Waiter small talk?

[JFox]

So I'm a waiter, and I'm looking for the general population's honest opinion. Do you like it when the waiter tries to make conversation with you, or would you prefer that they just take the order and bring you the food without really getting to know each other?

Again, I want your honest opinion.

 

[victra♥]

I like making conversation. I actually feel kinda bad otherwise. It's hard to explain kinda.

But I guess it really depends on the people. Some people are just jerks who just wanna come, eat, and leave. Others are a bit more social obviously, so I guess you can try to make conversation with everyone and if they're like :| then you could just leave them alone.

 

[Jam Stunna]

If you know how to make small talk, go for it. But nothing ruins a night faster than a waiter who doesn't know what's appropriate to talk about.

 

[MBreeto]

If you know how to make small talk, go for it. But nothing ruins a night faster than a waiter who doesn't know what's appropriate to talk about.

Exactly. Also, the one thing that annoys me is when the waiter doesn't really pay attention to the table, and you have to wait a long time just to pay.

 

[Mini Mic]

If they start talking to you I think it's ok but you shouldn't talk with them too long since you are still there to work. I know in the past a supervisor at the place I was working was getting annoyed with one of the employees that started having a conversation with a customer.

 

[Evil Eye]

The thing I offer is not to be overbearing. I'm a sociable guy, I like to talk to people. So it adds to my restauranting experience.

But I freaking hate it when wait staff come at me like dogs with their tongues hanging out for so much as a cent of tip.

I also hate when they do the bare minimum to get a tip. Like, bring me my beer, then come back ten minutes later and ask if I want another round, then come ten minutes after I get my food to ask how everything is (why it's great thank you, wanna talk about drying paint next?), then bugger off until it's dessert or bill time.

Like, ****, go ahead and just do hte minimum, but don't sneak in all those faux-pleasantries because you think it'll boost your tip. It won't, and it comes off as phony.

 

[Mini Mic]

^ This is one of the reasons tips are a bad idea.

 

[MBreeto]

^ This is one of the reasons tips are a bad idea.

True. Plus, 89 cents, double the beef.... Reservoir Dogs has a good bit about tips. I dunno, if there weren't tips, then there would be a shortage of waiters.

 

[Circus]

I think Jam Stunna summed it up best. Awkward small talk is awkward, but one really fast, mildly amusing anecdote might get you a few more dollars.

On a funny and mildly related note, I'm going to urge you to think carefully about how you greet a table if you are not 100% sure about the genders of all the people in the party on your first glance. I say this because on a rather large number of accounts (if I said 5, I'd be low balling...), a server has come up to my table, seen me and one female acquaintance , and has asked "How we doin' tonight, ladies?"

It makes things awkward very quickly. There's lots of clumsy apologizing, I feel embarrassed, the server feels embarrassed, and it's all just very uncool. You'll want to avoid that. So if you can swing a souther drawl, you might just want to stick to "How ya'll doin'?"

 

[Tom]

I like simple talk with waiters. Very simple talk. I enjoy having conversation with the person I'm eating with, but I enjoy having mindless conversation with waiters. Stuff I don't have to think twice about.

But I freaking hate it when wait staff come at me like dogs with their tongues hanging out for so much as a cent of tip.

their nose getting wet for so much as a scent of a tip.

True. Plus, 89 cents, double the beef.... Reservoir Dogs has a good bit about tips. I dunno, if there weren't tips, then there would be a shortage of waiters.

Ha, and ha.

 

[Crystallion]

Sure thing. Well, maybe I'm biased because I was in love with a waiter ^^; So I like to talk with him. Any other waiter is okay too, it's neat because making conversation makes me feel better and more at ease.

EDIT: Sorry about the sig, I'll take it out. ^^;

 

[Mith_]

Hmm....
It's rare that waiters small talk with me, but the ones I get always wait tables very well so I give them a nice tip.
I dunno, you don't have to small talk, but let the customers know you are human by saying stuff like "happens to me all the time" or commenting on things they choose to order and what not.

 

[SuperBowser]

Personally, I prefer when the waiter doesn't start talking to me lol. I don't mind humour or simple comments but that's about it.

The exception is when they happen to have something genuinely funny/interesting to say. Like one time, there was about 10 people on the table making fun of a guy for eating with his chopsticks wrongly and the waiter joined in .

 

[smallwolf24]

simple comments are good enough for me but nothing to long that it would start to bother me.

 

[Crimson King]

I hate small talk. It's usually so forced, akward, and pointless. Both participants know nothing will come from it, other than to pass the time, so I hate it.

