Girls/Guys/Relationships

[pikachun00b7]

Catholics are not supposed to have premarital sex. Just verifying.

Well, not many Catholics are that religious. lol

On the 18 year old+14 year old: I think it is a bit too pedo-ish( in western views). Of course is you live in a place where it is socially acceptable and LEGAL, I don't think there is anything wrong. But ewwww....

 

[CHAOSDRAGON88]

The relationship between "the MAN" and "the little girl" is as disturbing as it sounds (NO FLAME INTENDED),what the hell is wrong with you. The thing with the heterosexual male sexual identity is that we are in control(Errections) and are naturally attracted to older women. Did you know that you are a representative of a male father figure (especially if hers was a deadbeat or bad one) and that mostly occurs due to your age? Did you have a healthy dating life at her age and if not you are compensating with her? Please elaborate, i dont mean to be to harsh but it really is an unhealthy relationship especially on her end and if you break up with her be specific about why you did it because you might unknowingly send her the wrong message. Your intelligence might dwarf hers and considering her age it will sound like you manipulated her, this is what makes it wrong.

 

[MattDel]

Also, if you live in the States, it's illegal. Probably in other places, too.

isnt it 18? both people have to be 18 or something?

 

[Crimson King]

isnt it 18? both people have to be 18 or something?

Various from state to state. Most states have exemptions, but some have none.

 

[Percon]

All right, I have a question: Is it obsenely wrong for a younger guy to go out with an older girl?

I'm late to the question, but no. Although remember, Shakespeare has said numerous time to never marry an older woman.

I like this thread. Flame-free, thoughtful discussion.

Now, I don't have too much experience when it comes to girls. This is because A) I quote Shakespeare and B) I sit here, posting on Smashboards right now when 75% of my school is at the school dance right now.

But I think if two people feel for each other, it can transcend age and religious barriers. So if you're wondering if you're relationship is "acceptable", just think to yourself "Am I (or is the other person) bothered by these barriers?" If the answer is no, then ignore the societal norms.

 

[estion11]

Reading over this thread it seems like many of you are making excuses for your lack of boy/girlfriends when in reality its just because your shy or nervous or the girls your interested in/ most girls some cases (sorry about being harsh) are way out of your league. Second whats this business with marriage as a deciding factor for things?! Are many of you guys old enough to get married or even to be thinking about marriage!? You guys are worried about what religion you are, but this shouldn't even be brought up in a relationship in the first place unless its a serious long term relationship which I dont believe you should be having until your most of your way through college (have fun for a while jesus). Also as for the topic of high school relationships being purely lustful.... soooo what? I'm a senior in high school and I think about all relationships ive had were based on sexual desires and what not.... a guys got needs right? As for those who down talk relationships because they are not based on love i think for the most part your just jealous and spiteful. As for relationships with younger girls, I've gone out with a few girls a grade below me and i dont think im going to hell for it.

 

[Jammer]

CHAOSDRAGON did an excellent job of explaining why the 14/18 thing is a bad idea. I say that partly because he or she said much of what I said before.

Also, there's my second smiley ever.

But I think if two people feel for each other, it can transcend age and religious barriers. So if you're wondering if you're relationship is "acceptable", just think to yourself "Am I (or is the other person) bothered by these barriers?" If the answer is no, then ignore the societal norms.

While that sounds good, I disagree.

You have to make a conscious effort not to hurt the other person in a relationship. An extreme example would be a 30-year-old guy having sex with a 15-year-old girl (or the genders could be switched--it doesn't matter). While the 15-year-old might "love" the 30-year-old, and the 30-year-old loves the 15-year-old, we all know that there is a major problem with this relationship. The 15-year-old is going to be very, very hurt, emotionally and sexually.

That is an extreme example that probably doesn't apply to what Percon was thinking about when he or she wrote their post. But you can see that it's a slippery slope. In general, the younger partner in the relationship may not know what's best for them. They may desire something that will ultimately severely hurt them.

 

[Crimson King]

Reading over this thread it seems like many of you are making excuses for your lack of boy/girlfriends when in reality its just because your shy or nervous or the girls your interested in/ most girls some cases (sorry about being harsh) are way out of your league.

So what? If they like a girl that's out of their league, and they win her over, they will be happy for a long time.

Second whats this business with marriage as a deciding factor for things?! Are many of you guys old enough to get married or even to be thinking about marriage!? You guys are worried about what religion you are, but this shouldn't even be brought up in a relationship in the first place unless its a serious long term relationship which I dont believe you should be having until your most of your way through college (have fun for a while jesus).

I'm twenty and I've thought about it. I'm not afraid of any type of commitment and I rather have one person that truly cares about me than several that think I care about them.

