Ruler of The Land

[ultimaiq2]

that was a good one LS.

Well since I've been killed, soul killed and shot way to many times it was about time I introduced my Auto-life ring again.

A reviving platform appears and Ultimaiq is revived AGAIN.

Uiq: Prepare to fear the allmighty ring of life.
C85: As ruler I order you to give it to me, and since you are to smart to do that I'll just use my suprerior PSI powers to mind controll you.
Uiq: Hey no fair.... Yes master Yuri.. I mean Creature_85.
C85: Now give it to me.
Uiq: Here you go your highness.
C85: Mwahahahaha now im inmortal. Hey this ring feels kinda rubbery.
Uiq: Thats because its a ring made of C4. *click...BOOM!!!*
C85: Argh!! you blew of my hand, why diden't the PSI controll work?
Uiq: Look at my screen name.
C85: Oh. Well you die now *pulls out a pistol and shoots Ultimaiq woh is instantly revived*
Uiq: *picks up C85 and takes him to the dungeon* You will make a fine pet for MJ.
C85: No please don't, I'll give you a dollar.
Uiq: Nah I still got my 100 before I was blown up by Chaoser *throws C85 into MJs cell*

I am the ruler of the land! and 100 bucks richer.

 

[Creature_85]

MJ: Come to my Birthday party on my ranch!:******:

Me: *pulls out the pistol from my last post and shoots MJ* I don't fight fair.

Meanwhile. . .

ult: He he he, I am the ruler!

Me: *Shoots ult* I don't fight fair.

I am the ruler of the land!

 

[SNTRL]

* Creature_85 is having the time of his life ruling, but meanwhile the triforce is bring me back to life*

slave: your highness..why do you carry that pistol around and chose not to fight honorably?
*Bam!!...the slave lies dead.*

C85:WTF wrong wit u asking me questions!!!!?

Cha:Yo!! Creature...for once in your life..how about a fair match?

C85: It's you Chaoser, but wait their something different....hmmmm...no your still the same..i think. Can you tell me what's different about you so i could be ready for it when we battle.

Cha:Ohh..you mean these rabbit ears..they help me move faster.

c85:[long silence]ohhhhh.....................ok lets fight.

*a long and tiring battle takes place*

C85: Man...i got my pistol i don't have to take this.

*creature_85 takes out his gun and fires. Then chaoser ducks behind his sheild and "BAM!!!"*

*He lies dead on the ground*

Cha: OH yeah..i forgot to tell you that i also had a mirror sheild...well..guards..take this lifeless body and do something wit it.

Im the ruler of the Land!!!

 

[ultimaiq2]

Uiq: *revived by auto-life ring again* Haha I can never die.
Cha: Who you talking too?
Uiq: Hey where is Creature_85?
Cha: Over there *points at a lifeless body*
Uiq: Oh, but who is the ruler?
Cha: You are looking at him.
Uiq: ...Hahahahahahaahahaha!!!!one111!!!!!!shift+1!!!!!!
Cha: Hey, what is your problem anyway.
Uiq: You do understand that you are to be dethroned are you?
Cha: No way *jumps into a box and locks it from the inside* You will never be able to rule if you cant anihiliate me.
Uiq: who said I have to *puts the beanbag throne on top of the box*

I am the ruler of the land!

 

[SNTRL]

*meanwhile...*
Ganon:hmm...i've taken over hyrule and there's has been no sigh of chaoser anywhere...where could he be?
*Ganon then sets out on a journey to find his ultimate foe and he arrived to a even more dark land.*

Ganon: WTF!!...i thought i was the only evil ruler.....well seems like i will have to teach this guy who runs this.*
Ganon: You!!
Ult: Who me?
Gan: Yeah you!!
Ult: What did i do..
Gan: Where's Chaoser?
Ult:I don't know...
Gan: Are you sure?
Ult:Uhhhh.........I don't know
Gan:Are you lying to me boy
Ult: I don't know
Gan: come here
Ult: Are you going to hurt me Mr.Ganon
Gan: Boy!!..bring yo..
Gan: Now what's in that box
Ult: Ummmm...cake
Gan: Wrong answer.
*then snaps ultimaiq's neck*
*Ganon walks up to the box and uses his triforce powers to open it up*
*Chaoser emerges from the box all magically and stuff and then ganon punches him down*
Gan: WTF have you been?..Don't u know that i been enslaving ppl for awhile now and your up there hide and seek wit ur friends.
Cha: Im sorry..
*then slices Ganon throat*

Im the ruler of the Land!!

