The Unhappy Thread

[Xivii]

I've only ever like 5 women in my life.

Just that 2 women I liked both messed with me in the same small window of time

it's starting to change my view of most women.

 

[Smooth Criminal]

The thread is for helping it's occupants, the occupants are not for helping the thread. If someone benefits from the advice, then its done its part.

It's not something that I demand be taken to heart. Its just something I think a lot of people would benefit from being reminded of, and in my experience, have benefit from it.

Cool your jets man. Your semi-sardonic outlash is unwarranted. Tame your disagreement, and reforge it to simple ojbection, rather than angry rallying.

Fair is fair. I'm beginning to think this whole thing was a misunderstanding to start with.

Sorry.

Smooth Criminal

 

[Yonder]

I feel you're trying to be a smart aleck here, so I'm just going to point out that out of 7 billion people, 50% or more are men, that's 3.5 billion, take another massive % of that that is in different countries, another massive percentage that is not the right age, and your market for meeting a suitable women is extremely, extremely small. Give or take, you probably will meet and have convos with 300-500 women in your life. Cut that down to actual in depth, we have maybe, maybe 30-50 max. Ever wonder why there's about 50 guys messaging one girl on a website instead of vice-versa? It's because there's not enough women to go around for everyone. Some men do not ever find that other person. Some try and try, and eventually die alone if they don't meet someone in their 20s to 30s range of age. They become too busy, worn out, or unattractive to find someone, and it's rare to find someone after that for love after missing that window of blossoming together throughout the earlier years and living active lives before being broken down.

So instead of being foolish and posting a statistic implying "the world is full of people to meet!" actually thinking about the realistic numbers, not the number formed by a statistic.

 

[Xivii]

I feel you're trying to be a smart aleck here, so I'm just going to point out that out of 7 billion people, 50% or more are men, that's 3.5 billion, take another massive % of that that is in different countries, another massive percentage that is not the right age, and your market for meeting a suitable women is extremely, extremely small. Give or take, you probably will meet and have convos with 300-500 women in your life. Cut that down to actual in depth, we have maybe, maybe 30-50 max. Ever wonder why there's about 50 guys messaging one girl on a website instead of vice-versa? It's because there's not enough women to go around for everyone. Some men do not ever find that other person. Some try and try, and eventually die alone if they don't meet someone in their 20s to 30s range of age. They become too busy, worn out, or unattractive to find someone, and it's rare to find someone after that for love after missing that window of blossoming together throughout the earlier years and living active lives before being broken down.

So instead of being foolish and posting a statistic implying "the world is full of people to meet!" actually thinking about the realistic numbers, not the number formed by a statistic.

Click the image for more precise statistics.

For the record, my post was not implying anything about what you concluded it to be. My point was that you are generalizing a large number of people (women) based on your experience with two. It is irrational. That is not to say I do not understand your feelings. I do. I've been there myself. However, it is still irrational. I merely hope that my post provoked you to "actually [think] about the realistic numbers."

 

[Yonder]

Click the image for more precise statistics.

For the record, my post was not implying anything about what you concluded it to be. My point was that you are generalizing a large number of people (women) based on your experience with two. It is irrational. That is not to say I do not understand your feelings. I do. I've been there myself. However, it is still irrational. I merely hope that my post provoked you to "actually [think] about the realistic numbers."

I guess to be precise, I am starting to despise women more about my age [20]. I think as you age, you become wiser and don't throw away so many opportunities in the dating world, which women will realize when men like myself stop lusting after them. The 2 women are a primary example, but I've had this happen to me by others in the past few years, which is irritating me as to how they can't take the time to politely tell me they aren't interested instead of being rude or just ignoring me. Again, I for some reason have lots of women I am not attracted to fall for me, mostly because I am kind to all women [Even if I'm starting to mistrust them]. I always take the time, every time, to tell them straight I don't want a relationship but I'd like to stay friends. I have yet to ignore one women. That's fine, they get it and most understand. When women I like don't take that time to say that to me and instead purposely ignore me, it's inconsiderate and in terrible nature. Of course, it's different from the ones that just ignore you right away from a first message online you're trying to meet. It's rude still, but at least you know they aren't interested and they may be swamped. But for a women to raise your hopes, talk to you for months, flirt and meet you, and THEN ignore you and not say anything, that is ultimately what makes me bitter towards women. Considering this is happen more than a few times, Im starting to get annoyed.

