Corrupt-a-wish!

[Kirby Dragons]

Granted, but when you do, you drop the sword and it cuts you in half.

I wish for infinite wishes.

 

[Kneutronic]

Granted, but your only infinite wishes are you wishing for more infinite wishes, which are also wishes for infinite wishes, and so on.

I wish for nothing in particular.

 

[The Stoopid Unikorn]

Granted, but that means we have to break up

I wish to see Kenny IRL

 

[Devil May Plop]

...How can I corrupt this and call myself a good person?

I wish for -secret-.

 

[Kirby Dragons]

Not granted because I don't know what you're wishing for.

I wish a huge group of people would get mad at me and keep trying to kill me, but fail every time.

 

[Devil May Plop]

Granted. You somehow end up killing yourself.

I wish I could fly.

 

[Kirby Dragons]

Granted, but it is only temporary, and it ends while you're flying over a volcano.

I wish for an infinite supply of sweet potatoes.

 

[The Stoopid Unikorn]

Granted, but you can't eat any of them

I wish I was good at Street Fighter

 

[Devil May Plop]

Granted, but you still aren't good compared to top players.

I wish I could find something that I lost.

 

[Jason the Yoshi]

Very well, but you won't be needing it, and you'll end up throwing it away.

I wish Donald Trump would just withdraw from the election and never try to run for president again.

 

[The Stoopid Unikorn]

Granted, but whoever wins does the stuff Trump would do.

I wish I had infinite money.

 

[Iceweasel]

Granted, but your bank account overflows into NaN and you can't withdraw any of it.

I wish I was done with my homework forever.

 

[Kirby Dragons]

Granted, but you don't learn anything.

I wish to deflect this wish's corruption.

 

[Kneutronic]

Granted, but the wish doesn't even come true.

I wish my brain jumped out of my head and out of sight.

 

[Devil May Plop]

Granted, but you become a vegetable, and the brain dies on its own.

I wish I was the best ninja ever.

 

[Kirby Dragons]

Granted, but the second and third best ninja ever get jealous and team up to kill you.

I wish I could control time.

 

[EmceeEspio]

Granted, you accidentally undo your entire existence in any time stream and are bound to the eternal plane with no way for your soul to rest or return to the real world, W.D. Gaster style.

Nice job breaking it hero.

I wish to be able to use Aura Manipulation!

 

[The Stoopid Unikorn]

I wish to be able to use Aura Manipulation!

Granted, but your control over it is proportionate to how much pain you feel

I wish I was as hot as my avatar.

 

[EmceeEspio]

Granted, people are either hitting on you or further pretty much all the time in public.

I wish I was more agile.

 

[Sari]

Granted, you run so fast that you have a heart attack.

I wish I had every game on Steam.

 

[Kirby Dragons]

Granted, but you become broke buying them all.

I wish I gained the skills of everybody I saw.

 

[Devil May Plop]

Granted, but they're useless.

I wish I could instantly master any weapon.

 

[The Stoopid Unikorn]

Granted, but they're useless.

I wish I could plop.

 

[Deleted member]

Granted, but every four minutes they tell you you're battery is running low.

Granted but you fear the number four.

I wish for that Official Kirby's Marx plush to come out sooner.

 

[Kirby Dragons]

Granted, it comes out a negative year sooner, meaning that it comes out a year later.

I wish I was always in 100% perfect health, no matter what.

 

[Sari]

Granted, scientists kidnap you to find out why you're so healthy. They will never release you unless they find out the secret of your magically-appearing health.

I wish Mighty No 9 was not as disappointing as it was now.

 

[The Stoopid Unikorn]

Granted; it's even worse!

I wish Breath of the Wild didn't need you to own an amiibo to get Wolf Link

 

[Devil May Plop]

Granted. You need an amiibo to play the game period.

I wish I could teleport.

 

[The Stoopid Unikorn]

Granted, but it only works once a day and warps you at a random location in the world, but never close to the place you want.

I wish I could be Superman.

 

[Kirby Dragons]

Granted, but Darkseid kills you.

I wish a friend and I would use mirrors to reflect a laser back and forth indefinitely, creating a laser in between us with infinite force.

 

[Sari]

Granted, the laser moves so fast that if either of you moves at all, it'll kill one of you.

I wish I had something to do right now.

 

[Frizz]

Granted, but it's so incredibly boring that you decide to do it at a very slow pace.

I wish the Shiny Ralts that I just encountered after 9 years of Pokemon without ever finding a Shiny never had Teleport to begin with.

 

[Kirby Dragons]

Granted, but it it just walks away from the battle.

I wish this wish wouldn't be granted.

 

[Devil May Plop]

Granted. It's not granted, making it granted, making it not granted, making it granted, making it not-

I wish I could meet the cooler folks here in real life.

 

[The Stoopid Unikorn]

Granted: you visit them during their funerals

I wish I was a low tier hero in Smash 4

 

[Sari]

Granted, you're now a low tier hero-based character in Smash 4 that nobody uses.

I wish there were no more bugs in my house.

 

[Kirby Dragons]

Granted, your video games are now 100% bug free.

I wish for a box with infinite space in it.

 

[Sari]

Granted, you accidentally fall in it and are now falling forever.

I wish I had a can of orange soda.

 

[The Stoopid Unikorn]

Granted, but it tastes exactly like your least favorite beverage.

I wish I could marry a fictional character.

 

[Devil May Plop]

Granted, it's a Pepsi with orange coloring.

Damn it, Uni!

Granted, but it's one of your least favorites.

I wish I had super strength that I could control.