Um...Yeah...R34lly sl0w.
I don't know about MESSENGER and what not, as I don't know how readily the internet will be available to my laptop this summer...But I do know that by next school year, when I'm in college, being able to use Messenger shouldn't be an issue. WHEN to use it WILL be.
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"Don't listen to him; he's just being a jerk," Raven grumbled confidently, hoping to convince Starfire.
"How can I not care?" Starfire panted out incredulously, flailing her arms around. "I care about Robin more than--..." She paused her hysterical sentence as her thoughts crashed into a dilemma like a giant boulder blocking a road.
Raven was befuddled at first, curious as to what had made Starfire stop her sentence. Did she not care about Robin anymore, just like that?
"I value Robin more than...almost...everyone I know..." Starfire murmured, smiling weakly at Raven. With that smile, Starfire blasted into Raven's heart the greatest thank you that Raven had ever received.
"I'm...really worried about you, Starfire," Raven told her dispondently. "I don't want to see you...--" Raven trailed off, as she couldn't bring herself to finish the sentence and think deeply about the scenario of Starfire truly becoming what Raven used to be.
"I have been feeling so strange lately," Starfire explained drearily. "I do not feel like myself. I feel like seeds have been planted within me. They are growing into horrible, ugly plants..."
Raven was confused by Starfire's metaphor, as it could lead to varying concepts. She made the decision to try and take the Tamaranian's mind away from Robin and the desruction that had ocurred in their city days ago. Raven knew that the longer Starfire worried about it, the worse she'd feel, as was evident by her mood at the time.
"I know," Raven said after a few moments of silence, patting Starfire's shoulder. "I'll go find something for us to do together, unless you want to go out and see the others."
"I do not," Starfire quickly answered, her voice as cold as ice. Starfire was certain that none of the other Titans would accept her in such a deformed state, having committed what she viewed as a horrendous crime. Thirteen people had lost their lives because of a selfish mistake she made; she believed that to be a fact.
"All right, I'll go get something, then," Raven told her, standing up slowly from the floor next to Starfire's bed. She suddenly realized how cold it was in the room, and was reluctant to leave her friend alone in the chilly environment. "Are you hungry?" she asked Starfire with the same sweetness Star would give her but in the gravely voice she possessed. The Tamaranian Titan had proved to be quite an influence, Raven admitted to herself.
"I-I suppose I would enjoy some food," Starfire squeaked shakily.
"What should I get?" Raven inquired, trying to her best to sound as warm and comforting as possible. Though Raven would find this task impossible mere weeks before, she was getting better at it.
"Anything will do," Starfire answered meekly, guilt pouring into the air, leaking from her cloak. Raven was beginning to believe that Starfire was punishing herself for this 'crime' she had done, and it ached her heart to no end.
"OK," Raven muttered. "I'll be back in a few minutes."
The doors slid shut, enveloping Starfire in the darkness once again. She could still feel the light that Raven had brought into the room with her entrance, like needles piercing the shadows.
Starfire sat in a crumpled heap, quivering beneath her cloak like a child afraid of the monster in her closet. There was a rapping at her window, and she jumped, the nerves in her back tingling with worry. The room somehow seemed to grow even colder than it already was as the sound of that sinister knocking reverberated off the walls, spreading its vileness to every corner of the ghostly bedroom.
(She's back.)
-
She had to leave. She had to get out of that room as soon as possible. Her friend was waiting for her back upstairs, drowning in an emotional flood being raged by a storm of confusion.
She couldn't let that be known to those around her, though, or else the poor girl would have to face everyone--this was not an option. Starfire wasn't in a healthy state of mind right now, as was made clear to Raven just a few minutes ago.
"No, she, uh...Well, Starfire's still really depressed. I'm just gonna try and get her to socialize a little more."
"Yea," Tay murmured sadly, nodding her head contritely. "She really needs her friends, or else she'll go crazy."
"I know," Raven replied quickly, scooping up the 'Twister' box and tucking it in her armpit hastily. "Sorry," she said quietly, her steps brisk. "I'm really worried about her. It's a miracle that she's even talking to me."