 

[Creature_85]

(Wow, we seem to have a lot of Link look-alikes running around)

With the little strength I have left, I raise my pistol and shoot Chaoser in the back. The I steal his triforce so he can't come back to life, but die before I can use it.

Nobody is the ruler of the land!

 

[Lightning Snake]

Lightning Snake:There was no monkey out there!
*sees what has become of the land*
Lightning Snake:I'm not cleaning this mess up!
*I go to another land and conquer it*
I am the ruler of the land!

 

[ultimaiq2]

A new adventure has just begun and our favorite hero Ultima IQ has venured for a great never ending quest to become the ruler of the land, now let us see how hes doing... WHAT? hes dead, lets just bring him to life before anyone notices it.

Uiq: Ugh, what happened?
Narrator: You are to be the new ruler of the land, and a evil force named Lightning Snake is your mortal enemy.
Uiq: Why would i do that?
Narrator: Because if you are the ruler everyone will look up to you and stuff.
Uiq: No they wont, they will just kill me again... and again.
Narrator: There will plenty of cheese and cookies there.
Uiq: <_< >_> Im out of here *goes to the new land*

Ultimaiq makes his way to the new land where Lightning Snake is the ruler.

LS: Ah this land was pretty nice, what was it called again slave?
Slave: Sweden sir.
LS: Ah Sweden, a most nice and friendly land where nobody will dethrone me. I feel like being a nice guy today, how about I free some slaves today.
Slave: That will be great sir. Who will you release sir?
LS: I don't know, who do you think?
Slave: *points at himself and nods hos head*
LS: Well then... release the slave the cleans the bathrooms.
Slave: WHAT? what about me?
LS: You? Nah you make such good sammiches.

Just then Ultimaiq breaks through a window and makes his pose.

Uiq: Have no fear your end is here! *shots all the slaves with a Psg1*
LS: How did you find me?
Uiq: The narrator told me.
LS: No he diden't.
Uiq: Ok ok, I bribed the narrator to tell em.
LS: Wrong again.
Uiq: I stalked you.
LS: Nope.
Uiq: *sight* I was lured here because he said there would be cheese and cookies.
LS: Ah we got a lot of that.
Uiq: Where?
LS: Over there.
Uiq: But first *uses his XXXL blade to cut LS*

Now im the ruler of the land of cheese and cookies.

 

[SabreAnt]

Little does ultimaiq2 know, SabreAnt has been in the recent ring of food poisoning, and has spiked the cheese and or cookies. Dare you take a bite!?! Feeling peckish SabreAnt heads for the plate of goodies but then cant remember what he has poisoned already. Trying to think logically, he decides that if he has one of everything, then he is bound to get the food that is not poisoned. How right he was. And stupid.

Waking up with a splitting headache, several people are standing over him and looking down at him sprawled out on the floor. Oops think SabreAnt, better make an excuse.

"I uh, passed out because.. uh... I uh, had too many olives. Err.. yeah."

The gathering of onlookers all nod and murmur in agreement. Then one after the other return to what they were doing. It appears that a tea party is happening at the current time. A perfect chance for some throne-taking. Deciding to not put in as much effort as usual, SabreAnt yells SPOON! 30,000 rubber henchmen with big sticks all charge in and subdue the guests and ruler alike! The are all bound gagged and put in the attic until further notice. SabreAnt yoinks ultimaiq2's wallet and plonks his butt on the throne afterward.

SabreAnt is now Ruler of the Land.

 

[SNTRL]

Zelda: Hmm...somethings wrong. Ganon has'nt tried enslaving hyrule for awhile now. And Chaoser has'nt been here to lay pipe on me. Something had to happen and im going to find them.

