The Unhappy Thread

[Rie Sonomura]

Yep. Never trust job offers from the Internet...especially ones that offer work from home. Also, it's best to research the company before you even think about replying. I've had some offers and replies that seemed fishy, and after researching them, I never replied again.

The funny thing is that I did in fact research them and couldn't find any complaints. I guess they're one of "those" companies that goes out of their way to delete negative reviews and such.

 

[SomewhatMystia]

When in doubt (or even when not in doubt), do a google search for 'CompanyName scam' or something similar. That tends to be pretty reliable, at least from my experience.

 

[Smooth Criminal]

Oh, a little addendum to tack on to my previous point, @ Rie Sonomura :

If your Mom's casting shade in your general direction about this, don't let it overwhelm/defeat you. Go about your business as usual. Sure, it's probably by her good graces/aegis that you live under, but you're a grown woman (one with a certification and/or degree under her belt, it sounds like). Stand firm, and be diplomatic. Accept the admonition for what it is (hopefully well-meaning) and accept it. Don't internalize it; merely acknowledge that it's there and move past it.

Smooth Criminal

 

[Sarki Soliloquy]

I'm aware that the impression you get from me on Smashboards makes me seem like a goofy, eloquent, & high-strung person. But people are multifaceted after all. On a good day, you could just skim down this thread and everyone sounds like they want to force you to sympathize with them. I'm having personal gripes of my own and I wish someone would listen.

Everyday, I feel functionally depressed. It's combined of many problems. But right now, the strongest is that I have no friends.

Not even acquaintances or people I refer to as friends from college fit the mark. It was just last year where I moved from my hometown, and thus leaving a huge margin of people I've known behind. All I have left is my family.

I tried keeping in touch with my best childhood friend. He's one of those people who loves me like a brother. Except he's suddenly dropped contact with me for reasons unknown. He's off to college and has his own friends too.

I also find myself excessively fantasizing and imagining my ex-girlfriend, which just makes me unnecessarily covet her memory. I have no logical reason to be loathing her. Maybe it's some sort of placebo coping mechanism.

I'll be going back to college this fall. I'll see a lot of the same old faces again. But I still remain awkwardly distant to them on a personal level. I have all those like-minded strangers around me and I still feel unwanted.

I guess what you can take away from all that is an abscence of love AND meaning to live. It's not that I need to have a bunch of people revolving around me. It's just that having no connections and pending obligations (e.g., college), which make me resort to recluseness.

You know, I have all this leisure time like it's an extension of my childhood. Everyday I'm free to play games, draw, watch anime, be on Smashboards, etc. But as I enjoy these things, something inside just feels very off. Every game, anime, and book feels numb to me. Just drawing, reading, and getting the motivation to write become painstaking work. I'm surrounding myself with these pleasures just to shelter myself from my inner problems.

I may think, sound, and look straight-faced, but inside I'm screaming for someone to drag me out from my gripes, console me like a crying baby, and support me to regain my passions. Maybe then I'll devote to my calling in life.

 

[Glyphoscythe]

I'm aware that the impression you get from me on Smashboards makes me seem like a goofy, polite, & high-strung person. But people are multifaceted after all. On a good day, you could just skim down this thread and everyone sounds like they want to force you to sympathize with them. I'm having personal gripes of my own and I wish someone would listen.

Everyday, I feel functionally depressed. It's combined of many problems. But right now, the strongest is that I have no friends.

Not even acquaintances or people I refer to as friends from college fit the mark. It was just last year where I moved from my hometown, and thus leaving a huge margin of people I've known behind. All I have left is my family.

I tried keeping in touch with my best childhood friend. He's one of those people who loves me like a brother. Except he's suddenly dropped contact with me for reasons unknown. He's off to college and has his own friends too.

I also find myself excessively fantasizing and imagining my ex-girlfriend, which just makes me unnecessarily covet her memory. I have no logically reason to be loathing her. Maybe it's some sort of placebo coping mechanism.

