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Ken's Peach Theory

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slartibartfast42

Smash Lord
Joined
Dec 29, 2006
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1,490
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Canton, Ohio
In my area there are 5 peach mains I'm aware of... One is actually gay (legitimately, nothing against that), two are fat, one is effeminate (me) and the last is vidjo (who is apparently effeminate/metro).
 

B0x

Smash Apprentice
Joined
May 12, 2009
Messages
107
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Boring, OR
tbh the same rule should go for any1 who mains marth.

the guy has a ****in tiara.
 

Rappster

Smash Ace
Joined
Jun 9, 2008
Messages
569
Location
Torrance, CA
SephirothKen's Peach Theory 2: Your potential as a Peach is determined by how gay, effeminate, metrosexual, and/or fat and white you are.

If we can get someone who is all 4 to play Peach, he'll be better than Armada.
how is someone metro and gay at the same time?
 

Rose

Smash Journeyman
Joined
Aug 29, 2005
Messages
327
Location
PA
The best peach in my area tucks his junk and wears fake breasts in public.

on an unrelated note I think there should be a rule for samus and link players being true bros.
 

Strong Badam

Super Elite
Administrator
Premium
BRoomer
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Messages
26,545
i use fox :(

thankfully my sexuality won't be questioned due to my character choice
 

shounenkel

Smash Journeyman
Joined
Aug 11, 2008
Messages
351
Location
in the bahamas
Lol, i was talking to some random dude on Oh Ps3, or PsN... we were talking about video games an stuff like that, an I'm like Melee, do you know about that game, he said yeah i do, he asked me who to you main i said PEACH!!.....Hes like ohhhhhhKay, so your gay or Bi, I'm like wtf dude >_>,, Puff players are Homo, you have to have some kind of gayness somewhere in you to play that little "batch" "Jiggle MotherFacking Puff"
 

DTR

Smash Journeyman
Joined
Jul 21, 2005
Messages
211
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In my area there are 5 peach mains I'm aware of... One is actually gay (legitimately, nothing against that), two are fat, one is effeminate (me) and the last is vidjo (who is apparently effeminate/metro).
i main peach and ive played you at 4%s house. am i gay or fat?
 

.Marik

is a social misfit
Joined
Sep 2, 2008
Messages
3,695
Yoshi players like to eat a lot.

I'm sure Shiri can confirm that, I main Samus now though.
 
Joined
Oct 5, 2008
Messages
7,187
Anyone remember that one pre-concieved noticions about people who play certain characters thread? Yeah, I took notes.

http://www.smashboards.com/showthread.php?t=249450

Fox
showoff, legit, relaxed, oblivious, think they're elite, love being technical, take the game really really seriously,

Marth
cognitive, love to torture, "Marth players are players who hate brawl with a passion because edgeguarding is the most fun part about melee to them" calm, patient, perceptive, libra,

Sheik
Jerks, just in it to win, selfish,

Falco
cocky, showoff, relaxed, oblivious, complain about his weakness, douche bag, black,

Peach
"either gay, effeminate, metro sexual, or a big fat white guy" irrational, easily angered, overly emotional, ridiculously skinny, smile a lot, "peach players ALL (including me) all hate each other and are very unwilling to learn from one another. they all have big heads and think they know better than everyone how to play peach." hate each others' accomplishments

Jigglypuff
Don't know how to play any other character, bad a life, prideful, enjoy fast food,

Captain Falcon
manly, showoff, play least gay, have the most fun, funny, outgoing, really loud or really quite no in between,

Ice climbers
silly, frustrated really easily, really cool when not frustrated,

Samus
somewhat strange, friendly, black,

Doctor Mario
black, friendly, smart well spoken players,

Ganondorf
awesome, friendly, loud, tough, flashy, never complain about his weakness, more manly than Falcon players, skinny white guys

Luigi
stuck in the 80's, goofy,

Donkey Kong
friendly, bulky/strong,

Mario
combination of Luigi and Doctor Mario mains,

Link
cool, talk a lot,

Pikachu
casual, cool, relaxed, at least 6 feet tall,

Young Link
whiny especially about how broken Marth is, at least 6 feet tall,

Roy
way too hyperactive, think roy is capable of way more than they should give him credit for, easy to hang out with,

Zelda
"Generally pretty cute, regardless of gender"

Mr. Game & Watch
2-dimensional,

Ness
big heads

Yoshi
Smile a lot, eat a lot,

Bowser
loud, prideful, delusional idiots who think Bowser has a chance, don't care about winning and only play because he's cute,

Mewtwo
have a top tier secondary,

Kirby
aren't serious about life, pretty funny,

Pichu
Don't exist



ppl who play brawl:
30%scrub
80%admit melee is better, only they think its too late to get good
20%play both
100% of the competitive scene play it for glory and money. usually not for fun.

The truth about people who play different tiers:
Top tier: Whores
Mid tier: Fun
Low Tier: Stupid
Mix of Tiers: Crazy
All tiers: Madness
Doesn't play tiers: Ur wrong
 

Shoopman

Smash Journeyman
Joined
Jan 14, 2010
Messages
260
Location
Central NJ
That pegs me as a Marth pretty well. Props for saying that Ganon players are more manly than Falcon players.
 

DualCats

Smash Ace
Joined
Dec 24, 2009
Messages
502
Sir, I'm certain I exhibit tendencies of being at least 4-dimensional. :V
 

Siglemic

Smash Journeyman
Joined
Jul 3, 2009
Messages
425
Location
Vancouver, WA
peach Players All (including Me) All Hate Each Other And Are Very Unwilling To Learn From One Another. They All Have Big Heads And Think They Know Better Than Everyone How To Play Peach." Hate Each Others' Accomplishments
yeppers

10char
 

TresChikon

Smash Lord
Joined
Jun 25, 2009
Messages
1,730
Location
@ the barnyard
Pichu
CARZY
fix'd

ICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICGICG
 

Nintendude

Smash Hero
Joined
Feb 23, 2006
Messages
5,024
Location
San Francisco
Anyone remember that one pre-concieved noticions about people who play certain characters thread? Yeah, I took notes.

(text removed)
Some of these seem to perfectly fit one primary player but nobody else:

Fox: m2k
Sheik: drephen
Falco: lambchops?
ICs: wobbles
Link: HDL
 
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