Girls/Guys/Relationships

[Blackadder]

I'm going to go with the flow here.

Because Josh is right, and so is Jam and Livvers.
Being 16 and in high school myself, I'm getting the same type of things every so often. I remember after my first "Girlfriend" (Which ended horridly and I tend to try and pretend it didn't happen XD) I went through all the "Omg I love her and she loves me and we're gonna marry and be together for..." stuff.

Eventually, someone told me that I was still young, I didn't love her, just had a crush, and chances are it'd go soon. Hey-hey, it did. And when I told her that we probably didn't really love each other, she got extremely mad and we cut all contact with each other.

Sure, I was a little hurt, but I did feel happier. I'd been in the relationship too long, and only really to "be" there, if you understand. It was nice to be single again.

So, a year or two on, I'm in a new school, and have several crushes. Obviously some are stronger than others, but I really do try and explore my options. Focusing on one girl can work. It can. But you're better off seeing what else is going round before you declare yourself "In love".

Check out other girls, see what's what. I'd keep this girl on the list to, but you know. Add to this list.

On another note, one thing I do wonder is what age people can really "love" at. Obviously it depends on maturity and such, but anyone have an idea?

Also, out of interest, what was your guys's experiance with your first girlfriends/boyfriends?

 

[Jam Stunna]

I don't think that love has much to do with age, but maturity as you suggested. If a 16 year old can be angry, then why can't he/she be in love?

Also, I married my first real girlfriend, so I'd say it went pretty well!

 

[Livvers]

Also, out of interest, what was your guys's experiance with your first girlfriends/boyfriends?

Ugh, mine was a mess that lasted too long. I wrongly stayed with the guy out of sympathy and not wanting him to get upset. We were actually great for the first one and a half years, but he changed after that. Was less caring and didn't put much effort into the relationship unless he thought it was in jeopardy. He was also selfish about the most petty things. This slowly happened more and more, and I was with him for another one and a half years(it was my first boyfriend and I was admittedly stupid). I finally broke it off with him when I moved to NYC. The sad thing is that he's a potentially nice person, he just has no family to help and support him, and he had some mental issues that he stubbornly didn't want to take medication for.

Now I'm in an awesome relationship with a guy I almost know I'm going to marry So, I'd say things evened out.

 

[MonkeyDash]

It's not love. You just have a crush. Chances are she knows it. If you try and tell her you are just going to scare her away. She is comfortable and happy with you being friends and won't want to change that. Trust me bro, I've been there more times than I'd like to admit, and I know how **** works now. Get over her and start to socialize with other girls. The only difference between her and the other girls is that you are friends with her. She is not particularly unique or "the one." Tell you what. When you socialize with other girls, and prove that you are socially savvy with them, she will find herself one step closer to great attraction with you. I know you are going to immediately think I'm wrong because it isn't what you want to hear and you just can't believe it's true, but dude TRUST ME on this. I've gone through that **** and I don't like seeing my fellow man get sucked into the trap.

Absolute truth. Socializing with other girls will improve a girl's attraction towards you. Developing a crush for one girl like this is a great way to get friend zoned, which sadly I've visited several times, and it f***ing sucks.

 

[Infern Angelis]

To tell the truth, not one advice is a good advice you should take. People, both man and female, all think differently,thats what makes each person unique. The obly one who can really know how to deal with the situation in the end is you, since you would be the one who knows best the person you are talking about. So all im saying is that do not follow every single detail of an advice you get, because in the end no one but you knows how your partner might react.

 

[Uchiha.Sanosuke]

I've kind of got one question here, and it's probably a lot easier than I'm making it out to be...

I've known this girl for ten or so years and we're pretty much best friends. We hang out and go to the movies and stuff and it's all real nice. But she has a boyfriend...not that I don't mind or anything. He's a great guy, not the type who'd go out on a Saturday night and get wasted.

The question that I had is whether or not it's a good idea to buy my friend a box of chocolates for Valentine's Day. I mean, not meaning anything behind it, just as friends. I don't want her boyfriend to take it the wrong way.