I'll be going back to college this fall. I'll see a lot of the same old faces again. But I still remain awkwardly distant to them on a personal level. I have all those like-minded strangers around me and I still feel unwanted.

I guess what you can take away from all that is an abscence of love AND meaning to live. It's not that I need to have a bunch of people revolving around me. It's just that having no connections and pending obligations (e.g., college), which make me resort to recluseness.

You know, I have all this leisure time like it's an extension of my childhood. Everyday I'm free to play games, draw, watch anime, be on Smashboards, etc. But as I enjoy these things, something inside just feels very off. Every game, anime, and book feels numb to me. Just drawing, reading, and getting the motivation to write become painstaking work. I'm surrounding myself with these pleasures just to shelter myself from my inner problems.

I may think, sound, and look straight-faced, but inside I'm screaming for someone to drag me out from my gripes, console me like a crying baby, and support me to regain my passions. Maybe then I'll devote to my calling in life.

Need friends, huh...

When I was in college, it took me longer than I'd care to admit to break out of my shell. I was damn shy and only hung out with a tiny handful of people. However, after destroying said shell, I met some of the coolest people in the universe. The friends I met my senior year of undergrad are top tier friends. I like them way more than most everybody I grew up with in highschool. Just my humble experience. I don't know what other demons you're wrestling with, but I can tell you I really regret being a recluse for as long as I was.

I won't barrage you with unsolicited advice, but ask away if you want. I'm all ears. *points to avatar* (get it? I'm a rabbit!)

 

[StaffofSmashing]

Well, let's just jeep this short.
I'm heading to a new school! Yay... No, not yay. It'd one of those fancy schools with the rich kids and brainiacs. I'm a lazy person. It stinks. But this isn't the only part: Cancer is my real battle.

Literally a couple of hours before my school got out, we were at the ceremony. Our parents were in the audience, we did the stereotypical diplomas and stuff. When the ceremony ended, we still went back to class to gather our things, and someone shut the door on my Dad's arm, where he broke it over 40 years ago. Somehow cancer accessed the arm at that point and the damage cause by the slam "awoke" it in a sense. Now he has a titanium rod in his arm, he's getting radiated and... GAH!

 

[PsychoIncarnate]

I've realized life has no meaning, yet for some reason I'm suppose to care about continuing it

 

[Nat Perry]

I don't know what the hell I'm doing or what I'm supposed to be doing. I am losing faith in reason, logic, religion, and philosophy...and there's no reason for me to be unhappy but for some odd reason I am. Sometimes I feel like things need to make sense, but sometimes I don't care about that and just want to feel things out, but it all feels wrong.

I'm just depressed. Mentally. I don't cry. I'm not especially sad. Just a numb sadness and I hate it. I want to feel alive but I feel dead. Yes I have dark and negative thoughts but I can't find anything of substance to shut out those voices. I shouldn't be like this, deep down I know I shouldn't, but for some reason I am and it just makes me angry.

I find it hard to concentrate on schoolwork because of this. I find myself coping by going on the Internet or playing video games, but I don't really enjoy either of those activities much. Even Smash Bros. or Mario or any games I loved in my childhood just feel dull. My passion for things has dulled as well. I don't love life, I don't love people, I just lack love, despite how I may present myself. I want to appreciate life and learn to love people and love life yet I don't know how, and because of that I find myself grasping at weird philosophies or principles or patterns that don't even make sense.

