Girls/Guys/Relationships

[Deleted member]

Jammer you need to realize that if you're in a relationship and you're getting absolutely nothing from it, you're trying to squeeze blood from a rock..

That kinda **** is really detrimental man. Who cares if someone has the attitude of "this doesn't work, find another"..that's how this kinda thing goes man.

Don't use women. Just don't be with one you're not into. That's called leading someone on, and the longer you're in it the more damage you do to the both of you, and of course the more wasted time that could be spent with better, more attractive, more interesting women

Edit: Masahiro, if you leave her an ultimatum that's essentially breaking up with her, I'd just straight up do it like you would a bandaid..else it's gonna get messy

 

[Jammer]

Of course, DeLoRtEd1. I agree with you 100%.

It just seemed to me that a few people here (cough, cough--the ones who read self-help dating books--cough, cough) have a slightly more cynical view of dating than I think is right.

 

[MASAHIROx]

straight rip that **** off

i like that

deff the best thing to do as of now. like you said, its just gonna get worse...

i will not cheat

 

[Deleted member]

Do it ASAP and follow up with those other girls. It's funny cause I was in the exact same situation as you. Best decision I ever made.

 

[Cinder]

Delorted...that is one of the smartest things I've heard so far...you took the words right out of my mouth...I know what you mean...my girlfriend kinda gave me an ultimatum...two weeks later, it was over...we're still close friends, though:bigthumbu

EDIT: darn it! This conversation's goin' too fast for me >_<...

 

[Black Waltz]

Of course, DeLoRtEd1. I agree with you 100%.

It just seemed to me that a few people here (cough, cough--the ones who read self-help dating books--cough, cough) have a slightly more cynical view of dating than I think is right.

hwut are you implying?!?! its not more cynical, its just more realistic in the sense that women always want a dominant guy who knows what hes doing. and i dont really consider DYD or The Game to be self-help dating books. more like a book on the unpredictable psychology of women and what it takes to be able to unlock the full potential of a man's sexual prowess.

 

[Cinder]

^*looks at dominant ex-girlfriend*...not always...some women like control...

 

[Jammer]

I guess we just disagree, Black Waltz. I think you're just more of a womanizer than me.

And, not to get into an argument or anything, I don't believe that women always want a dominant guy. I think the best thing for both parties is for the relationship to be pretty much equal.

Sure, you can get lots of sex if you know how to handle women and you can act dominant or whatever, but I find that you get a deeper relationship when you both respect and care for each other equally; when the woman owns the man as much as he owns the woman.

 

[Pluvia's other account]

And, not to get into an argument or anything, I don't believe that women always want a dominant guy. I think the best thing for both parties is for the relationship to be pretty much equal.

Sure, you can get lots of sex if you know how to handle women and you can act dominant or whatever, but I find that you get a deeper relationship when you both respect and care for each other equally; when the woman owns the man as much as he owns the woman.

I was just about to say that exact thing! I was typing it, I just didn't know how to word it properly.

 

[Black Waltz]

I guess we just disagree, Black Waltz. I think you're just more of a womanizer than me.

And, not to get into an argument or anything, I don't believe that women always want a dominant guy. I think the best thing for both parties is for the relationship to be pretty much equal.

Sure, you can get lots of sex if you know how to handle women and you can act dominant or whatever, but I find that you get a deeper relationship when you both respect and care for each other equally; when the woman owns the man as much as he owns the woman.

i would never use overpowering dominance on a woman if i were in a serious relationship such as marriage. that leads to several problems. but at least for the part where you grab a woman's attention and make her want you, showing dominance is incredibly vital to keep HER from using you as a boy-toy, buying her everything she wants, etc.
well, gents, i'll be retiring for the night. good night and good luck in your ventures into the female psyche.

 

[Deleted member]

You don't need a book to tell you that girls are unpredictable.

Ugh look, being assertive is everything, once you're figured that out, you need to get rejected once or twice to realize that maybe sending nice poetry isn't such a great idea a lot of the time.

Girls get scared when you tell them you love them without anything.

Jammer, being dominant in a relationship isn't about owning the person

It's common knowledge that girls are way too indecisive to decide on what movie you're gonna see

that's why they need someone to make that decision firm and then go with it..unless they downright disagree. Screw the books, why is it called double your dating when a lot of the people who read them have 0 dates

0 x 2 = 0, boys


edit:

good luck in your ventures into the female psyche.

