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I've been seriously considering it, but the thing is, being with him has made me immensely happy.Dump his ***, and find someone better for you. Tell him you're looking to be more than someone else's plaything.
we don't try speach first anymore?i think i agree w/ Xsyven on this one. after hearing that i'd just leave or make him leave
possible he doesn't see it from your point of view, but that he can.i think its an insult that i've been w/ said person, literally poured out my heart and soul for them then find im no different that our buddies in the relationship? at that point im gone before i do something bad.
meh i've given up on relationships mostly. blind hope is getting very irritatingWell, at least he has someone to call a 'boyfriend.'
I saw my friend today with his boyfriend and it made me realize how lonely I am. I mean, I've always wanted a boyfriend, but seeing them together gave me a whole new perspective on having a relationship.
Oh college, please hurry!
i think its an insult that i've been w/ said person, literally poured out my heart and soul for them then find im no different that our buddies in the relationship? at that point im gone before i do something bad.
well he went back to Desu promising momogomy though.......... but w/e thats just my view. in reality i probably would attempt talking, but it seems pointless after hearing that and you can't make people change so i don't think he can go to being the way Desu was hoping even if talked too.
well you have to think about the kind of position he's in. Desu kinda already explained that it's not a one-sided relationship, and he does get something out of it from being with him. I think it'd be a mistake if he just up and left a potentially good thing.I'd dump his sorry *** too.
Smooth Criminal
Yeah, but at what cost? I don't think you would want to be reduced to little more than a ****-buddy if you were looking for an honest relationship with someone else. Would you? Judging from what Desu mentioned, it sounds like the guy wants to reduce him to little more than a side-order while compounding main dish after main dish. That doesn't bode well for either side of the equation; one will be insatiable and the other will be miserable because the other is insatiable.well you have to think about the kind of position he's in. Desu kinda already explained that it's not a one-sided relationship, and he does get something out of it from being with him. I think it'd be a mistake if he just up and left a potentially good thing.
it's why i said to talk and get some **** straightened out. The guy doesn't seem too bright to say stuff like that but without actually knowing the guy (like Desu does) I can't say for certain that he actually meant what he said.Yeah, but at what cost? I don't think you would want to be reduced to little more than a ****-buddy if you were looking for an honest relationship with someone else. Would you? Judging from what Desu mentioned, it sounds like the guy wants to reduce him to little more than a side-order while compounding main dish after main dish. That doesn't bode well for either side of the equation; one will be insatiable and the other will be miserable because the other is insatiable.
Tell me how this is a good thing, bro.
This is just my opinion.
Smooth Criminal
It doesn't seem like it's too one-sided from what Desu has said, it's just the guy's idea of a relationship seems to be different than Desu's. If he hasn't already, it should just be a talk to get the all the cards on the table. Not a "lets help mend our relationship" talk, but just to see where they both stand in this. I'm confident in saying that things will go much smoother if there aren't questions left unanswered if he sincerely feels there's nothing between them anymore.You deserve better. As tempting as it is, just to be close to him, being in a one-sided relationship is the worst feeling ever. It's not worth the emotional damage, the constant wishing for something more. There's nothing more emotionally damaging than giving your heart to someone, but getting nothing in return but pleasuring him more, on his own terms. I've had the experience. I see it as a red flag now. Quit while your ahead.
And that's exactly why you're not qualified to make the judgment call in this case. You're too eager to equate his scenario with your own. You want to see the similarities so that you can feel good about dumping someone by proxy.>_> You mean Desu, Mr. O. Desu.
It's easy for me to say something like this because I was objectified in a similar fashion by someone I was supposed to ****ing marry.
Rofl, no they aren't, and yeah they are. Sure, specifics are all different, but that's about it.People are unique and no two relationships are the same.
Technically speaking, neither one of those things are required for love. This is just the westernized, clean-cut perception of what love is, which is anything but accurate.Rofl, no they aren't, and yeah they are. Sure, specifics are all different, but that's about it.
Love is simple, which is what makes it so complicated. It boils down to two things. Sex, and commitment.
You're posting what I wanted to say... I wasn't sure if I should, so I kinda didn't say anything on that matter. I wanted to post twice already about it, haha.But honestly, who are any of us to say anything. Do what makes you happy. Just make sure to think of how happy it makes you, and how you think you'll be feeling in the long run. If you don't see a future, don't waste your time perusing the inevitable.
while Sex is overated a bit, but commitment is important otherwise people wouldn't mind being cheated on now would they?. polygamy, i'll let others interperate that as it is.Technically speaking, neither one of those things are required for love. This is just the westernized, clean-cut perception of what love is, which is anything but accurate.
Without getting too philosophical, who is to say that polygamy is immoral? For that matter, since when was sexual attraction the only basis for affection?