I just have zero drive to become someone. I want to make an impact on the world, but something inside is holding me down, holding me back. I haven't made a positive impact on anyone's life, and anything good I do is purely out of greed; wanting approval from friends, acquaintances, girls, or just to feel better about myself or to add to a mental list of good deeds in my mind. There's just something missing. I just need something. I just need one thing to spark my passion for life. I want to be alive again but I just don't know how. It bothers me everyday and it consumes me. I feel more emotionally vulnerable the more I numb myself up, if that makes any sense. I just don't know what I'm doing with my life, I don't want to screw it up or anything. I just need that one thing and I don't know what it is. All the problems in my life are a direct result of me missing a singular direction for my life, some guiding force or one thing to stand by on a heart level. Like, I shouldn't have these issues, yet I do, because something is missing here. All my efforts feel like they're in vain, even though that may not be the case. It's all just emptiness. I feel empty, hollow. Like a shell of who I used to be. I used to be awesome and full of happiness and joy, now it's all gone. All gone. I can hide it all I want and put on a mask or whatever but that doesn't do squat. I'm just angry and moody all the time in such a non-emotional way. I feel bound by everything I shouldn't be bound by. I feel powerless, worthless, useless. It's pitiful. I just want to have a good life, that's all. I want to be someone. But I'm not.

Because of this, I find myself celebrating my failures, which is not a good thing. Making mistakes, making fun of myself, only to make the same mistake again and repeat the process. It's toxic, it's pathetic, I know, but it keeps happening. I don't even know how to do right anymore, there's too much fog and gray and I fail to see things clearly. It's just aggravating and I've lost the will to change.

I find myself getting angry at myself for past mistakes. I find myself being vengeful towards those who have mistreated me or those who I imagine would mistreat me, and try to find snarky comebacks to use against them if I could go back in time. I'm in a state of constant worry and fear. What if I die tomorrow? What if I don't get a job? What if my brain burns out? What if I get sick and die? I can't help it, I just can't stop worrying. There's no assurance of tomorrow or my health or anything, but then again I have no hope for the future. I lack hope for everything, I just take what I am given and kinda hope for the best, which is another way of saying doing what you think you're supposed to be doing and hope the universe maybe works things out, whatever that's supposed to mean. It's just constant fear and I can't concentrate on anything. Constant fear. All the time. I just feel crippled and I don't know how to get out of this constant state of fear and worry and it's killing me inside.

With all this, I'm just stuck in a state of worrysome apathy. I don't want apathy, but it's there. I don't care. I want to care. But no matter how hard I try to care about things, deep down, I have nothing. I am nothing. It doesn't matter, why should I continue to care? I'd rather just do things I'm interested in. I just want to do what I want freely, without guilt. It's so irritating. I just feel unworthy of receiving good things when I don't give good in return. I want to care about the world and its people and everything else but I haven't an idea how to spark that. Anything good I do to people feels empty and in vain. I don't do it for them, I do it for myself. I don't care about them, I care about myself. I don't care about how they feel, I care about how I feel. This is true about 98% of the time; I can only point out a few instances in my life where maybe I was more selfless than selfish, but I'm not entirely sure about those instances either. I'm searching but until I find something I'll just be powerless and lacking true confidence, as usual.

 

[Sarki Soliloquy]

Well, let's just jeep this short.
I'm heading to a new school! Yay... No, not yay. It'd one of those fancy schools with the rich kids and brainiacs. I'm a lazy person. It stinks. But this isn't the only part: Cancer is my real battle.

Literally a couple of hours before my school got out, we were at the ceremony. Our parents were in the audience, we did the stereotypical diplomas and stuff. When the ceremony ended, we still went back to class to gather our things, and someone shut the door on my Dad's arm, where he broke it over 40 years ago. Somehow cancer accessed the arm at that point and the damage cause by the slam "awoke" it in a sense. Now he has a titanium rod in his arm, he's getting radiated and... GAH!

I'm sorry that happened to your dad. I don't know what it feels like having a loved one going through cancer treatment, but I'd imagine its a hard worry for you to live with.

I've realized life has no meaning, yet for some reason I'm suppose to care about continuing it

Don't take this the wrong way, but might I ask what's making you feel this way?

Need friends, huh...

When I was in college, it took me longer than I'd care to admit to break out of my shell. I was damn shy and only hung out with a tiny handful of people. However, after destroying said shell, I met some of the coolest people in the universe. The friends I met my senior year of undergrad are top tier friends. I like them way more than most everybody I grew up with in highschool. Just my humble experience. I don't know what other demons you're wrestling with, but I can tell you I really regret being a recluse for as long as I was.