Abandon all hope ye who enter here

 

[Jammer]

Jammer, being dominant in a relationship isn't about owning the person

It's common knowledge that girls are way too indecisive to decide on what movie you're gonna see

that's why they need someone to make that decision firm and then go with it..unless they downright disagree.

I know. I agree. I said "the woman should own the man as much as the man should own the woman" in mostly a Bible sense.

You think that girls are too indecisive to choose a movie? Have you ever asked what movie looks good to them, and actually cared about the answer?

I've found that girls have just as strong opinions as guys. They just repress them when they know the guy is calling the shots. That's probably instinctual, because girls generally want to avoid physical confrontation with guys.

When the girl you're with trusts you and feels like your equal, she acts like your equal. She says "Yes" and "No" with a "man's" confidence. It's a wonderful thing, if you ask me.

Then again, maybe the girls I gravitate toward are the owns who would traditionally be called "strong-willed". But I think that's just another word for "not submissive".

 

[Deleted member]

No no no I don't think girls are indecisive enough to choose a movie...I just think that to look cool or chillin the girl will let the guy decide because he's probably paying

Edit: Yeah man, I understand.

Allow me to pick your brain for a sec..

Then again...

all of your posts have been back tracking, letting everyone read your thoughts saying that you could be wrong. This is indicative, at least to me, that you're slightly indecisive yourself. Not that that's a bad thing, but it could be a potential weakness or liability

 

[MASAHIROx]

Delort i got you

the only problem in this thread is that theres 3 or 4 diff age-groups. this is deff a time to respect your elders for your own good.

 

[Deleted member]

Hahaha true, whatever though, glad I could help..because seriously my situation felt really really ****ty, don't want anyone to suffer that

 

[Jammer]

No no no I don't think girls are indecisive enough to choose a movie...I just think that to look cool or chillin the girl will let the guy decide because he's probably paying

That's another thing (besides you totally changing your stance on whether or not girls are indecisive):

With most of my girlfriends, we payed for things pretty much equally.

I mean, if I didn't have a job, and was only running on the money from mowing people's lawns or whatever, I couldn't afford to always pay.

When we both have real jobs, I probably pay only a little bit more than what she pays, and that's just because when we go to a fancy restaurant I usually pay (but not always).

I get the idea that men are pretty much expected to pay for everything, which I think is wrong is this nearly equal-gendered society.

My girlfriends never really had any problems with it. I'd just tell them, okay, I don't have much money, so you'll have to pay for about half of our outings, and she almost always be totally fine.

Try it out, guys. Just remember to pay for the romantic dinners or whatever.

EDIT:

[Jammer saying "Then again"]
all of your posts have been back tracking, letting everyone read your thoughts saying that you could be wrong. This is indicative, at least to me, that you're slightly indecisive yourself. Not that that's a bad thing, but it could be a potential weakness or liability

Oh, I think almost everyone knows they can be wrong. Does saying that out loud make them indecisive or potentially weak? Sure, at first people may look down on you for not having strong character or whatever they want to call it, but after a while, they'll learn that they can trust you to accurately portray your certainty on important matters. I think that's more important than being seen as "strong" and "decisive" by other people, who really aren't any "stronger" or "decisive" than me on the inside.

Then again, I could be completely wrong on this.

 

[MASAHIROx]

lol my girl pays for e v e r y t h i n g.

i stopped trying to pay 2 weeks in.

 

[GoodNess]

Wow this thread has got some boots on it. I just want to preface by saying that I've followed DYD in the past, and I know that using those techniques really helps to attract the ladies. I also know that his techniques are only a portion of what is required to make a lasting relationship. It's Double your Dating, not Build your Relationship.

My ex-girlfriend just recently broke up with me after 5 months. On Halloween! Merry Halloween! Anyway, there were a few reasons we broke up, one of them being some major differences in belief-systems, but she basically felt that we had lost the spark. I realize now that the only reason I had been with her in the first place was because she was so into me from the get-go. I didn't really like her. She came onto me and I accepted.

