NeighborhoodP
Smash Hero
I'm too lazy to write a real intro so...
The below people take so much away from the Smash Boards experience that we, Kira and I, said, “Hey, why don’t we make a thread about it?”
In the infamous words of The Rock, some people need to know their role. And shut their mouth.
1. Mio
It’s really hard to give Mio any justification through our own words; you just won’t believe someone is this ridiculous until you see it.
Finest moment:
The how-to definition of how to be a noob. They’ve mastered the whole checklist: (1) delusions of grandeur, (2) awful at smash, (3) incessantly annoying, and worse, they won’t even money match. Usually you can squeeze money out of misguided scrubs, but they’re *whispers* black, so they happen to be poor too. They’re so stereotypical that they can hardly be separated by name – they’re just like parrots.
Finest moments:
Similar to Mio in the sense that he’s ridiculously hard-headed and doesn’t realize when he’s the butt of the joke. May be trolled more often than anyone in Smash Boards history, but the difference is that instead of ever getting the picture, he’s just turned into a bigger *******. Word of advice: You’re not P. Get off his ****. If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, you’ll be coming out of the closet soon enough. Quit jockin mah fresh, j-j-jockin fresh (fresh fresh fresh fresh)!
Finest moments:
Unfounded arrogance is annoying as ****, and SDR has that in spades. He really wants you to like him and think he’s a good guy, but underneath the veneer is a close-minded, illogical, cocky [cens0red]. (Hey, we’re not trying to get this closed!) To be fair, because he’s so determined, he’s improved at Melee more than you would think, but that just makes him more insufferable in the end because now he really thinks he’s right. On top of those things, he’s a nerd who wants you to believe he’s cool. No, *****.
Finest Moments:
You might feel tempted to feel sorrier for this guy cause he’s still a deluded little kid. That said, don’t let his youth fool you: he has no hope for change. A pathological liar who endlessly tries his hardest to fit in and look cool doing it, he falls flat on his face every time. The stereotypical kid, you’re just surprised he’s not asking “do you like me yet?” after every one of his “performances.”
But hey, at least he money matches.
Finest moments:
Two words: worthless spammer.
Finest moment:
When you remember the name of a noob, that’s a testament to how annoying they are. Few people want to be liked more than Dantefox, and it’s creepy and awkward because he does it in the nerdiest way possible. We don’t know you. Stop acting like we like you.
Finest moments:
The most annoying little kid you can imagine; every time he talks to you, you want to just cringe. He is fundamentally wrong on all aspects of life, and you keep asking yourself: he can’t possibly be this clueless, can he? Worse, he tries really hard to be your friend, which reeks of insecurity. Gross.
Finest moment:
It’s hard to do this to Brendan, because in real life he can be one of the most colorful people you will ever meet, but at some undistinguishable point, his posts went from charming to nonsensical. Has been improving recently, but it’s doubtful he ever goes back to Golden Age Leon; he’s now just like SoCal’s less spammy answer to Choknater.
Finest moment:
We were going to rank Jkun somewhere on this list, but as we compiled his greatest moments, we were awestruck. This man doesn’t deserve criticism – no, he deserves absolute praise! If every noob was as lovable as Jason, there would be no need for this thread. Sure, he’s annoying at times, but come on now. Suck a ****, haters.
Finest moments:
Connor: *****, you’re not P
GSUB: A cross between worthless spammer and Mr. Try (Too) Hard (To Be Liked)
Festizzio: Seems to take pride in sucking
Sixth Sense / Little England: Pole jocks and flakes, a dubious combination.
Congratulations to all of our winners!
The below people take so much away from the Smash Boards experience that we, Kira and I, said, “Hey, why don’t we make a thread about it?”
In the infamous words of The Rock, some people need to know their role. And shut their mouth.
1. Mio
It’s really hard to give Mio any justification through our own words; you just won’t believe someone is this ridiculous until you see it.
The master of the self-implosion: Mio.
Finest moment:
2. Nicaboy / flaming Roy
The how-to definition of how to be a noob. They’ve mastered the whole checklist: (1) delusions of grandeur, (2) awful at smash, (3) incessantly annoying, and worse, they won’t even money match. Usually you can squeeze money out of misguided scrubs, but they’re *whispers* black, so they happen to be poor too. They’re so stereotypical that they can hardly be separated by name – they’re just like parrots.
Finest moments:
3. KouryuuXfighter
Similar to Mio in the sense that he’s ridiculously hard-headed and doesn’t realize when he’s the butt of the joke. May be trolled more often than anyone in Smash Boards history, but the difference is that instead of ever getting the picture, he’s just turned into a bigger *******. Word of advice: You’re not P. Get off his ****. If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, you’ll be coming out of the closet soon enough. Quit jockin mah fresh, j-j-jockin fresh (fresh fresh fresh fresh)!
Finest moments:
3. San Diego Reaper
Unfounded arrogance is annoying as ****, and SDR has that in spades. He really wants you to like him and think he’s a good guy, but underneath the veneer is a close-minded, illogical, cocky [cens0red]. (Hey, we’re not trying to get this closed!) To be fair, because he’s so determined, he’s improved at Melee more than you would think, but that just makes him more insufferable in the end because now he really thinks he’s right. On top of those things, he’s a nerd who wants you to believe he’s cool. No, *****.
Finest Moments:
5. Marthpwnzer
You might feel tempted to feel sorrier for this guy cause he’s still a deluded little kid. That said, don’t let his youth fool you: he has no hope for change. A pathological liar who endlessly tries his hardest to fit in and look cool doing it, he falls flat on his face every time. The stereotypical kid, you’re just surprised he’s not asking “do you like me yet?” after every one of his “performances.”
But hey, at least he money matches.
Finest moments:
6. Kaostar
Two words: worthless spammer.
Finest moment:
7. Dantefox
When you remember the name of a noob, that’s a testament to how annoying they are. Few people want to be liked more than Dantefox, and it’s creepy and awkward because he does it in the nerdiest way possible. We don’t know you. Stop acting like we like you.
Finest moments:
8.Tai
The most annoying little kid you can imagine; every time he talks to you, you want to just cringe. He is fundamentally wrong on all aspects of life, and you keep asking yourself: he can’t possibly be this clueless, can he? Worse, he tries really hard to be your friend, which reeks of insecurity. Gross.
Finest moment:
9. Leon
It’s hard to do this to Brendan, because in real life he can be one of the most colorful people you will ever meet, but at some undistinguishable point, his posts went from charming to nonsensical. Has been improving recently, but it’s doubtful he ever goes back to Golden Age Leon; he’s now just like SoCal’s less spammy answer to Choknater.
Finest moment:
0. Jkun
We were going to rank Jkun somewhere on this list, but as we compiled his greatest moments, we were awestruck. This man doesn’t deserve criticism – no, he deserves absolute praise! If every noob was as lovable as Jason, there would be no need for this thread. Sure, he’s annoying at times, but come on now. Suck a ****, haters.
Finest moments:
Honorable mention:
Connor: *****, you’re not P
GSUB: A cross between worthless spammer and Mr. Try (Too) Hard (To Be Liked)
Festizzio: Seems to take pride in sucking
Sixth Sense / Little England: Pole jocks and flakes, a dubious combination.
Congratulations to all of our winners!
