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Girls/Guys/Relationships

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Mic_128

Wake up...
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I have a girlfriend and we always ask ourselves what we want to do and we ususally get all giggly and awkward because neither of us really minds what we do as long as we're together.


Everybody: 3...2...1...

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW <3
 

Rici

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Women aren't objects


To all the guys in this topic who think they know women... please stop. you are hurting the world and any normal guys chance of ever getting laid again.(that includes me)
This man is the only one who has said something useful in this thread.
 

Blackadder

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^^^
I second that.

There was a topic very like this recently, (it may be the one Eor was talking about even) which involved about 80 % of the people there sprouting some crap about "Being the man" and "Knowing that all women want an alpha male". Well, is tarted at that, and ended along the basic lines of "Women need a man to live, fend for themselves, and **** them".

(I think Joshisrad and DYLAN_TNGA were pretty large offenders to thhose views) Ew.
 

M3D

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I think it's a little silly to say "Women want this or that" because not all women are the same. In fact, women from different cultures want entirely different things in their men. Some women are looking for someone to be a protector, leader, etc... others are just looking for someone comfortable and kind. I know some women that are incredibly independent and have dominant, alpha personalities and the only men I see them dating are the ones that let them run the show.

In the end, culture, upbringing and experiences shape what any person, man or woman, wants from a relationship. There is no catch-all answer to the question of what women want. If you are a mature person and you are interested in dating someone, then you should be asking yourself "What does this individual woman/man want, and does it line up with what I'm looking for in a relationship?" If you aren't looking for similar things and you can't meet each other's expectations, then the relationship is ultimately doomed anyway.

For the record, I'm 25 years old and happily married. So I think I have a leg-up on the teenagers and drunk college students when it comes to giving relationship advice.
 

Vijin

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Rather pathetic isn't it? Hopefully Americans, heck, the world, will wake up to the fact that evolution played no part in human development. Remember my friends, no type of life existed at one point in time.
Scientists bring facts to the table. You guys can't bring any facts... just a bunch of stuff that you can't prove.

Eor said:
See this is why we should burn you at the stake
Why, because he doesn't share the same beliefs as you? That's stupid.
I'm glad I'm not like you.
 

Livvers

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And this guy you're dating also has that ability to spark that attraction you have for him, right? You don't just like him because he's a nice guy or because he's funny. You like him because of what he makes you feel. Simply being nice or funny doesn't do that in itself.

I'm not saying a woman doesn't like a man because he's nice. What I'm referring to when I say a "Nice guy" is a guy who has to buy her attention. Someone who thinks taking a girl out on a date and spending loads of money on her in order to win her is not what a woman finds attractive. A "Nice guy" let's her make all the decisions because it's what he thinks she wants. "If I'm nice enough to her, she'll like me! Letting her make the decisions will show her how considerate I am!" But that's not the way a woman sees it. Spending a **** load of money on some girl you've met just shows her that you're not confident that she'll like you because of you, so you use money instead. Which doesn't work.
Or a guy who lets the woman make all the decisions. A woman wants her man to lead, so she can follow. Well what happens when you get a guy who tries tog et her to take the lead? You have two people not leading.
Be in control, not controlling.
To your second part, I think most people already said that that doesn't make you an actual nice guy, and that falling over yourself to please someone isn't attractive. There's being nice, and there's being a tool for someone.

To the first part, yeah, I'm attracted to him. I wouldn't be if he wasn't funny or nice, so that is part of the attraction. Nobody here said all you need to be is funny and nice and a girl will like you. Hell, earlier in this thread I stated that there's more than just a great personality when it comes to being attracted to someone. But anyways, him being nice makes me feel(to use your word)great. Him being funny makes me also feel great when I laugh. Whenever he tells me a joke or something funny he did at work, I often times am amazed at how much I love him(among other things that have to do with attraction). Being nice and funny is detrimental for me to have an attraction to someone. Yeah, there's more to it than just that, but again, no one said that those two things alone will make you attractive to a girl.

