KingK.Rool said:
Now I know your plot! And knowing is half the battle! /Mendez G.I. Joe
God, can no one keep up with my mad cultural reference skillz?
Alright, so it seems like you all could use a few pointers on sex and videogames. Just lay back, relax, and let a pro tell you how it's done...
..:: It's Perfectly Normal ::..
~ Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex & Sexual Health ~
Written and Illustrated by Chief Bitores Mendez
Chapter 1: Let's start with the legal limit debate. Technically, it varies by state/province/country, but Chris...let me tell you something. If you want to lust after a (totally hot, by the way) twelve year old vidoegame character, go right ahead. Who cares if Mist is twelve, sixteen, thirty, or two? She's not real, and there's no law governing the pursuit of fictional characters! Go nuts.
If they let me rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together
Chapter 2: Next, it seems that there's been some confusion about just what the "ideal" sort of girl your average male geek should be looking for. I've heard some of you say that any prospective partner doesn't necessarily have to be into videogames for a long-term pairing to work out, and I'm here to tell you that you are
dead wrong. The more into videogames your significant other is, the better your chances at ever being even remotely happy are. So in that light, obviously there's only one real option for most of us:
Sorry guys (and girls), he's taken
Chapter 3: THERE ARE NO GIRLS ON THE INTERNET. The only exception is that one time on World of WarCraft, but who cares about that sh*t?
Ignore Rule 30 at your own risk
Chapter 4: There is no Chapter 4. I just really wanted to post a GIF somewhere in here, and, believe it or not, none of the ones I have in stock have anything at all to do with sex.
/sarcasm
...Well actually, there is this one I picked up today on /GIF...
She's talking about here cat. It was in the tub.
Final Chapter: We've all had fun here, I think. But let's not forget
what's really important. The internet is a vast, mysterious, and oftentimes scary place to hang out. 99% of what you read, see, smell, and taste while logged on are blatant lies (
the sole exception being this fine print). Chances are, everything you think you know about the internet is actually the opposite. For example, here is a short list of assumed truths, and actual truths.
Assumption: Boobs are icky.
Actuality: Boobs are actually the coolest thing in the world.
Assumption: I know what I'm talking about.
Actuality: You don't.
Assumption: One day I'll find true happiness.
Actuality:
Assumption: Chief Mendez really isn't all he/she/it/potato's cracked up to be.
Actuality: I'm the coolest motherf*cker alive.
Assumption: I don't feel like spending money on Cave Story when it comes out on Wii Ware later this year.
Actuality: You do feel like spending money on Cave Story when it comes out on Wii Ware later this year.
Assumption: SirKibble has blond hair.
Actuality: He's bald. Get over it.
Assumption: :D
Actuality: D:
Assumption: Tires don exits.
Actuality: If you buy that...well, you probably bought the t-shirt too...
Assumption: MasterWarlord has a life.
Actuality: MasterWarlord has no life.
Assumption: Sometimes, when I see this one girl in school...I feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
Actuality: You have AIDS.
Assumption: I'm offended by something in this post.
Actuality: You're actually quite humored by it. Ain't life
grand?