 

[GeZ]

Fair is fair. I'm beginning to think this whole thing was a misunderstanding to start with.

Sorry.

Smooth Criminal

I feel ya man. No hard feelings. You all seem alright, and I know the things I say can sometimes come off as too much.

@ Y Yonder

You just can't take umbrage toward the entire sex. It's too much. You've had/ are having bad experiences, but its not womens fault. Make the change yourself. Don't just be satisfied with them showing interest, pursue that and make sure they're serious, and drop it if not. I know it sucks to feel burned, especially in quick succession, but you've gotta have faith in love.

 

[Chronodiver Lokii]

sTRESSSSSSSssssssssssss

 

[Froggy]

So until then just ignore him, no matter how tempting it may seem.

I feel ya man. No hard feelings. You all seem alright, and I know the things I say can sometimes come off as too much.

@ Y Yonder

You just can't take umbrage toward the entire sex. It's too much. You've had/ are having bad experiences, but its not womens fault. Make the change yourself. Don't just be satisfied with them showing interest, pursue that and make sure they're serious, and drop it if not. I know it sucks to feel burned, especially in quick succession, but you've gotta have faith in love.

Don't talk about it like its all his fault. It sounds like the women he was dating were really ****ty. And I would agree that a lot of young 20s women suck. Especially those in America.

 

[Vashimus]

Actually my standards are quite high, not just limbs lol. I learned that after dating the first thing with a pulse back in grade 12. I actually require my girl to at least be athletic, intelligence, good looking, and have a personality and ambitions....and good grammar when texting.

I actually do consider myself romantic, most guys I see talk like "lol sup. haha." I actually write long sentences with emotion and wit to them. I just feel most women aren't willing to invest time to put in an actual good convo. I'm one of the few people I know that can actually talk to women without being 7 beers in like my friends.

Actually, I've given myself a title, "The King of Unrequited Love", because I actually attract a LOT of women....that I am not interested in. They usually are just not intellectual or they weigh about 200 pounds lol. So again, yes I do have standards. High ones. And then the women who I AM interested in, have no interest in me back. So basically I'm stuck right in the middle of the dating world. I refuse to drop my dating standards, yet can't achieve mine. Is a good looking intelligent women with a personality too much? I think I have those qualities, I'm entering medical studies, have a very chiseled body, and wit to boot. I expect the same.

The few times I DO find decent women, they tend to trick me into thinking they are interested and then choose to drop me at a moment's notice. I've only ever like 5 women in my life. Out of the tons I have met, that's dang small for the amount I'd consider dateable. Just that 2 women I liked both messed with me in the same small window of time, that's a lot of emotional toll.

I'm just getting so sick of women lying about having interest in me then disappearing out of no where. If they ain't interested, they should speak up at least. I would prefer that. It's under handed to just not bother and rude, and it's starting to change my view of most women.

I feel you, but don't despair. After all, dating is a numbers game. You just have to learn to take failure in stride, because staying bitter is one of the worst things that can happen for your future relationships. If things don't turn out well with a girl, just dust yourself off and say "Alright, I messed that one up," (yes, you -- a mistake was made somewhere if she's avoiding you) then look around and say, "Time to get working on finding her replacement."

If you're writing women long text messages to seem witty and interesting, stop. Texting's good for exchanging brief snippets of information without the hassle of a phone call, but not so great with showing your personality or building a connection with someone. You should only message to set up dates and nothing more. An added bonus is that this filters out women who aren't interested in you as a romantic partner and only as a texting buddy. If they want to meet in person, great! If she keeps rescheduling or canceling, then it's best to just delete the number and move on.

Enjoy the grind, buddy. Nothing worthwhile is ever easy.

 

[Yonder]

I suppose I've received some decent pieces of advice here and there, thanks guys. Now I just have to find out a way to focus myself more on my studies and weight training and away from women. I swear, my lower head controls the upper one, yeah...maybe I'm overflowing with testosterone, that's my guess. It's so difficult being enamored thanks to biology overriding my logic.

For now, I'm just going to stick to my weekly clubbing excursions and hope for the best there [Although I'm stuck to the more desolated clubs thanks to unwilling friends not wanting to go clubbing in the more exclusive joints], while sending an occasion message to women online I find appealing. Also trying to find a way to filter out bad experiences with other women [Boy is it going to be hard finding another hot girl who likes Zelda lol]. But ideally I want to find a women before I am 30, so I got 10 years, if not by then I give up and I'l just go buy a dog or something. At least I'll have my degree in 4 years with a 100k+ job, that'll help attract something nice.