 

[Blackadder]

I've kind of got one question here, and it's probably a lot easier than I'm making it out to be...

I've known this girl for ten or so years and we're pretty much best friends. We hang out and go to the movies and stuff and it's all real nice. But she has a boyfriend...not that I don't mind or anything. He's a great guy, not the type who'd go out on a Saturday night and get wasted.

The question that I had is whether or not it's a good idea to buy my friend a box of chocolates for Valentine's Day. I mean, not meaning anything behind it, just as friends. I don't want her boyfriend to take it the wrong way.

I'd just ask the boyfriend if he's okay with it first, and if he is -- go for it.
If you've know the girl for 10 years and you two are really close, I'm sure she'll understand that it's just a "friends" thing.

 

[Blu-ninja]

There's nothing wrong with not being attracted to a certain group girls [such as ones your age or at you school], they might just be unattractive in different ways.

Basically girls that age are like flowers getting ready to bloom, once they go through their phases you might actually find yourself interested [or not] but in my experience girls can be very unattractive at that age, probably due to immaturity. I don't know many older girls but the ones I do know or have observed [no, I'm not a stalker, I'm just observative ] are almost always more mature and attractive in demeanor.

So yes, you should be more patient and wait for them to change. I recommend avoiding bringing this up with immature people because before you know it your story will get twisted and you'll be made out to be someone you're not.

thank you man.
and you guys!

youve all been a pretty great help!



@ Joshisrad

nah.
never had the time really...
but after going to my first smash gathering....
i know realize ive been missing alot. y'know?
---------

i have another problem relationg to the topic but,

ile pester you guys with it later.


thanks!

 

[Red Exodus]

I should probably know how to answer this question myself, but how do find how whether you're compatible with someone without making it obvious that you're interested?

I don't want to chase after a girl only to find out we have nothing in common and hit a dead end. Sure we could exchange interests to spice things up but what girl wants to play video games and watch anime all day? I don't have many hang out spots but since I got my license I might be able to get out more now so my hobbies might be less home based.

I also have trouble when it comes to actually talking to certain girls. It's not that I'm afraid to talk to them, it's just that we have different cliques so trying to engage in conversation randomly would be difficult and would probably end in failure.

There was another point to this question but I forgot, maybe when I remember I'll edit it in or post it but I can't remember.

 

[Pikaville]

Sure we could exchange interests to spice things up but what girl wants to play video games and watch anime all day?

The girl thats probably waiting out there thinking the same thing man.Its finding them thats hard.Id love to find a girl thats a s**thot guitarist,loves PANTERA and video games.But they dont come often.....or ever(for me)Not that I dont get with women because I do,but its only something to do with my d**k.Its not like i genuinly like spending time with them.(well most of them)

I always find if you dont know alot of people(women,men whatever) at a party just go up and introduce yourself and be confident.People will automatically warm to you if you appear confident and engaging.Women also LOVE it when a guys notices something new or different about them like new earrings,hair style,bag,dress etc.

 

[maian]

Interesting thread. Being a girl, maybe I can help with some things? Or just have conversation?

I've kind of got one question here, and it's probably a lot easier than I'm making it out to be...

I've known this girl for ten or so years and we're pretty much best friends. We hang out and go to the movies and stuff and it's all real nice. But she has a boyfriend...not that I don't mind or anything. He's a great guy, not the type who'd go out on a Saturday night and get wasted.

The question that I had is whether or not it's a good idea to buy my friend a box of chocolates for Valentine's Day. I mean, not meaning anything behind it, just as friends. I don't want her boyfriend to take it the wrong way.

I'd say go for it, but be a little carefuly about it. Obviously, you don't want to get a giant heart full of lovey chocolates. There's a difference between getting chocolates for a friend, and for a girlfriend. For a friend, just find a simple box of chocolates. Most girls love chocolate (I know I do), and probably won't be thinking you like her or something if you do. Just make sure the box isn't valentine motif'd, or seemingly intended to be given to one's significant other.

