Social Ultimate Social Thread: Under Construction. Be Back Soon!

[Deleted member]

Y'all feeling pretty betrayed and also kinda fishing for advice and I use this forum for venting already so I'ma just dump it

There's this dude I've known since I was fifteen. Me and him are really good friends, and I mean really good friends. I'm saying this completely unironically, I would literally trust him with my life

Anyways it turns out he beats his girlfriend

And I have no ****ing clue what to do. I don't know where to take it, I don't know how I'm supposed to handle it, and so far I'm the only person she's told and I'm kinda freaking out

I know for a fact that she's being hurt. She showed me the bruises. There's no benefit of the doubt here

Now I usually wouldn't be conflicted about anything. But the thing is is that she's insisting I don't go to the law or tell anyone and she's freaking out about even telling me in the first place and I have no clue what the hell I'm supposed to do in this situation

Confront him about it. Make him know that beating his girlfriend is not right.

 

[SnakeFighter64]

As Grey said, talk to your parents. Also try reaching out to your teacher if you know their office hours and guidance counselor if you have one. Don't let this go unsolved.

And you're not a horrible person because you made a mistake, it just means you aren't very competent.

I'm 20 years old. I should be more competent than this. I should be able to pass my classes fine. If I screw up I should be able to learn from it and not screw up in the same way again. How am I gonna work in the film industry, or any industry at all, if this keeps happening over and over and over again. Why can't I fix myself?

 

[PsySmasher]

Y'all feeling pretty betrayed and also kinda fishing for advice and I use this forum for venting already so I'ma just dump it

There's this dude I've known since I was fifteen. Me and him are really good friends, and I mean really good friends. I'm saying this completely unironically, I would literally trust him with my life

Anyways it turns out he beats his girlfriend

And I have no ****ing clue what to do. I don't know where to take it, I don't know how I'm supposed to handle it, and so far I'm the only person she's told and I'm kinda freaking out

I know for a fact that she's being hurt. She showed me the bruises. There's no benefit of the doubt here

Now I usually wouldn't be conflicted about anything. But the thing is is that she's insisting I don't go to the law or tell anyone and she's freaking out about even telling me in the first place and I have no clue what the hell I'm supposed to do in this situation

Man, this is a really rough situation...

The only advice I can really give is that you have to do something.

You can’t just let this continue, regardless of how much of a friend this guy is.

You could either notify her parents, get the authorities involved, or confront him yourself. All of these have their positives and negatives.

But at the end of the day, you need to take some type of action.

 

[Raxxel]

Y'all feeling pretty betrayed and also kinda fishing for advice and I use this forum for venting already so I'ma just dump it

There's this dude I've known since I was fifteen. Me and him are really good friends, and I mean really good friends. I'm saying this completely unironically, I would literally trust him with my life

Anyways it turns out he beats his girlfriend

And I have no ****ing clue what to do. I don't know where to take it, I don't know how I'm supposed to handle it, and so far I'm the only person she's told and I'm kinda freaking out

I know for a fact that she's being hurt. She showed me the bruises. There's no benefit of the doubt here

Now I usually wouldn't be conflicted about anything. But the thing is is that she's insisting I don't go to the law or tell anyone and she's freaking out about even telling me in the first place and I have no clue what the hell I'm supposed to do in this situation

The only way you can stop this for good is to go to the law as soon as possible despite her objections to it. It may be painful to do to a friend, but things will only get exponentially worse the longer this goes on. As TPC said, an anonymous tip would be the best route.

 

[Deleted member]

I'm really panicking. I might fail one of my college classes because of a misunderstanding at the beginning of the semester and I can't see how my final exam score will effect the grade, and the teacher hasn't put all the grades in the machine so I don't know how I score and I'm worried I'll fail and if I fail a class then my parents will make me pay for it and that's thousands of dollars I will never have and I'm super scared and I don't know what to do and she won't answer my emails and I can't talk to my parents about this because they'll get mad at me because **** like this has happened before and no matter how many times I have a problem I can never fix the cause and I'm a horrible person and please someone help me!

If you're failing a College Class just go to your teachers office if possible since your Teacher did not put the grades in yet you still have time to do so, Contact them and see if you could retake it.

If it's too late try and retake the class or take a new one to make up for it. You have options and I would suggest doing one of those two things.