Also as for the topic of high school relationships being purely lustful.... soooo what? I'm a senior in high school and I think about all relationships ive had were based on sexual desires and what not.... a guys got needs right?

This is where you make me sick. They are still human beings and you seem to not care about that aspect at all. Go figure.

As for those who down talk relationships because they are not based on love i think for the most part your just jealous and spiteful. As for relationships with younger girls, I've gone out with a few girls a grade below me and i dont think im going to hell for it.

Loving relationships are about finding either the person or the type of person to spend your life with. You seem to see it as more of an outing more than anything that would involve caring about the girl. You really come off as a misogynist here.

 

[MattDel]

bravo crimsonking... you beat me to the punch there...

 

[Percon]

While that sounds good, I disagree.

You have to make a conscious effort not to hurt the other person in a relationship. An extreme example would be a 30-year-old guy having sex with a 15-year-old girl (or the genders could be switched--it doesn't matter). While the 15-year-old might "love" the 30-year-old, and the 30-year-old loves the 15-year-old, we all know that there is a major problem with this relationship. The 15-year-old is going to be very, very hurt, emotionally and sexually.

That is an extreme example that probably doesn't apply to what Percon was thinking about when he or she wrote their post. But you can see that it's a slippery slope. In general, the younger partner in the relationship may not know what's best for them. They may desire something that will ultimately severely hurt them.

Well, you're right, but that's an EXTREME. Though I know some couples that are fifteen years apart and that love each other (my grandparents, for example). Stuff as extreme as that is becoming less frequent, though, and less of an issue.

I agree with the younger person not knowing what's best for them. >_>

 

[Tom]

I've been dating the same girl for over three years now. It started out as a childish crush that was returned, and as we both matured we became best friends. She started taking Taekwondo classes from my family's school, so we saw each other twice a week. Almost immediately, we realized that not only did she go to school close by (I went to an all guys prep school, she a sister school a mile away), but she lived in my same community. Talk about face-time.

So for my 10-12th grade and her 9-11th grade years (I started schooling a year early), we saw each other almost every day, whether it was for five minutes or for seven hours. I was told by a lot of people that too much time spent together would kill our relationship, but we stayed close the whole time. We matured mentally together, sharing books to read and movies to watch, while competing in martial arts and the like.

Now after a unique set of circumstances, we are in a long distance relationship. To make a long story short, I was not 18 yet and my parents' views of "what is best for [me]" differed extremely from mine. They are both doctors, and when I expressed my interest in attending medical school, my parents (divorced) agreed on the first thing in almost four years -- that I was not mature enough to make a 3.7ish in college (glided through high school playing games.) So they took me from the private uni I got accepted to in Memphis and moved be down to Bumble****, Georgia, where my father could keep tabs on me.

Now that my girlfriend is applying early admission to Yale, and regular to Harvard, Boston College, Tufts, etc. (), it seems that following her to the beast coast won't be as easy as we expected, as I don't have the blessing of either parent, or the money. So I would have to get accepted up North (not the main problem), and then take out all the loans. *sigh* My brother is a struggling actor in NY, so I could find a school there and live with him to cut down on expenses, but its all just one incredibly messed-up situation.

The change from a close-knit relationship to so long-distance hasn't been too hard on her (because she is a senior in highschool, peak of social activity for her), but being in the middle of nowhere hasn't helped me a bit. Most people I have met aren't too intellectual, and the closest smasher (dogysamich, good dude) is an hour away. So the long distance thing sucks, and I'm worried it might be here to stay for a year or so...

I saw this topic and I couldn't resist glurbing. Is that a word? Its what I feel like I just did.

 

[Jammer]

Sometimes it's good to glurb, Tom.

I've only had one long distance relationship. I was going out with a girl two weeks before she moved away. Our relationship died less than a week after she moved. It wasn't really a major thing to me. So I guess I don't know what to say.

I hope everything works out with college and that you are able to do what you want to accomplish in life.

 

[BigRick]

I agree with estion11, you can't really talk down on High school relationships because when you're a teenager you rarely do the right decisions and you simply want to just have fun... if you can easily take advantage of girls because of social status and other stuff you will probably do it.

The main issue here I think is the mindset of the girls when they hit their teens... I remember in my high school there were girls that had many sexual partners and others that never slept with any1 even when pressured/manipulated etc. and most of them ''good girls'' were smart enough to avoid these situations. Nobody touched the ugly girls unless they were totally irresponsible sexually but some of the ''good girls'' I'm talking about were really cute and spent alot of time with a boyfriend.