I suppose I'm turning here for more advice now that my best friend left for the army on Saturday for about forever. I'll only get to see him once during Christmas a year, maybe. Kind of like my dad. Boy do they go easily.

 

[GeZ]

I feel for you man. That's rough all around. Hope things work out.

 

[Vashimus]

But for a women to raise your hopes, talk to you for months, flirt and meet you, and THEN ignore you and not say anything, that is ultimately what makes me bitter towards women. Considering this is happen more than a few times, Im starting to get annoyed.

I was just reading through your other posts I missed and saw this.

Months? Women can't wait that long, brah! Maybe you can, but like you said, most attractive girls have at least 20 other guys competing for her attention. You have to move fast with women you're interested in because they do not wait around -- they have so many options in guys, why should they? No wonder the girls are cutting contact. They meet a sexy man like yourself and are really interested in him, get excited about spending time with him, and then...nothing happens. If you were a woman, wouldn't that suck and frustrate you? I don't know if that's what's really going on since you didn't elaborate, but it sounds to me like you're blue-balling these girls.

Relationships make life a lot more enjoyable, but don't try and make it the mission of your life ("Oh man, I want to get a girl before I'm 30, else I'll become ugly and no one wants me ) You're a man. We age like wine, not milk. Women still swoon over George Clooney and he's in his 50s, and it's not just because he's famous. As long you keep taking care of yourself and looking good, you'll be fine. You're young, you still have a lot of your life ahead of you. Relax.

Also, try to cut back on clubbing and just meet women during the day. Bars and nightclubs are great for flings, but that's about it.

 

[WindozeNT]

My iPad Air's LCD finally went out. Last month, a manufacturing defect shattered the touchscreen when I pressed the home button. Eventually the touchscreen disintegrated and fell off, though because I was jailbroken (7.1.2 on Pangu), I could still control iOS with a Blutetooth keyboard and mouse (mouse control on an entirely touch-based system is more practical than you would think). Today, the LCD got a crack somewhere and became nothing but a mix of thin colored lines, black holes (where liquid crystal was leaking), and solid green or black everywhere else.
Apple said that the damage was covered under warranty for free and was a very rare defect they were aware of, but because they wouldn't profit off of it, warranty actually means nothing and they refused to replace it. I think this is illegal (according to this, it is), but I know Apple can pay their way to winning if I tried to sue.

 

[Luggy]

Hey lads, Luggy here. It's weird for me to go on a thread like this, since I'm more like a "Happy go lucky" guy.
But I want to post here something, for having a little help, talking about my fears, my sadness, my loneliness.

I'm just a normal french man, doing my everyday life like everyone else. I'm in college, and like everyone else at this period, I'm still scared about my future. And now, I'm really fearing my future. I always wanted to be a reporter, especially in video games, writing is my passion. I know it's hard to be one, but I always stick on one objective, no matter how hard it is to get. But I feel that I'm going the wrong way. Journalists nowadays are portrayed as hated people, their universe are really close minded, cut from reality. The world of journalism feels really...unhealthy. It's like a whole new world that looks selfish, only caring about the little news that will make explode the world. The world looks perverted on the outside. Maybe I'm wrong, but it looks more and more like my thoughts.
But what can I do then ? If journalism isn't my style, then what can I do ? I like writing stories, creating universes, characters and adventures. Maybe I could be a writer, writing a comics for example. But how hard can it be ? Can I live with this ? Of course not, I need something else. Maybe being a bookseller in a library for having time to create books ? I don't know. I'm just completly lost in this. My parents helps me of course, but they aren't really helpful.

The idea of creating a comic keeps running back and forth in my head, like if it was the thing I need to do. But I'm scared, scared of losing this project. Multiple times, I've tried creating stuff, related to internet stuff. For example, I wanted for a long time to write a book about the Slenderman. I had big ideas, I wanted to keep the original feeling of the character, not destroying it. The idea was a flop, with me just losing my hopes to finish the story. But I know that I have talent for writing ! I've helped creating books, where I've usually kept the book good and putting it in a good place at contests, I've even made my friends won places to go to the commemoration of the 2nd World War, seeing presidents like Obama. But all of my personal projects keeps falling appart. And it makes sad, frustrated and mostly scared for creating other projects. Right now, I have a big idea for a comics, or even a manga, but I don't want to use it because I'm scared to destroy it like other projects. Plus, for those projects, I need a drawer, an artist because I'm terrible in terms of drawing. But I don't know anybody that are great at it.