I should probably know how to answer this question myself, but how do find how whether you're compatible with someone without making it obvious that you're interested?

It really depends on who the girl is, and what kind of relationship you guys have at the moment. The best thing to do is just casually talk and subtly find out more. I mean, don't be like "I sure do love anime and video games! Do you love anime and video games! It's mostly what I do!" Obviously, that's a turn off to the girl. Don't press any of your interests too hard, or it looks like you're too into it for your own good. Ask what kinds of things to like to do, what moves she likes, etc, and you should be able to steer your way into finding out if her interests match yours enough. You never know until you try.

 

[Aesir]

^ You mean to say movies right? and not moves, cause if you meant to save moves I can just imagine the hilarity to ensue. LOL

 

[Blackadder]

^ You mean to say movies right? and not moves, cause if you meant to save moves I can just imagine the hilarity to ensue. LOL

Best. Typo. Ever.
Guy: What moves do YOU like?
Girl: FALCON... PUUUUUNCH!!!

Anyways, it's nice to have some more girls on his thread.
*Sits back down, and waits for more stories and such*

 

[maian]

Apparently I indeed make a typo, but I'm not ashamed to say so because it is the best typo ever. Come on, guys, Show me yo' moves!

 

[joshisrad]

Come on, Maian. Show me your boobs.

 

[Red Exodus]

It really depends on who the girl is, and what kind of relationship you guys have at the moment. The best thing to do is just casually talk and subtly find out more. I mean, don't be like "I sure do love anime and video games! Do you love anime and video games! It's mostly what I do!" Obviously, that's a turn off to the girl. Don't press any of your interests too hard, or it looks like you're too into it for your own good. Ask what kinds of things to like to do, what moves she likes, etc, and you should be able to steer your way into finding out if her interests match yours enough. You never know until you try.

I gave it some thought and I realize that I'm fishing in the wrong pond. Most girls I'm physically attracted to aren't my type. We watch different shows, listen to different music [let's just say rock is not a big hit here], and general go by the beat of a different drummer.

I guess I'll have to gather up some friends [or get new ones,I don't have very many] and find a place that has people with similar tastes.


Offtopic: I hate my computer, it took me 20 minutes to write this because every 5 words my computer freezes. What a piece of ****.

 

[maian]

Come on, Maian. Show me your boobs.

Show me your moves, first.

Red Exodus: Yeah, that can be a problem. It may be hard to do, but perhaps try lowering your standards a little bit, appearance wise? I'm not saying looks mean nothing, because they certainly do, and I also don't know your circumstances, but it is possible that the physical attraction you have is at a fairly high level. If that's the case, try expanding your horizons and you'll be surprised. Of course if I'm wrong, forgive me.

 

[MASAHIROx]

so she broke up with her boyfriend for me (he was a cheater anyway)

it was fun for a while and than i broke up with her

she got back together with her x(the cheater)....and cut off all communication with me.

and now i realized that i caught feelings for her

W T F

 

[maian]

Well, why did you break up with her? That could be part of the reason.

 

[MASAHIROx]

there was no chemistry...welll there was but it was dry.

i didn't get butterflies in my stomache when i saw her.

maybe she saw that i wasn't that into her or something. she would NEVER tell how she felt either. whenever she was mad she would just get quiet and try to change the subject.

 

[Livvers]

so she broke up with her boyfriend for me (he was a cheater anyway)

it was fun for a while and than i broke up with her

she got back together with her x(the cheater)....and cut off all communication with me.

and now i realized that i caught feelings for her

W T F

Maybe they're not so much feelings, but you thinking more "What if?", and wondering if you made a mistake. It's also natural to still have some feelings for someone you once spent a good amount of time with. And really, if there was no chemistry then, there wouldn't be any now.

Don't worry, Red Exodus. Girls who like video games and anime are out there, it may just take a bit to find them. What Maian said was good advice. And are you still in HS? Because once you get to college, there will be a much greater variety of girls with loads of different interests. And hey, you may not find a girl interested in anime and such, but maybe you'll find a girl who broadens your interests to things you never knew about/done before.