For the next few moments, the room was hushed by Raven's heavy demeanor and slouching posture. The sound of her sneakers clapping the floor with dignified grace seemed to suck away any other noise present. The burning anger, wavering courage, and potent fear that had possessed her heart and mind spilled from her eyes, leaking to the floor in the form of a few teardrops. The door to Terra's bedroom slowly slid open, granting the enlightened young woman an exit. After her body passed through the gate, the metal door shut itself, leaving the room in a desolate silence.
-
"Starfire, if I don't open the shades, how are you going to see what you're doing?" Raven asked, slowly drawing a layer of red cloth away to let the afternoon sunlight in.
Starfire replied only with a grunt, squinting her eyes and shielding them. Raven continued to open the remaining curtains, unlocking the floodgates to let light pour in.
Starfire had made her way to the window, still wearing Raven's cloak over her like a shield to stop the light from melting her skin. Her emerald eyes, packed with fear, quickly gazed around the windows as if they were looking for something on the side of the tower. Raven was perplexed when she noticed Starfire's actions, and led the poor girl away from the window and to the white, plastic mat spread out on the floor. As she untied her blue-laced sneakers, her eyes remained glued to her weary friend.
Starfire looked pretty hungry, based on her bloodshot eyes, drowsy demeanor, and the way her stomach would gurgle on ocassion. Raven had prepared a sandwich of wheat bread jammed with deli meats, lettuce, tomatoes, and plenty of mustard. But even mustard, it seemed, wouldn't make Starfire happy. She had refused to consume the food, insisting that she didn't need it. Raven had made Star promise that she'd eat the sandwich before 4:00, when they had to get ready for their job that night. The food sat on a small plate on Starfire's dresser, begging to be swallowed. It was comforted by an abstract sculpture Starfire had made shortly after becoming a Teen Titan. As Raven checked to see if the sandwich was safe, she realized just how warm and cozy Starfire's room was in the light. It was a pink and red burst of bubbly joy from the laced cloth on her nightstand to the velvet pillows on her bed. It was astonishing how gloomy the room looked when it was dark.
Raven noticed that Starfire's feet were bare, and she could tell that her toenails had lengthened like her fingernails, if only by a couple centimeters or so. Raven was sure that Starfire's nails had to have grown quite a bit over the past day. It was like she was devolving into some sort of cave-woman. Her appearance, her attitude, and even her speech seemed to be deteriorating. Though the appearance was a mystery, Raven knew that the mind and soul were damaged due to her broken heart.
Raven had placed the spinner to the game on the floor beside the mat as she knelt slowly, her attention glued to Starfire like a rodeo rider on a bull.
"Starfire," Raven asked gently, "could you take the cloak off? It'll make it...difficult to play..."
With a small hiss of frustration, Starfire froze in place on her knees. Her body trembled reluctantly as a slender arm inched its way to her shoulder, fingers tightly squeezing at the palm. She slapped the shaking hand onto her shoulder quickly, but held it in place. She applied great pressure for a few moments, as if she was trying to squeeze pain out. A quick flick of the wrist flung the dark cloak, her outer shell, from her tainted body and into the dim air. It drifted on a slow, haphazard trip to the edge of the ovular bed behind her. She sunk to her knees very suddenly, as if her legs had buckled beneath her.
"I am ready," she quietly announced, her eyes half-open in a dreary expression of repulsion.
Raven, shaken from the actions of her friend, tried to maintain her calm, concentrating on the spinner on the carpeted floor. Using a gentle force of light energy, she sent the plastic arrow twirling. As she waited for it to slow down, she examined Starfire's pale face--the darkness beneath her eyes, the thin, red lines in her green eyes, and the way her body sagged from fatigue. Raven was relieved when the arrow finally stopped, as the sight of Star was unnerving.
"Left hand red," she blurted out. She waited for Starfire to make her move first, which was the action of a slender arm slapping onto the plastic mat drowsily. Raven placed her own palm onto the colored circle right next to Star's, then sent the spinner around again.