So, you now know my two big scares : futur and failed projects. What can I do for fighting those fears that keeps making me sad ? If someone knows, then tell me. If not, then it's okay, I'm happy that you've read this post from a little french man behind his computer.

But I'm not depressed, don't worry, I'm always happy. How ? Because I always remember this quote from Charlie Chaplin :
"You'll find that life is still worthwhile, if you just smile."

 

[StaffofSmashing]

Well, might as well say my things going on here.

One thing you should know about me is I'm by no means heavy (71 lbs) and not tall compared to people around me (5'). People abuse this to such an extent my peers and people around me treat me more as a rag doll to throw around and pummel than an actual person with an actual life. People in Karate will pick up and chuck me on the ground during some of my Katas or karate routines) for no reason other than their own amusement. I am a target for bullies. It wouldn't hurt or help my daily chances of getting bullied if I painted my face like a target, wore a neon shirt that said "Bully me," wore a neon, blinking sign with wan obnoxious noise above it that said "Bully me," etc. I also seem to be associated with everything negative. About a week ago when we were reviewing polynomials on algebra, and my instructor said "Don't add the exponents of the terms" or something like that, a peer of mine blurted "That's pulling an Ethan" (oh yeah, that's my name). If something goes wrong, it's apparently my fault and I get sent to the Dean (not always).
It doesn't help that both my parents are battling arm and nose cancer respectively. It isn't contagious, but it seems that since my father is a volunteer, he says it which adds fuel to the already burning fire.

Help me.

 

[Xivii]

What grade are you in, might I ask? Based on your peers behavior, it sounds like middle school. Is this so?

 

[StaffofSmashing]

What grade are you in, might I ask? Based on your peers behavior, it sounds like middle school. Is this so?

yes, at 15 I am completing my last year of middle school this year... and then I continue off to High School.

 

[Xivii]

yes, at 15 I am completing my last year of middle school this year... and then I continue off to High School.

My prediction is high school may go better for you. I don't know if it's the same in other areas, but in my experience, bullying seems to disseminate throughout high school--particularly if the upper classmen are strong leaders in the school community. Stuff like "pulling an ethan" is just so not funny once you reach a certain age.


Stay strong, my friend.

 

[StaffofSmashing]

Trust me, the day my peers mature is the day the sky turns red, considering their behavior now.
But I believe you, I'll try to make it though this.

 

[Yonder]

I was just reading through your other posts I missed and saw this.

Months? Women can't wait that long, brah! Maybe you can, but like you said, most attractive girls have at least 20 other guys competing for her attention. You have to move fast with women you're interested in because they do not wait around -- they have so many options in guys, why should they? No wonder the girls are cutting contact. They meet a sexy man like yourself and are really interested in him, get excited about spending time with him, and then...nothing happens. If you were a woman, wouldn't that suck and frustrate you? I don't know if that's what's really going on since you didn't elaborate, but it sounds to me like you're blue-balling these girls.

Relationships make life a lot more enjoyable, but don't try and make it the mission of your life ("Oh man, I want to get a girl before I'm 30, else I'll become ugly and no one wants me ) You're a man. We age like wine, not milk. Women still swoon over George Clooney and he's in his 50s, and it's not just because he's famous. As long you keep taking care of yourself and looking good, you'll be fine. You're young, you still have a lot of your life ahead of you. Relax.

Also, try to cut back on clubbing and just meet women during the day. Bars and nightclubs are great for flings, but that's about it.

That only happened to one women where I took too long. Others I moved in after a few weeks, some I've met within a week, still ignoring me afterwards.

I actually engage in lots of random flings...I can't help myself, because it helps fill the void for a relationship for me. My best bet is school...too bad out of the 32 other women in my program, 100%, Im not even kidding, 100% of the women in my nursing program are dating. That's just...no opportunity for me. Guh.

 

[GeZ]

yes, at 15 I am completing my last year of middle school this year... and then I continue off to High School.

