You literally just repeated what I said shouldn't be confused, these are the themes of the story, not the story itself.
The story is about some people getting trapped inside a videogame and having to survive inside it. The themes are psychological consequences this puts into someone, how the difference between reality and the virtual world becomes blurred and whatever other bull**** they want to throw into your face.
Oh yeah, that enormous amount of training even though that's never shown and he breaks the game even before that or when it shouldn't matter.
They actually did that? Jfc, this snowball just doesn't want to stop
You're right that the story is about needing to survive, that's exactly what I said (at least it's part of the what Aincrad arc is, anyway). But you're not right about it being about a video game.
You could tell the same story, but it could be changed to something like Saw, where the characters are trapped in some death game in the real world in a dank, abandoned building. Or they could be trapped on some island where a death game takes place and they have to survive there. And all of the key story beats could still play out the same. Kirito could still be a Gary Stu, Asuna could still be a character that starts off OK but gets butchered later on, etc.
The video game world is literally just a setting for the story. Everything I described in my previous post is a plot synopsis of each arc. Mother's Rosario especially is not about video games, it actually spends a good chunk of time in the real world as well.
Also, I wasn't saying that Kirito's training was a compelling plot point or anything. My point is that while the show calls it "EXP grinding" because the characters happen to be inside a game world, it's still just this show's version of "shonen anime protagonist training time skip", which is a common trope, and hence, just further demonstrates how the show REALLY isn't about video games. Kirito's EXP grinding that the show skips over is no different to how the Naruto series glossed over Naruto's three years of training between the original series and Shippuden (and he's suddenly way stronger after the time skip). It's no different to how Goku and Gohan spend years in the high gravity chamber (from their perspective), but we barely see any of this, and then suddenly, Gohan's an experienced Super Saiyan at the end of it. Nobody complains about it in those shows and accepts that it's par for the course in shonen anime, so why is it an issue here?
If SAO was a show ABOUT video game mechanics, it would have went into excruciating detail on how the different stats in the game worked, how you level them up and make the best use of them, etc. But since it's just your run of the mill shonen anime, everything is just used as an excuse to make powerful characters who get into flashy fights. Kirito's high EXP level and special dual wielding skill are literally just this show's version of Naruto having Kurama's Chakra inside him as well as his own, and his signature Rasengan technique that he can do as a result even at a young age.
I would agree with you if you said that SAO could have been a better and more unique show if it DID focus on being about video game mechanics (and did so well), rather than just being a run of the mill shonen anime with "it's a VR game world" being the excuse for the characters being able to have these flashy fights in the first place. But that's not what happened, and ultimately, the show isn't very good because it poorly utilises most of the main cast, and gets to a point where the stories it tries to tell are just flat out uncomfortable. Issues with the mechanics and whether or not people would play a game like SAO, are tertiary at best and mostly be written off with "people like bad video games, subjectivity is a thing", or "SAO is a game that lets you live and walk when you otherwise can't, or make love with your ideal girl or actual girlfriend when you are otherwise an anti-social otaku". Even if SAO and the other VR games were badly designed as traditional video games, there are still plenty of reasons people might play them.
And even so, not everyone who watches this show is well versed in MMO mechanics. Hell, I'm willing to bet most of it's audience isn't. That is just another reason why the game mechanics are so tertiary to the show.