I won't barrage you with unsolicited advice, but ask away if you want. I'm all ears. *points to avatar* (get it? I'm a rabbit!)

Thanks for the reply. Yeah, I'm recluse, but I don't commit to it because I want great friends and a meaning to live. Sometimes I imagine cutting myself off from everyone IRL for the rest of my life and creating a life for myself. But then I would only be coveting how I want friends. If you don't mind answering, what characterized your shell and what caused you to go recluse? And how did you break out of it? It would help me relate to you.

For me, college sociality ATM is way better than both of my high schools, yet I still feel too distant to get to bond with my acquaintances on a personal level. I only hung out with a handful of them outside of school once. Otherwise, I barely see them. Neither do any of them and I have a real compulsion to see eachother in the off-season. Y'know, like you would feel for a best friend.

What makes it even worse approaching them is my Aspergers and ADHD. My diagnoses wouldn't be too much of a stepping stone if I wasn't constantly contending with my demons. If you want a take away, I feel so awkward, battle-ready, and anticipating ridicule every time I engage with them, I can't be all personable. So I converse in monotone, contrived sentences. That or I show emotion in a fake way.

I have a twinge of hope in my mire though. I'm convinced that I'm suffering from a degree of clinical depression. I don't mean to come off as a hypochondriac, but it's just too damn convincing to me after I can characterize many of my symptoms by it. Yet I remain unfazed by this hope. Life's pretty much like what @ N Nat Perry 's post describes. Almost uncannily so.

 

[Glyphoscythe]

@ Sarki Soliloquy

I would say my shell was caused by a handful of things. 1. My natural shyness/quiet personality around new people. 2. Low self esteem. I really hated myself during certain periods of my life. 3. The fact that I was content just playing games by myself. 4. I started college off bonding with one person really quickly, and getting kinda clingy. For some reason, I sort of had tunnel vision and felt I had enough of a social life just hanging out with her. It prevented me from trying to meet other people. Things went south with her for a bit and it messed with my self esteem even more, so I didn't really have the courage to meet a whole lot of people.

Anyway, I learned from my stupidity and was able to slowly grow out of that. I don't think there was just one thing that made the shell break. I think what happened was that my self esteem got better after meeting other people who appreciated my presence. Once I realized that my friends really did like me, I felt much better about myself and finally figured out that I don't totally suck. Another thing that helped was not looking at the past so much and judging myself for stupid insignificant things that I did way back when. You aren't just a sum of your past experiences. You're more than that.

I'm not sure if I've talked to anybody with Asperger's in person. I may have and never realized it. I did go to highschool with someone who had adhd. He also had Tourettes. I know that's a totally different situation, but I don't think he's ever had that much trouble forming bonds and making friends. He definitely had some people picking on him in highschool, but nobody who is mature and worth your time is going to ridicule you for your condition. If they do then they aren't friend material. What I'm getting from this is that you worrying about your Aspergers is holding you back more than the Aspergers itself. In my unprofessional opinion, I think that if you're able to show your true self and your true personality around people, that you will attract worthy friends. Don't rush it. Bit by bit try to open up. I realize that's way easier said than done, but that's basically what I did.

I hope I didn't downplay your issues. There's no way I can really understand how you feel, but maybe you can draw some parallels from my experiences and use that to help yourself where it applies.

 

[LIQUID12A]

Just 2 days ago I visited a classmate who I have a crush on that entered a short term coma.

I, like my friends, am dead worried, but the doctors say no more than 2 weeks because it wasn't an overly severe injury.

And now I'm loaded with anxiety because I flat out told her(I have no idea if she's conscious or not) that I loved her.

The fact that we enter class in 2 weeks doesn't help things for me.