I accepted because the LAST girlfriend I had was something similar to Zook's whole thing. I was nuts about the girl and she didn't really like me, but over a period of time I used DYD techniques and won her over... but she still didn't really have the same feelings (probably because I gave up the power in the first place by telling her I liked her so early on) and eventually broke it off with me. It was a pretty good relationship because we were good friends, but the chemistry wasn't there.

That's why when this recent girl came onto me, I was like, "hot-****, this is easy!"

Don't do that. It didn't work because as much as I ended up liking her, eventually, I never really gave her the passion that she knew I COULD give. I'm upset with her because she just broke it off when it got hard, even though I put SO MUCH EFFORT INTO LIKING HER. Irony.

All you youngun's (I'm 22): Listen to these guys who've read the books and know a thing or two about women. It will open your eyes. It's in NO WAY using women or treating them as inferiors, it's simply unlocking your potential for attraction. Once you have these skills, it becomes a part of you.

Never be anyone other than yourself and don't go into a relationship trying to change the other person.

 

[MASAHIROx]

this whole book reading thing...

no comment.

i go to friends, parents and especially other girls for advice. and smashboards cuz its fun.

 

[GoodNess]

The people who wrote the books are just guys who are super experienced and are sharing their knowledge for money. Advice is advice, no matter where you get it. KNOWLEDGE MAKES YOU STRONGER.

 

[Jammer]

Oh crap, now GoodNess is in this thread. I just want to say one thing before I hit the sack:

I just want to preface by saying that I've followed DYD in the past, and I know that using those techniques really helps to attract the ladies. I also know that his techniques are only a portion of what is required to make a lasting relationship. It's Double your Dating, not Build your Relationship.

I knew I wanted to say something, but I couldn't figure out what. Thanks, GoodNess, for saying that for me. It clears up a lot of confusion.

I'm more interested in a happy relationship. The older guys seem to be more interested in dating itself. Perhaps they're just disillusioned about love.

Man, I hope I never start dating for the sake of dating. And I hope I never try to "double my dating" so that I feel better about myself.

No offense to those who have "doubled their dating", of course.

 

[Deleted member]

Jammer, I was referring to the first date scenario, my bad. I split things with my girlfriend all the time.

I buy one dinner, she buys the next..so on, so forth

Also, I didn't mean in any way to offend you with the indecisiveness, and I'm glad you admit it. I'm indecisive on lots of stuff. Agnosticism is a huge for me. You probably don't believe me but I wake up in the morning every day and seeing the sun surprises me every time.
I also assumed that you were having some trouble getting some girls, so I'm sorry, I'm not sure why I thought that..anyway, my main tip was being assertive. K I'm rambling.

 

[Pluvia's other account]

Well for me, the thing that worked was compliments and constant flirting.

That worked for Vikki. Most of mine were oh so corny, but heck, they worked eventually!

Vikki: "Oh man I need those shoes! I think they just look so fantastic, don't you?"

*Pause, nudged by John*

Me: "Oh er, I just think you look so fantastic all the time. "

*We all laugh*


That was the kind of things I did.

But that was back when I was an insecure 13 year old and she was a flirtatious 15 year old. Now I'm 16 and she's 17, and lying asleep to my left just now.

 

[MASAHIROx]

deymn Europe does big things.

on a sunday night? congrats.

 

[Jammer]

Jammer, I was referring to the first date scenario, my bad. I split things with my girlfriend all the time.

I buy one dinner, she buys the next..so on, so forth

Also, I didn't mean in any way to offend you with the indecisiveness, and I'm glad you admit it.

I also assumed that you were having some trouble getting some girls, so I'm sorry, I'm not sure why I thought that..

Heh, okay. I'm not sure what you're talking about, but okay. I'll remember that I misunderstood you and that you were smarter and more reasonable than I originally thought.

You didn't offend me. That's pretty much impossible to do. Offend me, that is.

Heh, having trouble getting the girls? Not hardly. I think my relationships with girls has brought me more genuine happiness and growth than anyone I know.

Now I'm 16 and she's 17, and lying asleep to my left just now.

I don't know what to say. Generally, no sex before marriage. So far, that's worked well for me (I'm only 17, though).

Well, I'm really off to bed now. This thread has been great.

 

[Pluvia's other account]

@Jammer,

I would much rather have sex with someone who I know, trust and love, than someone who I only met a few hours ago.