There's a musician I think you'd really like named Ben Folds. He writes songs about his similar experiences with what you're going through. Really good, angry, tuneful stuff. Listen to this and tell me what you think:

 

[Deleted member 269706]

Still don't have the balls to tell her I like her...

 

[Yonder]

My prediction is high school may go better for you. I don't know if it's the same in other areas, but in my experience, bullying seems to disseminate throughout high school--particularly if the upper classmen are strong leaders in the school community. Stuff like "pulling an ethan" is just so not funny once you reach a certain age.


Stay strong, my friend.

This is definitely true. Bullying decreases by a lot in high school. It also helps that you have a greater range of freedom in high school, so you can schedule classes away from bullies, go hang off school grounds if you want during lunch time, stuff like that. It's still there though, just to a much lesser extent than elementary because you're not confined in one class desks away from your bullies from 7 hours a day. More like at the worst you're in the same class as a bully for an hour or so, unless you're really unfortunate and have the exact same classes as your bully. Unlikely though.

Also in high school people realize they have to start cracking down on their grades for university and stuff, instead of just goofing off in elementary.

In university, bullying is non-existent. Of course, that's when the real bully emerges...studies :S



Elementary [About grade 1-4] still remains to the day, the best moments in my entire life. I'd pay my bank account to go back to that time for a month. It'd be a vacation like no other.

 

[GeZ]

Still don't have the balls to tell her I like her...

The mentality for this is to just do it. Even if you think she'll deny you. Especially if you think she'll deny you. You've got to make effort for romance, and accept that success doesn't come without risk of failure.

And for the love of god, really and honestly just do it. That's the lesson that needs to be learned. No one benefits from it not happening. Nothing happens. The waiting will not grant you some affection. There is no wellspring of opportunity to be found. Just ask her out.

 

[Luggy]

The mentality for this is to just do it. Even if you think she'll deny you. Especially if you think she'll deny you. You've got to make effort for romance, and accept that success doesn't come without risk of failure.

And for the love of god, really and honestly just do it. That's the lesson that needs to be learned. No one benefits from it not happening. Nothing happens. The waiting will not grant you some affection. There is no wellspring of opportunity to be found. Just ask her out.

In general :

 

[Chronodiver Lokii]

This is definitely true. Bullying decreases by a lot in high school. It also helps that you have a greater range of freedom in high school, so you can schedule classes away from bullies, go hang off school grounds if you want during lunch time, stuff like that. It's still there though, just to a much lesser extent than elementary because you're not confined in one class desks away from your bullies from 7 hours a day. More like at the worst you're in the same class as a bully for an hour or so, unless you're really unfortunate and have the exact same classes as your bully. Unlikely though.

Also in high school people realize they have to start cracking down on their grades for university and stuff, instead of just goofing off in elementary.

In university, bullying is non-existent. Of course, that's when the real bully emerges...studies :S



Elementary [About grade 1-4] still remains to the day, the best moments in my entire life. I'd pay my bank account to go back to that time for a month. It'd be a vacation like no other.

i wiiiiish that i could say this is true
but bullying exists no matter where you go in some way shape or form. just because you have a bigger number next to your age on identification information doesnt mean that you are suddenly ~immune to bullying~. but hell, thats okay. because that bigger number means you have had more life experiences and can probably deal with it better.

I know people (and have experience) who have had bully roommates, classmates that make life hell, coworkers that are just plain bullies, and random people that just have a bone to pick with the world. And at university level, bullies can disguise themselves as friends still. I saw it happen to some poor shmuck who thought he was in this group of friends. They were mean to him and gossiped behind his back. And sadly, i cant say i intervened (because this kid and I didnt see eye to eye ourselves...), but it was annoying to see bullying with almost adults.

My own friend group tried to bully a close friend away at the whims of one person (i still dont understand why....but the rest of the group was kind of meat riding one kid with a huge attitude problem lol). The entire group would leave her out of parties, gossip about her, talk bad, but act like everything was totally cool. 'hey lokii dont tell her about this. lokii shes terrible to her bf shes a terrible person blah blah blah' (her bf had an alcohol problem and she asked him to try to drink less and go out less because he would come home and scream at her. the guys were upset he couldnt go drinking with them in the middle of the work week. they have since broken up) and they never ever discussed issues with her. Their mistake was not realizing they were badmouthing my closest female friend at school (hard to come by in a major with 90% dudes. she basically became my big sister).