 

[PsychoIncarnate]

There was this girl I was trying to go out with a little more than a year ago

She hooked up with some other guy instead...

She's now married.

Even if I had gone out with her and it worked somehow, I don't think I would have married a girl knowing her for only a year.

Maybe that's my problem

 

[Agelast]

I've stopped caring. About everything. I feel like I care, but deep down, I really don't. I used to hate everyone I met one way or another, but now it's the opposite. I'm completely dead inside. I feel like all life is for me is simply existing. Contact with the one person I could never hate has been severed, and since then, I've just wanted somewhere to get this off of my chest. He was the one person who I could never criticize, but due to uncontrollable events, I can't talk to him anymore. I want to die.

 

[Holder of the Heel]

I'm going to see a psychologist on Monday, so I anticipate I might be venting here when the time comes because doing so on my Facebook seems a bit odd given that I never update the thing or message anyone there. The point is, I'm useless and sympathize with those who've been posting here about not being able to care, not that this is a recent development but rather a defining feature the past few years, maybe longer. 99% of my days are spent looking to consume entertainment in order to distract myself because I don't know what to do, how to do it, where to go, what I want there, so I'd rather not think about it or face myself. Looking face-to-face with my ugliness reveals that underneath my typically expressionless appearance, right under the skin, there's a nauseating and voice swallowing emotion that can be summoned pretty easily that I don't want to ever feel. I want things to be different, I want to love, help, fight, talk, work, all of those things, and I see everyone taking those things for granted everywhere I go, but for me it's so frightening and elusive and deep down I just want someone to sweep down and take care of all my problems with the wave of a wand even though I know that wand will never come.

 

[Game Boy Blue]

Watch 24 hours of Happy.

then think of grumpy cats reaction.

 

[KingIceSonic]

I can't swallow things like pills. I also can't have.....long things in my mouth(Like pens)too far.

HOW WILL I PLEASE MY FUTURE SUGAR DADDY

 

[Reila]

Life sucks.

 

[Sarki Soliloquy]

Spending the past day at my uncle's house in the company of my family actually helped my self-esteem. I'm sure that this is going to fade away soon when I fall back into my slump. I'll say it says a lot about the severity of my situation. If I turn out not to have any sort of depression diagnosis, I'll feel like my problems are invalidated.

@ Sarki Soliloquy

I would say my shell was caused by a handful of things. 1. My natural shyness/quiet personality around new people. 2. Low self esteem. I really hated myself during certain periods of my life. 3. The fact that I was content just playing games by myself. 4. I started college off bonding with one person really quickly, and getting kinda clingy. For some reason, I sort of had tunnel vision and felt I had enough of a social life just hanging out with her. It prevented me from trying to meet other people. Things went south with her for a bit and it messed with my self esteem even more, so I didn't really have the courage to meet a whole lot of people.

Anyway, I learned from my stupidity and was able to slowly grow out of that. I don't think there was just one thing that made the shell break. I think what happened was that my self esteem got better after meeting other people who appreciated my presence. Once I realized that my friends really did like me, I felt much better about myself and finally figured out that I don't totally suck. Another thing that helped was not looking at the past so much and judging myself for stupid insignificant things that I did way back when. You aren't just a sum of your past experiences. You're more than that.

I'm not sure if I've talked to anybody with Asperger's in person. I may have and never realized it. I did go to highschool with someone who had adhd. He also had Tourettes. I know that's a totally different situation, but I don't think he's ever had that much trouble forming bonds and making friends. He definitely had some people picking on him in highschool, but nobody who is mature and worth your time is going to ridicule you for your condition. If they do then they aren't friend material. What I'm getting from this is that you worrying about your Aspergers is holding you back more than the Aspergers itself. In my unprofessional opinion, I think that if you're able to show your true self and your true personality around people, that you will attract worthy friends. Don't rush it. Bit by bit try to open up. I realize that's way easier said than done, but that's basically what I did.

