The Unhappy Thread

[Vixen]

Had a nervous breakdown, and I'm not exactly sure why, or what caused it.

The situation:

With the U of A Anime club. Post-screening, we all decided to get food. They decided on Sushi and I went along for the ride. At the restaurant, alarms set off inside my head. Something about the situation didn't seem right to me. I tried to make sense of my internal alarms. Nothing wrong with the group of people I was with. Nothing wrong with the side of town we were on, nor the restaurant we went to, either. I was just overwhelmed by a feeling of helplessness, and just wanted to go home and be away from people for the forseeable future.

I felt overly anxious, and distanced myself the group. I wanted to walk to a bus stop and just go home, but I froze up. I didn't want to raise alarms to the fact that I was walking home. I tried to get the courage to say anything. "Hey, I'm going home," anything along those lines, but I was frozen, and eventually the busses stopped running. (Only had about a 20 minute window to do this, and I froze up.)

No way to get home, since I don't have a car anymore, I felt completely defeated. I separated myself from the group further, and tried to stave off the impending panic attack. When a friend of mine noticed there was something off about me, and she asked what was wrong, I lost my voice. I wanted to say anything. Say something was wrong, that I was scared of something and I didn't know what, but nothing came out. I opened my mouth, and nothing came out. I finally just broke out in to sobs. 23 years old, and I felt smaller than a 6 year old.

 

[♖♘♗♔♕♗♘♖]

You had a random panic attack. Why are you denigrating yourself over it?

 

[Vixen]

I have very bad social anxiety. Outside of the smash community, it's extremely hard for me to socialize outside of one on one interactions, or forced interactions at work, and a bad habit of criticizing myself unfairly.

 

[Crooked Crow]

I've been having problems with narcotics and my sexuality.

Sigh. It's depressing.

 

[Froggy]

I was contacted for a job today, I think I should have been upfront and asked if the recruiter thought I would have been a good fit. Or perhaps I should have called instead of returning the e-mail. When I talking to a potential employer I feel like it's near impossible to give the perfect response.

Well if he doesn't mail me back today, I'll call him tomorrow. He'd have probably found a more preferable candidate by then but still gotta try.

 

[Jon Farron]

Went to the orthodontist today... they upgraded my wires. Mouth. Hurts. Badly. Ow.


And I am now going to have 4 teeth pulled + my wisdom teeth on the same day! yay~


>.>

 

[quote]

I feel really alone right now. It's like there's no one out there and it's scary quiet at home.

 

[PsychoIncarnate]

It's almost my birthday, I'm turning really old and I haven't done stuff everyone else does by my age. I feel behind, and it made me depressed recently.

I wouldn't be depressed if it wasn't stuff I WANTED to do, but don't seem to be able to

 

[KRDsonic]

I've finally begun checking out grief support groups. I haven't until now since I refused to accept that I need help, but considering that I've been distancing myself from everyone lately and been withdrawing myself and haven't been having much in the way of human contact other than the times I go to the grocery store or go to check my mail or pay rent and stuff, I think it'll be good for me.

On the flipside, I've at least decided on what I want to do with my life, and I have a plan now.

 

[Astraea31]

having to spend the past year in some ****ty vocational course because I was too lazy to sign up for college... at least it's almost over

 

[PsychoIncarnate]

Apparently the kids these days use the world "Filthy" like it's a good thing.

That is so weird.

Weird slang words

 

[Jon Farron]

Ikr.

I've never really understood the point of using slang. Like when everyone started using "dude" in second grade I was just like... what? Don't call me dude... I have a name o-o

Or dope... wth does that even mean? Also tight. I never understood that one. "dude those pants are tight!" No they're not... "no I mean cool" then why didn't you just say that...? e.e

 

[Falconv1.0]

Apparently the kids these days use the world "Filthy" like it's a good thing.

That is so weird.

Weird slang words

Kids can't english with words anymore.

Bazooper.

 

[INSANE CARZY GUY]

Shoutouts to puns.

Unhappy about eating a push-pop while taking a crap. I should've never

 

[Luigitoilet]

Ikr.