 

[GoodNess]

Oh crap, now GoodNess is in this thread. I just want to say one thing before I hit the sack:



I knew I wanted to say something, but I couldn't figure out what. Thanks, GoodNess, for saying that for me. It clears up a lot of confusion.

You're welcome!

I'm more interested in a happy relationship. The older guys seem to be more interested in dating itself. Perhaps they're just disillusioned about love.

Man, I hope I never start dating for the sake of dating. And I hope I never try to "double my dating" so that I feel better about myself.

No offense to those who have "doubled their dating", of course.

Don't be so harsh. Many people who date are just as interested in finding a happy relationship as you are. Some others aren't so lucky as to find their soulmate with the first person they take to dinner, myself included. Dating is the way to find that special someone. It's not cheating for goodness sake and it's rarely just dating for the sake of dating. But, I am glad that you are serious about relationships when you are involved in them. That's the way I roll.

 

[Jazzy Jinx]

Argh... There's MORE of those group labels that I DON'T FREAKING LIKE.

I don't give a crap how many experiences you been through. I don't care about what any freaking book says. Not all girls want the same thing. Not all girls are the same. And not all girls are going to be swept off their feet by your pathetic attemps at dominance. I really hope that that is not your approach to dating; to try and figure girls out like they're tools and then use them until you can no longer get satisfaction from them. Because if so, you don't have even a sliver of respect from me. And what disappoints me even more is that I saw a few debaters actually saying that girls could be figured out as well. I really do expect more from you guys.

It might be hard for you to understand but girls CAN think for themselves too. They are also humans just like us. They're no lesser than us in any aspect. So stop trying to treat them as such! And you can go ahead and type up a long a** post about why girls can be figured out but I wouldn't waste my time because I'm not even going to waste my energy reading through that dreck. Even if girls could be figured out like that, it's STILL a ******* approach to dating.

Dating isn't about your sole enjoyment only. Take the female (or male) into account. The world doesn't revolve around your pleasure only. And cut it out with this "dominance" bulls***. That's the exact thing bad relationships are built on. Think about it. When you beat your girlfriend and she doesn't leave you out of fear, you're dominating her, right? When you **** her every night, that's dominance. When she has absolutely no control in the relationship, that's dominance. Dominance isn't good for s*** except your own pleasure and you're downright a sick individual if you think that's what you should do in a "relationship".

And making her pay for some stuff isn't dominance. That's a real relationship. If both parties are equal and happy then that is a healthy relationship. Dominance is reserved for animals and I hope we've evolved far enough to separate ourselves from the animals, right?

@Jammer: Dating for the hell of dating is not wrong in the slightest and I would even encourage it. You're NOT going to find the "one" by reserving yourself or simply searching. I just said that you're NOT going to find the "one" that way. It just happens when it happens. Reserving yourself doesn't do jack to increase those odds. And I've dated a lot of people for the hell of dating. It's for fun. Dating doesn't always have to be a serious step towards commitment ESPECIALLY when you're in high school.

I told a girl straight up one time that I wanted to go out with her for the fun of it and that there was no way I could fall in love with her because I was already in love with someone else and she seemed pretty cool with it. As long as both parties know it's just for fun then you CAN and WILL have fun.

/rant.

 

[pikachun00b7]

The people who wrote the books are just guys who are super experienced and are sharing their knowledge for money. Advice is advice, no matter where you get it. KNOWLEDGE MAKES YOU STRONGER.

Unless those guys who made it dated your lover, I would not think they can help.

Read the above wall for some super wall of text.

 

[Jammer]

@Jammer,

I would much rather have sex with someone who I know, trust and love, than someone who I only met a few hours ago.

I don't know what you're saying. I said, "No sex before marriage," and you came back with this. Do you mean that you're only going to meet your bride a few hours before the wedding? I'm confused.

Don't be so harsh. Many people who date are just as interested in finding a happy relationship as you are. Some others aren't so lucky as to find their soulmate with the first person they take to dinner, myself included. Dating is the way to find that special someone.

I apologize. The way it came across to me was that some people were dating for the sex, and not a real relationship.

I mean, I thought "Double Your Dating" actually meant "Double Your Sex". Those books talked about how to seduce the women, but did they say anything about how to have a lasting relationship?