 

[Black Waltz]

most girls i know who play video games and watch anime are ugly...

 

[Shök]

most girls i know who play video games and watch anime are ugly...

Yeah, that's pretty much true. It's rare to find a girl that is hot and like's doing those thing's.

 

[KoreanDJ111]

There's this exotic dancer I know that loves video games, but that's a different story.

Edit: Don't call an exotic dancer a stripper.

 

[Shök]

Well is it rare to find those kind of girl's over there KDJ?

 

[KoreanDJ111]

Yeah, don't bank on it.

Plus, a good number of strippers came from dysfunctional families. Dating a stripper will only cause lots and lots of problems. If you get jealous easily, then forget it.

 

[Jacobcc]

Yeah, that's pretty much true. It's rare to find a girl that is hot and like's doing those thing's.

Yeah it's hard..but it's not impossible. Remember that.

 

[Kio Iranez]

Studies have shown that relationships started because of physical attraction end up bad. It's nice to find someone physically attractive, but don't let it be your basis for finding a partner.

 

[Red Exodus]

Show me your moves, first.

Red Exodus: Yeah, that can be a problem. It may be hard to do, but perhaps try lowering your standards a little bit, appearance wise? I'm not saying looks mean nothing, because they certainly do, and I also don't know your circumstances, but it is possible that the physical attraction you have is at a fairly high level. If that's the case, try expanding your horizons and you'll be surprised. Of course if I'm wrong, forgive me.

I kinda lowered my standards compared to what they were a year ago. I moved on from the girls that every desperate guy is trying to get and from the ones that think they're too good for most guys. I've started to over look hobbies a bit too but only as long as they don't try to stop me from engaging in my current ones. Problem is there are a lot of ghetto/wanna-be girls so finding a decent girl is going to be a little tough.

Don't worry, Red Exodus. Girls who like video games and anime are out there, it may just take a bit to find them. What Maian said was good advice. And are you still in HS? Because once you get to college, there will be a much greater variety of girls with loads of different interests. And hey, you may not find a girl interested in anime and such, but maybe you'll find a girl who broadens your interests to things you never knew about/done before.

Yeah I'm still in HS, it's my final year though, I'm gonna go to a community college next semester and then maybe go to America for college if I need to. I might try to see what hobbies I can get involved in to broaden my perspective but it'll probably take a while.

 

[Livvers]

most girls i know who play video games and watch anime are ugly...

;-;

Haha, no, just kidding. I've come to terms with my ugliness years ago

Also, we know there are no girls on the internet.

 

[Rici]

What are these "girls" you speak of? ?0.o?

 

[Pikmin And Yoshi]

Meh valentines is gonna suck majorly for me. Im real shy and no one really has love for me. I would find out if i was brave enough to ask someone out.

 

[Blackadder]

What are these "girls" you speak of? ?0.o?

Somehow Ricky, you always managed to get the truth ou there.
I had to wikipedia "girl" and I discovered THESE:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Girl

So, apparently, all of us here are nothing short of dirty *******s that pry on the youngins.





On a serious note, Livvers notes that when you get out of High School, and enter College, there's far more "variety" in the women there than in High School. Obviously, this is true; But just how much more variety is there? A little? A lot?

 

[joshisrad]

That's dumb. If she meant a little more variety she would have said that. But she said far more variety.

 

[Blackadder]

This skin sucks. =<

But... just how much? What's it like and -- I didn't word my question very well at all, plus I may as well ask more this time around. Are all the groups and cliques gone? Is everyone still stereotyped with the apparently "large" increase of people? Actually on that, are relationships more likely to go decently in College? I'm sure a lot of you are in or have passed college, so yeah. What's your general impressions of it and relationships?

Not that I've yet decided if I want to go to uni or Acting School instead mind, but still. I'm interested...

 

[Aesir]

Why is it guys try for girls who like video games and anime all the time if they like them too? (that sentence sounded strange lol)

They're not any different from regular girls...>_> they can be just as *****y and ********.

