Noipoi
Howdy!
Here we are, on a boatBlunt the knives, bend the forks
Smash the bottles and burn the corks
Chip the glasses and crack the plates
That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!
Cut the cloth, tread on the fat
Leave the bones on the bedroom mat
Pour the milk on the pantry floor
Splash the wine on every door!
Dump the crocks in a boiling bowls
Pound them up with a thumping pole
When you're finished if they are whole
Send them down the hall to roll
That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!
So, carefully! carefully with the plates!
You’re adrift, you’re afloat
One could even say you’re…stuck!
Now I don’t wanna gloat
But I would like to note that you’re in luck!
You’ve been saved by the ape who ruled these waters
So forget about your wives and daughters!
First mate introduce me to them pleeease
He’s the big and scary
Elegant and hairy
Fear inspiring
Years till’ retiring
Looting, stealing
Banana peeling!
Undisputed master of the seas! (Oh jeez!)
That’s me!
Tis he!
That’s me!
Tis he!
That’s me!
Tis he! (Okay, okay…)
I’m a primate pirate pioneer
And these are my brave buccaneers
All of whom were once lost souls like you (it’s true!)
He rescued us!
He saved our butts!
For that, we owe our lives to Gutt, and assuming he doesn’t kill you…
You will owe him too!
He we are in a ship
Moving at quite a clip
Towards the ever shifting ice!
Come along on the trip
That’s a hint
That’s a tip
That’s good advice!
In a world that’s going under
To survive you must learn to plunder
Luckily that’s my field of expertise (He’s the best!)
He’s the robbing thieving
(We really should be leaving)
Weapon throwing
(We gotta get going)
Sloth slaying
(Wish we could be staying)
Undisputed uncontested monkey suited
(Yeah you guessed it)
Master of the seas! (Oh please…)
That’s me!
Tis he!
That’s me!
Tis he!
It’s who?
It’s you!
Just testing, I knew
It’s me!