There are many, MANY faces to love, and none of them are the same.
Let me put it to you this way - what about people that don't? When you use terms that are deliberately anathema like "cheated on" in order to put a negative twist on an idea, of COURSE you're going to dislike it. But I'm going to surprise you a little bit with some things: first, humans aren't naturally monogamous. It is, in fact, an unintelligent instinct that stifles relationships, harbors resentment and jealousy, creates selfishness and insecurity, and is generally inefficient.while Sex is overated a bit, but commitment is important otherwise people wouldn't mind being cheated on now would they?
Well, I really hate to sound like a ****, but what gives you the right to tell me I'm not qualified for something?And that's exactly why you're not qualified to make the judgment call in this case. You're too eager to equate his scenario with your own. You want to see the similarities so that you can feel good about dumping someone by proxy.
Since people are greedy by nature wouldn't that mean some want multiple people too cause they are greedy and unsatisfied by one?humans ARE monogomous by nature because they are greedy by nature. They find a person they love and they want that person all to themselves.
This is wrong. Humans are, like every other animal, naturally bisexual. <_<Humans are also naturally heterosexual
Scientific evidence please otherwise that's nothing but idle chatter.This is wrong. Humans are, like every other animal, naturally bisexual. <_<
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d68_vlLD60YScientific evidence please otherwise that's nothing but idle chatter.
that operates under a few assumptions:Since people are greedy by nature wouldn't that mean some want multiple people too cause they are greedy and unsatisfied by one?
The music to that video was incredibly chirpy.
Let me put this another way: if you are in an agreeably open relationship, then there's no need to put your paw over your metaphorical bone and growl at anyone that gets too close, simply because you don't perceive of the other person as a threat, the way we're conditioned to now.humans ARE monogomous by nature because they are greedy by nature. They find a person they love and they want that person all to themselves.
For accusing a person of making assumptions, it's actually you that's making an awful lot of silly assumptions, here.basically if you want a relationship, and you know that "branching out" is going to hurt your relationship, you need to ask yourself "Is it really worth it?" Psychological needs (companionship) are ranked higher than physical needs (sex). Which is to say that, while sex is more basic, and probably needs to be met FIRST, as long as that desire is being met ENOUGH, then the companionship is more important and it would be foolish to throw away companionship for extra sex when you're getting enough as it is. the Nymphomaniac may disagree, but the normal psyche does not.... hence monogomous relationships.
Tell me this: why WOULDN'T he? Even though you're allowed to be with other people, you're still in a dedicated, caring relationship with him.that operates under a few assumptions:
a- that all other benefits of the relationship would remain intact.
i.e. if I sleep with 3 other people becuase once person can't satisfy me, will that first person still maintain the other things he does because he's my boyfriend? I.e., will he care about me when I'm having a bad day? Will he take me out once in a while? Will he hold my hand while we're walking? Will he even stay with me? Etc.
I do, for one. Again, I've never come across a relationship that was an exact match. They don't even do that in most storybooks, it's just that implausible. At the risk of sounding crass (and I'm risking that a lot for people that aren't taking time to heed the logic of my words), you don't wear the same clothes every day, and you don't eat the same food every day. There are certain clothes, foods, and people that all complement various different moods and aspects of one's personality and physical desire. I know from personal experience (and you'll notice that I have done everything possible to avoid anecdotal discussion up to this point for fear that it would taint my perspective on things) that the single person that satisfied even all of my PHYSICAL desires would look freakish, because some of those desires aren't even compatible with each other. I could toss some of those desires by the wayside in favor of fulfilling other desires as dictated by society, but why not satisfy as many of them as I can if I'm able to do so without harming anyone?b- that more=better.
Who says getting it from 3 discrete sources is even going to be much better than getting it from only one?
You're right. Booty calls AREN'T relationships. As such, this really has no bearing on this conversation, because we're not talking about booty calls, here. We're not talking about eople that just like to have random flings and then ignore people. What you did was ASSOCIATE the two ideas with each other, when they're two completely different things. What we're discussing is committed, loving relationships involving any number of people. It could be two. If all needs are truly met and no further desire is held by either party, then there is nothing wrong with that. For that matter, though, it could be six. Why not? The love's still there. The commitment is still there. The only thing that's missing is the arbitrary exclusivity.c- that these other sources would give me what I want.
booty calls =/= relationships.
While you're right that I might have come down too hard on you, my fundamental point still stands. It wasn't your opinion that bothered me, in and of itself. It was the suggestion that you gave as relates to your opinion, which is something different entirely.Well, I really hate to sound like a ****, but what gives you the right to tell me I'm not qualified for something?
That's part and parcel to dispensing an opinion, Orion. Basing it off your own personal experiences.