So...I've been thinking about this for awhile, and I'm starting to realize that I'm much more depressed than I ever thought I was. Guess a part of me was trying to hold on for so long that it's tearing me down. Sometimes I worry about my future maybe because I'm setting the expectations high on myself to where I'm really not sure what to do with my life and everything. I can see how much summer time depresses me because I have to start conversations with people, make plans, etc when I'm not really social person even though I'm adapting from my high school days four years ago. As a Deaf person who's been in public school my whole life instead of Deaf school, it's hard with lack of social life and everything, to the point where I become socially depressed at times I'm out with friends whether church, out to eat, or events because I've had that "I don't feel belonged" phase at times.
First step in healing is to go to consulting on campus and just take it step by step instead of worrying all the time. Matthew 6:34 does say to not worry about the future, but to focus on today. Makes me question why, but I need to remind myself of the verse because quite frankly, I worry too much. I worry about my future, if I make right path, friends, job, etc
Sorry for the random post guys, but I thought I'd just need to vent on how I'm feeling right now. Not easy with adapting into the Deaf world at times from being at public school my whole life and everything, but I'm doing the best I can. Just need to get all the help that I need to keep myself from bringing myself down.