I wasn't talking about everybody but me and that one other guy; I was only talking about two or three people in this thread.

@Jammer: Dating for the hell of dating is not wrong in the slightest and I would even encourage it. You're NOT going to find the "one" by reserving yourself or simply searching. I just said that you're NOT going to find the "one" that way. It just happens when it happens. Reserving yourself doesn't do jack to increase those odds. And I've dated a lot of people for the hell of dating. It's for fun. Dating doesn't always have to be a serious step towards commitment ESPECIALLY when you're in high school.

You're totally right. Dating for fun is pretty much what I'm doing right now. I mean, it's not like I'm going to get married to someone I've met in high school. Well, maybe I might, but I doubt it.

The thing that bothered me was some people were acting like dating was some kind of sport that they had to win. Whoever scores the most chicks is the coolest, right?

If by "reserving yourself", you mean "not having sex", then I agree that doing that won't have much effect on finding "the one", unless your potential spouse will only marry a virgin (as for me, I think I could marry someone whose had with another man). I think it will help reduce a ton of potential complications, though.

It's in the Bible, if that means anything to you. The Bible doesn't mean that much to me, but it does have some very good advice that helps you from screwing up your life.

I've seen three friends get STDs or knock up a girlfriend. They were all using condoms. I guess I just wouldn't want to take that risk.

 

[Pluvia's other account]

I don't know what you're saying. I said, "No sex before marriage," and you came back with this. Do you mean that you're only going to meet your bride a few hours before the wedding? I'm confused.

I didn't really understand your post either, you just said you didn't know what to say..

 

[Colino]

-GASP-! SON, YOU'RE A SAD, PATHETIC, NON-SOCIAL LIFE HAVING, RUNESCAPE PLAYING, NERD!

-***** slap-

D:

I realise how bad my words sounded, I was meaning to be somewhat ironic XD

And I think the whole "reserving yourself" thing is idiotic to the very least.

One of the most important things in a couple is their sex life (no one can state the opposite, and read well, sex life does not mean only sex, it means everything around it). It's part of what makes a couple what it is, and shows how intimate the couple is and how well they know each other. It's such an important thing to rule out before dedicating your life to another person..

but that's from a non religious person, if you're sparring yourself for religious reasons then whatever floats your boat I guess..

 

[commonyoshi]

Ugh, the whole "getting chicks" mentality makes me sick. Maybe it's because I've always been in a small school where everyone knows each other fairly well, but I definitely wouldn't want to see my friends treated like that, tossed out when they're not wanted. I'm not saying that it's good to stay with someone even though there's no spark. It's just unsettling to hear people talking about the next fish in the sea before they've even broken up with the person they're already with.

Zook. E-mail?

All right, there’s something I need to tell you, even though you probably already know, and that this will sound lame coming over the internet.

Well, when we first met, I didn’t care much for you. You were just one of Gagnon’s friends, and I didn’t consider you to be one of my own. Yeah, I was pretty indifferent. But, eventually, you entered my inner-friend circle, up there with John and Tuttle. I even consider you to be one of my best friends. Yet overtime… I did start to feel different towards you. I began to notice how beautiful you were, how much I enjoyed your company, how great I felt when you smiled at me.

Ok, despite it being an e-mail, it was actually pretty good up until here. By the way, Gagnon and Tuttle? Your friends have wicked sweet names.

You’re all I’ve been able to think about since last January. I’ve been constantly preoccupied with you during school, at home, in bed awake at night. I’ve tried getting over you, try to find someone else, but I can’t.

I have even written poetry about you. If you’d like, you can read most of them here: http://www.your-poetry.com/modules.php?name=Your_Account&op=userinfo&username=Dimes. Some of them are halfway decent, some pathetic, and others downright cheesy, but… whatever.

Other people have already said this, but dont tell someone you think about her every second of every day. That's a turn off no matter what.

And NO NO NO for poetry! AAARRRGGH! Our English class actually had a discussion about this before we left for Thanksgiving break, and it was a general concensus from the girls that they would get creeped out by someone writing poetry to them. The only time poetry is ever acceptable is if you're already together, and you better hope it's a freaking darn good poem.

 

[Shök]

KDJ would always say something about these kind of thing

 

[GoodNess]

Unless those guys who made it dated your lover, I would not think they can help.