Bullies. They never go away. You just learn to deal with them better. And as an adult, you get the ability to call them on their **** (in some cases).

 

[Deleted member 269706]

The mentality for this is to just do it. Even if you think she'll deny you. Especially if you think she'll deny you. You've got to make effort for romance, and accept that success doesn't come without risk of failure.

And for the love of god, really and honestly just do it. That's the lesson that needs to be learned. No one benefits from it not happening. Nothing happens. The waiting will not grant you some affection. There is no wellspring of opportunity to be found. Just ask her out.

So am I supposed to just walk up and be like "hey, I like you." or what? I don't get this stuff, I never have.

 

[Yonder]

i wiiiiish that i could say this is true
but bullying exists no matter where you go in some way shape or form. just because you have a bigger number next to your age on identification information doesnt mean that you are suddenly ~immune to bullying~. but hell, thats okay. because that bigger number means you have had more life experiences and can probably deal with it better.

I know people (and have experience) who have had bully roommates, classmates that make life hell, coworkers that are just plain bullies, and random people that just have a bone to pick with the world. And at university level, bullies can disguise themselves as friends still. I saw it happen to some poor shmuck who thought he was in this group of friends. They were mean to him and gossiped behind his back. And sadly, i cant say i intervened (because this kid and I didnt see eye to eye ourselves...), but it was annoying to see bullying with almost adults.

My own friend group tried to bully a close friend away at the whims of one person (i still dont understand why....but the rest of the group was kind of meat riding one kid with a huge attitude problem lol). The entire group would leave her out of parties, gossip about her, talk bad, but act like everything was totally cool. 'hey lokii dont tell her about this. lokii shes terrible to her bf shes a terrible person blah blah blah' (her bf had an alcohol problem and she asked him to try to drink less and go out less because he would come home and scream at her. the guys were upset he couldnt go drinking with them in the middle of the work week. they have since broken up) and they never ever discussed issues with her. Their mistake was not realizing they were badmouthing my closest female friend at school (hard to come by in a major with 90% dudes. she basically became my big sister).

Bullies. They never go away. You just learn to deal with them better. And as an adult, you get the ability to call them on their **** (in some cases).

I suppose so then. I'm going purely off my experiences, I haven't been bullied since grade 8. After I wasn't a freshman in high school...it just suddenly stopped [although other life problems most numerous in amount took place instead starting grade 12 mainly]. Sorry to hear it still happens to others though.

 

[Falconv1.0]

I suppose so then. I'm going purely off my experiences,

Yeah we could tell.

 

[GeZ]

So am I supposed to just walk up and be like "hey, I like you." or what? I don't get this stuff, I never have.

Ask them on a date. Something interactive. Movies or dinner are not advised, actually. Something adventurous. A hike maybe. The point is dynamic. Involving interaction between the two of you.

Getting there is just asking. Say "do you want to go on a date with me" and don't freak out. There's only two outcomes. One is a date, and the other is a learning experience, and then you can move on with your life and find other people you're romantically interested in. This solution is almost all encompassing, but the outlying situations are so rare they're not worth mentioning.

 

[Yonder]

Yeah the movies or dinner sucks for a date. In movie you can't talk, at dinner you can hardly talk . A hike is a fantastic first date. The mall isn't bad either, although I hate going to those seeing as how I work in one.

 

[MewtwoMaster2002]

I am trying to apply for an assistant language teacher program, and the whole application package must be mailed together by Friday at 5PM. I was told I'd get my last letter of rec by today in the mail...it hasn't arrived. Since I have work tomorrow at 3:30, I'm hoping I can get it at least 45 minutes before that so that I can do express mail. If not, all my effort to put everything together went to waste. I'm upset the letter did not come today...

 

[Chinaux]

I've been so emotionally destroyed by women lately I'm starting to feel misogynistic. It's absolutely amazing how so many of them will build you up so much only to bring you down at a drop of a hat. "Oh women must be lining up the block to be with you, you're just so hot and amazing! I'd love to go on a cosplay date sometime!" *One date later* "lol" "Ok" "nm".
"Oh I trust you so much, I would trust you with anything!" Oh, you're moving away? Too far to hang with now, this won't work".
"You seem really down to earth and interesting! I'm glad you messaged me!" "Nvm, I don't think I'm interested in you afterall"

They drive me insane...yet I spend too much time thinking about women. I suppose the only solutions are clubbing every weekend hoping for quick flings [my current situation] Or hoping to find a decent women. Pff.