*Zelda sets out on her own adventure to quest for beloved laying pipe love.*
*She walks onto a land that has been ruined and sees Chaoser lifeless body*
Zelda: Oh no!!....how could this happen to my pipe laying love.
*Zelda uses "her" triforce peice to bring me back alive and Choaser wakes up all woozy and stuff*
Zel:Are you all right?
Cha:Yeah..i think so.
Zel: Good....now lets go get laid
Cha: Wait there's something i have to do..first.
*Looks around and notice everything is destoryed
Cha:Man..someone should really clean this up.
*Both Chaoser and Zelda set off to find the new land and upon their arrival they find Sabre sitting in this new shiny throne*

Cha:Man...i want one.
Zel: If you would lay pipe i could make you my king and then you would get one.
Cha:well thats true but i whether hurt ppl

*Chaoser calls one of the near by guest.*
Cha: I'll let you lay this princess if you kill the ruler.
*Guest begins rub his chin*
Guest:...hmmm...hmmmmm....hmmmmmmmmmmmm...uh..ok
*Then the guest ask SabreAnt to have a drink wit him.
Sab: Ok....A toast to me the new ruler!
Guest: Yes.....Toast and everlasting ruler!!
*But Sabre got more than that out of that statement and demanded the guest to drink, which he did'nt so he was killed.
Sab: Stupid..but why would he want to kill me?
Cha:Maybe because of me!
*Turns around at point blank with a arrow to his head*
Sablease don't...........
Cha:Opps!!!..my finger slipped...to bad u did'nt get to finish ur sentence i might would have let you live.

Now Im the ruler of the Land!!
Cha:Zelda now lets go get laid

 

[ultimaiq2]

Now Im the ruler of the Land!!
Cha:Zelda now lets go get laid
Ult: Yeah right, like if that would happen.
Zel: What? two Links? (Ultimaiq does not look like Link at all, but does now).
Cha: Hes an imposter.
Ult: Then why do I have the triforce of curage.
Cha: No I have the triforce of curage.
Zel: Oh my, who is the real one.
Cha: Can you prove that your the real one.
Ult: *pulls up a bomb and hurl it at Chaoser* Good enough?
Cha: *throws a bombchu at Ultimaiq* Take the faker!
Ult: *uses Megaton hammer to squish the bombchu and fires a arrow at Cha* I am the ultimate lifeform!
Cha: Your arrow does not stand a chance against my Hyrulian shield, lets see how you handle a fire arrow.
Zel: More blood, more blood!
Ult: My mirror shield is far better than your metal plate. eat this! *fires a ice arrow at chaoser*
Cha: *frozen solid* ...
Ult: Just to be sure you wont come back *takes frozen Chaoser to the basement and put him in the cold storage room and sets the heat under -30 celsius*
Zel: My hero.
Ult: No im not *steals Zeldas triforce of Wisdom* Now I'll pay Ganondorf a visit, but first.

I am the ruler of the land!

 

[rovalles]

looks at both Links while the guru of time stands along side.
RO: This doesn't bode well
guru: True, the same person can not exist twice in the same time frame. They tend to myseriously implode themselves.
RO: Implode?
guru: a small vortex will soon appear absorbing them and passing judgement on who truly belongs on this plane.

shortly after both Links disappear.
RO: oh well i never liked the Swedish anyway lets go to Germany.
guru: yes. i hear there chocolate is excellent.

Want ad later appears " One land in need of ruler must meet no expectations. Inquire with us"

 

[Dale]

Returns from awkwardly long vacation in Djibouti
*See's the sign*
*wonder's exactly who "us" is*
*see's chocolate stain in the corner and I instantly know that "they" are in Germany*
*Blinks*
*Stands for a while*
*starts shooting astericks because there are too many in this post
*Takes the broken asterick pecies and builds a throne out of them and says something to the effect of "I am the ruler of the land"

 

[SS4Ricky]

*ackwardly follows Dale back into topic, knowing he gave up forum games a while ago*

uhhh.....i shoot alot of stuff and i'm the new ruler of the land!!!!! WAHHHH!!!!!!

*realizes that forum games provide postcount ++ and thinks about getting back into it.*

 

[ultimaiq2]

I see a dead guy known as Dale and a trigger happy SS4Ricky, wich falled asleep when there was nothing left to shoot. So I walk right over to him and steal all his guns and ammo and a wallet full of cash. Then I fire some rounds from my M9 to make his nap time a lot longer, but then suddently a German apperars.

German: Ich bin Deutchlander. (I am a German)
Ultimaiq: What you say?
Ger: Do bist ein idiot? (you are a idiot)
Uiq: Man stop talking bs.
Ger: Kyahahahaha (classic german laughter)
Uiq: How about I stick this *points at his XL Desert Eagle 50 calibur gun* in your mouth and pull the trigger.
Ger: *Questionmark apperars above his head*
Uiq: Nah that would be cowardly, I'll use this instead *pulls up a Stinger Missile Launcher and aims for his head and fires*
Ger: Blargh!! *classic German death cry (maybe, I dont know)*

I am the ruler of the land! *crush* "wops I stepped on SS4Ricky while wearing Iron boots"

 

[Dale]

Dale's ghost appears from somewhere, and before he even think about why he's dead he's sadly thinking about the fact that SS4Ricky had a wallet full of cash and he didn't get to it first.