I've never really understood the point of using slang. Like when everyone started using "dude" in second grade I was just like... what? Don't call me dude... I have a name o-o

Or dope... wth does that even mean? Also tight. I never understood that one. "dude those pants are tight!" No they're not... "no I mean cool" then why didn't you just say that...? e.e

You sound like you might be autistic.

 

[PsychoIncarnate]

so, you hate people that have autism?

 

[Chronodiver Lokii]

I went a week or so without freaking out and it was great and I was carefree
But now I'm dealing with week-before-finals-week stress and my head hurts and stomach hurts and suddenly anxiety and I just want to curl up and sleep and forget about everything
I can't wait until next weekend....spending time with my boyfriend and going to see Anberlin on Saturday
I need this

 

[Luigitoilet]

so, you hate people that have autism?

That's an incredibly giant stretch from what I posted.

 

[Jon Farron]

You sound like you might be autistic.

What on earth?

I was talking about the first time I'd ever heard people use those words. I just thought some of them were really dumb. Like dope, tight, sick, etc.

So you think I'm autistic because I think some slang words are stupid? Wow. -.-

 

[Luigitoilet]

What on earth?

I was talking about the first time I'd ever heard people use those words. I just thought some of them were really dumb. Like dope, tight, sick, etc.

So you think I'm autistic because I think some slang words are stupid? Wow. -.-

sorry man, just trying to help.

 

[Oneupsalesman]

sorry man, just trying to help.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1w3CdcDA08c

 

[Lore]

What on earth?

I was talking about the first time I'd ever heard people use those words. I just thought some of them were really dumb. Like dope, tight, sick, etc.

So you think I'm autistic because I think some slang words are stupid? Wow. -.-

I think he was suggesting an autism-spectrum disorder (like aspergers) that makes it harder for people with it to understand social interactions as easily or the same as others. No offense was likely meant.

I'm unhappy because I can't seem to sleep. Bleh. x_x

 

[Froggy]

I was supposed to call the Unemployment Insurance office today, to try and clear up the hold on my account, but I wasn't able to because I wasn't able to reach my friend who has some of my reference documents, and even though I left a message for her to e-mail the document to me, she didn't do it. So now I'll have to wait till tomorrow to call them. I know it's just a one day difference but it's frustrating none the less, I just have to make sure to reach my friend tonight I guess.

Edit: Also a job which I think I had a real good shot at getting is a bus, when I review the cover letter I sent them and notice the few grammatical errors, I double checked that things a few times and I assumed I was being overly anal when I wanted to check it somemore. You can never be too careful with those things.

 

[127crazie]

http://www.washingtonpost.com/local...1eee-8a80-11e2-98d9-3012c1cd8d1e_gallery.html

This happened RIGHT next to my apartment complex in D.C.. This, combined with recent robberies/muggings and a fatal hit-and-run of a 20-year-old kid, all right in my neighborhood, and I really am not feeling safe recently. I ordered some pepper spray online (big whoop, right?) but I wanna just hide out in my apartment for the next while. (Unfortunately, school and work and etc. make it so I can't.)

 

[Froggy]

Graaargh. I called the unemployment office today, and I agreed to having them do a call back instead of waiting on the line. The callback did work last time, but it's still a terrible way, there is basically no room for error if I had just stayed on the damn line. I agreed to the callback so the phone line would be open in case a potential employer called for me, but even that isn't worth it. We're a bit pass the allotted time they were supposed to call me back now, the last time we did a call back they were about a half hour late so I'm kinda expecting thesame thing, but it's still a bit nervewracking.

 

[BlueXenon]

I already missed like 20 days of school from not sleeping well/colds, and my spring/summer allergies are going to come back soon so I may miss even more days.

 

[Chronodiver Lokii]

USPS didn't deliver my package today for some reason
This seems normal enough
But...

1. It's a wig. A WIG. WHY NOT JUST LEAVE THE WIG?!
2. My roommates were home all day. Like, 10 feet away from the door...THE ENTIRE DAY. THEY DIDN'T EVEN SHOW UP
3. They did NOT leave a notice that they tried to deliver. I had to check my actual online order tracker to get ANY information.