To the one guy about the poems: If you aren't dating the girl, then she will be weirded out. It's showing way too much interest and attention without even personally knowing her. Also, unless you are great at writing poems, then they have an even worse chance at being taken well. As KDJ said, it's pretty cliche. And a lot of lovey poems are lulz-worthy(I haven't read yours, so don't take offense to this. And any poems I've ever written about anything have been horrible).

Haha, and it's ok xxLinkGodxx. I take no offense.
 

KAFOR

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Scientists bring facts to the table. You guys can't bring any facts... just a bunch of stuff that you can't prove.
Scientists bring facts you say? What type of actual facts lie behind evolution. Why have we stopped "evolving"?

If you haven't already discovered, all human beings come from other human beings. We keep reproducing from generation to generation. We had to originate from somewhere, wouldn't you agree? God created the first couple, which then they proceeded to reproduced into more generations. How did scientists prove the "Big Bang Theory" anyway? All of a sudden, out of nowhere, something blew up and formed the Earth? Get real people! Check your facts.
 

Livvers

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Scientists bring facts you say? What type of actual facts lie behind evolution. Why have we stopped "evolving"?

If you haven't already discovered, all human beings come from other human beings. We keep reproducing from generation to generation. We had to originate from somewhere, wouldn't you agree? God created the first couple, which then they proceeded to reproduced into more generations. How did scientists prove the "Big Bang Theory" anyway? All of a sudden, out of nowhere, something blew up and formed the Earth? Get real people! Check your facts.
Not to turn this into a religious debate...but I'm curious what you think about dinosaurs. And why are there no human fossils from that time period?

And evolution takes millions of years. It's kinda hard for us to track our own progress when reading and writing has been a basic thing for everyone only recently. Not to mention our mentality and actually caring about where we came from other than the theory of creation is slowly progressing. Also, evolution is a theory. Big Bang is a theory. All of it are theories.

On top of that, don't take the bible as 100% fact. There's a good chance that it's metaphorical stories to explain how the world came to be. We all know that the story of Noah's Arc can't be completely true, because only two of each species would mean inbreds(and inbreds die or are mutated/********).

Sorry for going off topic, everyone.
 

Rici

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Get real people! Check your facts.
I'm seriously doubting if this was sarcasm or not, because this one cracked me up.

And M3D just brought the average IQ of this thread up +20.
 

Vijin

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All of a sudden, out of nowhere, something blew up and formed the Earth? Get real people! Check your facts.
Isn't that what you're saying about humans?
God created man. Poof, man now exists. That's pretty much what you're saying.

Scientists who study astronomy, biology, etc. know a lot more than you do. They have evidence and continue conducting experiments, etc. as opposed to simply saying "God" for every question they come across.. (you can't prove that a God even exists, let alone that he created Earth, man, or whatever)
 

Jammer

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"Nice guys" who give the woman everything she wants and let her take the lead are NOT the guys that spark that attraction that keeps a woman interested.
In my experience, this is totally true. Well, the "nice guy" part is true, at least. I'm not so sure about the letting her take the lead part.

It's pretty much widely known that "nice guys" don't get the girls. A guy can't be nice all the time and expect to be taken seriously.

I'm not saying a guy should be mean or overbearing, but he should be firm on issues that are important to him.

For a long time I was that "nice guy". Girls would show an initial interest in me, when we first saw each other. I always lost that connection, though, after a day or two, and I couldn't figure out why. I thought there was something wrong with me.

Well, it turned out there was. I was just too nice. I learned that it is not impressive to a girl when you let other people walk all over you. I was the kind of guy who would lend you a pen and not insist on getting it back, or who would always give you a stick of gum if you asked.

I still let other people insult me with impunity, sometimes. I still lend pens without expecting it back, sometimes. I think I've learned when to pick my fights.