 

[Jammer]

I agree with estion11, you can't really talk down on High school relationships because when you're a teenager you rarely do the right decisions and you simply want to just have fun... if you can easily take advantage of girls because of social status and other stuff you will probably do it.

Well, that is of course not always true. I remember I thought I was hot stuff in my first couple years of high school, but then someone called me a "player", and I realized they were serious. It really made me feel bad. I thought that hooking up (not having sex though--I'm still a virgin, thankfully) with a girl every week was cool. When I realized that I was hurting a lot of them, because they really thought I had strong feelings for them, I stopped myself. I think that was one of the low points in my life, but I rebounded. It was pretty hard to lose my reputation, but I think I've changed quite a bit.

While not every guy has the option to be "a player", the ones that could break girls' hearts if they wanted to often don't. It takes effort to resist the temptation, but many guys do it.

The same goes for girls. Some girls go around breaking guys' hearts, but definitely not all of them. While teenagers are prone to riding their whims and emotions, it's not a universal thing.

But of course I'm not really disagreeing with you, BigRick, because you by no means said that all high schoolers are out to get laid; I guess I'm just making it clear that some people are considerate of others' feelings, even high schoolers.

 

[estion11]

So what? If they like a girl that's out of their league, and they win her over, they will be happy for a long time.




I'm twenty and I've thought about it. I'm not afraid of any type of commitment and I rather have one person that truly cares about me than several that think I care about them.



This is where you make me sick. They are still human beings and you seem to not care about that aspect at all. Go figure.



Loving relationships are about finding either the person or the type of person to spend your life with. You seem to see it as more of an outing more than anything that would involve caring about the girl. You really come off as a misogynist here.

In the first segment of my post you misunderstood me. The out of their league part, looking back, was irrelevant to my point i was trying to say that it seems some are trying to make excuses for not having a boy/ girlfriend due to there awkward social skills.

As for your second comment, I'm 18 and i've thought about marriage too ^5. I was talking about the probabilities of marriage occurring in the relationship of those who were talking about religion being a deciding factor in their relationships. And in your post you seemed to be inferring that I was against long term relationships in favor of short term relationships and nowhere in my post did i say that. I said that you shouldn't think about marriage until your a good way through college, which doesnt go against long term relationships, I only think marriage should be reserved until they've gone on long enough and your old enough. And in any case your twenty (and probably a good way through college) and you fit the bill for my statement no matter what so i really dont understand what your trying to argue.

But, in your third statement was where you really annoyed me. You managed to make false assumptions and degrade me based on those. You are implying that I treat girls like they weren't even human beings based on what I said which you should not have done, is insulting to me, and is untrue. You think just because most of my relationships have been based on sexual desire that im a womanizer! You are so ignorant! The feelings are mutual. Do you think girls hook up with guys because they are looking for a loving relationship? You seem to think girls in high school arent also interested in sexual relationships. I doubt you would have told me that i didnt treat guys as real people if i had said something similiar and was a female.

And as for your last post. Yes. In high school most relationships are more of an outing unless you both decide you really like each other and it becomes more serious which is again a mutual act. Please do not judge me again based on things you infer. Thank You

 

[Jammer]

Yeah, I'm wondering: How often do you guys think about marriage?

I'm 17, and I've started thinking about how much I want to be a dad. I know I'm way too immature to actually be one, but I still have some kind of parental instinct going on.

There's one girl who I've only talked to a total of 5 or so hours in my entire life. I haven't seen her in about 4 months. I was just thinking last night that I totally would want to marry her. I would want to have little babies with her and grow old with her. I was imagining us talking and having discussions about how to discipline the kids and what kind of car to buy.

Now, do I think that because I don't know her too well, and my memory of her is of this perfect, kind, beautiful, loving person, when in fact she's just a normal person like everyone else? I figure the fire will die down, but I don't want it to, you know?

Does that kind of thing happen to you guys and gals? Or am I weird?

Also, please don't laugh at me too hard, if you were going to.

 

[Livvers]

Long distance relationships are tough, especially when it has to do with schooling because you pretty much have to rely on holidays to see that person. My job requires me to travel and be out of the country for 2-3 months at a time(depending), and it sucks a lot to leave my boyfriend behind(and to leave my console games behind, ugh).

Yeah, I'm wondering: How often do you guys think about marriage?

I'm 17, and I've started thinking about how much I want to be a dad. I know I'm way too immature to actually be one, but I still have some kind of parental instinct going on.

There's one girl who I've only talked to a total of 5 or so hours in my entire life. I haven't seen her in about 4 months. I was just thinking last night that I totally would want to marry her. I would want to have little babies with her and grow old with her. I was imagining us talking and having discussions about how to discipline the kids and what kind of car to buy.