Honestly dude, just listen to my advice.

Don't give a **** about the girl until there's actually something, as in as soon as you start getting feelings for a girl, don't turn it into a crush. Just keep talking to her normally, and look for signs that she'd be interested in you. As soon as you "crush" on a girl, you're most likely going to **** up. Trust me, whenever you crush on a girl, you start to think about her too much, and start thinking of dumb acts to do by her, and it's just going to not end well for you. See it as you'd start a relationship with her, but keep it on a not really friends but not really dating level.

I can try to explain this better if you need me to. Basically what I want to say is even if you have bad times dating, you still need to realize that you two never had much in the first place if it didn't work out.
Whenever I see a cute girl in class, I just talk to her. This may be obvious but a lot of guys think they can just be approached by girls, and 90% of the time they won't be approached by the ones they want.
After I've been acquainted with them, I keep it on a friendly level. The friendzone doesn't exist. It just means the girl wasn't interested in dating you. Nothing more. You can be as awkward as Michael Cera and still manage to get girls. It's all about how interested they are in you, and if they aren't, then who cares? Not you. Just move on and find another girl. It's not hard. I see getting denied as a lesson to me. I ask myself, what did I do wrong? What signs of uninterest did she show? etc.
Also, I try to be as uninterested in girls as I can, making it easier to not care initially.


Girls are mean, man. Don't let it get to you.

Yeah the movies or dinner sucks for a date. In movie you can't talk, at dinner you can hardly talk . A hike is a fantastic first date. The mall isn't bad either, although I hate going to those seeing as how I work in one.

Dinner, hardly talking? please be trolling, man. Dinner dates are great. You can talk plenty.

But for a women to raise your hopes, talk to you for months, flirt and meet you, and THEN ignore you and not say anything, that is ultimately what makes me bitter towards women.

Make your move sooner. Girls will see you as a friend if you wait too long, and then it's really strange for them when you all of the sudden want to start something more. You should keep it sort of on a flirty level with them, so she sort of sees you as a flirt, not a friend.

Well, might as well say my things going on here.

One thing you should know about me is I'm by no means heavy (71 lbs) and not tall compared to people around me (5'). People abuse this to such an extent my peers and people around me treat me more as a rag doll to throw around and pummel than an actual person with an actual life. People in Karate will pick up and chuck me on the ground during some of my Katas or karate routines) for no reason other than their own amusement. I am a target for bullies. It wouldn't hurt or help my daily chances of getting bullied if I painted my face like a target, wore a neon shirt that said "Bully me," wore a neon, blinking sign with wan obnoxious noise above it that said "Bully me," etc. I also seem to be associated with everything negative. About a week ago when we were reviewing polynomials on algebra, and my instructor said "Don't add the exponents of the terms" or something like that, a peer of mine blurted "That's pulling an Ethan" (oh yeah, that's my name). If something goes wrong, it's apparently my fault and I get sent to the Dean (not always).
It doesn't help that both my parents are battling arm and nose cancer respectively. It isn't contagious, but it seems that since my father is a volunteer, he says it which adds fuel to the already burning fire.

Help me.

As a Junior in High School, I've dealt with what you've done recently.

Honestly middle schoolers are just extremely edgy kids. They're all assholes and there's not much that's going to change that. Assuming you have a group of friends that you sort of clique with, just stick close to them. When I was in middle school I got picked on just as much as the next guy, but honestly I came to terms that I don't care what other people think of me, and I'm not going to let them limit how I live my life. Sure, it sucks getting picked on for something you can't change, but in all honesty, it's something everyone deals with.

It'll get better buddy

 

[Deleted member 269706]

Well, might as well say my things going on here.

One thing you should know about me is I'm by no means heavy (71 lbs) and not tall compared to people around me (5'). People abuse this to such an extent my peers and people around me treat me more as a rag doll to throw around and pummel than an actual person with an actual life. People in Karate will pick up and chuck me on the ground during some of my Katas or karate routines) for no reason other than their own amusement. I am a target for bullies. It wouldn't hurt or help my daily chances of getting bullied if I painted my face like a target, wore a neon shirt that said "Bully me," wore a neon, blinking sign with wan obnoxious noise above it that said "Bully me," etc. I also seem to be associated with everything negative. About a week ago when we were reviewing polynomials on algebra, and my instructor said "Don't add the exponents of the terms" or something like that, a peer of mine blurted "That's pulling an Ethan" (oh yeah, that's my name). If something goes wrong, it's apparently my fault and I get sent to the Dean (not always). It doesn't help that both my parents are battling arm and nose cancer respectively. It isn't contagious, but it seems that since my father is a volunteer, he says it which adds fuel to the already burning fire.