When I feel insulted, I'll let the other person know. Luckily, I don't feel insulted very easily. You can usually say my hair is stupid or I did a horrible class presentation and I'll just smile. But you won't get the satisfaction of insulting me, because you won't hurt my feelings or embarrass me.

If you "lose" the pen I lent you, don't expect me to lend you another one. If you ask for a piece of gum and I only have a couple left, or you're constantly bumming gum off of me, you won't get it. But I'll always give you the stick of gum or lend you the pen the first time.

But if you scream at me, don't expect me to stand there listening to you. I'll walk away. If you steal something from me that matters to me, you will not here the end of it until I get it back.

I've tried to paint a picture here of a person who is not confrontational, who never yells, who is never physical, who is never controlling, and who will stand up if you need to sit down in a chair, yet who isn't a complete "nice guy".

This guy, by the way, gets all the girls (well, the kinds of girls he's interested in, anyway).

Not being a pushover doesn't mean you have to be pushy. I wish more people realized that.

I mean, look at Jesus. The Bible shows how he consistently "turned the other cheek". But it also says He was admired by everyone who knew him. He would easily be the most popular guy in school. And when it really mattered, He could get extremely angry. For example, when people were selling stuff in the temple, He drove them out with a whip.

Remember, guys, the point of your personality is not to attract girls. Your personality is who you are. Being truly kind and caring is, at least to me, more important than sex. But you can definitely have both. I mean, when you think about, we're all just acting like animals, like monkeys with clothes. To be human is to not be driven by your primal instincts, but by an image of the kind of person you want to be.

Heh, that was long.
 

Endless Nightmares

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There's a difference between being a nice guy and being a pushover who never speaks up for himself.

I think of a "nice guy" as someone who is polite and treats the woman with respect, not a piece of meat. There are tons of nice guys who get the girls. Pushovers are the ones who let people walk all over them and lose the ladies' attention.
 

KevinM

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Just curious the relationship i'm currently in is with the girl being 15 going on 16 and me being 17 going on 18 in two months

For the more intelligent mature people in this thread how is that an ok age difference. I've only had one person comment that it seemed to old so i just wanted opinions.
 

Jammer

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I'd personally say it has more to do with maturity than age. Two difference isn't bad at all, though. As long as you guys have similar maturity levels, it should be all good. But you should know that sometimes even that difference is just too much. My sister is 15 and I'm 17; I don't think I would date someone with her maturity level, and my sister is quite mature.

What I'm saying is that this one isn't black and white--it depends on your actual situation.

I hope I'm intelligent and mature enough to answer your question.
 

Xanthyr

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I made a post earlier (around page 7 I think?) regarding such issues, if you want you can read that.

I personally don't see a problem, but make sure her parents are okay with it and make sure you're in the relationship for the same reasons.

Good luck with that.
 

Vijin

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Just curious the relationship i'm currently in is with the girl being 15 going on 16 and me being 17 going on 18 in two months

For the more intelligent mature people in this thread how is that an ok age difference. I've only had one person comment that it seemed to old so i just wanted opinions.
2 years isn't that big of a gap at all. But the way most people might see it is at your current age.
Like, for instance, take a 4 year age difference. a 20 year old dating a 16 year old would be considered weird for a lot of people... but take that same 4 year gap. a 30 year old man dating a26 year old woman. That 4 year gap doesn't seem so big anymore.

Honestly, I think you're in the OKAY. Just be aware that it could be potential jail bait. :p
 

Livvers

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Just curious the relationship i'm currently in is with the girl being 15 going on 16 and me being 17 going on 18 in two months

For the more intelligent mature people in this thread how is that an ok age difference. I've only had one person comment that it seemed to old so i just wanted opinions.
I shall refer you to this: http://www.xkcd.com/314/

Haha, all joking aside, I think it's fine. 1-2 years isn't that big of a deal as long as you're both mature. Make sure her parents are cool with it, though, because if not, they could be ***** and try to call statutory ****(though some states allow 17 and 18 year olds).