Now, do I think that because I don't know her too well, and my memory of her is of this perfect, kind, beautiful, loving person, when in fact she's just a normal person like everyone else? I figure the fire will die down, but I don't want it to, you know?

Does that kind of thing happen to you guys and gals? Or am I weird?

Also, please don't laugh at me too hard, if you were going to.

I think about marriage a lot, but I'm in a serious relationship that's lasted for a year so far. Still, I don't plan on actually getting married to my boyfriend for at least another year and a half or two years.

Heh, it's a little crazy to think like that about a person you've only talked to for 5 hours(it would freak me out if a guy thought about me like that). People are so different when you actually get around to knowing them, and then they may not be as great as they initially appeared.

 

[commonyoshi]

But, in your third statement was where you really annoyed me. You managed to make false assumptions and degrade me based on those. You are implying that I treat girls like they weren't even human beings based on what I said which you should not have done, is insulting to me, and is untrue. You think just because most of my relationships have been based on sexual desire that im a womanizer! You are so ignorant! The feelings are mutual. Do you think girls hook up with guys because they are looking for a loving relationship? You seem to think girls in high school arent also interested in sexual relationships. I doubt you would have told me that i didnt treat guys as real people if i had said something similiar and was a female.

Mutual feelings or not, if all your relationships are only physical then, yes, you are a womanizer because that's the only value you see in them.

I know I'm weird in this, but if I ever date someone I hope it is going to be a lasting relationship. I'm going to have to really, really like her, and she's going to have to be realy special for me to even consider anything romantic because I dont see any point in anything which lasts less than a month or so. For that reason, I dont think I could ever date anyone who wasn't the same religion (Christian) as mine. The Bible warns against marrying someone of a different religion, and just because of the way I am, I guess it also means I shouldn't date women of different religion either.

Meh, I dont know about dating and religion for the rest of you though. That's just my own perspective on myself.

Edit: I have thought about marriage, but it doesn't seem like my sort of thing. I could very easily live my whole life being single, and that's why it would take someone very special to get me interested in even dating. I hope there's someone like that out there, but I doubt there is, and if there isn't I would be fine with it.

 

[nindgod]

I realized that religion doesn't make the person.. the core does.

 

[ScaryMunky]

Hmm, I haven't read every post here, but I think a relationsh*t story is lacking. Well, I met this girl through a friend of mine about a year ago. Started out just hanging out in groups with said friend, and she started showing interest and my friend set us up on a date.

It was summer, I took her to the beach. Mind you we didn't really know each other that well at this point. I was skeptical about even taking her out at first, as honestly I wasn't that into her. Nonetheless, we went out, swam and talked at the beach. Because of how we met we had plenty to talk about, so it was kinda nice. After the beach we went back to my house, she met a few of my siblings, we played Guitar Hero and Animal Crossing (she was into games, that's about the only plus I can think of thinking back.. lol). Later that night we went to the mall and ate, saw a movie, and I took her home.

This one outing turned into a several month relationship. We became very close, seeing each other **** near every day. I don't really know how this happened, but we got to know each other quite well (or so I thought), and I became very fond of her. I was pretty close to the rest of her family. Her parents were awesome, and they liked me. Her dad plays a mean game of badmitten (or is it badminton?), and her mom is an awesome cook.

Well enough of that crap, on to the sh*tty stuff. One month into us dating, she cheated on me with some guy. I had known about them seeing each other that day, as they were old friends or whatever, and I didn't like it (I'm naturally a kind of jealous person, but, I had good reason with her, waaayy too flirty, and a sl*t/wh*re/etc.). *Ahem* Anyway, yeah, I found out from one of her girlfriends that the two of them had kissed on this little outing, and later that she had slept with him that day. Mind you, I didn't find out about what had happened between them until a few months later.

I immediately bid adieu (sp?) to that cheating, lying, backstabbing, two faced, loose-legged wh*re. I got my stuff from her house, and the day I went over to get it she had thrown on some makeup and a way low cut shirt and skirt (the girlfriend that informed me said she was trying to look hot so I would reconsider).. lol! So I got my stuff and walked out, with her trying to grab me and stop me, teary-eyed and hysterical.

This concludes my relationsh*t story. I guess the point is, some girls are meant to be one-time flings, as they only care about one thing. If you're looking for relationships, and are like me and actually put effort into them and really want to get to know the person and care for them, be there for them, and actually LOVE them, save it for a girl you've gotten to really know first.

Keep a wary eye 'gents.... and always use protection.

 

[KoreanDJ111]

Double post. Check the bottom.

 

[KoreanDJ111]

I read some of the stuff here and lol...