USPS has been very awful since I moved in. They deliver us our neighbor's mail DESPITE THE FACT WE HAVE A SIGN EXPLAINING THAT OUR NEIGHBOR'S HAVE A DOWNSTAIRS MAILBOX and the sheet CLEARLY LISTS OUR LAST NAMES.

SEEMS LIKE A SMALL INCIDENT BUT THEY HAVE BEEN LESS THAN SUBPAR EVER SINCE I MOVED HERE.

And the icing on the cake? I call to schedule a re-delivery. It was an automated service because it was 11pm when i called. Automated services said I could schedule, so I was excited! After the worst automated call ever, I get a message at the end: "to complete this, an agent must be available! :D CALL BACK AGAIN TOMORROW!!~"
But
What
WHATS THE POINT OF AUTOMATED SERVICESSSSSSSssssssssss

Had to reschedule online with ZERO information because they didnt give me my notice. I just want my stupid wig TT__TT

 

[Dooms]

Silly new smashboards made me forget about checking this thread until I actually need to use it... I'm just on the last page and there's stuff I wanna respond to >_<. Don't even know about the previous pages lol.

I've finally begun checking out grief support groups. I haven't until now since I refused to accept that I need help, but considering that I've been distancing myself from everyone lately and been withdrawing myself and haven't been having much in the way of human contact other than the times I go to the grocery store or go to check my mail or pay rent and stuff, I think it'll be good for me.

On the flipside, I've at least decided on what I want to do with my life, and I have a plan now.

I'm glad you're becoming stronger and making decisions that will help you, Kevin! I hope it all goes well! I'm also excited to hear that you've decided what you'll be spending the rest of your life doing :3. congrats~

Ikr.

I've never really understood the point of using slang. Like when everyone started using "dude" in second grade I was just like... what? Don't call me dude... I have a name o-o

Or dope... wth does that even mean? Also tight. I never understood that one. "dude those pants are tight!" No they're not... "no I mean cool" then why didn't you just say that...? e.e

My friends usually use it to be silly to one another xD. That, or it's just become part of our normal society to use these words. Swag for example .

USPS didn't deliver my package today for some reason
This seems normal enough
But...

1. It's a wig. A WIG. WHY NOT JUST LEAVE THE WIG?!
2. My roommates were home all day. Like, 10 feet away from the door...THE ENTIRE DAY. THEY DIDN'T EVEN SHOW UP
3. They did NOT leave a notice that they tried to deliver. I had to check my actual online order tracker to get ANY information.

When are your finals? o-o. Hopefully you do really well on them and I hope your week goes by fast so you can spend your time with your boyfriend c:. I also hope all of your UPS stuff gets sorted out! You got this :D.

I already missed like 20 days of school from not sleeping well/colds, and my spring/summer allergies are going to come back soon so I may miss even more days.

I used to miss a lot of school too xD. Hopefully your allergies won't make you miss too much more . Try emailing your teachers about getting all of the work if it starts to effect your school attendance?

-----------------------------------

Needing advice hard core, and I usually go to this thread when I need advice, so I might as well try it again. If it should be a blog instead, then sorry . I'll do that next time if it fits more of a blog!

Getting into a slump has been a regular thing. I've heard people that do the same thing, so I don't know if I'm just normal, or if I really am a bit messed up in the head. I don't want to take it to a professional if it's normal for everyone to think this way.

I should probably describe how I feel when I'm in a depressed mood. Not sure if I have before.

My thoughts normally jump around a bit. I'll zone-off in class or at home (due to classes being too easy and me having solid grades in them, or due to not doing anything at home) and start thinking about things, randomly jumping from topic to topic what seems like every few minutes or so. An example: It goes from band, to being a musician, to video game music, to video games, to board games, to a game store I want to work at and what that would be like, to my working future (positive), and so on. They're pretty connected and they're usually happy. It keeps me entertained when I'm bored most of the time.