Read the above wall for some super wall of text.

Yes, I read the wall of text and found it contained a lot of repetition to drive away at a single point that was critical of something that nobody in this thread actually said. No one here is treating girls as objects or "tools." At least, I am certainly not. If anything, I'm the one who the girls treat as a tool. There is a ****-ton of misconstruing going on here.

I don't think you understand how attraction works. There ARE universal things that attract humans.

Guys are attracted to women unless they are gay. That is a true statement, but WAIT! That is a generalization!! Therefore it can't be true! RIGHT!?

No one ever said that every woman is attracted to the exact same thing, but there are things that most women will find attractive in a man, universal things, like confidence and a good sense of humour. Actually, those are really the only two things any woman you ask, across the board, will admit as being attractive qualities. There are other attributes associated with attraction, but they will deviate from person to person, I find.

But to blatently say that these people who write books on attraction don't know what they're talking about is scientifically ignorant, since these are all things that can be proven or unproven very easily, just by testing it yourself.

 

[thaxceptional1]

this is probably the most pathetic thread on these forums. girl boy relationships? discussing it online? weak...

 

[Colino]

this is probably the most pathetic thread on these forums. girl boy relationships? discussing it online? weak...

did you mind reading some posts or was spamming your mean idea before even clicking on the topic title?
Thanks for your wonderful contribution in making this topic better!

 

[Black Waltz]

I don't know what you're saying. I said, "No sex before marriage," and you came back with this. Do you mean that you're only going to meet your bride a few hours before the wedding? I'm confused.



I apologize. The way it came across to me was that some people were dating for the sex, and not a real relationship.

I mean, I thought "Double Your Dating" actually meant "Double Your Sex". Those books talked about how to seduce the women, but did they say anything about how to have a lasting relationship?

I wasn't talking about everybody but me and that one other guy; I was only talking about two or three people in this thread.



You're totally right. Dating for fun is pretty much what I'm doing right now. I mean, it's not like I'm going to get married to someone I've met in high school. Well, maybe I might, but I doubt it.

The thing that bothered me was some people were acting like dating was some kind of sport that they had to win. Whoever scores the most chicks is the coolest, right?

If by "reserving yourself", you mean "not having sex", then I agree that doing that won't have much effect on finding "the one", unless your potential spouse will only marry a virgin (as for me, I think I could marry someone whose had with another man). I think it will help reduce a ton of potential complications, though.

It's in the Bible, if that means anything to you. The Bible doesn't mean that much to me, but it does have some very good advice that helps you from screwing up your life.

I've seen three friends get STDs or knock up a girlfriend. They were all using condoms. I guess I just wouldn't want to take that risk.

DYD features a small epilogue that introduces the notion of starting a relationship with a woman that one may feel like starting a long term relationship with. otherwise, DYD is a book to help not so studdly guys such as myself gain confidence in their ability to seduce women. for understanding long term relationships better, DeAngelo recommends "The Alchemy of Love and Lust" by Crenshaw and he even reiterates that his C&F technique should primarily only be used in the seduction->sex process, not for long term relationships. dating for a relationship is much different, because tyring to use C&F in a long term relationship is just plain stupid and will get you in a lot of trouble. i dont consider scoring the most women to be a sport, really. dating for sex is really just dating for fun in the adult world. im in high school and im a freaking nerd, but that doesnt mean i cant flirt with several girls, does it?

 

[Colino]

im in high school and im a freaking nerd, but that doesnt mean i cant flirt with several girls, does it?

finally! someone with some common sense! Just go for whatever life throws at you, don't miss any chances and you're set! Being a "nerd" is a minor problem, and just really depends on how you present yourself

 

[Black Waltz]

finally! someone with some common sense! Just go for whatever life throws at you, don't miss any chances and you're set! Being a "nerd" is a minor problem, and just really depends on how you present yourself

exactly! you see, im very busy because of my homework and violin and as a result i barely have time to do anything during weekends, so i dont go on dates and flirt instead.

during AP bio, i got this hb's selling temp really high and i almost made out with her but i made a fatal mistake while i put my arm around hers and she asked "what are you doing?" and i responded with "you said you wanted to make out right?" that response completely turned her off becuase i was seeking affirmation instead of leading her. i should have said "we're gona make out right now."