The ironic thing about relationships is that most guys, when they find
this SPECIAL girl that they LOVE and think about a possible marriage,
INSTANTLY turn into a wussbag, and it ruins any attraction the girl
felt for the guy.

He does good with some chicks that he finds
interesting but not too attractive, but whenever he finds Ms. Right,
he turns into a completely different person and pretty much do
anything for that girl.

The truth is, this repels the women and will
either dump you, cheat on you, or have an unfulfilled relationship
where she holds your chain like a pathetic dog at her every bidding
temporarily until she meets a REAL man and dump you.

The elusive obvious is that 90% of divorces in marriage is the fault
of men.

If women were dating a REAL MAN, then WHY THE **** WOULD SHE
CHEAT/LEAVE HIM?

It was because the guy SUCKS; either in Bed or personality wise as a MAN, not a PERSON.

When girls dig the guy and get into a relationship, the biggest problem is men turning into wussies, letting her decide on everything, being submissive on her every whim, constantly only thinking about her and begging the stars that the two of you
don't break up.

Well guess what?

That kind of thinking is an almost GUARANTEED fail.

Then of course, there are just some neurotic cheating girls, but they
are just very insecure, and you should just drop the relationship like
it's hot, and move on.

However, that is pretty rare (10%), so don't jump the gun and say "that was definitely her".

People rush into relationships waayy too fast.

They drop the L Bomb on eachother on the first/second date, and I would not be surprised if they break up after the next 3-5 dates.

It sets up a biased expectation because they don't know eachother well, and whenever it is broken, it's all over.

Guys put women on some kind of petal-stall and
worship her like some goddess, giving her all of the power (which they
absolutely HATE), and doing all the wrong things that kill attraction.

Instead, take things at a casual level, and see how things go.

Don't say heavy, intimate stuff till probably around 6-9 dates.

Tease her, have fun with her, bust her balls, have sex, etc., just don't go
"Oh...I have to tell you how I feel..." so early on, for that is one
of the laws of wuss-dom.

Now, do I believe in Love?

Yes I do.

However, being completely helplessly in love with a girl will ultimately screw you over in the long run, and you will be very disappointed and start hating women
because you don't understand why that ***** left a guy that would do
everything for her.

Most guys come from neediness in a relationship, seeing her all the
time, calling her every day, putting out all those rlly emo love notes
in your AIM profile to your girl, listening to a lot of emo love
songs, etc.

But that is wrong wrong WRONG.

This is when you turn into a huge wussbag and you slice your balls
into a silver platter and hand it to her, only for her to throw it
away in a trash can.

Sure, she'll be flattered and dig the attention in the short run, but
soon, things start turning very bad rapidly, and she can't figure out why she likes you anymore, and she says something along the lines of "It's not you, it's me." as a line to end things (and btw, when she says that, it is definitely you, not her).

Men MUST be the one to be in control of the situation and taking the
lead on the situation ALL the time.

People are confused about the Feminist movement. Especially men.

We give women rights, but what happens is that we go into sexual uniformity, which is NOT what women want.

Men must be the dominant one in the relationship.

Women WANT men to be the dominant one in the relationship.

It is a pain in the *** sometimes , but it sure beats the alternative, being a wussy and
having her make the decisions, only to be unsatisfied as a FEMININE
woman doing MASCULINE things, and she will ultimately leave you.

Some guys might say "But I want her to make the decisions too, I want
this to be an equal relationship."

Well guess what: That's just an idealistic bull**** that was conjured
by nonsense.

There is a gradual shift in relationships that fail.

In the beginning, the man makes 99% of the decisions. Then the man
makes 95% of the decisions. Then 90%, the 75%, and by the time 50%
comes by, it's already over.

Now, I'm not saying you should be domineering to women, or abuse them.

There is a clear distinction between being dominant and domineering.

It is important to be a mature and emotionally controlled MAN that has his act together.

But let me tell you, if you lose your role in being a
MAN, you will lose your role in the relationship itself.

One last thing, STOP IDEALIZING WOMEN. AND STOP IDEALIZING
RELATIONSHIPS WITH WOMEN.

I made this stupid mistake back a few years ago, where I thought this girl was the perfect one for me.

Guess what happened? Nothing happened between me and her.

In fact, it was counter-productive with what I really wanted to do: to get together with that girl.

If you keep thinking in your mind "Wow she is so hot/cute, she is so
perfect, nothing is wrong with her" well I'll tell you, you are in a
losing battle, and it will be that much harder to get together.

Do you know why Women are so hesitant with having sex so fast in the
relationship?

It's because it might make the man leave her.

And why do men leave if they have sex with women so early on?

It's because he put her on a pedal-stall and made her into something
that he needs to win her affection/attention for, and once he gets her
in the bed and finally does it, he loses interest because he already
got her, and then leaves.