As Vijin said, the older you get, the less difference age makes, because then both parties are sexually mature and know what decisions to make(or they should).
 

AltF4

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Did this turn into a pool room evolution debate? Those don't end well...

As for women: They want you to lie to them. No matter how much they say "I want you to tell me the truth. Does this dress make me look fat?" The answer is always no. Unfortunately some dresses just make you look fat... even when you're not fat. But never say so. Instead try to point out some other (likely non-existent) reason to not wear the dress that does not indicate the woman in question to appear fat.
 

Azua

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If I looked bad in something and someone let me go out in public in it, I'd be hella pissed.

I've got a pretty nice figure, but some things just make my love handles look like pure awfulness.
Not everyone looks great in everything.

I'm not gonna get upset if I look bad in something, that probably means I should lay off the taco bell I eat like four times a day.



That's better than being embarassed after you realize how horrible you look in something.
Hence why I never wear yellow.
 

Miharu

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Did this turn into a pool room evolution debate? Those don't end well...

As for women: They want you to lie to them. No matter how much they say "I want you to tell me the truth. Does this dress make me look fat?" The answer is always no. Unfortunately some dresses just make you look fat... even when you're not fat. But never say so. Instead try to point out some other (likely non-existent) reason to not wear the dress that does not indicate the woman in question to appear fat.
Then no women are right for me; if you look fat/ugly or otherwise unappealing in a certain outfit, I will tell it to your face. There's really not too much to be gained by trying to lie about it.
 

Livvers

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If you have a pear shaped body, you should not wear pear colored clothing.
Hahaha.

Yeah, if I look bad in something, I wanna know. I have 100% honesty when it comes to how I think a friend(or boyfriend)looks, and I want honesty in return. And sugar coating it just pisses me off. Just flat out tell me. And if you point out what's wrong, then I'll probably notice, too, and agree.
 

KoreanDJ111

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*Girl tries on jeans*

Girl - "Does this look fat on me?"

Me - "Do you want me to lie? ;) "

Anyways,
Kevin, like what others say, maturity is more important than age.

Age is just a number. I've met a lot of 20-40 year olds acting like complete children, and they expect just because of age, they expect to be "superior" in some magical way.

But in this context...

People at around 15-16 goes through a huge maturing process, and some people can't handle girls at that age.
Others are able to handle it.

But it all revolves around context.

I have no idea who asked who first. How long you guys been dating. How often you guys see each other. Etc.

If you are really doubting this relationship, then cancel it.

You need to think for yourself. Especially in crucial moments.

If you have any doubt that this isn't the right thing to do, then stop it, and move on.

Why do you want to be with a girl walking on egg shells?

Worst case scenario, you can go to jail for this.

Tell me, is it really worth it?

If you really want to stay, then talk to her parents. Make sure it's legal with parental consensus...

Some girls just won't snitch out and tell others about the age, and it won't be any big deal to them.

But seriously, try to find some girls around your age. Or older.

It will prevent that particular drama from happening in the first place.

If you are going to stay in the relationship, take responsibility where responsibility is due.
 

GoldShadow

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You guys are making this all way too complicated.

You just need a copy of my E-Book, "I am Redcell (And So Can You!)"



Dominance in the tribe. Obviously, the strongest guy is dominant. But then, all women ask themselves, why is Vegeta more attractive to me than Nappa, when Nappa was more muscular? Aside from lacking belief in his muscles, Nappa was subservient to Vegeta socially. He took orders from him. In this same way, you must not take orders from others. You must not take any form of **** from others.

So, now you know. Even though I have given away all of my secrets for free, I trust you will be so moved you will buy my E-Book anyways. It contains my most intimate thoguhts on bodybuilding, step-by-step guides on how to converse with women so that they know you are better than them, and most importantly, ways of conversing with women so that they do not talk back.
Your DBZ references have moved me oh great redcell!

Is your E-book available in E-hardcover?
 