He glares at Ultimaiq....

Dale: Was denken Sie, daß Sie machen?
Ult: Ich...Sind Sie nicht tot?
Dale: Ich könnte sein...
Ult: Und wann haben Sie Deutsch gelernt?
Dale: A long time ago, but it's hurting my throat...so I'll stop now
Ult: Ok
Ultimaiq attempts to shoot me with his awesomzor weapons and his sidewinder missiles...but I'm already dead. I walk over to him and cover him up like a Muk.
Ult: Hilfe!
Dale: Nein...
He dies...

And...Ich bin jetzt der Herrscher!

 

[Lightning Snake]

*I come in, armed with the Poltergust 3000*
Lightning Snake: Guten tag!
Dale: Aufweidersehn! Mwahahahaha!
Lightning Snake: Schnell! Schnell! Kartoffelkopf!
Dale: What? Quick! Quick! Potatohead?
Lighning Snake: Du ist Herr Kartoffelkopf!*Sucks up Dale's ghost up into the poltergust 3000.*

Ich bin jetzt der herrscher!

 

[PsiFlameMaster]

enough foreign language! *pulls out an English grammar book and bores Lighting Snake to death with ten hours or boring lessons*



I AM RULER OF THE LAND!!!

 

[ultimaiq2]

Seeing that everyone exept me (grammarproff ability) and PsiFlameMaster is dead from all the grammar lessons, I quickly begin to speak Norwegian to PsiFlameMaster.

Ultimaiq: Hei du der! (Hey you!)
PsiFlameMaster: What?
Uiq: Jeg skal nå snakke masse Norsk bare for å forvirre deg. (Im now gonna speak lots of Norwegian just to confuse you)
Psi: Is that Latin or something? (yes, some people on the net thinks that Norwegian is Latin)
Uiq: Du vil nå møte din dommedag. (you will now meet your doomsday)
Psi: You don't scare me with your fancy Latin, take this *throws the grammar book at Ultimaiq*
Uiq: Hei, ikke kast søppel på meg. (Hey, don't throw trash at me)
Psi: Stop it! your making my head hurt.
Uiq: Aldrig, dette er moro. (No way, this is fun)
Psi: Thats it, im calling my cousins aunts nieces brother he knows many languages.
Uiq: Go ahead, wops I mean. Bare gjør det.
Psi: He'll be here any second now. *big crash through the wall*
Guy: Ich are oversetter. (german+english+norwegian= I are translator)
Psi: Listen good when that Ultiguy talks.
Uiq: Hei, fint å treffe deg mr? (Hi, nice to meet you mr?)
Guy: Hi, nice to hit you down mr?
Psi: What? that dosen't make much sense.
Uiq: Ok, da får jeg bare drepe dere begge da. (Ok, then I'll just have to kill you both then)
Guy: Ok, then I'll just have to hug you both then???
Psi: No!!! I dont want any Norwegian germs!!! Runaway!!!
Guy: Ich will se dich in helvete! (I will see you in ****!)

I am the ruler of the land!
(and I will TRY to stop using foreign languages)

 

[PsiFlameMaster]

Ha! I've got you on the whole Latin thing. FYI I take a Latin class and can easily tell if it's Latin or something else. as for speaking it...

me: Es tardus et vesanus, nunc ambula ab soli, ultimaiq! (You're stupid and crazy, now step away from my throne, ultimaiq!)

ult: nooo! now i can't understand a word he's saying! shlizen! <---(made-up word with no meaning)

me: Dixi movere ab soli. Habes ad cras donare. (I said to get off the throne. You have untill tomarrow to move)

ult: well, i don't understand a word he's saying, so I'll just sit here untill tomarrow.

*a day passes*

me: hey, i thought i told you to move!

ult: but i didn't understand you. so ! so you plan to take my throne, huh? you and what army?

me: o ya? you wanna see my army? *snaps fingers* :o :freak: =/ :******: O_O :sleep: times 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000

MWAHHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!

ult: EEP! *runz*



I AM RULER OF THE LAND!!!