Y'all feeling pretty betrayed and also kinda fishing for advice and I use this forum for venting already so I'ma just dump it

There's this dude I've known since I was fifteen. Me and him are really good friends, and I mean really good friends. I'm saying this completely unironically, I would literally trust him with my life

Anyways it turns out he beats his girlfriend

And I have no ****ing clue what to do. I don't know where to take it, I don't know how I'm supposed to handle it, and so far I'm the only person she's told and I'm kinda freaking out

I know for a fact that she's being hurt. She showed me the bruises. There's no benefit of the doubt here

Now I usually wouldn't be conflicted about anything. But the thing is is that she's insisting I don't go to the law or tell anyone and she's freaking out about even telling me in the first place and I have no clue what the hell I'm supposed to do in this situation

I would suggest contacting the police regardless but since you can't do so try and see if you can contact their parents or family and tell them instead as that would be the second best thing, Since she asked you to not go to the police tell her family and see if they could do something about it.

And if you feel Upset, Disappointed or angry at your friend it's okay to feel that way I would feel the same thing if my best friend did that to someone, You may not want to contact someone cause it's your friend but I suggest you do so anyways it would be worth it in the end.

Be it Police against her pleas or her family you should contact someone before it gets worse.

 

[Deleted member]

I'm hella gonna do something, I'm not just gonna stand by

Can't exactly talk to her parents. I haven't known her for long, but I know she's estranged

Confronting him myself seems like a bad idea

I was thinking about leaving a tip for the law or investigators or something. I gotta look into that

Do you have any friends in common? If so you can try and talk with him together. Otherwise the anonymous tip sounds like the better plan.

 

[Tree Gelbman]

Just get moana’s voice actor again

Too young for Nani I believe?

And too old for Lilo.

But she'd be one of the people I'd be fine with being in a live action version of that movie.

 

[Cutie Gwen]

Yeah not gonna lie I've got nothing because I'm fortunate enough to not have gone through this. Sorry Faygo. Hope you find something that works. If it all goes well, give her a hug when it's over

 

[Deleted member]

I'll probably hook her up with a place to stay in the meantime. She realizes that it's abusive, but she's freaked out about going to people with it for some reason. I've got people I trust who she can stay with for the next week or two.

I'm probably not gonna confront him about it directly. That feels like an awful idea, mostly because I would probably lose my cool and a lot of **** can go wrong that I don't wanma deal with.

I feel like leaving a tip or just straight up going to the cops is the best idea. I'll have to figure out the best way to do so, however.

 

[Teeb147]

Ah, the duality of man.

Being serious, we are nothing more than observers. Do whatever you feel most comfortable with.

You could also talk to her about it and try to get her to realize she's in an abusive relationship and needs to get out. You might get mixed results with that one though.

I agree with you, ideally it should be up to her to realize that it's no relationship worth staying in. Anytime a partner is violent should be a time to think about leaving for better. No one deserves that.
The question is maybe if she'd be able to do that. Some girls have stayed in abusive relationships for a long time.

Do you think you'd be able to convince her it's best to leave, @faygoshill ?

And I think you're right that we dont know everything enough to be the best advice givers.

 

[Ramen Tengoku]

Y'all feeling pretty betrayed and also kinda fishing for advice and I use this forum for venting already so I'ma just dump it

There's this dude I've known since I was fifteen. Me and him are really good friends, and I mean really good friends. I'm saying this completely unironically, I would literally trust him with my life

Anyways it turns out he beats his girlfriend

And I have no ****ing clue what to do. I don't know where to take it, I don't know how I'm supposed to handle it, and so far I'm the only person she's told and I'm kinda freaking out

I know for a fact that she's being hurt. She showed me the bruises. There's no benefit of the doubt here

Now I usually wouldn't be conflicted about anything. But the thing is is that she's insisting I don't go to the law or tell anyone and she's freaking out about even telling me in the first place and I have no clue what the hell I'm supposed to do in this situation

The best advice i can give is do whatever you think is best, just don't do nothing. This needs to be dealt with, and doing nothing, won't help at all

 

[osby]

I'm 20 years old. I should be more competent than this. I should be able to pass my classes fine. If I screw up I should be able to learn from it and not screw up in the same way again. How am I gonna work in the film industry, or any industry at all, if this keeps happening over and over and over again. Why can't I fix myself?

