"Nice guys" who give the woman everything she wants and let her take the lead are NOT the guys that spark that attraction that keeps a woman interested.
In my experience, this is totally true. Well, the "nice guy" part is true, at least. I'm not so sure about the letting her take the lead part.
It's pretty much widely known that "nice guys" don't get the girls. A guy can't be nice all the time and expect to be taken seriously.
I'm not saying a guy should be mean or overbearing, but he should be firm on issues that are important to him.
For a long time I was that "nice guy". Girls would show an initial interest in me, when we first saw each other. I always lost that connection, though, after a day or two, and I couldn't figure out why. I thought there was something wrong with me.
Well, it turned out there was. I was just too nice. I learned that it is not impressive to a girl when you let other people walk all over you. I was the kind of guy who would lend you a pen and not insist on getting it back, or who would always give you a stick of gum if you asked.
I still let other people insult me with impunity, sometimes. I still lend pens without expecting it back, sometimes. I think I've learned when to pick my fights.
When I feel insulted, I'll let the other person know. Luckily, I don't feel insulted very easily. You can usually say my hair is stupid or I did a horrible class presentation and I'll just smile. But you won't get the satisfaction of insulting me, because you won't hurt my feelings or embarrass me.
If you "lose" the pen I lent you, don't expect me to lend you another one. If you ask for a piece of gum and I only have a couple left, or you're constantly bumming gum off of me, you won't get it. But I'll always give you the stick of gum or lend you the pen the first time.
But if you scream at me, don't expect me to stand there listening to you. I'll walk away. If you steal something from me that matters to me, you will not here the end of it until I get it back.
I've tried to paint a picture here of a person who is not confrontational, who never yells, who is never physical, who is never controlling, and who will stand up if you need to sit down in a chair, yet who isn't a complete "nice guy".
This guy, by the way, gets all the girls (well, the kinds of girls he's interested in, anyway).
Not being a pushover doesn't mean you have to be pushy. I wish more people realized that.
I mean, look at Jesus. The Bible shows how he consistently "turned the other cheek". But it also says He was admired by everyone who knew him. He would easily be the most popular guy in school. And when it really mattered, He could get extremely angry. For example, when people were selling stuff in the temple, He drove them out with a whip.
Remember, guys, the point of your personality is not to attract girls. Your personality is who you are. Being truly kind and caring is, at least to me, more important than sex. But you can definitely have both. I mean, when you think about, we're all just acting like animals, like monkeys with clothes. To be human is to not be driven by your primal instincts, but by an image of the kind of person you want to be.
Heh, that was long.