 

[Lightning Snake]

*I come in, weilding a sign saying "Spanish > Latin."*
Lightning Snake: Este es tu final! (This is your end!)
Psi Flame Master: What?
Lightning Snake: Tu es un alubia! Yo machacho alubias! (You are a bean! I crush beans!)*I turn Psi Flame master into a bean somehow and step on him.*

Yo gobeno de la tierra!(I rule the land!)

 

[s0c*]

Comes in holding sign that says : 1337 > Spanish.

1 |2 c0|\/|3 70 74|<3 |34c|< |\/|y 7|-||20|\|3!

Lightning: Umm..Este es tu final!

j00 4l|234dY 54|d 7|-|47!!!!!!!11
|\|0|/\| |33 G0|\|3!!!!11

Lighning runs away in confusion.

| 4|\/| 73|-| |\|3|/\| |2uL3|2 0f 73|-| L4|\|D!!!!!1

 

[Gaiagamer]

*I come in, weilding a sign saying "French > Spanish"*

Me: Je suis venu prendre le trône de vous! (I've come to take the throne from you!)

Lightning Snake: ...?

Me: Votre muet. (Your dumb.)

Lightning Snake: I don't understand a word that you are saying.

Me: Bon. (Good.)

*Takes out my trusty rock spire which is 1 mile in diameter.*

Me: Ceci vous blessera beaucoup et vous pourriez vouloir à juste la course loin. En fait, je vous encourage à vous sauver. (This will hurt you very much and you might want to just run away. Actually, I encourage you to run away.)

Lightning Snake: Uh, oh...I don't need to know French to know that I need to get out of here!

Me: Votre aussi en ******. (Your too late.)

*I smack Lightning Snake in the head and knock him out into orbit.*

Me: Ha, ha. Maintenant je suis le dirigeant de la terre. (Ha, ha. Now I am the ruler of the land.)

Edit: Forget about this post. sOc* beat me to it.

 

[ultimaiq2]

edit: Man someone posted while I was writing, but im not rewriting all this because of that, enjoy.

Ultimaiq enters holding a sign saying "Norwegian > J00"

Ultimaiq: Does anyone know what shlizen is? I sure don't.
PsiFlameMaster: *from under Lightning Snakes shoe* I do!
Lightning Snake: No you don't *starts grinding his shoe into the ground*
Psi: That hurts you know.
LS: This will hurt more *uses his lighter to burrn the shoe*
Psi: *long silence* ...
LS: Finaly! now what did you say again?
Uiq: Does anyone know what shlizen is?
LS: Thats easy, it's uh... cheese in Norwegian.
Uiq: No cheese is "ost". (yes ost sound funny in English)
LS: I give up, I'll just destroy you using my l33t Spanish on you.
Uiq: l33t? 1 4m g00n4 k11l j00 (I am gonna kill you)
LS: Huh? you mouth moved and I heard some stange things but I don't understand anything.
Uiq: Nå, hvordan skal vi gjøre dette? (now then, how should we do this?)
LS: Your Latin don't scare me. Este es tu final diablo Ultimaiq! (this is your end devil Ultimaiq)
Uiq: Too bad I lost my text document of cool Japanese Kanji, or I would have counterattacked that.
LS: I win! Now get lost, I have a party to attend to.

But then a Pichu with something ducktaped onto it enters the throneroom.

LS: Oh look a Pokèmon, I'll catch you *Pokèmon Battle music from SSBM plays in the background* Go my very bes Pokèmon... Weedle.
Weedle: Weedle *sad and tired voice*
LS: Weedle use your oober talke.
Weedle: *faints after a few steps*
LS: Oh shoot, I'll just use my Masterball.
Pichu: ? *Duduuduuu dudududuuu Pichu was chaught and info about Pichu was added to Pokèdex*
Pokèdex: Pichu is the baby version of a Pikachu, but this Pichu has a large pack of C4 ducktaped to it.
LS: *Holds up Masterball high into the air* Yeah I chaught a Pichu im the best *The masterball explodes* ALUBIAS!!!!!! (best curseword ever)

I am the ruler of the land!

But then Because Gaiagamer and some others posted I will just have to burn down Gaiagamer with my Norwegian produced flamethrower, Muahahahahaha.

 

[Ultima Nightmare]

Me: *Shoots ultimaiq2 in the forehead*

ultimaiq2: *Gets dragged off by the guards*

Me: *Sits in the throne*

I AM RULER OF THE LAND!

