D
Deleted member
Guest
aw dudeJust... lots of stuff happening.
And for some reason, being on here has made me feel more lonely recently. Unrelated to all the stuff I’m PMing about but because of my OCD and the fact y’all make it blatantly clear that I’m welcome here, whenever I don’t get the reaction or attention I’m expecting I end up being thrown for a loop... a bad OCD feedback loop.
Don’t get attention > feel bad about it > feel bad about feeling bad about it > feel bad about feeling bad about feeling bad about it
Ad infinitum
I don’t really deserve the kindness cause behind the scenes I’m just a huge baby who thinks I deserve to command attention and pretends like I’m some kind of moral obelisk for a bunch of people on a gaming forum
It’s why I wanted so badly to be a mod, it’s why I thrive in leadership, it’s why I have led several communities... I have such a god damn shallow ego that I need to be in a position like that to feel like I have even some kind of worth to the community
I don’t deserve any of that
listen
being a huge baby is alright and plenty excusable if you have dumb baby issues
in fact i would argue that being a dumb baby is in fact
kind of maybe only sometimes healthy on a case-by-case basis
my words aren't coming out of my brain right but what i'm saying is that i support you and validate you no matter how cheap my validation is