Help me.

Hey bud, hang in there...I know what that's like, trust me, in my 8th grade year I was 5'1, 80lbs, long hair (a bit past shoulder length), not a lot of friends, always too nervous to say anything...the athletic kids always poked fun at me, and I got pushed around a lot, no one took me seriously. Life at home wasn't much better either, usually just went to the computer and did whatever I did back then as soon as I got home. Heh, one time a substitute teacher mistook me for a girl (in 7th grade actually), I got crap for that for like 2-3 years. But you know, it gets better. I mean, it took a long time, but it did get better and it still is getting better. I started working out (just using free weights in my basement for a while, didn't get big, but I did put on some weight), went out and made some new friends (in several different groups), taught myself how to play guitar (I'm not good, but hey, it's for me, not for anyone else), and basically learned how to stop caring about a lot of things. I know that what you're going through is different that what I went through, but take it from a guy whose been in a similar set of shoes...it gets better. Middle school was easily the worst 3 years of schooling for me. Freshman year in high school wasn't that great either, but it was necessary for me to get where I am today. I guess if there's anything else I should add, it's that high school is a totally different environment. Don't go in there close-minded, try to be open to new ideas, willing to meet new people (no matter how weird they seem), and don't be discouraged by your past. In time, you'll grow more comfortable with who you are and you'll be a happier person. And remember: when life rawks you, RAWK back.

 

[Chinaux]

I didn't take my own advice and now I have oneitis for this girl.
I can talk to literally anyone except her. To make it harder, she's new this year from a different country, and to add to my misfortune it's a non-English speaking country.

But at least I'm talking to her tomorrow. I hopefully won't all of the sudden get autism and mess it up. Keep my fingers crossed

 

[SomewhatMystia]

Good luck, @ Chinaux !

Also relatively minor complaint, but I think I'm developing a cold. I don't get sick often, but when I do, it *absolutely* sucks.

 

[XPyromanicX]

I had something horrible happen to Monday, my phone got stolen. In my Algebra class I had just gotten up to get something and had left my phone on my desk. When I returned my phone was gone. I was pretty upset about this and on Tuesday I couldn't seem to enjoy my day as much as I wanted to. On Wednesday I was constantly thinking about who could have taken my phone. And then I saw a phone in the hands of a girl who's phone was suspiciously looked like my stolen phone. So on Thursday, I finally got a good look at the front of the suspicious phone and it looked exactly like my phone! But then I realized something, I have no proof of this phone being mine. I talked to my Mother about it and she told me to let it go. So this is my slump. Knowing that my stolen phone is right behind me( Because I'm convinced that girl took my phone) but not ever being to be able to do a thing about it. My parent did get a new phone for me and it actually doing a good job at doing what the old phone did but I don't know. It probably me talking as the wound is still fresh. I'm going to miss that thing.

 

[Chinaux]

Unhappy
Had a good 30 minutes to talk to her, and I didn't

Don't know why though

 

[evmaxy54]

Unhappy
Had a good 30 minutes to talk to her, and I didn't

Sis y u du dis ;_; </3

 

[BombsOnBombs]

If it's not working out with women you have to slow down and look for more interesting women.

It's real easy to get ****ed over when your prerequisite for dating is that they have to have all their limbs.

Slow down, don't blame women, become a bit more romantic.

Also, if one says you're down to earth as a compliment, or you meet a girl that you think is down to earth, drop them. Relationships are supposed to be turbulent and gut wrenching and a little scary. Starting one off of the understanding that you're both calm and collected is a recipe for a boring, disassociated, snooze fest.

When all of that doesn't work, try not looking for women anymore. I don't mean to go bat for the other team or anything, but just stop worrying about women entirely.

I've had nothing but success with women when I stopped actually seeking them out. Chicks dig self sufficiency and a sense of self worth, which will come naturally when you just be a full-grown, bad-ass man. Be the boss that you are and they'll find their way to you, chasing them is pointless.