 

[Dale]

*Walks in, amazed at the incredibly large and obvious sig sitting below the throne of Ultima Nightmare*
Dale: Hey, that's a pretty big sig you have there...
UN: I know...I'm sooooo cool too.
Dale: No, no you're not. I'm pretty sure of that. You are aware that sigs have been banned from this castle for some time right?
UN: I'm too cool to hear you.
*Takes the sig from the below the throne and swings it like a baseball bat and decapi-ma-tates UN's head.
UN: X(
*Burns sig*

Sadly, I am now the ruler of the land. I'm bored...Next poster gets to be my jester!

 

[Ultima Nightmare]

Me: I have gotten rid of the sig, so I am still alive, and therefore still ruler of the land.

Dale. No, no young nOOb.

Me: *Makes this man kill Dale---> *

Demon: *Eats Dale*

Me: *Sits on the throne*

I am ruler of the land!

 

[ultimaiq2]

Ultimaiq: What is this? a guy that halfway stole my perfect name.
Dale: It's not even good.
Uiq: *Stomps Dale*
Ultima Nightmare: I am too cool to be looked directly into the eyes.
Uiq: Your not cool, your only "smash noob" while I am "smash apprentice".
UN: So? you probably spammed your way up there.
Uiq: You lie! *throws a can of spam at Ultima Faker*
UN: Yum I love spam *eats the whole can*
Uiq: Did I forget too tell you that the spam.... eh you don't wanna know.
UN: Know what? *stomach rumbles* More, need more S-P-A-M!!!
Uiq: There are more in the cell next to MJs bed in the dungeon.
UN: *Allready dissapeared from the throneroom*
Dale: Im not dead.
Uiq: Here have some addictive spam.
Dale: No im not that stupid *looks at the 2 week old buffet table* Oh look a sammich *eats the sammich and a XL cheese looking thing* I don't feels so good *runs to the bathroom*
Uiq: Thats right folks, just like BigBrother we got cameras everywhere, but I must warn you NOT to switch over to the bathroom cam.

I am the ruler of the land!

 

[Ultima Nightmare]

Me: *Mysteriously appears in throne room* Hey, I shot you in the forehead.

ultimaiq2: Did not.

Me: Did too.

ultimaiq2: Did not.

Me: Did too.

ultimaiq2: Fine. You did. Guards, sieze him.

Me: *Busts Bruce Lee/Jackie Chan style moves on the guards, and they all run away*

Me: You want some too?

ultimaiq2: No! Eep! Don't hurt me! *Runs away*

Me: *Sits in throne*

I am ruler of the land!

 

[ultimaiq2]

Since Ultima Nightmare has been the ruler for 2 days, I the allmighty Ultima IQ will 'attempt' to dethrone the fake Ultima.

Uiq: I have come to dethrone you.
UN: I am to cool to be talked directly to.
Uiq: I don't care about your coolness, I only care about dethroning you.
UN: Your not cool, only I am cool.
Uiq: *fake tear* You mean bully you.
UN: It's not cool to cry.
Uiq: You know if you say the same word over and over again it will lose its meaning.
UN: Cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool.
Uiq: You can stop now.
UN: Hah did not work I am still cool... cool? you know cool sounds like cold without the D.
Uiq: Now tell me what cool is.
UN: Its uh.. *real tears* You mean bully you! *runs to the bathroom* Dale lemme in.
Dale: ... *Been in there 2 days without any food you know*
UN: I think I'll move back to my parents again, I hope my girlfriend dosen't mind.
Uiq: Seeing that I am the only one left here.

I am the ruler of the land!

Dale: Im not dead, they locked the door from the outside please let me out.

 

[PsiFlameMaster]

after having been shquished and burned as a bean, i return to my normal form but burned and smashed flat Loony Toons style.

me: *walks in*
Uiq: haha! you're flat and burned.
me: not anymore! *blows into thumb and inflates like a baloon, then pops and goes back to normal with no side effects*
Uiq: haha! that was funny.
Dale: you know, I'm still locked in here, and i haven't had any food for 2 1/2 days....
all: *ignore the conspicuous voice coming from the bathroom*
Dale: fine. I'll just sit here until someone opens the door.
me: Uiq, don't you think you should let him out now?
Uiq: who are you talking about? that wierd voice i keep hearing in my head? AH! there's a voice in my head! GET OUT! GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!
me: I'll perform an operation on your head to get the "voice" out of your head, for a small fee, of course...
Uiq: ok, here, just do it quickly! *hands me $1,000,000,000,000*
me: *pulls out a big knife* (in a Dr. Nick from the Simpsons voice) Ok, you won't feel a thing, 'till I jam this through your skull! *procedes to make jello out of Uiq's brain*
Uiq: duuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....... *fart*
me: well, the current leader is unable to rule, and his will says that I should be his "heir"
gaurd: but you just now wrote that will on a napkin with a green crayon!
me: uh... *looks at the fake will, then hastily hides it behind his back* shut-up!