I hope I didn't downplay your issues. There's no way I can really understand how you feel, but maybe you can draw some parallels from my experiences and use that to help yourself where it applies.

I relate to a lot of this. I'm looking into your bit about displaying your "true personality" though. I mean, I have a lot of great qualities I never show, yet at the same time I can be discontent being myself.

As for my Aspergers, it's something I cope with enough to not be possessed by it. Living with it's really a double-edged sword of positives and negatives that would be trivial to get into here. Whenever I was in those social situations, I don't recall myself contemplating my Aspergers over how bad I was already projecting myself. Moreso, some traits exacerbate my awkwardness.

I'm going to see a psychologist on Monday, so I anticipate I might be venting here when the time comes because doing so on my Facebook seems a bit odd given that I never update the thing or message anyone there. The point is, I'm useless and sympathize with those who've been posting here about not being able to care, not that this is a recent development but rather a defining feature the past few years, maybe longer. 99% of my days are spent looking to consume entertainment in order to distract myself because I don't know what to do, how to do it, where to go, what I want there, so I'd rather not think about it or face myself. Looking face-to-face with my ugliness reveals that underneath my typically expressionless appearance, right under the skin, there's a nauseating and voice swallowing emotion that can be summoned pretty easily that I don't want to ever feel. I want things to be different, I want to love, help, fight, talk, work, all of those things, and I see everyone taking those things for granted everywhere I go, but for me it's so frightening and elusive and deep down I just want someone to sweep down and take care of all my problems with the wave of a wand even though I know that wand will never come.

It's always better to share it here than melodramatic Facebook. There's always a sum of recent posters who are experiencing the same things that make you feel not alone.

The fact that I'm aware of my entertainment consumption means I'm aware of my problems. Whatever direction you get from your help, it's always up to you to correct those realized problems and better your state of life. It could be easier said than done, but it's important to do that for yourself since that magical person never comes around to take care of you. Trust me, I've wanted that person too.

 

[Glyphoscythe]

Spending the past day at my uncle's house in the company of my family actually helped my self-esteem. I'm sure that this is going to fade away soon when I fall back into my slump. I'll say it says a lot about the severity of my situation. If I turn out not to have any sort of depression diagnosis, I'll feel like my problems are invalidated.


I relate to a lot of this. I'm looking into your bit about displaying your "true personality" though. I mean, I have a lot of great qualities I never show, yet at the same time I can be discontent being myself.

As for my Aspergers, it's something I cope with enough to not be possessed by it. Living with it's really a double-edged sword of positives and negatives that would be trivial to get into here. Whenever I was in those social situations, I don't recall myself contemplating my Aspergers over how bad I was already projecting myself. Moreso, some traits exacerbate my awkwardness.

Well hopefully some of that helped you. Obviously I can't say much about Aspergers since I have no experience with that, I was just kinda spit-balling. My brother actually works with kids who have Aspergers and the like, but a lot of what he's told me went in one ear and out the other lol.

I'm kinda scraping the bottom of the barrel now, haha. I could say cheesy things like, "Chin up!" and "Look on the bright side.", but I don't think those generic platitudes always do much (although I do think maintaining a positive attitude is important).

I'll be around, lurking. Further questions and whatnot are welcome if/when you need it.

 

[gameonion]

This seems like a pretty harmless thing I don't really need to post about, but this is called the "Unhappy Thread" after all...
So, one of my favourite YouTube-channels BrawlBRSTMs3 has just uploaded a new video. But it isn't good videogame-music, it's a message. The channel is dead. Copyright-strikes. One more strike = channel-death. He can't do anything. He needs to stop with his hobby forever, because he hasn't got any backups. This makes me really sad. Everytime I feel down, I go to my YouTube-playlist and listen to some tracks. They will all be gone now... All the people in the comments are sad too and want him to continue. Maybe he listens, maybe he does a new channel? But right now, I'm not happy at all.

