Corrupt-a-wish!

[Winner-Bit]

Granted. After your one-day marathon, no television shows interest you any longer. Ever.

I wish Question [?] blocks were real.

 

[Substitution]

Granted, but also Bowser exists.

I wish I was two dimensional.

 

[josh bones]

Granted, but now nobody can see you.
I wish I would win EVO.

 

[A10theHero]

Granted but you will be arrested for cheating and sentenced to life in prison directly afterwards.

I wish I could think of an awesome wish.

 

[josh bones]

Granted, but you don't get to use that wish.
I wish that they would finally cancel spongebob.

 

[A10theHero]

Granted, but an obvious rehashing of the series will begin shortly afterwards.

I wish I had more free time

 

[josh bones]

Granted, but you no longer have a life.
I wish for E3 to be today

 

[A10theHero]

Granted, but you will never know what happened at E3.

I wish I had a can of beans. I'm hungry...

 

[josh bones]

Granted, but you no longer hunger.
I wish for Money

 

[A10theHero]

Granted, but they explode on contact.

I wish I had a napkin

 

[KingofPhantoms]

Granted, but it's been used before.

I wish to visit Seattle.

 

[dimensionsword64]

Granted, but you get arrested for trespassing.

I wish Starfy was in Smash as a playable character.

 

[TRJV]

Granted, but he's as weak as his assist trophy is.

I wish that people hadn't discovered Roy and Ryu.

 

[dimensionsword64]

Granted, instead they discover every other piece of DLC.

I wish Jigglypuff (and all Pokemon, for that matter) were real.

 

[Iceweasel]

Granted, but battles are illegal.

I wish that I had more swords.

 

[dimensionsword64]

Granted, but you accidentally stab yourself with them.

I wish Hyrule Warriors had Ravio.

 

[Iceweasel]

Granted, but he's as cowardly there as he is an ALBW, and can't fight.

I wish the air around me was the perfect temperature.

Granted, but you accidentally stab yourself with them.

Wouldn't want to do that again.

 

[dimensionsword64]

Granted, but you get trapped in a refrigerator.

I wish I had a million bucks.

Granted, but he's as cowardly there as he is an ALBW, and can't fight.

Actually, at the end of ALBW he becomes (kinda) not a coward.

 

[JayTheUnseen]

Granted, but they're all torn in half.

I wish I could take a vacation somewhere and have no worries at all for a few days.

 

[Winner-Bit]

Granted. You go to Alcatraz Island, where ghosts tranquilize you and leave you to rot for a wonderfully relaxing 92 hours.

I wish I could git gud.

 

[Jason the Yoshi]

Granted, but you get bored.

I wish I knew what Nintendo's plans for Comic Con are

 

[Rocket Raccoon]

Granted but it's a phony.

I wish I had some paper

 

[Strofirko]

Granted but the toilet exploded

I wish the next person has a handsome avatar.

 

[Jason the Yoshi]

Granted, but altered because she's beautiful.

I wish this keyboard would stop pissing me off.

 

[WindHero]

Wish granted, but now your mouse will start irritating you.

I wish that the Pokemon games would start having player characters in their early 20's rather than adolescents.

 

[Rocket Raccoon]

Granted but they're all drunk all the time and Pokemon is dead.

I wish I could play the guitar

 

[CptJPuff]

Granted, but you can't read sheet music.

I wish the GameGrumps were Pro Melee players.

 

[Iceweasel]

Granted, but their skills at Melee are just as bad as their attempts at humor.

I wish that more people had played Xenogears.

 

[dimensionsword64]

Granted, but they all hated it.

I wish I could think of a crow pun to use in this situation.

 

[Winner-Bit]

Granted. You told it to everyone you knew, but it was so bad that as soon as they heard it, they CROWked.

I wish I knew what the crow puns are all about.

 

[The Stoopid Unikorn]

Granted, but you forget everything else

I wish I had a beard

 

[TRJV]

Granted, but it's not as manly as mine.

I wish that I was I good drummer.

 

[Iceweasel]

Granted, but during a show your drums explode and you become deaf in one ear.

I wish that I got free milk.

 

[KingofPhantoms]

Granted, but it's spoiled.

I wish I was tranquil as a forest, but on fire within.

 

[The Stoopid Unikorn]

Granted, but the fire within you literally burns you.

I wish I had more skills for making avis

 

[CptJPuff]

Granted, but your avis become corrupt after an hour.

I wish people looked for cars before they crossed the street.

 

[The Stoopid Unikorn]

Granted, but they no longer do it before crossing the streets, resulting in numerous deaths and car crashes.

I wish I was better at Smash

 

[Kneutronic]

Granted, but your mains get severely nerfed in the next patch.

I wish I had more wishes.
.

 

[The Stoopid Unikorn]

Granted, but none of them will come true.

I wish I had LESS wishes

 

[JayTheUnseen]

Granted, but now you have none, and are tormented forever by the fact that all wishes are now un-corruptable, and you thus wish you had some.

I wish I were as witty as Dimentio.