I AM THE RULER OF THE LAND!!!

 

[SNTRL]

Cha:well this is what has happen to the land while i was gone...hmmmmm. Well i guess i'll find the ruler, kill him, and
reclaim whats mine.HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!..ohhh

*We find PFM sitting on his fat *** doing nothing as usually.
PFM: well looky here its chaoser..well the mop and water is over there so make yurself useful.

Cha:Look here i came to.....ok..
*Takes mop and starts mopping.
Cha: WOW!! PFM u have to check this dead ladybug out
PFM:Where!!
*PFM starts running and breaks his neck*

Cha:Ohhhhh...i knew i forgot something *puts wet floor sign up*. Now thats better it should would be terrible for someone to slip and fall would'nt it PFM..oh ur dead.bye!

I am the ruler of the land!!

Cha: Hey!...wheres Dale?

 

[ianiceboy]

All this time Ianiceboy has been pretending to be a frozen shrub. Stealthily he prowls up to the mop bucket and absconds with it. When Chaoser is having his mid-afternoon nap between naps, he does his lunatic shrub crawl into the repeatedly incinerated ruler chambers.
"Hark! Who is there?" calls Chaoser, awoken with a start.
"It is I, a frozen shrub," responds Ianiceboy with a chillingly leafy rustle.
"Oh, okay, just don't drown me in that mop bucket," quips Chaoser, drifting back to sleep.

Ianiceboy then drowns everyone's first choice as leader in the mop bucket. Chaoser, also.

But all was not right. It seems that frozen shrubs are specifically forbade from ruling lands, and also chess tables. After four months of lobbying and drowning people in the mop bucket, it is amended, leaving the wispy crackle of ice on the wind to echo:

Ianiceboy is the ruler of the land.

 

[ultimaiq2]

Ultimaiq: Hi im back, Yuri fixed my brain after he 'borrowed' some of my money. Hey where is PsiFlameMaster? And who are you?
ianiceboy: I am ianiceboy a frozen shrub wannabe.
Uiq: Makes sense.
ian: It's complicated.
Uiq: *Looks at how many posts ianiceboy have* You new here?
ian: Hey how did you know? You a psychich?
Uiq: Yes and now I will steal your IQ.
ian: No! Why don't you take Chaoser's instead, hes a sleep and is a easy target.
Uiq: Your right, he is.
Chaoser: ZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZ no mommy I don't wanna go to school ZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZ.
Uiq: Hey where did the new guy go? Oh look a frozen shrub, I think I will just ignore it and steal Chaoser's IQ.
ian: *Thinks* Now is my chance to make a secret attack. BANZAI!!
Uiq: Uh? whats that 50 calibur Desert Eagle doing halfway out of the frozen shrub?
ian: Fire in the hole!
Uiq: *Is hit by a few shots* Hey I allmost felt that.
ian: WTF? You should have died 4 times now!
Uiq: Nah, got a AR.
ian: AR? you cheater!
Uiq: *programs something into the AR* If you move 1 inch you will explode you know thanks to this cheat.
ian: ...

I am the ruler of the land!

 

[Ultima Nightmare]

Me: *Returns to castle after mental break down. I have also brought Richard Simmons with me*

ultimaiq2: Get out of here, imposter Ultima.

Me: Silence. *Tells Richard that ultimaiq2 likes him*

RS: Oh, hello, big boy. Let me rub your leg.

ultimaiq2: Ahhhhhh!! *Runs away*

Me: Muahahahahahahahahaha! I am king again! *Sits in throne*

I am ruler of the land!

 

[SNTRL]

*Chaoser's finally awoke*

Cha:Man my head hurts...i feel so...so..stupid

UN: Hey! Sleppy head!

Cha:What dawg?