Well, you can't "fix" yourself because you're not broken. Everyone flunks a few classes. You just need to be persistent and use your opportunities better next time.

 

[SnakeFighter64]

If you're failing a College Class just go to your teachers office if possible since your Teacher did not put the grades in yet you still have time to do so, Contact them and see if you could retake it.

If it's too late try and retake the class or take a new one to make up for it. You have options and I would suggest doing one of those two things.

Did you not here me say that my parents will make ME pay for the class if I fail. These courses cost thousands of dollars that I will never be able to pay back. All the money from my job will go to it so goodbye any type of hobbies or extra grocery money.

 

[Cutie Gwen]

I'm 20 years old. I should be more competent than this. I should be able to pass my classes fine. If I screw up I should be able to learn from it and not screw up in the same way again. How am I gonna work in the film industry, or any industry at all, if this keeps happening over and over and over again. Why can't I fix myself?

Snake, remember, not everyone is able to find success at your age. Not to mention it's a challenging time for you, you're struggling in college and about your SRS. It's normal to feel stressed. Take a deep breath, have a glass of water and tell yourself you're doing great. You're in a circumstance that makes anyone crumble, so it's best to remember you're not alone and are doing better than most people would in this regard

 

[Professor Pumpkaboo]

How on earth did pictures die again?

 

[PsySmasher]

I'm 20 years old. I should be more competent than this. I should be able to pass my classes fine. If I screw up I should be able to learn from it and not screw up in the same way again. How am I gonna work in the film industry, or any industry at all, if this keeps happening over and over and over again. Why can't I fix myself?

Remember my 1st point? Panicking makes everything worse.

I know it’s hard to remain calm right now, but you need to be in order to make any progress.

Take deep breaths, assess where you are right now and figure out what you need to do to fix it.

 

[Deleted member]

I'll probably hook her up with a place to stay in the meantime. She realizes that it's abusive, but she's freaked out about going to people with it for some reason. I've got people I trust who she can stay with for the next week or two.

I'm probably not gonna confront him about it directly. That feels like an awful idea, mostly because I would probably lose my cool and a lot of **** can go wrong that I don't wanma deal with.

I feel like leaving a tip or just straight up going to the cops is the best idea. I'll have to figure out the best way to do so, however

That is a good idea. Go talk to the police and your parents about it, and keep her safe from him.

 

[Hat N' Clogs]

Y'all feeling pretty betrayed and also kinda fishing for advice and I use this forum for venting already so I'ma just dump it

There's this dude I've known since I was fifteen. Me and him are really good friends, and I mean really good friends. I'm saying this completely unironically, I would literally trust him with my life

Anyways it turns out he beats his girlfriend

And I have no ****ing clue what to do. I don't know where to take it, I don't know how I'm supposed to handle it, and so far I'm the only person she's told and I'm kinda freaking out

I know for a fact that she's being hurt. She showed me the bruises. There's no benefit of the doubt here

Now I usually wouldn't be conflicted about anything. But the thing is is that she's insisting I don't go to the law or tell anyone and she's freaking out about even telling me in the first place and I have no clue what the hell I'm supposed to do in this situation

I'm hella gonna do something, I'm not just gonna stand by

Can't exactly talk to her parents. I haven't known her for long, but I know she's estranged

Confronting him myself seems like a bad idea

I was thinking about leaving a tip for the law or investigators or something. I gotta look into that

Yeah, that's good you want to do something about it.

The worst thing you can do is do absolutely nothing.

But confronting him face to face, even in a group, is a bad idea. If you confront him alone, with him abusing his girlfriend...then he could turn violent on you too. And if you go in a group, strength in numbers yes...but even if he doesn't attack you then, then he could easily take out that anger on his girlfriend for being "discovered."

Anonymous tip is best. Even though she said that she doesn't want you to go to the police, the best thing to do is head in with a few other people that you trust with your whole heart and leave an anonymous tip for them. That way, the police can know about it and help her asap while also avoiding giving yourself attention at the same time.

 

[Deleted member]

I'm 20 years old. I should be more competent than this. I should be able to pass my classes fine. If I screw up I should be able to learn from it and not screw up in the same way again. How am I gonna work in the film industry, or any industry at all, if this keeps happening over and over and over again. Why can't I fix myself?

Talk to your teacher on how you can do good.
If you begin to fail, try studying more often. If you study more, then you will be more likely to remember questions.