Roughly ten turns later, the game seemed to be drawing to a close. Starfire's body was sprawled across the entire board, struggling to stay upright, while Raven was scrunched up in a tighter area, her body twisted enough without her friend's help.
As the black arrow seemed to hesitate as it selected the next move like a reluctant judge, Starfire's right leg was jolted by a cramp, causing it to wobble a bit before collasping. This initiated a chain reaction in which Starfire's body collided with the floor, throwing Raven off her center. Within a second, the two were in a tangled mess on the ground, letting out cries of surprise as they had plummeted. After a moment of moaning, they untied their bodies with effort and sat upright, dazed.
"...I apologize," Starfire murmured dully, staring through the carpeting into some other realm.
Raven sighed and shook her head dismally. "It's all right. It was an accident."
"I am sorry for my attitude," Starfire specified coldly. "You are here to comfort me, and I am behaving like a wallargog..."
Ever impressed by the Tamaranian language, Raven was at a loss to reply.
"I do not deserve companionship at this time," Starfire explained. "...I do not wish to burden you with my anger and sadness."
Raven smiled weakly and told her, "Starfire, there was a time when I felt the same way, and you still gave me company. If anything, I'm returning the favor."
Starfire shook her head slightly, insisting that she was undeserving.
"You did not cause the death of--"
"Stop it!" Raven shouted out with a shocking bitterness, her words jolting out like lightning. Starfire flinched, blinking at her best friend with wide eyes. "I'm sick of hearing about that nonsense," Raven's raspy voice growled with frustration. "Starfire, it was not your fault that this happened. How can you possibly blame yourself?" she demanded fiercely.
"If it was not for my rash decision, then nothing bad--"
"Starfire, if that Killer Moth jerk had never sent out his stupid insects, you wouldn't have been able to make any rash decisions!" Having trapped Starfire in a net of silence, Raven continued to drill her point into the Tamaranian's skull. "You are not a criminal. You tried to help prevent the situation. It's not your fault, or Robin's fault, or any of us. Yes, we made mistakes, and the situation could have been prevented if we had made better choices, but it was never our choice to kill anyone or try to destroy Jump City."
Starfire rubbed her aching forehead around the oddity that protruded from it and nodded contritely, her eyes closed.
"You are correct...But those thirteen people...they had no choice at all..."
The two girls simmered the issue in the stew of their minds for a few tranquil moments.
"Did you really have a choice, either?" Raven asked rhetorically, rising to her feet warily. "It wasn't your fault. If any Titan is to blame, it's all of us. We're a team, Starfire. That means that we're all responsible for each other."
Raven made her way to the door, step by step, as she spoke those words. Having reached the exit and opened the door, she muttered, "You want to be alone now--I can see it in your eyes. Make sure you eat, and remember that we have a meeting outside in a half hour."
Raven's somber expression was the last thing that the self-loathing Tamaranian saw before the metal door slid to a close and silence fell over the room like a thick fog. The image of Starfire's exhausted face--those bloodshot, hateful eyes of emerald--was engraved into her mind as she wandered through the halls aimlessly, wishing the day would end so that the hope of a new day would come faster.
-
Heheh...
While I trying to find the Zelda Manga (which I still haven't found) I stumbled upon some new Zelda news.
I'm not sure if it's confirmed, but a very reliable source says that the new Zelda game's subtitle will be 'The Twilight Princess.'
All in all...I'm still looking forward to this game with great anticipation. This game will not doubt determine where Zelda is headed. If it kicks @$$, then things will rock. But this game has everything to lose, so Nintendo's best better be paying attention (as I'm sure they are.)
Now, then...
Needless to say, I am very pleased with Zelda looking bad-@$$.
Of course, Link looks a little more bad-@$$, eh?
*sarcastic applause*
I only make it obvious. 
Further, I can only use these computers for an hour or two a day, as other people use them, too, so bitorrent becomes even LESS convenient.