This is why it is such a bad habit.

Not only does it make you into a
wuss with no power, but if you do get with her and sleep with her
quickly, you will lose that drive.

Instead, be indifferent, and that you have the power in the interaction.

Have you ever noticed those girls that had a crush on you, but you had
no idea existed?

I hate to make anime references, but it's like in Naruto, where Naruto is always trying to get with Sakura, but never gets her. Sasuke is INDIFFERENT with Sakura, and that drives her and all the other girls nuts. Does this mean Naruto is unattractive? No.
Hinata digs Naruto, but Naruto is INDIFFERENT towards Hinata and
doesn't even notice her. You see the pattern here?

The difference that makes the difference is indifference.

If some of you guys actually GET what I'm saying, then I'm sure you
guys will have a promising future as long as you step up your game.

If the others of you don't understand or refute it, then you don't GET
how women's minds work, and will go through a lot of trial and error until you finally do realize it.

Food for thought.

 

[Crimson King]

To the above guy: I love how your perfect relationship is to be completely controlling and having the woman at your every whim.

 

[KoreanDJ111]

To the above guy: The point is not to be controlling, it's taking the lead. Remember, there is a clear distinction between dominant and domineering. In every relationship, there is a dominant and a receptive role. Even in Lesbian/Gay relationships, there is always a dominant person in the relationship.
Look deeper into what I am talking about, and don't take things for face value. Being Authoritarian and cruel is not what a REAL MAN does, it's what a needy, insecure guy does to control his woman.

Being in control of HIMSELF, not being needy/desperate, enjoying the woman but also having a life, and never making her the top priority in his life.
Women LOVE it when a man leads her. You have things on a different perspective, and the only way for you to find out is to TRY IT. Make the decision for where to go. Make the decision for the time. Make the decision of when to meet. Make the decision of where to go next. Be the dominant one in bed. etc. etc. etc. Women change their minds all the time, so they depend on us to make firm decisions for them. Be chivalrous, but not a wuss. Be a "Genteel"-Man, not a "Gentle"-Man.

If you give it a paradigm shift, I'll guarantee you will see a change in your life with women and dating. And it'll be a rlly good change.

 

[Violet]

I don't think comparing anime to real life situations work <_<.

There's a whole lot of holes within your argument, I don't even know where to start XP. However, instead of having an entirely negative stance, I do agree with you that some women like the whole image of a strong figure (of a man) to look up to and to be protected by etc. Not all women, I know this girl in my class who's a strong feminist, so be careful of that.

If you condescend other people, regardless of their gender, then you're in for a downfall.

 

[kiwiii]

the purpose of dating is to find what kind of qualities you like in the opposite gender. the aspect of having a boyfriend/girlfriend changes severely between high school and college. and honestly, i find that guys are usually more immature than girls. that's why i've never dated anyone younger than me, or even the same age. just my personal experience.

and when a girl is 14 and the guy is 18 .. wow. it'd be understandable if it were 30 and 34, or even 20 and 24, but the **** that happens between the time you're 14 and 18 .. you mature soooo much and experience a lot of crap and go through a ton of change in every aspect. SO .. what can a 14 and 18 year old find in common, really? and i don't mean same hobbies or favorite food, ok that's cute. but how about actually having a deep connection with each other? what is a 14-year old doing "dating"? the ultimate purpose of dating, as i said before, is to find what traits you find valuable and important in your future spouse. good ****, 14-year old. i don't mean to judge but seriously, i doubt any 14-year olds really think about marriage.. not even 20, 21 year olds think about it, i bet. lol

marriage is a huge deal, and the typical couple don't get married until late 20's/early 30's, whatever, but what other real purpose does dating serve? sex? as much as today's media promotes it, there's more to life than sex. lmao. a self-esteem? hahaha. if you have a horrible self-esteem and you don't love yourself, a relationship isn't gonna fix that. as much as you'd like to think that a significant other will cure your teen angst or broken heart or horrid self-image, it simply doesn't work that way. seriously, how can you love others when you can't even love yourself? your problems aren't going to be resolved because of one person. maybe held off, but they'll come back sooner or later.