KevinM

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@KDJ

You're advice is solid my friend, but we've been dating for 4 months now, and I definitely feel a great thing coming from the relationship. Everyone who posted about maturity thanks for that, sometimes because of societies outlook on age differences i forget to look at the real important things to focus on in relationships which includes just that.

I wasn't doubting the relationship Dan, mainly cause like i've been in relationships before, and this one just idk it feels different, but again your advice is greatly appreciated, so thanks a bundle guys.
 

Blackadder

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@KDJ

You're advice is solid my friend, but we've been dating for 4 months now, and I definitely feel a great thing coming from the relationship. Everyone who posted about maturity thanks for that, sometimes because of societies outlook on age differences i forget to look at the real important things to focus on in relationships which includes just that.

I wasn't doubting the relationship Dan, mainly cause like i've been in relationships before, and this one just idk it feels different, but again your advice is greatly appreciated, so thanks a bundle guys.
4 months? Well, you've held onto it for longer that most can!
This isn't really an advice post, but good lukc with it all man. :)
 

Blackadder

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dont argue about religions guys... differences in religion cause enough problems as it is... let SWF be free of it...

btw, i think KDJ has at least this point: guys must be confident... true?
Interesting point that one.
The last thread like this had people saying you had to be cocky, nasty, and "The Alpha Male".

I wouldn't know really, but I wouldn't say a dief "no" to confidence. I guess you need it to a certain degree, and you WILL need at least a viel of confidence in situations every so often, but I wouldn't say it's the main thing compared to personality.
 

Proud_Smash_N00b

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Advice for guys: Just wait for a girl who likes you. Don't try to look for one you like especially if you dont know if they like you. It will bite you in the @$$.

Its just my opinion and I was just rejected so I feel like s*** now.
 

Rici

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Well, that isn't a great advice either. I think that you should definitely look around if you want, but the problem that most guys have is that they are expecting way too much if they get contact with a girl.

So, you should look around, but you should not expect a girl to like you the very first second she sees you. Just interact with her, go with the flow and it may grow to something special.

Love it is a tricky thing. You can't really force it, it may or may not happen.
 

Azua

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Here goes.

Having been on either end of the relationship spectrum, I would have to say I fully enjoy an equal or 'close-to-equal' relationship with a man or woman.

A lot of you no doubt have already assumed this, but I dislike being controlled.
I also dislike being in full control of something; it's nice at first, but it eventually gets old and I end up treating the person like a toy.

I get bored. Easily.

If you're going to do everything that I want you to do, I'm gonna start throwing some ridiculous **** in there for the sole purpose of my entertainment.


So yeah, in a way I can see the way you see.

However, to assume that 99% of women or even just, say, a hefty portion of women think that way is unfathomable.

Switch that around a second.
That means 99% of men like to be in control of the relationship at all times.
Does that sound like fun to you?

Sure as **** doesn't to me.
That just sounds like work to me.


I'm not what you consider normal. I understand that.
I probably fit nowhere in your little charts and diagrams or whateverthehell. [Heh, PIE! chart]

Some days I feel like wearing the pants in a relationship.
Other days I'm gonna curl up in their lap and purr like a kitten.


I love to take care of people and I love it when they return the favor.
Perhaps I'm a sap.


In men or women, I like someone that I can trust, someone that is there for me when I need them, but also has enough sense to just let me be who I am.
And you can bet your *** I'll do the same for them.


I'm a very loyal girlfriend.
If you are treating me the way you should be treating me, I won't so much as look at another person the way I look at you.

However, if you try to make all of my decisions for me, [GREG] I'll likely end up developing an emotional affair with someone who treats me worthwhile.

I cannot count how many relationships I've ended because of that.

I have no idea where you guys are getting this from, but we want to have the space to do our own thing and make our own decisions.
I can't stand someone trying to be dominant with me.

For the love of God or Gods no God or whatever the **** you guys are arguing about now, stop.

I am a woman, I've dated women, we don't like it.