Waiters/Waitresses are fine with talking. I only tip based on service. I have a set criteria in my head of what needs to be done to get an adequate tip (15 - 20%). I feel a waiter or waitress is just coming off as they do not care or I am a burden, I am not above tipping $0.01 to prove that A. I tip, and B. I noticed. One time as some restaurant, this lady was a total ***** to us. We sat there for 30 minutes without even getting a drink. Once that came, she brought us the wrong ones but took another thirty minutes to get that. When she finally ordered our food, it was at least 20 minutes before we even saw her again. The restaurant was busy, but we saw at least 6 or 7 waiters and waitresses working diligently on other tables. I got aggravated, waited until she said our food was almost done, and I canceled the order - almost two hours and no food and one drink with no refills. Ridiculous.

 

[missedwithtruestrike]

meh, i used to like talking to all the waitresses, id glirt, theyd flirt back, but now there all gone, and whats letf are old ladies.
generally speaking though, i like to eat, plain and simple and if youre talking to me is going to delay my meal i am goin to be upset but if my meal is being amde and you tlaking to me i wint give a ****, i like to talk too, but not as much as i like to eat.
so for me i guess it comes down to do your **** job and talk to me later.

 

[AquaTech]

It depends on the people you're serving. If it's just one person, go for it. If it's a small group, only if they seem receptive. If it's a big party, probably not.

 

[DoH]

It's really all about reading your tables and how they'll respond to it, and how much you've liquored them up.

Old people usually like some sort of small talk, but they generally tip as it were the 50s so it's not really worth it in most cases. Asian tables usually want you to get in and out and get on with your life. Some black women are incredibly loquacious while others are quite dismissive; usually their husbands/boyfriends act like accessories and don't really talk to you. Rich people usually love it if you make fun of poor people, and poor people love to hear crazy rich people stories. Latin men usually order for their wives and they don't really want there to be any contact between you and their "property." Cowboys love good stories as long as you've brought them their beer/whiskey.

Self-deprecation sometimes can go a long way as well.

It really bugs me when I'm at work and I hear other waiters just schmoozing on other tables. It's icky.

 

[Xsyven]

lol, Circus looks like a girl?

 

[dawgbowl]

I don't know how you people can just generalize waiting.

I work at Carrabbas, it may not be upscale but its no Ihop, Denny's, or some other random diner. I keep my conversations short, unless the table wants to chat. These comments about "I just want my food" are appropriate at random diners but if we are acting friendly the least you can do is show some curtosy for maybe 20 seconds, seriously, after that if you want to continue a conversation you can.

We put up with your **** because its the best money a college student can make outside of a good internship for part time. You tip because we do a good job, I tip on the extremes (18-25) down to (5-10) if you suck. Again, this is for a nice sit down place (Or semi-nice Outback/bonefish/carrabbas) for IHOP I usually put about 15 regardless of the performance. Some serving jobs are meant to be more personal, don't go to those places if you hate talking to servers go somewhere else.

Don't generalize serving, there are many different aspects to it.

yes ghetto and old people tip like **** and are worth little of your time, I'm still nice I just don't expect anything and focus more in the young couple or 40 something table of 4 drinkers, coincidently they are friendlier 9 times out of 10.

 

[Mith_]

yes ghetto and old people tip like **** and are worth little of your time.

why don't you just go ahead and say black people? :embarrass

 

[Azua]

I dunno about anywhere else, but in my area there are far more "ghetto" whites than blacks.

 

[Livvers]

Dawgbowl takes dis **** seriously. Lol.

I am generally not very good at being social. I rely on other people to make small talk with waiters for me while I just avoid eye contact. Regardless, I do like waiters that are friendly, but it really depends on their own personality. I, too, don't like people who force it.

I generally tip pretty well, but if someone does an awful job, I'll give crap. One place me and my boyfriend went to, our waiter took ****ing ages to take our orders. She had friends as customers, we knew, because we constantly saw her talking to them, hanging on them. When she caught us looking, she would come over all apologetic and be like,"So sorry guys, thanks for understanding. Sorry for the wait." But she would still **** around. And the place wasn't packed at all. Took us over an hour to finish and get our check. Normally that wouldn't be bad, but we were eating at a place that serves mainly desserts. We've been to this place before. We know how long it takes.

Oh gees, way to go Mithx =|

 

[Mith_]

I'm sorry =[
Since you just stared working there I guess just work on being a good waiter rather than small talk. I'm sure it would net you more tips quicker than small talking would

 

[Thundermistress]

Really at the end of the day I just try to be courteous to the customers, if I think they'll respond to a little small talk then I tend to just ask a polite question as they're paying or waiting for the credit card docket, if they're paying at the counter.