 

[LeeYawshee]

I don't post here, pretty much ever because I'm always in a pretty good mood but today I had the absolute loneliest day of my life. I was going to go to a party today but none of my friends could give me a ride so I asked my girlfriend (who is currently out of state) to chat and hang out with me to which she happily agreed only to leave me completely disappointed(I still don't know the reason why). And finally, my best friend is never really around so that just adds on to my constant loneliness. The worst part is that I need social interactivity due to some issues I have and going a full day without any real company feels like falling into a year long depression to me. It's pretty sad, I know and it's stupid but I can't help but to feel that way.

 

[Sensei]

I was happy before I came on this thread, now I'm sad. It rained yesterday in LA for the first time I moved hear. That didn't really make me unhappy though, I missed the rain since I left the east coast. I'll leave this thread so I can be happy again. Hope everyone cheers up !!!

 

[Booster]

Unhappy because I spent all of my money on a Wii U that won't even be at my house until next friday at the earliest.

 

[Chronodiver Lokii]

unhappy because reasons.
just
unhappy

 

[ZeldaMaster]

Unhappy because I spent all of my money on a Wii U that won't even be at my house until next friday at the earliest.

Oh how everyone pities you....

 

[Holder of the Heel]

This is called the "Unhappy Thread", not the "Life Crisis Only Thread". Leave him be.

 

[smashbroskilla]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7X7sZzSXYs

This is for everyone that's struggling with being alone or forced to be ok with yourself.

I struggled with drinking problems after I kicked my ex girlfriend out. I have a house all to myself and work two jobs. My only pet is a tamato plant. Sometimes the struggle will make you a stronger person. That stronger person you become attracts other strong and smart people. I no longer drink and hit the gym even more. Join a club, buy a bicycle, take yourself out. Explore yourself outside of your comfort zone and you never know what you will find.

 

[Smooth Criminal]

I lost a beloved four-legged member of my family today, Abbey. She had a stroke; collapsed into an unmoving, hapless heap, right in front of my parents.

It hurts. Even when you get the news through a text message like I did, it's like you get the emotional stuffing knocked outta you.

Smooth Criminal

 

[Deleted member]

I don't know what to feel anymore, I feel completely numb.

Day in and day out my emotions swing back and forth, a childish part of me wants to try to talk to people, to make friends, to have any sort of bond, to understand what happiness feels like. But it's all meaningless, this deprived child inside of me keeps wanting me to try, to try for something that is futile, every moment of attempting joy is followed by what feels like an eternity of pain.

I see no point in trying for it anymore, every single attempt at the formation of any bond has always ended in complete failure, my hopes have been raised and crushed countless times, this part of me kept yearning for a bond, and yet a bond could never be formed.

I don't understand, people always tell me they like me or what have you and then turn around and mock me when I'm gone.

The thought of anyone telling me they care sickens me, no one cares, they never try to understand, they could never understand.

People keep telling me to "love myself" but it is impossible.

Hatred is all I have ever known, hatred of myself for the value I don't have, for how weak and pathetic I am; hatred of love, that does nothing but cloud rationality; hatred of humans, for the selfish greed which infests us all; hatred of this very existence.

What are we, but worthless trash degrading everything to waste while we wait to die?

This existence is worthless.

Everything is worthless.

Whatever happy light once existed for me has been snuffed, I am forever enshrouded in hatred, surrounded by nothing but cold darkness.

 

[PsychoIncarnate]

I lost a beloved four-legged member of my family today, Abbey. She had a stroke; collapsed into an unmoving, hapless heap, right in front of my parents.

It hurts. Even when you get the news through a text message like I did, it's like you get the emotional stuffing knocked outta you.

Smooth Criminal

I had a dog named Abbey that died just a few years ago

I had the dog since I was in the 4th grade

 

[Nat Perry]

I lack the courage and the balls to seek the truth. About the world, and myself. I fear truth like nothing else.

 

[Xivii]

I lack the courage and the balls to seek the truth. About the world, and myself. I fear truth like nothing else.

