: more sex positions) and soon it'll be unstoppable. The STD Video (Yoshi) will be something that everyone fears and avoids like it was, ironically enough, an STD. The STD Hospital Cure (Diddy on FD) will suddenly become obselete as the MKSTD grows (read: gains an erection) and then THE MKSTD TAKEOVER WILL BE COMPLETE. We'll all have STDs together, isn't that wonderful?
Yay for MKSTDs. This will probably offend some people- sorry if you were offended. I still think it's pretty funny.
Why, you may ask, is he an STD?
All it will take is one Metaknight main (the initial carrier of said STD) to enter the scene. After thrashing one person enough repeatedly (read: Soul Crushing meets anal sex), that person will realize there is no decent matchup against Metaknight EXCEPT Metaknight. This means more Metaknight mains and at a startling rate as each Metaknight will spawn another Metaknight, and then those two Metaknights will each spawn a Metaknight.
Thus they will begin to play Metaknight (read: Have genital herpes) and soon they will feel the urge to play others with their Metaknight (read: ****) and the contagion spreads through the population as everyone realizes the only logical choice is Metaknight. Not that having an STD is logical, but bear with me here.
Now some people might say Yoshi is a good answer- I'd like to refute that.
Yoshi is comparable sexual awareness videos. Everyone knows he's there, and he can help cut down on the amount of STDs... but is anybody really going to rely on him? Is anybody going to go OUT of their way to watch a video on STDs? I certainly know there are better ways to be spending my afternoons, so why wouldn't I just go out there into the world? And suddenly contract an STD (Metaknight) that is.
Thus Metaknight is the ultimate STD- easily transferable, unable to be defeated, and has huge priority so that the doctor can't even get close enough to kill the STD with fire.
If we don't stop this plague of Metaknight we'll ALL be playing Metaknight if only to soul crush the people who are bad at Metaknight (read: Your ***** is bigger and thus has more STDs covering it, enabling maximum conversion power).
Diddy on Final Destination has been mentioned as a "counter". Think of this like a quarantined STD patient in a hospital. In the hospital the STD patient is locked off from spreading their disease and thus is less of a threat. Once the STD patient is free from the restricting hospital they will be free to run around and spread their STD (Read: Win Tournaments) and it only leads to a perpetuation of the STD. Soon the STD may even develop a resistance to common cures and remedies and spread even further. (Read: Metaknight usage goes up, condom usage goes down)
Thus MKSTD (Metaknight Sexually Transmitted Disease) could even afflict our political leaders- Represented by Azen, Ken, and Isai, easily recognizable faces. With America's impressionable youth as well as the world at large it's more than possible that they will want to get an MKSTD after seeing their heroes with MKSTDs. They'll say:
"By golly, if an MKSTD is good enough for Mr. Mccain (read: Azen), Mr. Obama (read: Isai) or Mrs. Clinton (read: Ken), then it's good enough for me!"- Impressionable Youth #24
And thus the STD will grow in popularity until it has consumed our society and is now "the cool thing to have." Advanced techniques will be developed for this STD (read: more sex positions) and soon it'll be unstoppable. The STD Video (Yoshi) will be something that everyone fears and avoids like it was, ironically enough, an STD. The STD Hospital Cure (Diddy on FD) will suddenly become obselete as the MKSTD grows (read: gains an erection) and then THE MKSTD TAKEOVER WILL BE COMPLETE. We'll all have STDs together, isn't that wonderful?
Yay for MKSTDs. This will probably offend some people- sorry if you were offended. I still think it's pretty funny.