 

[Deleted member]

After that Aqua stage, Pyra's breasts and Climax...
I really do not want more disturbing stages.

Aqua and Pyra, dusturbing?
Weakling.

 

[Teeb147]

I'm 20 years old. I should be more competent than this. I should be able to pass my classes fine. If I screw up I should be able to learn from it and not screw up in the same way again. How am I gonna work in the film industry, or any industry at all, if this keeps happening over and over and over again. Why can't I fix myself?

I knew tons of people who flunked classes. It can happen especially when you havent connected to your raison de vie for them. If you're motivated for that industry, then you'll take your lessons (including from your mistakes) and try your best to get better. Everyone has some things that're harder for them than others. The more you learn about yourself the easier it is to change directions based on what would work best for you.

In example, some careers are more flexible than others and dont need as much discipline. But it still helps a lot to stick to your motivation for wanting to get better with them. If youre just 20, then it's really normal to mess a few things up on the way.

 

[Coricus]

Aqua and Pyra, dusturbing?
Weakling.

What if I told you Aqua was twerking?

 

[SnakeFighter64]

Snake, remember, not everyone is able to find success at your age. Not to mention it's a challenging time for you, you're struggling in college and about your SRS. It's normal to feel stressed. Take a deep breath, have a glass of water and tell yourself you're doing great. You're in a circumstance that makes anyone crumble, so it's best to remember you're not alone and are doing better than most people would in this regard

Remember my 1st point? Panicking makes everything worse.

I know it’s hard to remain calm right now, but you need to be in order to make any progress.

Take deep breaths, assess where you are right now and figure out what you need to do to fix it.

Thank you. I'll drink some water and try to calm down.

 

[DaybreakHorizon]

Confront him about it. Make him know that beating his girlfriend is not right.

If only it were ever that easy.

"Hey, maybe don't beat up your girlfriend, that's not cool."
"Oh **** you right. My bad man."
"It's cool, just don't do it again."
"Yeah definitely not."

These issues are often a lot more complex and tend to involve some sort of psychological trauma on the part of the abuser. It's difficult to parse that out in one confrontation or discussion, and any sort of confrontation has to be handled delicately or else you risk worse treatment for the abused. If @faygoshill doesn't feel comfortable with that I'm not going to recommend it.

 

[Deleted member]

Did you not here me say that my parents will make ME pay for the class if I fail. These courses cost thousands of dollars that I will never be able to pay back. All the money from my job will go to it so goodbye any type of hobbies or extra grocery money.

Well you never specified how much money the classes would cost nor how much money you have so I didn't know you weren't able to do any of those.

I guess I would suggest to do what Psy suggested in this post here:

Remember my 1st point? Panicking makes everything worse.

I know it’s hard to remain calm right now, but you need to be in order to make any progress.

Take deep breaths, assess where you are right now and figure out what you need to do to fix it.

Calm down as you panicking would only make things worse and assess what you did and what went wrong in order to fix it in the future.

 

[Deleted member]

If only it were ever that easy.

"Hey, maybe don't beat up your girlfriend, that's not cool."
"Oh **** you right. My bad man."
"It's cool, just don't do it again."
"Yeah definitely not."

These issues are often a lot more complex and tend to involve some sort of psychological trauma on the part of the abuser. It's difficult to parse that out in one confrontation or discussion, and any sort of confrontation has to be handled delicately or else you risk worse treatment for the abused. If @faygoshill doesn't feel comfortable with that I'm not going to recommend it.

I have changed my mind about it. Confronting him is a very bad idea.
I think the police should be notified, as I said earlier.

 

[Cutie Gwen]

Thank you. I'll drink some water and try to calm down.

If it's any consolation, I flunked out in my business classes solely due to bad luck with my internships forcing me to start another year, paying for the year and having to take exams all over again so I know how you feel

 

[Ramen Tengoku]

Smashboards got wicked slow for a couple minutes there, yet my other tabs were loading just fine

Was it just me, or were all of you experiencing this as well?

 

[SnakeFighter64]

I knew tons of people who flunked classes. It can happen especially when you havent connected to your raison de vie for them. If you're motivated for that industry, then you'll take your lessons (including from your mistakes) and try your best to get better. Everyone has some things that're harder for them than others. The more you learn about yourself the easier it is to change directions based on what would work best for you.