Why do you think this is the case? In other words, what is it about the truth that you fear?

 

[Claire Diviner]

Right now I'm pissed about this...

District of Columbia Court Circuit Court Hearings

Net Neutrality is dead, meaning that internet providers can block or charge for access to sites, possibly forcing some sites to pay fees.

Verizon was the one who went against the Federal Communications Commissions, claiming they should be able to do whatever to their users internet (apparently corporations > actual people, and screw you if you think they're the same).

I'm pretty pissed about it. No, I'm REALLY PISSED ABOUT IT!!!! SCREW THAT NOISE!!!!

This is just an artificial way to keep overcharged land lines alive (home phone service should be dead by now, just like telegraphs, but nope, gotta overcharge people), Cable TV and Satellite are on their way out, and Verizon wants to stop it, along with other lobbying parties, potentially including AT&T, DirecTV, Dish, Comcast, etc (although none of that is for certain).

Instead of evolving with technology and towards the internet 3.0, they're fighting back.

Seriously, imagine if telegraph or radio companies fought TV's, motion pictures, and camera's legality. That's literally what's happening, and the world wouldn't be where it is today with TV and phone services' powers fighting the internet.

They can all combine and be a part of the internet, and still make good money (not overcharging customer money) with the internet.

But nope, they gotta be greedy, and eventually, either they'll destroy America's communication chain, bomb the economy, and force America to become a country that just "drops off the map" (as well as America's allies and business partners), or (far more likely) these companies are going to get fought back on this, get destroyed, get gigantic public backlash, and eventually lose out on advancing with the future because they're too busy trying to prevent it from happening.

There's a place for 3rd party vendors in this new forthcoming age, but you gotta set your grassroots first by putting money and time into, instead of using that same money and time trying to make more money now.

Online and/or cloud streaming, networks, and communications is the future. It's just a fact. It's not as limited as 1080i TV. Heck, 1080p is on its' way out, as 2k is going to become the new standard. American television services can't even get to 1080p, sans some PPV's; why should it then be the only means of visual entertainment if its' stuck in the past=???

Seriously, my phone can do 1080p streaming. It's time to move on from these things.

And if we don't stop this, well this article could be right.

Net Neutrality and the Death of the Internet

So to get my anger out...

...SCREW YOU VERIZON FOR OPPOSING INTERNET NEUTRALITY!!!!

And screw anyone who supports this. Back in the days you are trying to keep alive we burned witches like you at the stake.

I'm so mad, I'm going to fight for the future by fighting the power.

Seriously, screw greed. If you want to see how greed turns out, watch some mob movie like Goodfellas (almost everyone either dies via assassination or goes to prison) or The Godfather series (everyone dies via assassination or heartbreak). Eventually, people who do these things get crushed, and eventually, good prevails.

I'll be goddamned... I have Comcast! The last thing I need is to pay a monthly subscription to sites, like Youtube or Facebook... maybe even Smashboards.

Like, don't they have enough money already?! Oh, of course not, what was I thinking? I mean, clearly they need more money to do more productive things for company expansion, right? *sarcasm*

 

[Icedragonadam]

I really hope this is just a rumour but Robin Williams passed away.

http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=872612

 

[R0Y]

I really hope this is just a rumour but Robin Williams passed away.

http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=872612

No, it's real...

 

[Mr.Seven]

I really hope this is just a rumour but Robin Williams passed away.

http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=872612

It's not a hoax. He really did die today.

 

[Deviddo]

I just found out. Robin Williams is my favorite actor, and this hurts a lot.

The poor guy was battling severe depression, I just wish it could've had an alternate, happier, outcome.

 

[Claire Diviner]

Williams was one of my heroes, so to hear that he passed away really hurts me. :'(

 

[Icedragonadam]

It's bad enough that a poor rabbit in my backyard was killed by a cat I regular see outside, but now this?!

 

[GunGunW]

I guess I'm not the only one upset about Robin Williams, then.