Project M Johns Thread

[Deleted member]

Post your johns about anything that has happened to you in Project M.

Once, I was playing my last match of the day in Losers, and I got four stocked by a Jigglypuff. I went on to say to the guy, "I got really nervous, and I messed up pretty badly. I play way better than that, I swear man."

He just nodded and walked away. Never saw him again to be honest.

 

[Christopher Rodriguez]

The typical didn't warm-up john will always be king

 

[The_Altrox]

I typically start swearing at the character himself when I **** up. I'll be all, "Link you ****ing *******." Apparently, it's funny to others. I get that the character is functioning within the parameters of its build, but I like to yell at them when I make the mistake :O

 

[ShadowGanon]

My eyes were cold and my hands were closed.

 

[Bleck]

You're just winning because you're better than me.

 

[DrinkingFood]

Where's that John Auto-Generator when you need it

 

[Sizzlorr217]

"I didn't drink enough coffee today..." will be forever my only john used for everything.
I just NEED coffeine for playing fast-paced games!

 

[MoonlapseOpethian]

I typically start swearing at the character himself when I **** up. I'll be all, "Link you ****ing *******." Apparently, it's funny to others. I get that the character is functioning within the parameters of its build, but I like to yell at them when I make the mistake :O

This is what I do. WTF Snake! Can you NOT grab ledges now!? If so, tell me so I can main some other prick instead. Oh, Roy, can you not grab ledges either?! Should I call Snake so you two can go F*** each other in the useless closet?!

To the guy above me, caffeine helps my skill like I can't believe. It also keeps me less stressed so that I avoid the rage.

My favorite John is the classic that can literally never be disputed. "I'm using Wii Mote/Nunchuk and I am used to gay tap jump." This is actually true, btw.

My second favorite is another true one, and that's: "I've never played competitive offline, only online"

 

[TreK]

http://smashboards.com/threads/trimming-the-hedges-ivysaur-3-0-development-rationale.343531/ this OP

http://smashboards.com/threads/to-clear-things-up.346534/page-8#post-16347621 and this post

 

[StKo]

Whenever I SD, I simply say "it was a spacing tactic" and hope I can get a kill shortly after.
It works a little less than half the time

 

[Hinichii.ez.™]

I wasn't using the right color. Ok, I'm blue mario now, now you lose.

 

[Geranimo]

cold hands

#canadaproblems4ever

 

[Roy of Pharae]

my controller is bad!

 

[MysteryRevengerson]

I typically go with "I was playing bad" or "I'm just bad at this game"

That's usually what it boils down to.

 

[PhantasyStar]

My friend and I are always playing each other and he usually has a lot johns...
"I don't know this match-up"
"My controller isn't working"
"All the characters you play are so dumb"(Normally he says this after I play every character not a spacie)
"You're counterpicking me"(After random select)
"My shoe is untied"
"Someone was texting me"

 

[MonkUnit]

Where's that John Auto-Generator when you need it

http://taerk.net/files/john-o-tron-9k.html /thread

 

[shairn]

Roy/CF are allergic to ledges, I swear.

 

[MysteryRevengerson]

"I am too bright."

Spoiler

 

[Paradoxium]

If get D-throwed it usually leads into a ridiculous combo, I get pissed off and say that my opponents character takes no skill. I know it's not true, but nothing is more frustrating than getting combo'd by a pm character.

On Dolphin Netplay you can always use the lag John, there is nothing your opponent can do to stop it.

 

[Saito]

I John at home.
My hands are really cold most of the time at home, but it's okay since I take the time to warm them up by SMASHING.


If my hands were cold or I wasn't warmed up I won't complain but I will not be satisfied till I play them in a match where I'm at my best.

 

[210stuna]

I lost due to my pure skill.
Filthy elitist.

 

[Renji64]

I lost to boost your confidence.

 

[Spire]

"Link you ****ing *******."

These exact words.

 

[hotdogturtle]

"This character is broken" - Every non-P:M Smash player ever when losing

 

[Rikana]

Where's Samus?

 

[Saito]

http://taerk.net/files/john-o-tron-9k.html /thread

 

[The_Altrox]

These exact words.

I'm very upset that this site sensors that one word. How am I supposed to call John Snow what he is?

 

[DrinkingFood]

On Dolphin Netplay you can always use the lag John, there is nothing your opponent can do to stop it.

Except they can counter with a "yeah the lag is throwing me off too"

 

[Paradoxium]

Except they can counter with a "yeah the lag is throwing me off too"

1v1 me right now fool, ill make you eat those words

and drink that food

 

[Saito]

ill make you eat those words

I thought you were shadow, not sonic.

 

[arcticfox8]

I am too big.

Best 6 out of 11.

Best thing 2014

 

[Kit Cal-N]

My fingers are in my eyes

 

[PsionicSabreur]

My eyes are in my eyes, apparently.

 

[sushifreAk]

I THINK THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH MY EYES
GUYS HELP

 

[Bazkip]

OH GOD
HOW DID THIS EVEN HAPPEN

But for srs I got "My fingers are too sweaty" and it's so true, my hands are so damn sweaty. It's such a pain my controllers get grimy and nasty so quickly. I wipe them down every now and then of course, but I don't remember to always do it.

 

[deadjames]

I'm so tired of losing to lame ass Fox, he needs more nerfs imo. No one should be able to control neutral that well on top of invalidating half the cast's recoveries.

 

[Strong Badam]

"The character I don't have to adapt to to use in this game is different by 1 or 2 frames on a few things"

 

[Empyrean]

Or even better: "The character I'm using used to be a low-tier in Melee/Brawl. The fact that he's so much better is throwing me off."

 

[arcticfox8]

"You should see me play with the Wiimote."

 

[Kit Cal-N]

When I SD:
Only diamonds can cut diamonds.