I still do that when I'm in a depressed mood. It's just more negative, and it feels like the thoughts progress way faster. I focus in on myself way more than I do when I'm happy. It usually goes along the lines of my future (negative), my negative qualities in general, my fears, my fear of people, my fear of pain, my fear of death, me hating the idea of living (connected to suicide). I usually force myself to stop there because that's when I realize that I shouldn't be thinking like that.

I don't know why I always end up thinking about suicide or my fears, but I always do. When I'm depressed, I can find anything to connect to me in a negative way and in the end I always ends on suicide. I know I'll never commit suicide. I have a fear of pain and death. It just makes me hate myself that I don't have the courage to get over pain and death for a few minutes to end it all, and it makes me hate myself more that I think like this :/.

How do people normally get over things like this? I know mood-swings (the terminology my mom uses to describe it. She's medicated for it, so it may be bi-polar? Not actually sure) run in my family, and I get depressed randomly and frequently, so I can't just stop thinking about it. My dad is anti-medication, and my mom wants me to wait until I'm certain that I have a disorder or something before getting any type of medication. I have tons of after school stuff regarding band that is scheduled very last minute and if I miss any of it, I fail the class. That means no after school counseling. If I had a car, I could do weekends, but I don't :/.

I feel like I don't have any options, but I have to be missing something. There has to be something I can do to get over these feelings instead of just hating myself more and more over something as dumb as my fears. >_<'. Any suggestions?

If this should be a blog, I'm really sorry . I'll do that next time if that's the case! Just looking for advice, since there is no where else I could really put this unless a blog would be better suited for it.

 

[BlueXenon]

I used to miss a lot of school too xD. Hopefully your allergies won't make you miss too much more . Try emailing your teachers about getting all of the work if it starts to effect your school attendance?

My teachers email me the work and my school website has the homework, the problem is classwork, which I get 0's for every time im absent.

I think you should find something do distract you from depressing thoughts, for me its music.
That's all I can think of with your limitations.

 

[Dooms]

There is no policy where if the absences are excused, you can make up the class work via make up work? . That's very unfortunate if that's the case ;_;. I really hope you stay well!

Music doesn't help. It gives me a way to zone off easier, since the outside world is tuned out :/. Thank you for the suggestion though! c:

 

[Chronodiver Lokii]

ksajdflkjsadkf come here come here you are precious let me hug you ; w ; thanks for the cheerin' up

 

[PsychoIncarnate]

Saw a girl I tried to ask out last quarter today. While talking to her, more than anything I felt anxious. I'm not that good at small talk as it is.

It was nice seeing her, but then again, she did end up rejecting me last quarter

 

[Vashimus]

Why were you anxious? The rejection already happened.

 

[PsychoIncarnate]

Why were you anxious? The rejection already happened.

I dunno.

That's why I'm unhappy.

Maybe because I didn't know how to feel.

Another possibility is that I feel anxious in most social situations and the fact I hadn't seen her in a while and didn't have the same kind of feelings made it feel more like a social situation with someone I wasn't close to.

 

[quote]

My grandma got something in the mail today. It went a little like this.

Final notice:
Here is a voucher for a cruise.
Here is a check for a large sum of money.
Some other text with some sort of instructions more than likely.

I think that someone is trying to run an identity theft scam, or something along those lines. I'm not happy about it, and had to explain this to her.

 

[PsychoIncarnate]

Did it have any instructions for wire transferring money. Because if it did, it's undoubtedly a scam.

Also, if it's from a Nigerian prince

 

[Froggy]

I can't remember if I masturbated to an orgasm last night. It's important because my {sorta} girlfriend might be coming over tonight and I'd like to know if my body is ready for action. *sighs*

 

[Holder of the Heel]

Ahhhh, I missed Froggy's Epimetheus posts... They make me smile.

 

[PsychoIncarnate]

Ahhhh, I missed Froggy's Epimetheus posts... They make me smile.

He posts about a moon of saturn?

 

[♖♘♗♔♕♗♘♖]

I can't remember if I masturbated to an orgasm last night. It's important because my {sorta} girlfriend might be coming over tonight and I'd like to know if my body is ready for action. *sighs*