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I'm really angry about hearing this joke, so now it's the official bad jokes topic.

Hawks go Caw

Hawks go Caw

Smash Ace
Joined
Feb 28, 2008
Messages
598
Location
New Orleans, LA
What do you have when there's nuts on a wall?
Wallnuts!!!
What do you get when there's nuts on your chest?
Chestnuts!!!!
What do you get when there's nuts on your chin?
A **** in your mouth :D !!!!
 
Hawks go Caw

Hawks go Caw

Smash Ace
Joined
Feb 28, 2008
Messages
598
Location
New Orleans, LA
exarch said:
What do you get when you throw a hand grenade in a French kitchen?

Linoleum Blownapart.
Click to expand...
. .. . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .................................................... ...... . . . . . . . . . . . . .. .jugogbl. buifdrwaysdfiuh; . My head jusdt :burst:
 
Handorin

Handorin

Smash Hero
Joined
Dec 2, 2005
Messages
6,013
What's the difference between Hitler and michael phelps?

Michael phelps can finish a race.
 
CRASHiC

CRASHiC

Smash Hero
Joined
Oct 27, 2008
Messages
7,267
Location
Haiti Gonna Hait
So I was on a date with this girl, I ordered the egg plant, she ordered the polish sausage. Did I mention I'm polish?
OH MY GOD!

My Ma tells me I need to exercise more.
I say, What are talkin about Ma? I'm doing 12 reps a night back here.
What are you talking about? All you do is drink?
Yeah, there are tewelve cans in a pack. (opens bear cabinet, pulls out twelve pack) Ah 1, ah 2, ah 3, ah 4.
OH MY GOD!

My son comes up to me and says, I want to study abroad in Paris.
Why do you need to go to Paris to study a broad, I've been studying right here all night. How's it going tuts?
OH MY GOD!

Now some poems.

If you race my car, you'll get there first,
that's cause I drive a hearse!

If we are having a conversation, and i'm starting to fade
It might be time for the grim reapers blade!

My wife says, what do you want in your Easter basket
I said, doesn't matter, I'll be in a casket.

So my friend told me yesterday, do you want to smoke weed,
I said, Yeah, if you wanna get tombstoned.

My waiter came up to me and asked if I wanted some choclate Moose
Said no thanks, I'm getting ready for the hang man's noose!
 
XIF

XIF

Smash Master
Joined
Nov 30, 2003
Messages
4,711
Location
ZOMG Duluth, GA mostly... sometimes Weston, FL
CRASHiC said:
So I was on a date with this girl, I ordered the egg plant, she ordered the polish sausage. Did I mention I'm polish?
OH MY GOD!

My Ma tells me I need to exercise more.
I say, What are talkin about Ma? I'm doing 12 reps a night back here.
What are you talking about? All you do is drink?
Yeah, there are tewelve cans in a pack. (opens bear cabinet, pulls out twelve pack) Ah 1, ah 2, ah 3, ah 4.
OH MY GOD!

My son comes up to me and says, I want to study abroad in Paris.
Why do you need to go to Paris to study a broad, I've been studying right here all night. How's it going tuts?
OH MY GOD!

Now some poems.

If you race my car, you'll get there first,
that's cause I drive a hearse!

If we are having a conversation, and i'm starting to fade
It might be time for the grim reapers blade!

My wife says, what do you want in your Easter basket
I said, doesn't matter, I'll be in a casket.

So my friend told me yesterday, do you want to smoke weed,
I said, Yeah, if you wanna get tombstoned.

My waiter came up to me and asked if I wanted some choclate Moose
Said no thanks, I'm getting ready for the hang man's noose!
Click to expand...
*circuits burning and fuses blown*
 
Collective of Bears

Collective of Bears

King of Hug Style
Joined
Nov 10, 2007
Messages
6,507
Location
North Carolina
NNID
Gark430
3DS FC
1805-3069-0371
Two cannibals are in the jungle eating a clown. One cannibal turns to the other and says, "Does this taste funny to you?"
 
Handorin

Handorin

Smash Hero
Joined
Dec 2, 2005
Messages
6,013
Commander Blitzkrieg said:
Two cannibals are in the jungle eating a clown. One cannibal turns to the other and says, "Does this taste funny to you?"
Click to expand...
.........I was just about to say to say I have never understood this joke even after I heard it for nearly 4 years from one of my teachers.

And I just got it.

Man, Im slow.
 
NickRiddle

NickRiddle

#negativeNick
Joined
Jan 3, 2006
Messages
9,912
Location
Florida
A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?"

Two blondes walk into a building.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are in the third grade. Which one has the biggest ****?
The blonde, she's 18.

Now, a good joke, if you're Jewish.

A rabbi is camping in the woods when he sees a bear. Instead of doign the smart thing and playing dead, he freaks out and starts running. The bear starts chasing him. The rabbi runs into a cave, and when he hits the end of it, he stops. He closes his eyes, and begins praying to God.
"Oh please God, help me through this. I have been a devout follower, and will praise your word even further if I make it out of here alive." He turns, and sees the bear stand on its hind legs.
He then hears, "Baruch atta adonai, elochenou melech haolum."
The rabbi says, "Oh thank you God, thank you!."
He then hears, "Chamotzi lechem meen ha'aretz."

Somebody in this thread better get that **** joke.
 
Master Raven

Master Raven

Smash Master
Joined
Mar 25, 2008
Messages
3,490
Location
SFL
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a centipede?

A media circus about the debate over the morals and ethics of genetic engineering.

Why did the banana explode?

Because it was a grenade.


What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza?

A Jew is a person adhering to the Jewish faith, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, usually circular bread covered with tomato sauce and cheese with optional garnishes.

I love anti-humor.
 
F Zero

F Zero

Smash Journeyman
Joined
Apr 3, 2009
Messages
402
Location
Florida
i agree with hiroshi. this thread is F-in hilarious. Jokes that are bad are funny, because they are so stupid. I facepalmed at the pokemon jokes and said to myself "THAT'S SO ********!!" but then I laughed, because of the stupidity.

What do you use to fix a broken fire?

A FIRE DRILL!
 
BearsAreScary

BearsAreScary

Smash Journeyman
Joined
Feb 22, 2007
Messages
360
stolen from sleepy because it's not in this thread yet:

Ryu's son: Hey dad can I go to the mall?
Ryu: SUUUUUUUUREYOUCAN
 
zyzzx

zyzzx

Smash Cadet
Joined
Apr 29, 2008
Messages
48
Location
Winter Park, Florida
Master Raven said:
What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza?

A Jew is a person adhering to the Jewish faith, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, usually circular bread covered with tomato sauce and cheese with optional garnishes.

I love anti-humor.
Click to expand...
that actually made me laugh... O_o
 
exarch

exarch

doot doot doot
Joined
Feb 15, 2005
Messages
3,333
Location
Usually not playing Brawl. Location: Enterprise
A string walks into a bar, and sits down to have a drink. The barkeep looks over and says "HEY! We don't allow strings in this bar!" and throws the string out of the bar.

The string then rolls around in the dirt and mud, getting all tangled and ragged.

The string walks back into the same bar, and the barkeep looks up again. He says, "Hey! What are you doing in here again? Aren't you that string?"

The string looks back and says, "Nope, I'm a frayed knot."
 
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