In example, some careers are more flexible than others and dont need as much discipline. But it still helps a lot to stick to your motivation for wanting to get better with them. If youre just 20, then it's really normal to mess a few things up on the way.

I definitely know where my passion is. And I actually do very well in classes related to it. It's my general education requirements where I seam to constantly screw up

 

[Deleted member]

Smashboards got wicked slow for a couple minutes there, yet my other tabs were loading just fine

Was it just me, or were all of you experiencing this as well?

I have been experiencing this for a while now.

 

[Deleted member]

God. This is so wack

I never thought that I would ever be in a situation like this but here I am

Thanks for the advice though, everyone. Not boutta just stand by and do nothing

I just don't feel comfortable going to him personally, mostly because I'm ****ing seething. I know I'd probably end up losing my cool, and I don't want to do something that I might regret.

It just feels unreal that he would be so... reprehensible. He's such a nice, sweet guy. It doesn't feel like he would pull some bs like this

Guess it just goes to show that you never truly know someone.

 

[Metal Shop X]

Smashboards got wicked slow for a couple minutes there, yet my other tabs were loading just fine

Was it just me, or were all of you experiencing this as well?

Oh, it isn't just me?

I was wondering if something was wrong with my internet again, but guess not.

 

[Deleted member]

Smashboards got wicked slow for a couple minutes there, yet my other tabs were loading just fine

Was it just me, or were all of you experiencing this as well?

yeah crashboards was being a thing again for a bit

 

[Deleted member]

It just feels unreal that he would be so... reprehensible. He's such a nice, sweet guy. It doesn't feel like he would pull some bs like this

Aww, now I am sad.
I hope things work out for you very well, and his girlfriend stops getting harmed.
Same with you, SnakeFighter64 .
And you are welcome.

 

[SnakeFighter64]

You know what's lame. A single character, a stage, and 11 songs costing $6, and a single Plant by himself costing $5. I can't remember the pricing of the Smash 4 DLC, but I'm pretty sure Mewtwo, Lucas, Roy, and Corrin were cheaper than that.\

 

[Teeb147]

I definitely know where my passion is. And I actually do very well in classes related to it. It's my general education requirements where I seam to constantly screw up

Ah yeah. I'm familiar with that. I think that even though it's harder to tie it in to your passion, just knowing that it's part of the process for it too can help some motivation, and sometimes there's useful stuff or skills from those classes too, so there's still good value in them.

As for paying back money, there should always be leeway, just like loans, to make plans that are more comfortable for you. You're an adult now so you get to respect yourself enough to try and make arrangements that leave you room to wiggle your feet (your hobbies, etc). Of course, it's not always easy situations, but it's worth standing up for some of what you deserve when you can too, within reason.

 

[Deleted member]

You know what's lame. A single character, a stage, and 11 songs costing $6, and a single Plant by himself costing $5. I can't remember the pricing of the Smash 4 DLC, but I'm pretty sure Mewtwo, Lucas, Roy, and Corrin were cheaper than that.\

Prices are pretty much the same as 4 sans spirits. Corrin was 5$. Bayo, Ryu and Cloud were 6$ and lets not start with Cloud's 2 songs.

 

[Schnee117]

You know what's lame. A single character, a stage, and 11 songs costing $6, and a single Plant by himself costing $5. I can't remember the pricing of the Smash 4 DLC, but I'm pretty sure Mewtwo, Lucas, Roy, and Corrin were cheaper than that.\

Bayo, Ryu and Cloud cost $6 each
Corrin was $5
Roy, Mewtwo and Lucas were $4 each.

 

[Deleted member]

You know what's lame. A single character, a stage, and 11 songs costing $6, and a single Plant by himself costing $5. I can't remember the pricing of the Smash 4 DLC, but I'm pretty sure Mewtwo, Lucas, Roy, and Corrin were cheaper than that.\

edit: pff nvm

t'was wrong

 

[Ramen Tengoku]

I have been experiencing this for a while now.

Oh, it isn't just me?

I was wondering if something was wrong with my internet again, but guess not.

yeah crashboards was being a thing again for a bit

Hmmm... Smashboards must just be acting up again. It seems to happen every once in a while, cause this isn't the first time I've experienced this.

Nice to hear that it wasn't just me, was just checking to make sure. Thanks for the feedback