Weeeeellp... it was suggested I come here, and I've not even a single post to my name... and this is a travesty. Why? It means you all lack my wonderful insight, my skillful weaving of words, and my own brand of pure, unadulterated boulderdash. No forum should be without the latter!
So, hello out there to the brave souls who are showing their true colours (every single one of them, heh heh) out here. And hello too, to the quieter ones, wondering if they should speak up for themselves (you should!), and also to those supporters that this thread has. Kudos!
So, who am I? Well, I just go by Fae for the most part. I'm twenty-one, male, currently residing somewhere in the more backwater and quiet parts of the U.S. I'm Australian though, actually (why is it, as an aside, you Americans find my accent so sexy? Heh heh), and I moved all ten thousand of those kilometers to be with my boyfriend, a relationship built steadilly over the course of years.
Unfortunately said relationship disintegrated when some strong incompatibilities were discovered about nine months after I arrived, and I ended it. Proof I guess that even if you bridge the gap in a long-distance relationship and leave your home behind for someone... it's not always a sure thing. Fate works in odd ways like that.
Ah well. That's enough backstory on my current life and such. Although an oddly amusing fact to consider is that while I still live with the ex-boyfriend I moved here for (awkward, much?), I also live with ANOTHER ex-boyfriend, though he and I only had the long-distance relationship thing, never something more 'real'. Buggered up, eh?
I honestly think I'm kinda odd when it comes to how I found out I liek teh bois. It was a long-time thing for me, and I supppose it's a side-effect of exactly how I was raised (or not, as the case may be - a story for another time and an emo thread, heh heh). I've always been open-minded, even as a bloody five year old, heh. When someone told me something was wrong, I would always ask why. And I would always assemble the facts before I decided myself if it was really wrong, or just a society wrong. It forms a core of who I was, growing up.
So knowing that, I became very very tollerant of people, and in particular, gay people. Growing up, I never knew a single gay person... well, I probably did, and I never knew it. I wasn't in highschool... probably because of a severe lack of supporting friends to coax it out of me, nor any cute guys to partake of. That and the fact that even with me honestly believing I wasn't, I was picked on constantly, and words like 'gay' and '***' were constantly thrown around. Probably didn't help me open my mind up further.
I didn't really open said mind until about... mmrrf... a year? Or so after highschool. I had a friend, Matt, a lovely, sweet guy. We grew close very very quickly, surprisingly so for innocent little me (note: Faora Meridian has a dirty, dirty mind. He is, however, completely and blushingly innocent in a lot about life). Anyway, I ended up doing some wondering. It didn't take much... my thought process was pretty much, "This is a nice guy. Wait... being with him would be a bit gay, wouldn't it? Hmm. Does it matter? Nope. Do I care? Nope. Will he care? ... let's see." And I did. And he didn't care, either. And thus, my first disasterous relationship was born!
Anyway, I essentially called myself bi for a considerable amount of time after that. With my view on sexuality, and life in general, it didn't really make sense for me to tag people with 'straight' or 'gay'. I still don't, unless they insist they be tagged as such. Over time however, I found my interest in females waning considerably. It wasn't something I minded very much; essentially I figured that this was the last of society's imprint on me being washed away gradually by my experiences, and showing me for who I am. I'll pretty much call myself gay, but that sliver of my personality would allow for female interactions if the right one came along. Not bloody likely though. *winks* I love boys. Lots. Ah well. That lengthy block of text is me, in a nutshell. At least regarding this particular topic. *chuckles*
One other little aside before I go. I'm not ashamed. Shame is an emotion I simply do not feel, under any circumstances, gay or not. I don't get embarrassed easilly, and when I do, I'm laughing at me too. I'm out to my parents (oohhh-hooo, I'm LUCKY I don't feel shame, heh heh), most of my family knows (refer to above bracketed comment), and everyone around me usually finds out fast. I don't volunteer the information from my bedroom unless it's asked for, and even then, those words are generally restricted to certain people. But I am open about who I am, and I like who I am. Sure, there's intollerant buggers in the world who'd like to do me harm for who I am. Let 'em. This is teh intarwebs, where we can say ad be who we are without fear of serious incident. I don't care what they can say here, and I don't care what they think they can do RL. I am who I am, and nothing they say or do will change that. *smirks* So let 'em try.
Never be ashamed of who you are. Be honest with yourself, and let people know that no matter what they do, you are who you are, and nothing will change it. I think if I can leave one (shorter, heh) message for this thread, and those going through problems with acceptance and the like... that would be it.
Take care guys! *wavies*
- Fae Meridian