ANYWHO

kdj's whole thing basically comes down to having reservation and pace in a relationship. drop the idea of which gender wears the pants in the relationship and the outcomes of each scenario. moving too fast emotionally, physically, and mentally with someone, in reality, spoils the idea of really having an ideal, meaningful, or special relationship

&& yea, girls don't mean to be a ***** but it's actually unintentional. if you become completely whipped within the first couple of months, you're really making yourself look stupid. i guess, unless the girl feels the same way? there are always exceptions to these kinds of things. and lmaolmaolmao saying "i love you" to the other person within like, 2 days. so ****ing immature. this happens so much, especially in high school, which is why i've always been against hs relationships. what do you know about love? certainly, if you knew a little something, you would realize it's something that's precious and takes a lot of time. love is committment. so spamming that phrase within two dates completely defeats the meaning. that's like telling everyone around you how shallow your relationship actually is.

i do believe love exists, why wouldn't it? hate certainly exists. but i believe love is a lot more rare because people are naturally selfish and fear vulnerability. it requires so much out of people but it's definitely real

 

[shadenexus18]

Thats your opinion and everyone should respect it. However if god and Jesus really did exist and are all powerful. Don't you think they made her that way on purpose? So its really their reasoning, I know you don't want to argue against your lord's reasons.

Wow....this makes absolutely perfect sense! OMG, you win this whole forum.

@Crimson King, don't even try to think you understand my situation with your insult dibble! Does "Important Question" mean anything to you? Heh.....just get off my case, NOW!

 

[Violet]

Well, I think social engineering has a lot to do as to whether the female in question is 'manipulative, PMS crazy etc' as the stereotype goes and vice versa if the male is 'emotionally insensitive in appearance, chauvinistic' :s.

Believe it or not, there are girls whom aren't like that, and boys who aren't like that. We all have our mixtures of good and bad, I don't think anybody (unless they completely adhere to the media / society) is like the extreme above.

I know I'm not a man-eater / whatever O_o.

As for the religion thing: I'm an atheist. I wouldn't mind dating somebody who was theist however, as long as it doesn't involve anything that involves discrediting a person for their choice :x. I think it's incredibly patronizing the way that people whom aren't religious are seen to be heathens -_-.

 

[Crimson King]

Wow....this makes absolutely perfect sense! OMG, you win this whole forum.

@Crimson King, don't even try to think you understand my situation with your insult dibble! Does "Important Question" mean anything to you? Heh.....just get off my case, NOW!

Fact is SHE can do better than you if you are taking such an "important question" and discussing it on a message board rather than talking to her about it. Non-religious people are usually open about other ideas and when she sees you actually are in that much turmoil about her lack of faith, she might see there is something to it after. If not, then it wasn't meant to be. The fact you already have an issue with it and can't look past that to see who she really is, proves you probably don't care about her. If you did, you'd work past it.

 

[Mediocre]

The relationship between "the MAN" and "the little girl" is as disturbing as it sounds (NO FLAME INTENDED),what the hell is wrong with you. The thing with the heterosexual male sexual identity is that we are in control(Errections) and are naturally attracted to older women.

They are?

Then do most marriages consist of an older man and a younger woman?

 

[shadenexus18]

Fact is SHE can do better than you if you are taking such an "important question" and discussing it on a message board rather than talking to her about it. Non-religious people are usually open about other ideas and when she sees you actually are in that much turmoil about her lack of faith, she might see there is something to it after. If not, then it wasn't meant to be. The fact you already have an issue with it and can't look past that to see who she really is, proves you probably don't care about her. If you did, you'd work past it.

Nonsense!!! You clearly don't understand my situation! I've done EVERYTHING that I know to do in my power to see to it that this women becomes a Christian. However, I have not quote unquote "beat my gf over the head with the Bible." I've prayed, I've fasted, I've asked God for wisdom all to no avail. So don't lecture me with your "you don't need to be talking on a message board with your problems" crap when you sir aren't in and will never be in my shoes!

 

[Mediocre]

Nonsense!!! You clearly don't understand my situation! I've done EVERYTHING that I know to do in my power to see to it that this women becomes a Christian. However, I have not quote unquote "beat my gf over the head with the Bible." I've prayed, I've fasted, I've asked God for wisdom all to no avail. So don't lecture me with your "you don't need to be talking on a message board with your problems" crap when you sir aren't in and will never be in my shoes!

No, he won't, because he's not attached to a religion the way you are.

Personally, I just think it's sad that you consider your relationship with God to be more important than your relationship with other human beings.

 

[commonyoshi]

Not trying to be a jerk or anything, but that's because you dont have a relationship with God. It's something I could never accurately describe in full if I had all the time in the world, but I'll just say it's pretty darn important.

 

[NF Alex]

Personally, I just think it's sad that you consider your relationship with God to be more important than your relationship with other human beings.

That's how Christians are SUPPOSED to be. <__<

 

[Livvers]

I partially agree with KDJ.

Nobody likes someone who completely changes, and bends to their every whim and need. That **** is VERY annoying, and makes you feel like your dating a slave and not an actual person.