I just ended a relationship where I was absolutely mad about this man.
You wanna know why?
We could only do things on -his- schedule, and it got old.

I'm sure to you Proomers this doesn't really hold much weight, but a few SWFers know how nuts I was about him.



As for the sexual part of a relationship, I don't even understand myself fully, so there's no way I'm giving a text wall on that.




I apologize in advance if I went over something that's already been elaborated.
 

Blackadder

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^^^
I find it utterly ironic that everyone hear sprouts crap about what they "know" when it seems the few people that have a clue hear are very nice, understanding, or, in this case, a woman.

I think what you were saying has been eleborated on, though not nearly as coherently as that. Then again, you mention not being "Normal" or something, so that may be a factor, but I'd say most women have similar tastes and ideas for what they want in a relationship.

(Incidently, it's rather brave to say you've dated other females, or even mention the sexual sie to things, however brief, so kudos)

Anyways, after reading that, I think I can say most of SWF (Including me, likely) has NO idea what they're talking about.

...
DOUBLE XL! DOUBLE XL!
 

Jammer

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Did this turn into a pool room evolution debate? Those don't end well...

As for women: They want you to lie to them. No matter how much they say "I want you to tell me the truth. Does this dress make me look fat?" The answer is always no. Unfortunately some dresses just make you look fat... even when you're not fat. But never say so. Instead try to point out some other (likely non-existent) reason to not wear the dress that does not indicate the woman in question to appear fat.
I disagree with this. There's a time to lie and a time to tell the truth. If my girlfriend went out shopping for a dress, and is very excited about it, and shows it to me, and she looks fat in it, I will definitely not tell her. If she tells me to tell the truth, I will tell her "Well, I guess I don't care for it that much, but I don't really know much about women's fashion." Most girls can handle it. If they decided themselves that they like the dress, my opinion won't change that. If they don't like it already, then they have an excuse to stop wearing it. But not always--I find that you can really make a girl mad by saying something like that.

When I'm in the mall and my girlfriend is just trying on clothes and I'm supposed to give my opinion, I just give my honest reaction. If it makes her look fat, I'll say something like, "It seems a little tight around your hips." If she specifically asks if it makes her look fat, and it does, I'll tell her. I mean, she already knows it, right? And if it doesn't make her look fat, I'll say, very enthusiastically, "Of course it doesn't!" She's looking for reassurance.

Body image is probably the touchiest things to girls. I mean, it's not like I'm an expert, but I've seen, time and again, that out of every aspect of themselves, their body is the one most prone make them emotionally vulnerable or upset.

I certainly don't have the answers on this one. Normally, I can get along with girls great all the time. But when one asks me if a dress makes her look fat--well, sometimes I'm too honest, and sometimes I'm not open enough. It's really hard.
 

AltF4

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My girlfriend and I have been together for nearly 6 years. (Still in school... just to answer the question you were about to ask)

I really hate to sound cliche, but we're best friends. We do stuff that normal couples do, like dinners, movies, etc... We do girly things sometimes: shopping... more shopping... And we do nerdy things sometimes: Smash, electronics stores, other video games (she's in love with GH3 right now)

I would say that an important aspect to have in a relationship is general compatibility. When you speak with your other, do you choose your words so as to not offend / insult / creep them out? If so, then you're either just starting out, or not very compatible. It's important to be yourself, be your complete self.

If it doesn't work out, then it didn't work out. But you don't want to pretend to be someone you're not just because you're afraid of rejection.
 

Azua

Scourge Cheerleader
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Actually I just thought of a wonderful analogy.

Think of it as a canoe or something.

If one of you is rowing too fast, you're just gonna spin in circles.
And then probably hit a tree and sink.
That water's probably effing cold too.

Oars are expensive, too, don't lose them.
 

Jammer

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I loathe metaphors.

They're like hot tea on a boiling summer's day. So close to what you want, but not at all helpful.

As you can see, I adore similes.
 
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