 

[Jam Stunna]

Why is it guys try for girls who like video games and anime all the time if they like them too? (that sentence sounded strange lol)

They're not any different from regular girls...>_> they can be just as *****y and ********.

Because people like other people who share their interests.

 

[Red Exodus]

I don't mind cliques, but the walls between cliques have to go, it's annoying to be outcasted when you aren't with the rest of your clique and it's annoying when people think they're better than you just because they're with their clique and you aren't with yours.

Off topic:

The other day some lame-*** I got in a fight with last year [more on that later] came up to me and was said "What's the matter Stick [he calls me this because I'm thin] can't find Mike [long time friend]?". Now if I was with the rest out people I hang out with he wouldn't have said anything, and if he did no one would find it funny, because he is as corny and nerdy as they come. He's been like that every since I beat him in that fight last year, here's the story about that:

Me and some guys were hanging out and I got up to do something. When I came back [not even 2 minutes had passed] he took my chair and put his feet up in it. Unfortunately for him, he was now backing me, so I pulled the chair from under him and he spilled his lunch [corned beef sandwiches]. Of course he was angry so he got up and threw one of his sandwiches at me. No big deal, he can't throw well, so I laugh it off.
Then his bully shows up, sees his mess on the floor, picks one up and says "Eat up b****" and shoves one in his mouth. Everyone laughs their ***es off and he gets mad and throws more sandwiches at me and walks away.

I'm not a *****, I let him get even and left it at that, so when it took it further I got angry [I have a short temper]. I wasn't gonna let him get off easy, so I picked up a loaf of bread with corned beef on it, caught up to him and slammed it on his neck/head/shoulder. Corned beef splatted everywhere and everyone busted out laughing even more. Nerdy boy gets mad and comes back trying to get physical and Mike comes in and slams Nerdy boy into a wall while I continued laughing. After that we got sent to the vice Principal for fighting and we got flogged [lame, old dude hitting me on my *** with a bamboo stick is not cool, they should really abolish that **** here].

Nerdy boy hasn't lived it down and I have been praised more than enough. At least once a week someone reminds me of that fight, so everyone knows me as the guy that beat a kid with a corned beef sandwich and everyone knows Nerdy boy as the kid that got beat with a corned beef sandwich.

 

[Livvers]

This skin sucks. =<

But... just how much? What's it like and -- I didn't word my question very well at all, plus I may as well ask more this time around. Are all the groups and cliques gone? Is everyone still stereotyped with the apparently "large" increase of people? Actually on that, are relationships more likely to go decently in College? I'm sure a lot of you are in or have passed college, so yeah. What's your general impressions of it and relationships?

Not that I've yet decided if I want to go to uni or Acting School instead mind, but still. I'm interested...

I speak only vaguely because my friends are the ones who went to college, not me. A lot of it depends on where you go. Two of my friends went to a Christian college, which was like one big happy bubble. You don't really experience that at other colleges. Art college would be different than a school that focuses on lawyers or whatever. It all just depends on where you go, and what kind of school you go to. Haha, hopefully somewhere here who actually went to college can describe things better than me.

Aesir: C'mon, anyone wants someone who has the same interests as them =) I'm actually much happier in my current relationship than my last, and it's because the guy I'm with now like games, anime, and internet jokes as much as I do. I swore never to date a guy not interested in games ever again because of him(though I doubt I'll ever date again, anyways). Haha. The whole nerd girl "lust" or whatever seems more prominent here because it's a gaming forum, and those types of girls are kinda rare.

 

[Tom]

but that doesn't mean they aren't still girls, and aren't fully capable of waking up one day and realizing that they have "grown apart" from you, a change to which you are completely oblivious (for good reason, because its not true.)

basically, you should just become a cat, like i have. there are so many advantages

you get to sleep all the time, or stay up as long as you want for as long as you want

you eat fish, everyone loves fish even if you dont like how it tastes

you make friends with everyone

you can bite people and they feel bad about themselves, not angry at you

the only downside is that its vry hrd to type somthimess