UN: Ultimaiq stole ur IQ

Cha: OH...well i guess i have to go back to school again, but first...

*Takes out a rubberband and plucks Un wit it*

UN: Ummm..what did that suppose to do?

Cha: Wait..ya'll see.

*A hour past and suddenly..*

UN: D*** my hand!!
*Then he runs out crying

Cha: Hmmm..what's wrong wit him?

Im the ruler of the land!!

 

[choknater]

*throws a carrot-man at Chaoser*

Chaoser tries to eat it but then he is attacked by thousands of tiger-bunnies.

I am ruler

of the land!

 

[rovalles]

In god's chamber.

Lord and heavenly father, GOD: YOU DID WHAT ?!?
Rov: We left the land alone. Two links fought over it.
GOD: I WANTED YOU TO TAKE OVER.
Rov: ok if i took control of Ibiza would it be ok?
GOD: That'll do, then first solve the problem of Satans highest minoin in the other land then return to your lair in Ibiza.

Moments later in germany in front of Chaoser Ulti, UM, and chokanater.
Rov: hello old friends I'm here to remove a problem that you have lets loose
All: what
Rov: (pointint to Simmons stuffing his face w/ chocolate)
UM: I knew i forgot something.
rov: (pulls out a green dagger places one end of the hilt to his lips and it mysteriously plays music)
Dale from his cell: Holy power rangers I'm saved
Suddenly the Dragonzord appears launches two missles one hitting Richard Simmons and sending him back to darkness the other realeasing Dale
Dale:FREEDOM.....wait Im a ghost still I could have escaped anytime. (wa,wa,wa,waaaaa)
rov:Thank you
Then hops on the dragonzord and returns to Ibiza

The ruler remains the same but I rule the island of Ibiza.

 

[Lightning Snake]

*On a nearby balcony*
Sniper: Yeah, I can take him out.
Lightning Snake: Hmmmmm, he's sitting on a throne! What an easy shot!
Sniper: Hey Ultimaiq is going to attack Choknater! Create an electro magnetic pulse to disrupt the AR!
Lightning Snake: Fine but your not getting paid for expenses!*Creates an electro magnetic pulse*
Sniper: Hey they're all fighting for the throne! You can just take out the winner!
Lightning Snake: I've got a better idea! I'll momentarily reactivate the AR, Then you shoot Ian Iceboy and I'll disable the AR!
*A bullet smashes through Ian Iceboy's hip causing him to drop in pain. He blows up. I then deactivate the AR and everyone in the thrown room gets incinerated and then their ashes blow skyward. Oh, and guess what...*

I am the ruler of the land!

 

[ultimaiq2]

Ultimaiqs story ended that day when Lightning Snake cowardly disabled his AR and used a sniper to kill everyone. But everything is not all lost because Ultimaiq still has his faithfull Auto life ring.

Ultimaiq: ... *a bright light appears above Uiq pile of ash and for some reason everyone else that is dead is revived* Hey, im back alive again.
LS: I got a bad feeling about this.
Sniper: You know, I still havent got my money.
LS: You wont get it as long as everyone is still alive.
Uiq: Time for my revenge *breaks through the castle wall and enters the throne room*
LS: Hey! my wall, the door was open you know.
Uiq: ...
LS: Do your job Sniper.
Sniper: Im out of bullets!! *throws his PSG-1 sniper rifle at Ultimaiq*
Uiq: *takes 1hp damage* Hey nice rifle, mind if I borrow it?
Sniper: Hah, there is no bullets left. *sees Uiq reload the rifle with some Pulse ammo from FF8, then aims for LS*
LS: Sorry! *pulls the Sniper in front of him and he is shot*
Sniper: You (...) Uahg!!!...
Uiq: Your turn.
LS: Go ahead, I got evade-and-counter skill, you wont hit me with any physical attacks.
Uiq: Hehe... *a magical sphere appears around Ultimaiq* ULTIMA!!

Lightining Snake is transported to a dark sky where several explotions hit him and he is taken back to the throne room at a near dead state.

LS: To bad I got this, go Elixir!
Uiq: You said something? I was busy switching over to the FF7 system and combined Quadra magic and Ultima materia.
LS: Not good *Is hit by 4 Ultima spells*
Uiq: Anyone else want some? *no one answer, but then*
Dale: You just try, you can't kill a ghost.
Uiq: Want a pheonix down?
Dale: Blargh!!

I am the ruler of the land!