The whole dominant part depends from relationship to relationship. I can't stand someone who's overly dominant, really. I like it to be more even. I like discussing and agreeing on things. Still, a lot of girls love a more dominant guy. It IS true. *******s do get girls(but trust me, you don't want to date those girls anyways, they're stupid).

But women never like a guy who does everything for her and acts like she's holy. It's unattractive, lame, and it's boring. You're not treating a girl like they're a human being when you behave that way toward them.

 

[shadenexus18]

No, he won't, because he's not attached to a religion the way you are.

Personally, I just think it's sad that you consider your relationship with God to be more important than your relationship with other human beings.

Sorry, but I live, breath, and exist solely for God. My immediate family comes second, and everything else afterwards. And honestly, if you believe in the statement with your very being, then bro I pity you.

Anyways, that's how the Bible says I'm suppose to do things. It says that I'm suppose to put God 1st.

@Commonyoshi, Hiyo!

 

[CHAOSDRAGON88]

@Mediocre; Dont take my comment(s) out of context, and if you would have read my comment thoroughly you would have understood my viewpoint and how my comment was used. I have no direct answer as to why people have younger partners. Maybe it's Sexual, maybe it's purely based on aesthetics, or perhaps they feel like they prefer the role of a mentor-like position. Oh and for the record when your trying to address someone's faults please compose one with few to no gramatical errors in which to do so, because it really defeats its purpose.

 

[KoreanDJ111]

There's no need to attack each other's religion.
Especially in a smash brothers forum for a topic called Girls/Guys/Relationships.

I have seen very beautiful, intelligent women with a good sense of humor that loves a dominant man. Not a complete ****, but a man that is sure of himself, knows where he is going, doesn't apologize for what he does, and makes her feel like a WOMAN. And she definitely is not some dumb chick.

I believe that if you guys recognize the social dynamics of the "unconscious" mind, then you will start seeing the pieces of the puzzle fitting together.

You can argue with me with the "logics" of things, but remember, not a lot of things happening in male/female dynamics are logical in the first place.

 

[Crimson King]

Nonsense!!! You clearly don't understand my situation! I've done EVERYTHING that I know to do in my power to see to it that this women becomes a Christian. However, I have not quote unquote "beat my gf over the head with the Bible." I've prayed, I've fasted, I've asked God for wisdom all to no avail. So don't lecture me with your "you don't need to be talking on a message board with your problems" crap when you sir aren't in and will never be in my shoes!

Nor do I want to be in a position where an invisible man in the sky affects my relationships with people. First off, why should she change? There is nothing wrong with her not being a Christian and SO much wrong with you not accepting other difficulties. On a sidenote, I was Christian, I prayed tons for something to move me or affect me and I got the only negative answer - nothingness. I begged God to prove I wasn't alone and I got nothing. Pretty much killing in faith in Christianity for me. I like how you get pissed off when people make judgments about you, but then you are quite sure no one ever has experience what you feel and they are wrong. Get off your high horse.

No, he won't, because he's not attached to a religion the way you are.

Personally, I just think it's sad that you consider your relationship with God to be more important than your relationship with other human beings.

I agree with you here, but at the same time, I'm not going to blast him for believing in a god. People need to have that idea that they aren't alone in the world and in fact, are above any other creation in existence. I can't penalize him for believing in something really.

Sorry, but I live, breath, and exist solely for God. My immediate family comes second, and everything else afterwards. And honestly, if you believe in the statement with your very being, then bro I pity you.

Anyways, that's how the Bible says I'm suppose to do things. It says that I'm suppose to put God 1st.

@Commonyoshi, Hiyo!

I believe you can believe in whatever you want, but to PITY someone for not believing in your god is sad and disgusting. Why does he have to believe in what you believe? What says that you are right about what makes one happy in life and he is wrong? There are many religions in the world and maybe all of them are right. Maybe all of them are wrong. As long as your beliefs don't hurt another, believe what you want. Think Allah is the best? Cool, maybe he rocks, but don't blow people up for it. Think Yahweh is the best? Awesome, but don't put people to the sword who don't believe. Think Satan is the man? Rockin, but don't sacrifice animals and children to him.

Human beings are the number one problem with religion.

 

[Virgilijus]

As Shakespeare said:
"Lovers and madmen have such seething brains,
Such shaping fantasies, that apprehend
More than cool reason ever comprehends."

And while I agree with DJ, it is all variable; there are amazing women who enjoy and look for very different things.

The truth is, a relationship is all about experience; our best laid plans often go awry no matter how well thought out they are. We will all get burned; we all start off with nothing and in being crushed we now what to avoid when we stand back up. Some one can give you advice that worked for them and it can maim you if you try it just because of the nature of the beast.

Love is tough.