Single diners usually appreciate a little bit of conversation I think, I once had a guy come in a quiet lunch when i was working by myself with a nice Canon SLR. So I go ask him about what lens he has (because I was genuinely interested) and this launches us into a long conversation as I'm dusting and cleaning around him about photography and what I'm studying etc. Although if a single diner comes in with a newspaper or a book, you know well enough to let them be.

Couples and bigger groups on the whole I tend to just focus on giving good service with.

 

[Makaveli X]

So I'm a waiter, and I'm looking for the general population's honest opinion. Do you like it when the waiter tries to make conversation with you, or would you prefer that they just take the order and bring you the food without really getting to know each other?

Again, I want your honest opinion.

I think its good if a waiter makes small talk. It creates more of a personal level with the person you're serving without getting too personal if that make sense. Then again, some people might prefer the other, so it probably depends on the person.

 

[cryptic metaphor]

If you are a girl waiter small talk it all you want.

 

[Flamingo]

This is a little off-topic, but I went to a sushi restaurant today, and all the waitresses were wearing mini-skirts and fishnets... Wow. Such a wonderful idea. THIS NEEDS TO GO GLOBAL.

 

[Circus]

lol, Circus looks like a girl?

Well, I've never thought so, but clearly servers (read: waitresses) disagree. I mean, my hair's relatively short and it's not like I rock skirts and high heels. Must be my mile-long lashes.

 

[Livvers]

Yeah. Circus only wears skirts and heels on the weekends.

 

[GreenKirby]

I don't know how you people can just generalize waiting.

Don't generalize serving, there are many different aspects to it.

yes ghetto and old people tip like **** and are worth little of your time, I'm still nice I just don't expect anything and focus more in the young couple or 40 something table of 4 drinkers, coincidently they are friendlier 9 times out of 10.

I always did love me some irony in the afternoon.

 

[JFox]

It's really all about reading your tables and how they'll respond to it, and how much you've liquored them up.

Old people usually like some sort of small talk, but they generally tip as it were the 50s so it's not really worth it in most cases. Asian tables usually want you to get in and out and get on with your life. Some black women are incredibly loquacious while others are quite dismissive; usually their husbands/boyfriends act like accessories and don't really talk to you. Rich people usually love it if you make fun of poor people, and poor people love to hear crazy rich people stories. Latin men usually order for their wives and they don't really want there to be any contact between you and their "property." Cowboys love good stories as long as you've brought them their beer/whiskey.

Self-deprecation sometimes can go a long way as well.

It really bugs me when I'm at work and I hear other waiters just schmoozing on other tables. It's icky.

DoH, sounds like you work in a bar and grill? Those are some pretty accurate descriptions

By the way I've been waiting tables for 3+ years now. I currently work in an elegant italian restaurant and wear a button down and tie everyday. I also used to work at an applebees, which sucked.

Most people that come in are on a date, or with a small group 3-5. I find that couples like to talk a lot more than groups, especially married couples. Groups of women like to be a little flirtatious and so I try but usually suck at it. My comfortable disposition at work is a very proper and curteous attitude. I'm pretty much all business. Everyone is mam, miss, or sir.

Oh and I'm sorry to be stereotypical, but old people, blacks, asians (including indian), hispanics, moms, and kids are all generally not good tippers. (Not good, meaning anything from average to bad. 10%-15% range) Obviously this isn't true to everyone in these groups, but its generally true. Best thing is to get is a rich drunk white guy with no kids who is coming out on a date with a new girlfriend. Let the liquer flow.

 

[Lemonwater]

Haha, true.

I am a horrible tipper (I'm Asian). I just give a dollar per person instead of go by the 15% thing. XD

 

[BubbleTea]

It never hurts to try it a little, and just guage each parties response.
Some people will enjoy small talk one day, and not another.
Just don't be hokey

 

[Timbers]

Small talk I support. I think it's nice to talk with people no matter where I'm at, but they should also keep in mind that I am there to eat and I'd rather be eating than talking about how hard their day has been.

Open the conversation giving the customer the spotlight. If they take the opportunity then maybe you can flesh out the conversation a bit more. If they seem like they want to be left alone then I'd do so, not everyone is in a cheery mood when they walk into a restaurant.

 

[Deleted member]

I was a waiter at a Holiday Inn for 2 years, I found that small talk was good here because there was never anyone else in the restaurant to take their orders

Charlie Daniels came to the hotel and ate in the restaurant. There I was, practically drooling over his table waiting for the tip, and I was suprised to find out that he is a friggin lousy tipper! It was like 12%!

 

[MyCurse4Life]

Im not a conversation person but whenever Im in a awkward situation I always bring up the earth's population and how its gonna kill us in the future. ^_^

 

[Geist]

Like it's been said, if the person is friendly and good at small talk, everything's good.
If the conversation somehow steers towards tips, forget it.